Guy was blinded temporarily by the camera flashes as he stood on the red carpet with Jane outside of the television BAFTAs. Jane wore the flimsiest dress he had ever seen. It looked like a pair of his mother's net curtains over a pair of tiny knickers. As the cameras flashed he could see that the dress then became seethrough.

City Vets was up for an audience award in direct competition with Simon's Soulcamp. The media had a field day as the paparazzi had pictures of Simon and Ailsa snogging up a storm at London Bridge Market a few weeks ago. It made a fabulous Christmas picture. The few snow flakes catching in Ailsa's hair. He had memorised it as he had seen it on the front cover of every gossip magazine in the land.

Guy was convinced that someone at Madcow had tipped them off so that the ratings of both shows could rocket ahead of the awards. He had his share of pap shots however he knew that Jane had tipped them off. He had a horrible Christmas weekend at his parents where his every move was documented.

In particular the Christmas get together in the local pub. All of the locals were now swanning about demanding drinks from journalists giving their insight on the Gane relationship (Guy + Jane = Gane). Guy hated it.

He hated it and Jane loved it. Try as he might he could not throw her in the wake of someone more famous. He looked around the red carpet and spotted Ailsa and Simon getting out of the car and beginning their pap walk.

Ailsa was terrified. She was terrified of the baying mob, terrified of the pap walk and most of all terrified of messing up. Simon had organised a spa session for her with a full massage and yoga class that afternoon. It did not relax her one bit. Indeed she was as wound up as a spring. Mostly because everyone at the Spa wanted to talk to her about Simon and to be fair she wanted a different topic to talk about. She hated being defined by her choice of sexual partner. It was as though she didn't exist.

Simon on the other hand loved the attention. He took her by the hand and led her down the carpet posing for the cameras all the way. Stopping to sign autographs. Ailsa found herself offering to take photographs with his adoring fans.

Ailsa spotted Guy and smiled warmly.

"Ailsa let's have a photo with you and Guy!" Someone from the mob shouted.

Guy walked over and the flashes erupted. Jane looked over at Guy and Ailsa. She grabbed Simon and began posing next to him. She moved her flimsy dress out of the way of his leg. She knew at the right angle the paps would get a good shot of her knickers.

Guy placed his arm around Ailsa's shoulder and leaned in.

"She is as deep as a teaspoon. She will have photographs of her knickers everywhere tomorrow."

"I never knew she owned a pair." Ailsa added sarcastically.

"Just the one. For show." Guy grinned back at her.

"You going to win tonight Guy?" The entertainment corespondent for the Daily Mail asked. Guy and Ailsa both beamed back at her.

"We are just happy to be here aren't we Ailsa?"

"Hell yes! We can't believe we were nominated and there are such fantastic programs that have been around for ages."

"Someone in your household will win tonight as the bookies have you neck and neck with Simon's Soulcamp."

Ailsa looked thunderous. She had been warned that reporters would try to get her to talk about Simon.

"We believe everyone has an equal chance. Thanks!" Guy answered brightly.

"Let's get you inside before you hit someone." Guy motioned to Ailsa. Ailsa took his hand teetering on heels that Andy had given her. She knew she couldn't walk far or fast in them.

--------------------------------------------

Dame Maggie Smith and Sir Patrick Stewart came into the stage. Ailsa was sat next to Guy. It was their category. The tv cameras swooped up the aisle and got so close that she was sure they could see her nostril hair.

Ailsa grabbed onto Guy's hand. She squeezed so hard that he began to yelp quietly.
"Ailsa it's ok. We aren't going to win. It's ok!"

"I know. It's just terrifying. I hope Simon wins. His speech is really good."

"Have you written one for this?" Guy asked.

"No Sebastian and Sheila have. We just stand at the back and grin apparently." Ailsa breathed a sigh of relief as she explained.

"Thank god. I would probably swear." Guy laughed and squeezed her hand.

Then it happened. There was a roar. Everyone was congratulating them and they were being pushed towards the stage by their team. Ailsa grabbed onto Guy's hand as though it was a life raft. Her large blue skirt hiding her ridiculously high shoes. Then it happened she was being swept up so quickly she lost her shoes. Both of them.

Guy leapt up the stairs towards Patrick Stewart. Ailsa was skidding behind him sliding on the floor in her stockinged feet. Guy stopped. Momentum was with Ailsa. She crashed into Guy who crashed into Patrick Stewart taking him and the podium with him.

They lay on the floor of the Royal Opera House in a heap. The roars of laughter rang in Guy's ears. Sebastian and Sheila were helping them up. No limbs broken just pride dented. He helped right Ailsa onto her feet. He looked at her and she burst into fits of laughter. Patrick laughed. He laughed and rubbed his head.

They were rushed off the stage with Jonathan Ross making a quip about eager beavers and then they were backstage. Backstage with a BAFTA.

Ailsa was trembling from head to foot. Someone had found her shoes and gave them to Guy. Guy spotted a small dressing room and led Ailsa inside. He lifted her on to the table. Ailsa looked up at him smirking.

"That was so shit!" She laughed.

"We will be shown that for ever. We will go viral!"

He placed his forehead on Ailsa's. She looked up and kissed him gently. She took her hands and ran them into his hair. He ran his hands across her back drawing her close to him.

"Leave him. Stay with me." Guy whispered into her ear.

"I think you need to sort Jane out first. Then we can talk about it." Ailsa smiled at him.

"I am going to find her now. Then I will come home to you tonight."

"I will be waiting." Ailsa grinned at him placed her shoes on her feet and sprang out of the door to find Simon.