Ailsa stood inside the reception hall at The Savoy looking for the Mad Cow  Christmas Night shebang.  She had an uncharacteristically short Christopher Kane dress on that showed too much leg for a sober person. She felt her confidence dissipating at the rate of knots. She decided to never take Paul and Andy's fashion advice again. Who listens to two gay men who were currently out in soho dressed in purple leather kilts and orange fun fur tops.

Without her glasses she found it difficult to make out the names on the function board. She squinted and tried her best not to bend over and flash the porters.

"You looking for the Mad Cow do?"  A deep man's voice asked in her ear.

Ailsa spun round to find a very fit looking tall man with long chestnut hair spilling over his  very well built shoulders. His light brown eyes twinkled at her. He had a trendy well kept beard. Man bun beard she heard herself say.  She knew he was well known however she couldn't place him. She had a quick fantasy of him giving her beard burn in her unmentionables and then snapped herself back to reality.

"Yes how do you know?" She smiled at him whilst wracking her brain and chiding herself for not paying more attention at the news desk at work.

"I believe you are my tea time treat Ailsa. I am addicted to city vet. Now tell me is Guy as nice as her appears?"

Ailsa was taken aback. They had only been on screen for a month and this was the first time she had been recognised. By this gorgeous specimen of manhood? Minor celebritydom had its perks.

"Don't worry. You will get used to being recognised. I am Simon from Simon's Soulcamp."

Ailsa slapped herself in the forehead. Of course he was! This was the man who had single handedly ensured that there was not a yoga mat to be had in Britain. Women of all ages were rushing home from work to watch him stretch out and help women all over the country with their body images with yoga and Pilates.

"I am so sorry Simon I just couldn't place you there for a minute. My mum swears that she is losing her bingo wings because of you."

"That is so sweet." He smiled warmly, "can I escort you into the party?"

"Why Mr Darcy I would be humbled."'Ailsa laughed.

Guy was bored. He was a border guard. He was Chris Boredman. Bored to his core. As pretty as Jane was she was equally as vacuous. He was sat next to Jane and the presenter of Mad Cow's 'Dressing for Success' an ex model called Caroline. He knew they were sneaking off for some 'naughty salt'. He wished they would stay in the toilet.

Jane appeared anywhere there was a camera and pulled him into every shot she could. He just wanted a pint of Guinness and one of those lovely sausage rolls that the people from the baking show had made.

He looked up to see Ailsa being escorted in on the arm of that fitness guru. She looked drop dead gorgeous. Her black long sleeved sequinned dress stopping at the part of her thighs that gave way to softness. She had on those heels that he fantasised about. Her hair was in a tight bun that gave her a raunchy secretary look. He was captivated.

Simon brought Ailsa to the table and whispered into her ear. Guy watched as she blushed at whatever he had said. He wanted to stand up and punch his face in.

Ailsa was astonished that Simon had asked her to go back to his so early in the night. She watched as he sat at the next table and proceeded to send the waiter over with ever more beautiful notes of what she could expect if she came to his bed tonight.

Guy thought he was going to grind his teeth to dust as he watched Ailsa become more and more caught up in Simon's attention.

They were all brought to order by Scott Martin the CEO. Scott presented a small film of all of Mad Cow's programmes for the last year intercut with pictures of everyone's family and company nights out and charity work.

Scott was as handsome in real life as he was on TV. A tall imposing Glaswegian. His blue eyes twinkled as he discussed his passion for the company, his friends and his family. He pointed Janice out in the crowd and she waved to everyone looking absolutely impeccable in a dark green Marchesa dress.

Guy gazed at Ailsa as Scott talked about how none of it meant anything without the support and guidance of his life partner. Scott talked about a life shared as a wish he never knew being fulfilled. Somehow Guy understood that. He had been with lots of girls who were lovely and pretty. Meeting someone who could be his best friend and lover was unexpected.

With the speeches over the band took to the stage. Guy went to get a beer at the bar and refresh Jane's glass of champagne. As he nudged to the bar he knocked into Ailsa who was reading one of Simon's notes. It dropped to the floor. As it lay open Guy read the note.

I would worship your womanhood with my lips in a way that you would never want me to release you.

He regarded Ailsa with a raised eyebrow.

"Thanks Guy. If I bent down to pick it up I would flash the old fellas from 'The Allotment Challenge' I think they would need resuscitating." Ailsa took the note from Guy and popped it in her handbag.

"Does it work?" Guy asked motioning to the note in Ailsa's bag.

"Hell yes! It's lovely to be wooed. It's not something I am used to. Turns out I like it."

"I will need to try harder next time." He half joked.

"Yes. Fancy a fuck and Jackie has chucked me are one time only lines." Ailsa stung back.

Guy stood with his mouth open unable to respond.

"Here comes junked up Jane," Ailsa pointed over Guy's shoulder, "have a good night and don't wait up." She wove her way through the crowd towards Simon.

Guy had never been so jealous or lost for words in his entire life. The boyfriend of a supermodel and he would dump her in a minute for Ailsa.

"Guy come over here the lovely photographers from Hello are here and they want a picture of the night." Jane chirped at him. He acquiesced as he scouted the room for someone more famous for Jane to attach herself to with no avail.

He watched as Simon kissed Ailsa's wrist and he guided her out of the room.