SA tanong ni US Senator Grecilla ay pareho kaming natahimik ni Yven. Natameme talaga kami. Para kaming naging bato na naparalisado sa simpleng tanong lang. We just found ourselves staring back at each other as if the answer on her question can be found on each other's faces.

And swear, at that very moment, I want to just dig a grave for myself and bury my body there forever! This situation is too embarassing for me to handle! I really can't manage this!

But then, Senator Grecilla laughed gently. Tama ang mga nababasa kong article, kahit sa personal ay intimidating talaga ang babaeng ito. Tipong kinakausap niya lang naman kami ng casual pero para sa akin ay para na kaming nasa isang thesis defense. Iyong dapat ay maipaglaban sa kanya ang aming papers dahil buhay namin ang nakataya doon.

"Don't tell me, you failed to think about it first before you chose to enter her life?" Ang pagsasalita muli ni Senator Grecilla.

Nagpatuloy lang talaga siya sa pagsasalita na para bang isang professor na hindi hahayaang makawala ang kanyang students nang hindi napapahiya. "Zabiana is a reporter and you, President Yven is the leader of your country."

She is really fearless when she asked Yven straight to his eyes, "what if along the way, Zabiana discovered something nasty that is going on under your governance? You know? That nasty thing that we, politicians, are so afraid for the public to know?"

That . . . hit me big time.

Ngayon ko lang naisip ang lahat. Ngayon lang talaga biglang naging maliwanag sa akin ang lahat ng maaring kapalit ng relasyon namin na ito. Sa patuloy niyang pagtatanong ay unti-unti rin na lumilinaw sa akin ang kanyang punto.

And I am starting to get anxious by it. I am now overthinking. Bigla talagang sumulpot ang hesitations sa puso ko patungkol sa kung tama pa nga ba ang nangyayari? O baka sadyang hindi ko lang iyon makita sa ngayon kasi hulog na hulog pa ako kay Yven?

But clearly thinking about what Senator Grecilla is trying to impose on our minds, it really looks like there is really a problem that is going on.

This relationship might really cause my integrity. Because when I chose to be a reporter, I already promised myself that I am going to report nothing but the truth. That no matter what happen, I will always be true to my core and to my conscience. That my job to deliver an authentic news will be as clean as I want it to be.

All my life, I wanted to be that reporter who will be remembered as someone who tells the truth and not a lie. Someone who is trusworthy for the job. Someone who will be respected because she stayed with her true colors. Because she will not get swayed by any nuisance that will come along her way. She will stay on her ground to deliver nothing but real news.

And sadly, I may not be able to do that now if ever Yven's name is at risk. I may not be able to do the things I used to do for the sake of him. Kasi iba na ang scenario ngayon. Hindi na lang sarili ko ang dapat kong isipin. Hindi na ito para lang sa sarili kong kapakanan.

Pero biglang naputol ang malalim kong iniisip nang biglang magsalita si Yven. Hinila niya ako mula sa beywang ko at lalong idinikit ang katawan sa akin. Hinaplos niya ang likod ko na tila bang pinapakalma ako. Pero bakit tila ngayon ay siya talaga ang may kailangan niyon?

"Zabi and I both respect each other's privacy, Ma'am." Ang baritonong boses ni Yven. He is now caressing my waist with his thumb when he chose to just continue, "and that means our work will never be a talk for us. What we have on our job stays on our workplace. We both love each other that we will respect our boundaries. You know? When it is confidential, we will never push each other just to spill it because after all, we are just all about the intimacy and the personal things that's surrounding our relationship."

Wait . . .

What he just said doesn't sound well to me. So he is now making decisions without my approval? He is now spouting things as if we already agreed on it? As if I already let him to think that way?

Well, I don't find it as a good idea because once you have something that you are hiding with your partner, that is when the trust are breaking. That is where issues are taking place to produce nothing but malignant situations.

Kasi ang gusto ko sa relasyon, iyong open. Iyong walang tinatago. Kasi kung may tinatago ka sa partner mo, that just mean one thing. You don't trust her. You don't want to trust her and it will hurt her big time.

On that specific moment, I made a mental note for my burning head. I will discuss this to him and I will make sure that he will understand where I am going. I am not going to be swayed by his love to me. He should know that trust always come next to love. And if he really love me, he should entrust me all of him-yes, even if it means unveiling all of his dark secrets and flaws to me.

"Right, baby?" Ang muling tanong sa akin ni Yven. Pinutol na naman niya ang malalim kong iniisip.

Isang malalim lang naman ang ginawa ko sa isip ko. I wanted to shake my head. I wanted to take my stand, to keep my ground. But on the other hand, I know that I can't embarass him infront of the President of the United States. Ito ang unang gabi na nagkaroon ng linaw ang label naming dalawa, hindi ko iyon sisirain. Atleast, I am trying hard not to.

There, I just smiled sweetly at him. And then I nod my head when I mumbled, "yeah."

The word tastes too awful on my tongue. I am wishing to all of the God in heaven for Senator Grecilla and Presiden Vonne to not notice how uncomfortable I am with my answer. Mabuti naman at paramg hindi naman nila iyon napansin nang ngitian ako nang matamis ng senadora.

"You are so lucky to have her, President Yven," the honorable woman started, "because if I were her, I will literally bitch out."

Doon ay narinig kong matawa nang bahagya si President Vonne. He is shaking his head as if playing the same scenario of him fighting with his raging wife on his mind right now.

"If the both of you only know," he continued laughing and we joined him, "this one is really scary when mad."

