Alecia

“Sir, you have a meeting with the board members at three” Napapikit ako ng mariin at naisandal ang ulo sa sandalan ng swivel chair. I just finished attending three long meetings and I'm so drained.

“Clear my schedule. I have to go”

“Okay sir” As soon as my secretary leave I stand up to leave the office and head to the parking lot.

My jaw clenched as I saw our Polaroid picture on my dash and vanity mirror

Fuck! The silence inside my car makes me hear her voice.

I’m getting crazy!

I opened the stereo and focus on driving.

I think that I’ve been missing all the things I didn’t see
Ever since I let you go
Maybe it’s because we always had a good routine
That made us to comfortable

I can’t help but to furrowed my brows as I listen to the lyrics

I miss all the little things
Like how you made me laugh and how you made me feel that
I could go do anything
I believe you, but I need you

I’ve been feeling so alone
God, I miss you more than you could know
Our house doesn’t feel like a home
Ever since I had to let you go

Fucking fuck?....

I’ve been struggling to fight back tears
These 24 months felt like 10 years
Our house doesn't feel like a home
Ever since I had to let you go

Its 24 months now....
Today supposed to be our third anniversary and it’s been two years since....

They say you don't know what you have until it’s gone away
God, they couldn't be more right
There are a lot of things I wish I had the chance to say
I wish I had a little more time

I miss all the little things
Like how you made me laugh and how you made me feel that
I could go do anything
I believe you, but I need you

I’ve been feeling so alone
God, I miss you more than you could know
Our house doesn't feel like a home
Ever since I had to let you go

I’ve been struggling to fight back tears
These 24 months felt like 10 years
Our house doesn’t feel like a home
Ever since I had to let you go

When I had to let you go and walk away
I knew that life would never be the same
I wish that you could just come home
And I’m sorry that I didn’t hug you more
For all the texts that you sent that I ignore
I miss you more than you know

I miss all the little things
Like how you made me laugh and how you made me feel that
I could go do anything
I believe you, but I need you

I’ve been feeling so alone
God, I miss you more than you could know
Our house doesn't feel like a home
Ever since had to let you go

I’ve been struggling to fight back tears
These 24 months felt like 10 years
Our house doesn’t feel like a home
Ever since I had to let you go
Our house doesn't feel like a home
Ever since I had to let you go
Our house doesn't feel like a home
Ever since I had to let you go

Fuck that song! I had to open my stereo to help me not remember her for a while, but fuck!

I just remember the times that she's still with me and that made me miss her more!

I turned off the stereo and continued driving.

I parked my car when I reached my destination and get her favorite flowers at the back seat before I head out.

I’m at the side road where her car fell on the deep water and was found full of bullets on the day of our first anniversary.

My baby... 

Even if everyone’s telling me to move on ‘cause she’s probably gone now, I just can’t. She’ll come back to me. I know. But I can’t stop myself from coming back here.

I chuckled and closed my eyes as I felt the wind blows.

“What do you mean my wife’s missing?” What the fuck? I'm sure she’s at home preparing for our date tonight.

“Lucas her car was found under water and full of bullets but there was no body” I automatically stopped because of what I've heard.

“Asher! What the fuck?! Where’s my wife?! Maybe that’s not hers. Maybe you’re wrong!” I can’t help but to shout at my friend. The thought of my wife being in an accident and suffering is a death of me

“Bro just come over here. I don’t want to believe it as well. We're doing everything we can to find her as fast as we could” I hurriedly go there the moment he gave me the exact location.

Why would she be at that place without telling me? Oh Alessia, please tell me it’s not what I am thinking

My eyes directed to her car as soon as I get to the location. I get out from my car to at least breathe, I feel so suffocated.

“Lucas, this is all the things we found at her car. Her phone and bag are nowhere to be found.  The search operation around the area is still on-going and..... about the investigation, they’re looking at different sides for the possible reasons. You gotta prepare yourself man” I look at the zip locked plastic he was handling to me. I gulped when I saw our picture

So it is real? It’s hers? Why does she have to be at this place? Baby... You’re in a safe place, right? Come back to me and tell me who did this to you. I’ll let them pay!

Inabot ko ang mga gamit ni Alessia at tinungo ang sasakyan niya. I saw bullet holes all over her car and blood stains on her chair

What the fuck?! I wanted to scream but the thought of losing her makes me weak. I can't utter a simple word. I just found myself standing and looking at our picture.

I called her family to let them know what happened to her, so I guess they'll be here any minute now.

I am listening and talking to the investigators when I heard her mom's voice

“Lucas, w-what happened.... What happened to our Klerah?” she’s crying so hard and I could see the anger at Papa’s face but he's so busy calming his wife

“M-ma, the investigation is still on going and I... I d-don’t know how e-everything happened. I thought she's at home. I’m sorry" I can't look at them. I’m such a useless husband!

