Parker

I woke up earlier than the birds to make breakfast this morning.

I cooked eggs, bacon, pancakes and a frittata I found on the internet. It's been a week since we had the memorial for Gaius and things are starting to go back to normal. Well, relatively. I've been distancing myself. I've been scouring through all the books in the chest, which I found were given to the wolves by Faust. He'd hidden them away here.

None of the books mention anyone specific that fits the bill of who I'm looking for but the spells in the books are engaging and dangerous. True, there are spells that are practical and run-of-the-mill but there are some potent magics at play. It's only right that a scholar like Faust has compiled so many complex spells. It makes me wonder if I'm actually paranoid to suspect him to be treacherous.

I resolve to rejoin the wolves, who seemed to have connected while I was in self-imposed exile. Of the three, Kohl seems to be the furthest away from me. It hurts. I can't force myself on Kohl like I can on Mickey and Cassie. Mickey seems to love it when I annoy him and Cassie finds me charming. Kohl just hasn't been as charmed. I feel like there's more.

Maybe he blames me for Gaius death. I blame me. I should have let the enforcers handle it but I was so caught up in being the Luna (I still hate using that word in conjunction to me) of this pack. I wanted to protect them, much like Gaius and Kohl would and have.

My mind returns to the task at hand. Cassie came over an hour after I started cooking and spent the time talking to me. She started to share stories about Gaius and her brothers. I'm glad she can finally say his name without bursting into tears. I hated seeing her in such an emotional state, though I understand.

The next to join us is Mickey, who finds it acceptable to walk into the kitchen naked. I can't help but to take in the sight of his naked body. I swear if I were a self-conscious person, I'd be embarrassed by not being as fit as the rest of the wolves. I'm not muscular in the way they are. Sure, I'm pretty damn cute and of average height and weight but next to them, I'm the runt of the litter.

I'm also a Demi-God, so there's that.

"You do know we have company, right?" I ask as Mickey sits at the table.

"She's seen it more times than you have." Mickey smiles.

I roll my eyes as I sit a plate in front of him. Mickey laughs and I raise an eyebrow at him.

"What?" I ask.

"You bringing me a plate. I like it."

I scoff, "Don't get used to it. I'm being nice." I say as I sit a plate down in front of Cassie.

Mickey continues to smile, "Sure."

I put on a pot of coffee before sitting a plate down at an open spot at the table. I quickly take a seat in the last spot and watch the two wolves dig into their breakfast. A few minutes go by before the door opens and a clean-shaven Kohl walks out. He's been growing out a mustache that I don't really like, so his naked face is a welcome sight.

Kohl greets us before walking over and making a cup of coffee. He turns to us, leaning on the counter in front of the coffee maker. It's funny that wolves have very little in the way of electronics but they draw the line at things like coffee makers.

"Who cooked?" Kohl asks as he takes a sip of his coffee.

"Park," Cassie smiles, "It's delicious!"

"Yeah, I don't have to attempt to lie about liking it." Mickey says with a smirk.

"You're a real dick." I say turning my attention to Kohl, "You hungry? I fixed you a plate."

"Uh, I'd love to but I have a meeting this morning." Kohl says.

"That's the fourth time this week."

"There's a lot of red tape and contingency plans in place in case this happens again. Between all alliance packs." Kohl says defensively.

"Just sayin. I guess I should be glad that I saw you at all today." I say passive aggressively.

"Should we leave?" Cassie asks.

"No, I feel like they're getting to the good part." Mickey says watching with amusement.

"You, of all people, should understand the severity of another vampire attack." Kohl says sitting his coffee mug on the counter, "It's not like I have a choice."

"You're the Alpha, you're literally the only person on these lands that has a choice."

"Once again, that's not the way this works. I lead the pack. I have a responsibility to this pack, to act—"

"Spare me." I say as his voice starts to grate on me.

Cassie and Mickey have clearly become uncomfortable. I feel indescribably annoyed with Kohl. He's been acting off lately and I've barely seen him. I'm aware of how petty I am being but there's this divide between us.

"I'm sorry, what did you say?" Kohl asks.

"You should go. Your meeting."

"This conversation isn't over." Kohl says showing his obvious frustration.

I snicker angrily as I watch him leave. He slams the door on the way out and the two wolves who remain are staring at me. I groan as I move to Kohl's place and stab my eggs.

"What?" I ask.

"What did I just witness?" Cassie asks, "Are you two okay?"

"As you can see, Cass, we're great. Closer than ever." I look to her and sigh, "Sorry, he's just being a real douche lately and I'm trying to be understanding but getting close to Kohl is like touching dry ice with no gloves."

"That's—that's really deep. Have you been sitting on that one?" Cassie asks.

"Nope, just had a lot of time to think." I say looking into the plate, "You guys seem to be doing better. I'm glad the two of you are better. It's so refreshing."