Matapos niyon ay nag-usap pa sila nang nag-usap. Naputol ang pakikinig ko sa kanilang dalawa nang bigla akong kausapin ni Senator Grecilla. Swear, noong mga oras na iyon ay napaayos talaga ako ng upo na para bang isa akong army at katabi ko ang commander ko ngayon. Intimidating lang naman kasi talaga ang kanyang outlook! Hindi ko mapigilan ang talaga nga namang makaramdam ng kakaibang takot sa kanya. Kasi nakakahiya kapag mali ang nasabi ko! Alam kong hindi niya naman ako huhusgahan pero kasi naman, intimidating talaga!

"How long since you become a reporter, Zabiana?" She is smiling at me sweetly but my intimidation with her vibes is still burning on my freaking system!

"For about a couple of months now, Ma'am." I told her calmly. Externally, I am calm but internally? I may just pass out! I really can't believe that I am now talking with the only woman on the Senate of United States of America!

"Oh, you are still new to your job." She is nodding her head.

"Yes, Ma'am." I answered her politely

"You know what? I really admire you all for choosing that kind of job. Because without you all, news around the world would not be visible for everyone to see and acknowledge. Because you are all here to deliver nothing but authentic news, the truth is within our reach." She mumbled to me and I thanked her non-stop. Alam kong nakukulitan na siya sa akin pero patuloy lang talaga ako sa pagpapasalamat sa kanya na para bang isang timang. I can't help but respect her!

Matapos niyon ay nag-usap pa kami. Sa pagtagal ng oras ng pag-uusap namin ay unti-unti na rin naman akong naging komportable sa kanya. Unti-unti ay lubos ko na siyang naramdaman bilang isang simpleng taong nakikipag-usap ng simple sa kagaya kong hindi niya ka-level. She is really so grounded and humble for this.

Sa conversation namin ay sinabi niya sa akin kung gaano kahirap ang pinagdaanan niya marating lang ang pwesto kung nasaan siya ngayon. She told me that it took her all of her efforts to finally put herself to her throne. And she is really motivated to make a change. Kasi sa tagal raw ng panahon ay marami na raw ang nangyari. Pero mayroon pa rin raw na dapat ayusin patungkol sa mga batas ng America sa mga kababaihan.

Sa buong pag-uusap namin ay isa ang nakuha ko. Senator Grecilla is a huge feminist. She is dedicating her life in trying to uplift and improve the lives of every woman in America. She kept going back to the era where we are being belittled. Where woman are just known for just being a wife. By just bearing a child. She firmly believes that we are more than that. That we can also provide to the family. We can also be a firm foundation that will strenghten our family.

She is a huge believer that every woman out there is also capable to do the things that men are capable of. That we can also top and man up when we needed the most.

Kasi ang babae ay hindi babae lang. Minsan pa nga, mas lalaki pa ang paninindigan namin keysa sa mga lalaki. We are always firm with what we want in life and we are going to make sure that it will happen. That soon, it will come to us without any warning.

Ito talaga ang isa mga natutunan ko nang tumanda na ako. Kasi dati, Daddy always told me that I should find a man that will be able to satisfy my needs. That will be able to give me a comfortable life. Now that I am older, I started to learn that those ideas are too mysoginistic.

Women doesn't need anyone to excel and have a life to be proud of. On our bare hands, we can grow. We can turn our lives into how we want it to be and we will because we can and because we are capable of doing that. We are born to be a provider and we are good at manning the household and as well, our goals in life. Everyone should know that.

Senator Grecilla's words really inspired me a lot.

Matapos din niyon ay nag-usap pa kami. Hindi ko nga inakala na kaya ko rin palang mag-open up sa kanya. Nakwento ko rin kasi sa kanya ang mga hirap na naranasan ko para lang maging isang reporter. She told me that she is really delighted that I became a reporter. And that she is also looking forward for me to be known.

Doon ay labis talaga akong kinilig! Mas kinilig pa talaga ako sa kanya keysa sa mga corny na banat ni Yven sa akin!

Pero may mga point talaga na nagiging personal talaga ang topic namin. Halos mahimatay ako nang napunta pa kami sa topic na sex! Yes, freaking sex!

At first, I was shocked when she asked me if Yven is good in bed. Nagulat pa nga siya nang malaman na puro handjob at oral sex lang kami. Bilib daw siya sa pagtitimpi ko. Natawa na lang ako.

But I totally lost it when she was the one to told me about her sex experience with President Vonne. Sabi niya ay wild raw ang Presidente sa kama. Active pa rin daw ito kaya talagang ramdam niya sa sarili niya na sexy pa rin siya. Pero under niya raw ito lagi sa kama. Wala raw itong nagagawa kapag siya na ang nagmamando. Lagi niya pa nga raw itong tinatalian sa kamay! Ganoon raw talaga ang wild ng kanilang relasyon behind all of these politics thing.

Doon ay talagang namula ang mukha ko!

Kasi naman itong si Senator Grecilla, bakit sobrang open sa akin na para bang matagal na niya akong kaibigan? Na para bang marami na akong alam kaya komportable na siyang sabihin sa akin ang lahat! Mabuti na lang talaga at busy pa rin sina Yven at President Vonne sa paguusap. Mukhang wala silang ideya na ang kanilang mga partner ngayon ay pinaguusapan kung ano ang performance nila sa kama.

Muntik ko na talagang mahampas ang senadora habang natatawa nang malala! Buti na lang talaga at napigilan ko ang sarili ko!