Her brother gave me a real hard punch. Yeah, maybe I deserve that

“Sorry?! Why would my sister go somewhere without telling you? Huh? We all know she always update you in everything. You must have done something to her that makes her ran away!” Fuck! What must have I done Alessia? We’re fine just before I go to work

“Keane!” Mama followed him when he walked out from us

“Hijo, don’t worry we won’t blame you for this. I know this is hard for you as well. I am just controlling my anger for the sake of my wife. But, please do everything to find our Klerah. I c-can’t afford to lose my daughter like this” I saw his bloodshot eyes shifted to the car

“They want her dead. It’s visible just by looking at her car. Do you have any idea who could possibly do that?” that's what I am thinking since I saw her car’s state and talked to the investigators. Could it be a mistaken identity?

I clenched my jaw with that thought and I can feel the anger rushing to me again.

“Wala pa po. I can’t think of anyone..... even on my field. I’m really sorry. I p-promised I’ll take care of her but... I f-failed” he tapped my shoulder

“Hijo I know and see how much you love my daughter. You take care of her more than we do. Don’t blame yourself, its Klerah’s action that leads to this. Let’s just hope that she’s not yet g-gone to let us all know what really happened”

I nodded my head at napatulala na lang sa kawalan. Mamaya maya ay nagpaalam sa akin si papa dahil may kakausapin daw siya na pwedeng makatulong sa paghahanap kay Alessia.

My family and our friends are calling me but I don’t have time to answer all of them. I just answered my mom and Averill’s call to give them updates. Si Asher na ang nag update sa ibang kaibigan namin dahil kinakausap ko pa ang mga investigator at nakatoka sa search operation.

“Sir, we have to stop for now dahil gumagabi na but our mens will stand by here” I nod my head as a response.

“Lucas, anak uuwi na muna kami. Ikaw ba? Magpahinga ka na muna” sabi sa akin ni mama. How can I? I can't be settled without her in my arms. Without knowing how is she. She gets hungry easily, how would she eat?

“Uuwi po muna ako. I have to check on something. I’ll go back here to get updates again. Mag ingat po kayo sa pag uwi”

“Ikaw rin. Wag mong pagurin ng sobra ang sarili mo Lucas, magagalit si Klerah” I smiled at Papa. Her mad face whenever I tire myself too much for work comes back to my memory. Damn! I miss her

He tapped my shoulder tsaka pumasok na sila ni Mama sa sasakyan habang naiwan si Keane sa harap ko

“I’m sorry” I said

“I won’t say sorry for punching you kuya” I chuckled and looked at him before I shifted my sight to the ocean

“Just like my Alessia.... You’re really siblings” I heard him chuckled

“She’s my ate so, I saw how strong she is as a woman. I sometimes wonder if she’s really a girl or what”

“Same. I just hope and pray that she fight for her life this time”

“I punched you.... because of the thought that you probably hurt her. Ate Klerah can’t swim - no, she actually do but she gets paranoid easily, that’s why I’m worried a lot and couldn’t think straight. Ate would probably get mad at me when she knew that I punched you” He really do love and care for her sister kahit pa madalas silang magka-asaran

“She’ll understand and I deserved that punched Keane. Take care of your parents for now, I’ll do everything to bring her back” he nodded to me and I tapped his shoulder before motioning him to their car.

I stayed for a couple of minutes before going home... It's not a home without her.

While driving I'm thinking of the possible person or people who could do that to her. Why my Alessia?

Malaman ko lang kung sino ang gumawa non sakanya, sisiguraduhin kong pagbabayaran nila lahat. I won't let them get away from it. Nagkamali sila ng taong binangga.

“What?” tamad kong tanong kay Griffin the moment I answered his call

“I heard about what happened to your wife bro. How are you?”

“Not fine of course, idiot”

“Sweet. You seem fine. You can talk to me like that”

“Fuck yourself Griffin!”

“No thanks. But bro, just tell us if you need anything. I’ll stand by our mens, in case”

“Thanks Griffin. I’ll call you” I ended the call as I enter the parking lot of my house

I stopped and closed my eyes when I remember that Alessia's not around.

I saw our large canvas wedding photo when I got to the living room. How can I greet you a Happy Birthday and Happy First Anniversary to us when you’re not here baby... Please come back. I’ll always wait for you.

I go to our room hoping that she's there sleeping soundly but when I opened the door, no one’s there.

The room smells like her. I always love her milk and strawberry scent. She’s like a baby.
I took a bath first and will take a nap before I go back to the location.