"Dad wouldn't want us to be sad. I mean, I am pissed off and sad but I'm finding healthy ways of dealing with it."

"She's kickboxing with a muscular wolf she may or may not be dating." Mickey laughs, "I'm sure you're getting a whole lot of steam blown off."

"That's disgusting." Cassie frowns.

"Wait, so, you're dating another wolf? What about your mate?" I ask.

"You do know we can date, right? I don't have a mate yet, so I can date whoever I want."

"Do you think we're celibate?" Mickey asks.

I toss my knife on the plate, "Okay, please stop talking to me like an idiot."

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean for you to take it like that."

Cassie and I stare at Mickey. I find it odd that he's apologizing to me. I guess it's one of the many advantages to the mate bond. I've noticed that he's sometimes delicate with my feelings. It's jarring when it happens.

"Okay, that is fucking adorable!" Cassie smirks.

"Shut up." Mickey groans, "I just mean—we don't think you're an idiot. Wolves make such a huge fucking deal about mate bonds that it's easy to forget that before we mate, we're primal beasts."

"I feel like if I scratch you behind the ear, your leg would twitch." I say crossing my arms over my chest.

"Does it have to be my ear?" Mickey asks.

I squirm slightly. It feels odd being comfortable with his flirting. I think Cassie's presence causes this reaction. Mickey doesn't seem to mind in any sense of the word. Cassie is looking between us and I chuckle.

"I need to go and talk to Kohl. I'm clearly annoyed and rather than just be passive aggressive towards him, I need to just say all of the things that I haven't been saying. Maybe a little nicer because he's clearly going through things." I take a deep breath, "You guys are good, right? I can't imagine how you're feeling and I acknowledge your pain."

"You're like a shrink, you know that?" Mickey says, "We're fine. Go and talk to Alpha-know-it-all."

I laugh as I stand and head for my room. I'm becoming quite comfortable with Mickey. I'm starting to see all of the good things in him that I knew were there. He doesn't even seem threatened by Kohl. I find their maturity in all of this arousing.

Sooner or later, I'm going to have to confront that.

Parker

I clean up after breakfast and decide to find Kohl.

Cassie left to meet with friends and Mickey ran off, stating that he needed to run. If I can say one thing about Mickey, it is that if he says he's going for a run that is where he's going. He'll most likely come back smelling like pot. It's adorable.

Meanwhile, Kohl is being so annoying right now. He's dodging me and instead of telling me why, he's playing up his Alpha status in more ways than one. He, once again, had to be reminded that I am not one of his followers. I don't cower to him and I don't back down. He also used his 'with great power comes great responsibility' schtick on me.

I just wish he'd open up to me.

I journey down to Kohl's office to hear Kohl discussing our fight with Jasar. His frustration is evident and he's saying I'm acting like a brat. I assume the two of them realize I'm listening when the two wolves go silent. I knock softly and they announce I am okay to enter. Jasar leans on the arm of Kohl's brown leather sofa against the wall while Kohl stands beside him.

Jasar smiles at me while Kohl seems apprehensive. I don't blame him. He really should be at the moment.

"Sorry to interrupt. Promise I won't throw a fit like the little brat I am."

Jasar's smile fades while Kohl rolls his eyes. It's been a long while since Kohl has rolled his eyes at me and I don't miss it.

"Well, that seems like my cue." Jasar says as he stands and nods to me, "Luna, as lively as ever."

"Thanks, Jay."

I watch as he quickly exits the room. He shuts the door and when I feel he's out of earshot, I turn my gaze onto Kohl. The two of us share a type of frustrated expression. I take a deep breath.

"If you came to fight—"

"I'm sorry." I say before he can finish. His eyes squint at me. I tilt my head, "I was wrong to disrespect you in front of the others, or at all."

"That's very big of you."

"Yeah, it really is, especially when I didn't start the fight."

"You didn't?" Kohl asks, "Do tell."

"Yes, I was mildly passive aggressive but you've also been avoiding me for days. Don't lie to me."

A look of distress washes over him as he speaks, "I can't. You know that." He says with clinched teeth.

"Wow...the first boyfriend who couldn't lie to me. It's still stifling." I say as I exhale, "Now that I don't have to worry about you lying...exactly why are you avoiding me?"

"I can't lie to you."

"Established that."

"No, I'm avoiding you because I cannot lie to you."

"So, you'd rather avoid me than be honest with me? Jesus, werewolves are creating loopholes just to not tell me the truth." I sigh, "Why?"

"Why do you do the exact opposite of what I tell you?"

"Because you TELL me to do things. You don't own me."

"You're mine!" Kohl roars. It causes me to jump and he clearly has to reel himself back in, "I understand that you don't abide by wolf law—"

"Excuse me? That's all I've done for the past year!"

