Adhira:

Stars were splattered across the sky like diamonds embedded into a vast canvas. The darkness seemed to emphasize the light from the stars. It's like during the darkest times, we burn our brightest and hardest to survive. Even if there's every reason for us to give up, we're still hanging on. The pain of loss in my chest can probably never die down. I'm just going to learn how to live with it. Learning isn't easy. It is rather messy.

The silent atmosphere and the breeze calmed me down considerably. She took me near a rock that drops into the valley down below. I squinted to see a bird's eye view... of the tower that I died on every day.

"Did you always watch me from up here?" I asked her.

"Yes," she replied.

She sat down and pulled me between her legs securely. We just remained for a few minutes and I went on to talk to her, "What you did in the morning with me... was it just to mark your scent on me or possibly draw your territory?"

"There was no underlying purpose for it. Did anybody say something to you, Adhira?" she asked.

"No," I replied. I just didn't want to throw Xeno under the bus.

"If somebody's messing with your mind, you better tell me about it because I will find out. It won't turn out very pleasant for them," she warned.

I gulped and shook my head worrying about Xeno's fate. I wanted to ask questions abrasively without worrying about the consequences but there's this underlying fear that just won't go away. So, I just sat still and just tried to rigidly enjoy her company.

"You're nervous and you're thinking. What's running in your stubborn little head, Adhira?" she asked.

"Nothing," I replied as I chewed my lip.

"Doesn't seem like nothing," she spoke and placed her lips against the side of my neck.

I tried to pull away from her advances and she allowed me to. I looked back at her and snapped, "It's nothing. When I say it's nothing. It's just nothing!"

She observed me carefully. My breathing got heavier as I argued, "I want you to leave me alone or just don't talk to me for a while."

She shook her head in confusion, "You seem angry but I see fear in your eyes. If you don't tell me what's going on with you, I wouldn't know how to help you."

She stroked my bandaged cheek, leaned in, and gently asked me, "If you feel afraid that I might hurt you, I promise I would never do that. I know that I broke the promise once and you're scared because of it. How do I fix this?"

"You should allow me to touch people that I talk to," I whispered.

She glared, "Am I not enough for you to touch? To have someone else mix up your scent will drive me wild. This is how shifters work sweetheart."

She lifted me and flipped me around to sit me down on her lap facing her. She pulled me close and tucked some strands of hair behind my ear. My face flushed with warmth at her glowing eyes. Her hands ran down my back making me arch my back instinctively.

"Nyx, stop doing that," I complained.

Her fingers slipped into my hair and gripped my scalp gently. She brushed her lips against my jaw, "Stop doing what?"

I tried to pull away and she immediately let go of my hair as if she recognized the shift in my emotions. She sighed, "You can do whatever you wish to do. But nobody will be touching you. That's final."

I sighed, "whatever."

.

.

The next day, I woke up wrapped in Nyx's arms. She didn't leave for her morning run. It felt warm and she's got a unique scent that made me rather fuzzy on the insides.

"You're awake," she spoke as if she'd been awake for a while.

"You didn't go for your run," I mentioned.

"I wouldn't be around the entire day. I'd rather be with you now," she stated.

"Why?" I asked feeling rather puzzled.

She just placed her lips against my forehead and got off the bed, "The bathroom is all yours. I'll fetch you once you're done." And she left without another word.

So, I was in the shower, water running through my hair. My lips uttered and hummed...

"But if the world was ending
You'd come over, right?
You'd come over and you'd stay the night
Would you love me for the hell of it?
All our fears would be irrelevant
If the world was ending
You'd come over, right?
The sky'd be falling and I'd hold you tight
And there wouldn't be a reason why
We would even have to say goodbye"

My tears ran down with the water. I sobbed... I didn't understand how to deal with the constant pain in my heart. To have a lifetime of memories ripped out of my heart and thrown away like it was nothing...

Words stumbled out of my mouth, "My sky has fallen, Amma. How do I survive this?"

I slipped down the tiles and turned off the shower. I just lay still and held my head in my hands. I shivered and curled up. I couldn't get off the floor. I felt my pieces shatter and I struggled to breathe. My tears wouldn't stop falling. A silent scream left my mouth and I rocked myself for a false sense of comfort.

The door burst open and Nyx was rushing inside the shower compartment. She picked me up and wrapped me in a towel. I just lay limp against her frame. She wiped me dry and dressed me in her oversized clothes. She didn't complain and my mind felt numb, my reality fading out of my vision.

I just wanted to shut down and not have to deal with anything around me. Nyx's voice seemed to be coming out of a well. She kept calling my name over and over again. She looked really worried for the first time.

She bent down to look at me and her lips captured mine. She kissed me over and over again until I blinked several times, bringing me out of my state.

I kissed her back desperately trying to feel something good. I tugged at her shirt as she pulled away and tried to look at me as if to figure out if I'm fine physically.

"I don't think I'll be going anywhere with you being like this," she said letting despair show on her face.

I shook my head lightly and said, "You don't have to stay. I'm okay." My voice sounded robotic with a lack of life.

She shook her head with worry, "No way."

"Nyx, I'm okay. I just need some food," I told her glumly and patted her arm.

She looked at me with some emotion in her eyes, "I really want to help you, Adhira. I just don't know how to."

My eyes burned with unshed tears and grimaced in pain, "I don't know how to help myself either. But we'll work it out right?" A tear slipped my cheek and hit the fabric of my shirt.

She kneeled down before me and held my hands, "Yeah, we will. I know that you feel as if I don't care about you. But, I do. You're now my mate for this lifetime."

