I can't believe what's been happening. I don't even understand how this happened. Why would they need me in this plan? We're really going to overthrow the government. He said that if we won, we could get rid of our system of judging people by hair color, but is that really worth it? I can't let him hurt my family.

This year has been insane. First, I get a symbol that's been extinct for hundreds of years, then I get these eyes that I don't even understand. I have to move here, and now me, Rivka, and Vincent are some kind of chosen ones who have to end our government and put this other person in power. 

I guess it isn't fair that it was taken from him when he never even had a chance to do things better. Not to mention when they tried to kill him he was just a baby. He said that one of us would take power after him. I've been told that I should have the throne because the redheads used to be rulers but, I don't know how much I believe it. Rivka would probably be better. She acts more like a ruler, and Vincent seems to have been trained for this his whole life. Either one of them could do way better as a leader than I ever could.

So far he seems to be favoring Rivka. He says that one of the most important skills for us to have is loyalty. Rivka is always a lot more trusting of him than I am. When we were there today, she seemed so excited when he was teaching us about combat. He always smiles when she's there and compliments her a lot more than me or Vincent. Rivka is a lot better at controlling her powers than I am too. She's had them since she was seven and her eyes seem to helping her. I wonder how she got them.

Usually people with black hair can't earn blue eyes. I had blue eyes at a certain point, and that's still how they show up in pictures. I miss that. I miss being able to control my powers. I miss knowing exactly what my powers even are. I wish I could figure it out but that's so hard to do when they won't even stay the same.

I wish I knew what Vincent's eyes could do. I've never seen eyes like those. His master always seems a lot more strict with him than either of us. Sometimes I see him glaring at Vincent without much of a reason. This happens a lot when he's asked me to do something. Vincent usually seems fine with it but, sometimes I can tell he hates the idea of letting his master down. I wish I knew what he was trying to do. Maybe I could help.

Damien told me that I couldn't tell anyone about what we were going to do until it's over. It's been a couple of weeks since I started training with him. I'd really like to talk to Ayana about this, or maybe one of my friends back home. I wish I knew what was going to happen. I hope he doesn't do anything to my mom. Surely he wouldn't do it as long as I stay loyal to him. He wouldn't! He can't! He better not.

Rivka and I have a dueling tournament today. Right now we're waiting for it to start and trying to warm up.

"Hey," Astrid says walking up to me, "Ready for your first tournament?"

"I hope so," I say.

"You'll do great, just don't lose control this time."

"Yeah, that's probably a good idea. Are we going to have the battle royale thing this time?"

"No, it's not until the championship."

"Ah."

"Don't sound so disappointed by that," she laughed, "You'll still get to beat people up, don't worry."

"That's not what I meant and you know it."

"I know, good luck out there." and I can't help but smile and look over at Rivka

"You too."

"Welcome," the announcer calls, "Today we are about to witness the power and talent of our youth. Including the first freshmen to be on a team in several decades on Noxon High School's own team."

The crowd applauds and I can't help but smile and look over at Rivka. She's smiling too but, seems a lot more calm than I am. I wish my mom could be here. I hope she's okay.

Each person takes their turns fighting until Rivka and I are the only ones left. She takes her turn against a senior with black hair like hers and deep brown eyes. I can't even focus on their fight to see what happened. When it's over the announcer says that Rivka won. That's good. I glance at the scoreboard and see that the game is tied. I have to win this.

I glance up at Vincent in the audience. He smiles at me and I smile back. Maybe I can do this. I see a look of pain and shock cross his face. He sees me still looking and smiles like nothing happened, but I can see something's wrong. I wonder what it is. He's obviously still in pain.

We take up the position. I'm against a blonde with dark green eyes. They aren't like Vincent's that are brighter and have flecks of other colors in them. His are dark. He's a lot bigger than me and has a sword like I do. the alarm sounds signaling us to fight. He calls up a shield and charges at me with his sword. I swing at him and he blocks it.

I feel vines wrapping around my wrists and legs. I look back and see that they're coming from the circle of dirt that surrounds us. I call up my fire to burn them away. Suddenly I feel the burning in my chest that always comes when I'm about to lose control of my powers and too much is going to escape.

No! Not here! Not now! Stop! Why is this happening? I'm doing everything I can to suppress it but nothing's working! Suddenly it escapes in the form of a fiery explosion. Only this one isn't just around me. This time it goes in one direction straight at Vincent. I hear him scream for a moment.

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I wake up on the floor of the arena with everyone looking down at me. What happened? What did I do to make that happen? How did I do it? Rivka and Hendrix help me to my feet.

"What was that?" Rivka asks.

"I-I don't know," I say.

"I thought I told you not to try using that until you could control it," Hendrix says.

"I know, I didn't mean too. I don't know where it came from," I say.

"Are you okay?" Astrid walks up and asks.

"I-I think so, I'm just a little shaken. Is Vincent okay? The guy who got hit."

"He's fine, a few people offered to take him to the hospital but, he just went home. He has a few burns but, none of them are too bad. They'll probably heal in a couple days."

"We also got disqualified because of whatever you did," a boy on my team with black hair and brown eyes says.

"I'm sorry," I say.

"It wasn't her fault," Hendrix says before turning back to me, "But Lily you are going to be suspended from the next three tournaments."

"Okay."

"I'm sorry, but we just can't let you compete after hurting someone in the crowd like that."

"Alright that's fair."

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I'm sitting in my room now. I wish I knew what happened. I've lost control a few times before, but I thought I was getting better. I've certainly never had it target a specific person like that before.

Ugh! I wish I could just control my stupid powers! I wish I didn't even have them! I want to go back to being a blonde! I miss my powers being safe to use without worrying about killing a person for no apparent reason! At least when I was ignored no one cared when I screwed up with my powers! I miss not having to worry about my family! I miss not having to worry about the fate of the world! Why me?! Why did this have to happen at all?! Why did I even have to get these powers?!

I just want to go back to how things were before.