I smell her pillow and hug it tightly. She’s my calmness, she’s my home and I feel so empty now. Hinayaan kong tumulo ang mga luha na kanina ko pa pinipigilan

It feels like I am so powerless. My connections can’t even help to find her.

I woke up early to get an update. I am at the living room when I saw the CCTV..... I hurriedly view the footages. I observe her actions maybe I can get a lead.

She was happily eating and watching at the living room before she went to our room. After a while she went out dressed and used the elevator to go down. She looked at her phone and her face suddenly crumpled. I stop the video to zoom in and see what is it but her phone's brightness was too low. But, I could say that it’s a photo sent to her.

I could see the anger at her face and I can feel how tight she was holding her phone.

Who the fuck made my baby so angry?!

She went out from the elevator and hurriedly goes to the parking lot; she used the car that was found yesterday.

Where are you going, baby?

I copied all of it to let the investigators see. I viewed the previous footages to see if that's the first time but I'm surprised that few days ago I saw the same reaction she had on the elevator but she calmed herself before typing.

Who was it?! 

I copied it again tsaka nag punta na sa location.

When I get there, I saw Prim, Wella, Drew and Keane.

“Kuya”

“Sila mama?”

“Susunod na lang daw sila mama”

“I’ll talk to the investigators first, I take a look at our CCTV before going here and I saw something”

“What is it? Can we come with you?” Drew asked. I just nodded my head to them as a response. I'm actually shocked that they don't say anything or blame me for what happened.

“Asher”

“Why bro?” he looked at me while sipping his coffee

“I saw CCTV footages at my house, maybe it can help” I handed the flashdrive and he immediately do something to view the footages.

Alessia's cousins and brother watched it as well. Asher zoomed in to see the photo sent to her but it wasn't clear

“Who the hell made my ate angry like that?!” Keane lashed out, he balled his fist while still watching the footages

“Yeah right. She’s angry for real and she’s not nice when she’s in that state” Prim added

“Heck! I wanna know what’s the picture sent to her. Klerah’s not the type of person who gets angry easily” I agree to what Wella said. The picture triggered Alessia so much!

“That actually happened first. That was two days ago before the accident. She never told me anything about it” tukoy ko sa huling footage na kinopya ko kanina.

“Fuck! This could be easy if we just have her phone but there was no phone on the car, even her bag”

“She doesn’t usually take her sling bag off from her even when driving” Her cousins looked at me

“You really observed anything about her” said by Drew while shaking his head and smiling

“I’ll be more proud if I observed this shit before” We all suddenly sighed and look at the screen

“Bro, do you have any idea why and how Klerah got here? The road is actually used frequently and only those who have a private property ang tagos nitong daan.”
Kahapon ko pa talaga iniisip dahil wala naman akong property na dito ang daan. Maging siya walang nababanggit

“We actually have a... property” Gulat kaming napalingon kay Prim. Nagkatinginan lang sila ni Wella

“What?! You have what?” Drew asked. Looks like he doesn't know as well

“Uhm... It’s our secret island. Dito ang daan non at madalas lang kaming tatlo pumunta doon kapag gusto namin mag bonding. Pag mag isa naman, madalas we wanted to breathe. That’s our safe haven. Maybe Klerah wanted to breathe. Maybe she’s too suffocated and wanted to think first. We promised not to tell anyone about it”

“Maybe ate’s there! We should –”

“We’ve been there as soon as we heard what happened and we stayed overnight... Hoping that she’s just there but there was no Klerah there”

Nakapameywang akong napatingala at naipikit ang mga mata. Everything is so frustrating!

Why would she run away? Who’s the person contacting her? What really happened Alessia? What’s going on?

Days turned into months.... It’s been five months but Alessia’s nowhere to be found. Her family decided to stop the search operation and I was mad about that at first.

“Hijo, they tried their best to find Klerah. I guess we have to stop finding her now...here”

“What? M-ma, are you giving her up?” Umiling lang si mama at yumuko ng bahagya

“I love my daughter so much, Lucas. She’s our first angel. But, you see? She was nowhere to be found, we even hired the best divers, we looked for her to the whole place even the near houses here but there was no trace of her. I am hoping that someone helped her. I know she will help herself as well, I didn't named her Alessia for nothing” I gave mama a questioning look but she just smiled at me

“I didn’t tell them how we got their names. They just thought that Alessia and Alexus came from my name, Alexis. But, they don’t know our names means helper and defender... I am really obsessed with name meanings and when I saw those two names, I didn’t had a second thought to named them that” I smiled and just chuckled when I remember how many times I see her help other people and how she defend herself to me or to anyone.

“Does Klerah have a meaning too?”