Her statement hit me right in the heart. All of a sudden, I began to realize how big this really was. I was now mated to a powerful being of another world and in the process, I'm bringing her trivial troubles of mine to worry about. I was being more of a burden than anything at all.

I frowned and I quickly fixed my face to wear a mask. I nodded, "I'm going to go down for some breakfast. You can wash up if you want to."

We weren't going to work it out. I was going to work it out and be mature enough to not trouble her anymore.

So I stood up and grabbed a small towel to dry my hair. I just made my way down to the kitchen without looking if Nyx was accompanying me.

I found a man in the kitchen. He seemed a little shorter than Nyx but was taut with lean muscle. He appeared to be the same man who approached us just before we created our mate bond.

His brown eyes lit up as he beamed brightly looking at me. I just couldn't cope with his blinding optimism and even wondered how Nyx put up with him. He spoke up, "Hey there! I'm Carlos. Do you want some breakfast? I've got something called cereal here... And some almond milk. Would that do?"

I nodded and walked around him to grab a bowl and fill something that looked like Chocolate Muesli and poured in some almond milk.

He seemed to get upset at my lack of reaction, "Are you okay... Adhira?"

I looked up at him and nodded, "Yeah I'm okay. Just tired."

He seemed to grimace and shake his head, "Yeah, we could take you to the healer to help you heal..."

"No damn healer can help me heal out of this," I told him with some sort of finality in my voice and I glared at him to shut the hell up.

He seemed to pout and mumble something along the lines of, "Just like Nyx, dammit."

As I chewed on the cereal, he grinned at me still and dismissed himself out of the kitchen. I ate my cereal to gain back my strength and left the building to explore again. I was going to help myself calm the hurricane of emotions inside me. I wanted to destroy something and so carried a kitchen knife.

I sat at a small spring and stabbed the knife at the ground to entrench it into the soil.

Nyx appeared behind me, "Why do you have the knife?"

I looked back and glared at her only to be taken aback by her attire. Her hair was wet from her shower. Her upper half was clad in some kind of golden-brownish sleek metal garment that appeared to be some sort of armor but it hardly covered much of her skin. But at the rate her skin heals, she wouldn't need much of a cover-up. But damn, did her torso look magnificently attractive!

I gulped noticing the bulge of her breasts over the cups of her armor and her abdomen appearing as if she spends several hours a day, toning them. Her legs and hips wore something that looked like athletic leggings. It was the first time that she looked so well-dressed and it left me breathless.

I just happened to curse lightly, "Fucking hell!"

"So, my appearance does please you," Her eyes seemed to crackle a bright blue.

"Pfft! No, it doesn't," I insisted and buried my forehead in my hands. What the hell was I doing?! Get ahold of yourself, Adhiee!

She walked toward me and squatted down before me. She flicked up the knife from the ground smoothly, "I'll be taking this."

I frowned and tried to grab it, "Why? Give that back to me!"

She stood up to her full height and held up the knife out of my reach. I stumbled to my feet as well as I tried to seize the knife. I felt awfully aware of the proximity of her body as I stood on my tippy toes with my fingers up in the air. She wrapped her other arm around my waist and pulled me against her.

She flipped the knife smoothly between her fingers and shot it diagonally up in the air. All while keeping her eyes intensely on me and hardly looking in that direction. My jaw dropped when I saw the knife having pierced a thick tree trunk fifteen feet above the ground.

"No..." I whined seeing that the knife was completely through the trunk and it wasn't coming down at all.

I threw my head back and pouted, "Why would you do that?"

"I don't trust you with a knife," she teased as I felt her eyes on my throat.

I just looked at her in annoyance, "Aren't you leaving?"

"Not yet," she told me as her eyes twinkled in mischief. I blushed as I watched this new side of hers.

"Well, you should," I told her feeling flustered. I picked at the chains over her shoulders that led down to the piece covering her chest.

"I don't exactly feel like leaving," she whispered into my ear as she ran her fingers through my hair.

"Why? You're dressed so well. You should go," I told her.

She hummed, "Today's some sort of celebration for the new phase. It's only for the leaders to attend but you're my mate and you can come. Do you want to come?"

"No, I'll be okay here. I don't think it's advisable for me to be around that many people," I told her.

She bent down and cupped my cheek. She stopped just an inch away from my face and said, "Kiss me then."

My breath hitched, "What?"

Her eyes seemed to smirk, "Kiss me and I'll leave."

I looked at the goddess before my eyes. I had never done this before but just 30 seconds of courage and I wanted to really touch her. My fingers traced her abdomen timidly. She sucked in a breath and her gaze hardened. She seemed to warn me, "Adhira... You little-"

I quickly pressed my lips against hers and she took the lead. She kissed me passionately and I just could not understand why she would kiss me like this. Time seemed to slow for me and emotions swirled inside me. I felt sad, hurtful, confused, and lastly... some sort of blossoming affection for her.

We pulled away and I breathed for air. My lips were swollen and she appeared rather satisfied. She just looked at me with some sort of emotion. It had me questioning if I was really alone. Did she want more from me and yet I could not give it to her due to my mental state? I was too scared to ask her.

I nodded at her gesturing her to leave. Her eyes softened at me and she talked softly, "Will you be good until I come back? Promise me you'll eat your lunch and be good to yourself."

I got slightly teary-eyed and smiled, "I'll be good to myself."

She placed a firm forehead kiss and left me near the spring. I watched her walk away without looking back.

My tears fell as I felt a whole new battle start inside me and I was certain that it was time I fought with all my might... again.

Nyx Alarie Tempest... What should I even think of you? How would I even give myself to you?

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