"But you're not only putting yourself in danger but others as well."

"Oh? Like taking a 'recon' team to visit the vampires?" I ask.

"I made a choice."

"Yeah, we all did."

"My choice didn't end with someone dead." Kohl says without thinking.

The moment the words leave his mouth, he seems to regret it. It's too late. I worried that he'd blame me because everyone eventually will. I feel exhausted. I've left everything I knew, I've immersed myself in werewolf lore and law and I've given up a lot to be here with him. I've put up with all of these weird situations for Kohl.

I saved the pack while he was gone.

"I don't mean that."

"That's the problem, Kohl. You mean it. That's it, right? It's the reason you've been avoiding me?" I shiver slightly, "You think I got Gaius killed."

"I don't know if worse things would have happened but I do know that you made a choice and there were repercussions."

"Had you been here, maybe he wouldn't have had to fight beside me. Or maybe we wouldn't have had to take on a group of vampires ourselves."

"So, his death is my fault now?"

"Repercussions. You made a choice and so did I. What you're not going to do is hang Gaius' death on my shoulders! The fact that you think this, let alone said it...I don't want to be around you."

"This is why I didn't want to—"

"How about this? You sleep on the sofa until I decide I'm ready to see you again. You know what's better, I'm sleeping in Mickey's room until you stop being an asshole."

"You're angry. I understand. What I said was beyond hurtful but I think if we talk about this it will make things better."

"You didn't want to talk. You hurt me by avoiding me like I didn't matter enough to say what you had on your mind. So, now I'm supposed to talk? To you? You go to Hell."

I turn away from him and leave the room, slamming the door behind him. I can't even form words. For him to blame me for Gaius' death hurts me to my core. He's like a father to me. I wonder if his words strike me so hard because I, on some level, feel the same.

Parker

I walk back into the apartment and slam the door behind me.

I took a walk around the pack lands and ended up right back where I started. I walk over and throw myself onto the sofa. I've been thinking for quite some time. I start to wonder if I am Gaius' murderer. I wonder if I'm the reason he's dead right now. I wonder if I could have done more.

No.

I turn my head when the door opens and Mickey walks through wearing nothing. I wonder if the wolves ever, in their lives, feel self-conscious about their bodies. Not every wolf here is a hardbody but they all seem secure with their bodies.

Mickey's body, much like Kohl's, causes a much more visceral reaction throughout my entire body. After the feeling snakes its way from my head to toe, it moves back up to my loins. Mickey has a strange effect on me these days. His body is unexplored. I wish he'd just agree to mate with me so we can finally alleviate the tension. He has this need to be on par with Kohl but our relationship isn't the same. It's not a bad thing.

I watch as he walks over and sits down beside me. I ignore that he's naked and that he smells like a dispensary.

"You look like you found Kohl and it didn't go well." Mickey says with his signature witty tone. When I don't bite he sighs, "What'd he say?"

"What a lot of people are thinking." I look over to him, "Do you think I got Gaius killed?"

"No. That's the dumbest shit you've ever said and that's saying a lot." Mickey's anger causes me to smile at him, "This is funny to you?"

"I just—you're cute when you're pissed."

"Did you just call me cute?" Mickey asks. His cheeks redden and he smiles, "Listen, what were you supposed to do? Let the vampires rip the pack apart?"

"Let the enforcers handle it?"

He scoffs, "You created the fuckin sun. I'd like to see one of these pansies do that."

"I feel like I've been a good sport about a lot of things, including being wolfnip for you and your brother. I just—hearing Kohl say that hurt so much more than I could have thought. The thought that he was right is worse."

"Kohl is a prick. He's short-sighted and, frankly, threatened by anyone that doesn't cower to him." Mickey frowns, "Gaius groomed him to be the Alpha and he literally can't see anything other than that. His balance between that and you is too much for him to deal with sometimes."

"How am I supposed to deal with that?" I ask.

"You're the Luna. And you've got another mate. We could always run away."

I stare at him, "You won't even touch me. Be kinda hard to run away with someone when he won't to—"

I'm caught off guard when Mickey reaches over and pulls the back of my head towards him. Our lips meet and the taste of cinnamon infiltrates my lips. In a swift motion, he leans back and pulls me on top of him.

I push myself against him, every nerve in my body tingling. I pull away and instantly move my hands down to my pants. I quickly unzip my pants and slide them off. He leverages his hands so that he pulls on my briefs, ripping them off with ease. He helps me remove my shirt and I toss it to the floor.

His arm snakes around my waist and he sits up, clutching me tightly. I pull away and move my lips to his neck. I lick his neck, tasting cinnamon with every movement of my tongue. His throat moves, letting out a satisfied growl.

It's not the last time I hear it.