“It supposed to be Kerah; it means sacred bells but Kleio wanted to make it Klerah.... I don’t know why but, I never feel that Klerah’s gone. I believe in my daughter, hijo. I guess she has her plans. She’ll come back to us and let’s pray that it will be so soon”

God, please... lead her feet back to us. To her home, I beg you

“I’ll still try to look for her mama” mama stared at me for a while before smiling at me

“Thank you for loving and taking care of Klerah so much, anak”

“She deserved that”

The next day, I go back to work already. I let my brother took care of it while I was busy finding her.

I busied and drowned myself to work. I go home late and sometimes I’ll just stay here in my office since I have a bedroom here. I tried my best not to remember her most of the times but I can feel that I am not myself since....

“Yow bro!” napahilot ako sa sentido ko nang makita si Griffin na pumasok sa opisina ko

“Anong kailangan mo?” Umupo siya sa single chair na nasa harap ng table ko. Inusog pa palapit para lang maipatong ang paa sa lamesa. Gago talaga

“Do you know that Alecia’s back?” What?!

Tumayo na ako at handa nang umuwi

“The first Alecia in your life, I mean” kunot noo ko siyang binalingan.

What the fuck?!

“Come again?”

“Bro, I’m sorry to disappoint you. I am just informing you that you’re bitch ex fiancé is back now” sabi niya na prente pa ring naka upo

“I don’t care about her. That was a long time ago. The only Alessia that I want is my wife” I sat on my chair again and massaged my forehead

“It seems like she’s not yet over you. She told me that both of you met five fucking months ago”

“What the fuck?!”

“I know. She even told me that she’ll win you back. Like she’s really sure and confident” Napailing na lang ako dahil sa mga naririnig

“There’s no way that I’ll go back to her”

“That’s what I told her but she just shrugged her shoulders at me and said ‘oh his fake wife’s gone now’ and I was like what the hell?! Bro tell me your marriage with the second Alessia is not fake!”

Fake?! I did everything to make sure that Alessia, my wife won't have any chance to leave me.

“Our marriage is real and existing idiot!”

“You’re really whipped by her”

“Oh shut up”

Umayos siya ng upo at sumeryoso bigla ang mukha

“Look Lucas, the second Alessia who happened to be your wife now is missing and then suddenly the first Alecia who happened to be your supposed to be wife is back.” He shrugged his shoulder and looked at painting near my room door

“I just sense something I can’t explain”

I stilled and can’t take my eyes off to the painting. Even my wife looked at that painting a lot and she will always tell me that it looks familiar

“Do you think that hell of my ex has something to do with what happened to Alessia?”

“I’m not sure bro.... But what if she has?” I balled my fist and clenched my jaw. I won't give mercy to her if she does something to hurt my wife

“I’ll turn her life into hell. I’ll make sure of that!”

“We need to make sure bro. Let’s make a plan and let her taste her own medicine. Whatchuthink bro? I know I’m really brainy” I throw the pen I saw in my table at him

“Fuck yourself Griffin!”

“Oh no thanks. I have lots of woman to do that for me. Wanna have some?” Fuck! That’s it! I get up and about to throw my swivel chair at him when Asher came in

“Yow! You’re playing?” asked by another idiot

“Wanna join? It’s called kill the idiots game” I answered

“No fucking way, I’m not an idiot”

“Oh? Since when?” Asher threw a punch at Griffin but the idiot ran away as soon as he saw his fist

“Fucker!”

“Hey eggheads!” I sighed as I saw Maddox came in. Why are they here?

“Oh, another idiot is in the hauz! Witiwitiwiw!” I badly wanted to throw a punch to Griffin every time he does that sound effect

“Hey hey hey hey! It’s an honour to be here. But you’re an egghead and the idiot of all idiots Griffin. No one can defeat you” Griffin showed his middle fingers to Maddox but Maddox just laughed at him and sat down

“What are you doing here, Asher and Maddox?”

“You’re one hell of a bestfriend called me and told me we have something important to talk to” Asher pointed Griffin as he sat down beside Maddox

“Same”

My brows furrowed and looked at Griffin who’s wiggling his brows

“You did that?”

“Yeah. You don’t need to thank me, bro”

“I don’t have a plan to thank you tho” he gave me a face and then sat on the chair beside Asher

“Man! Let’s have a truce! Come on!” I laughed a bit when I saw how hopeless Griffin was, when Asher locked up his head on his arms

“So, what are we gonna do with you ex?” Asher asked

I spent my whole day talking to the two idiots and settled a plan. I just hope that this time, we can get a lead to at least have an answer to every question in our mind

I opened my eyes as I sat down to place the bouquet of flowers to the ground.

Hey, Alessia... If you’re just hiding to us, it’s been a long time baby. Come back home, now