Let's make it real

Lucas and I both decided to have a morning wedding so I woke up early and did the things I needed to do before they start doing my hair and make-up.

I was taken aback when my favorite breakfast, bouquet of my favorite flowers, a handwritten letter and a gift from him were delivered to my room.

I know that we'll be having an exchange gift that's why I prepared one for him too. I don't know what to give him at first since he already had everything, I think. That's why I just decided to paint him. I borrowed his phone so I can look for pictures I can paint and there, I saw his picture with his Exelero nung bagong bili pa yata. I immediately took a picture of it para gawing gayahan ko. I also made a mini painting of us. I used the picture we had on our engagement announcement. I just added a handwritten letter for him there to explain why I gave him those.

I opened his gift and it is a Polaroid camera with lots of films! I smiled widely when it's not jewelry just like the usual gift of a groom to his bride. I remember that he given me a letter so I read it.

'Hey my Alessia. My baby.

I don't want to give you more jewelry so I bought you this Polaroid camera that I know you always wanted. I saw you looking at this in some online shops and whenever we're going to the mall. I want you to remember that I gave this camera to you as a gift not only because you want it, but to let you know that I want to see you exploring things and your creativity. I want you to express yourself more by your subjects and I want us to capture our moments together with this, baby. I'm excited to see you in your dress, my baby'

My jaw dropped after I read his letter. What the fudge?! Why does he have to be like this to me? Alam kong hulog na ako pero mukhang may mas ihuhulog pa nga talaga ako. At wala akong idea kung sasaluhin ba niya ako o sasabay siyang mahulog o baka naman itinutulak niya lang ako at titignan lang na lumagapak ako.

I finished my breakfast and all the things I had to do just on time. This time, I'm already having my hair and make-up. My families and friends are visiting me here in my room and even Lucas' relatives and friends are going here just to congratulate me and asked how I was doing. I can also see the happiness and excitement on everyone's faces.

The photographer and videographer are taking shots and videos of us to capture every moments and I could say that I became excited as well when everything sinks in to me. I am getting married! I disregarded the truth for a while and had a talk to myself. I shouldn't ruin this day. I should be happy just like how everyone is.

After a long time of doing my hair and make-up, I am now wearing my dress and they even made me wear a really high heels dahil magaan lang naman daw yung damit ko. Talagang kulang na lang isampal nila sa akin na ang pandak ko.

When I'm all set, I go out to have our photoshoot. Lucas and I never had a pre wedding photoshoot and will never have a first look. After wedding na lang daw

During the shoot with my families and friends, I had a video call with Eloah. Everything went smoothly and I can't believe that now, they are retouching my look because in no time I have to be on my bridal car.

I could say that I am feeling nervous, excited, happy and worried at the same time. So this is the feeling of getting married?..... I chuckled to myself because of the thought. I bet the feelings would be beyond ecstatic when this is real.

For the past months that I am living with him, my feelings grow while I don't have a slightest idea how he really feels about me. I never have the courage to ask him about his actions towards me because I'm scared. Scared that I will be dissapointed and hurt by his answers

Soon, this marriage will just be a memory to me... to us. Baka matawa na lang ako whenever this moment will come into my mind. I'll be reminded of the outcome of my 'katangahan moments'. The first person that I let to come in into my life will also be the first person that will break me.

I don't know how I ended up having feelings with him. I guess marupok talaga ako. Maybe, I became a slave of my own self who's looking for affection, love and care from a person that is not a family or friend I can call of.

Well, it's really hard to stop the feelings you had for someone especially when your mind and heart differs. It never synchronized. The more I wanted to distance myself from him, the more he'll push his self to me. My mind says I shouldn't but my heart says just go with it.

It's funny how my mind contradicts the actions that my heart's desire and my body's response towards him. I even let him touched me and kiss me when in fact, my mind is telling me the other way around.

Is it possible? Ugh! Love's really a pain in the ass.

I should have known better from the beginning. I don't even know why there's this wedding. Is he forced? Just like what I read and watched sometimes? They were forced so their family can give their shares or something?

If that's the case, then maybe everything he did to me was indeed an act and what we can call a bonus. It's like I purchase my own karma but it has a bonus for me to feel more what I had purchased.

But, I want to keep what I purchased. It's mine now. I should take a hold on it. Tightly

"Ma'am, let's go" said by the organizer wearing her happy and excited smile to me. I nodded my head and take a deep breath before I stand up and walk.

When I go out I saw my families and friends again. My mama can't keep herself from crying and that makes me laugh real hard.

I was motioned to enter the car together with mama while the others go to their cars as well and headed to the venue. I'm still thankful that we wouldn't be married in a church because it would be more and more difficult to say lies.

It's not a long way drive since their mansion is not that far to the venue. When we leave, I saw people organizing the event hall there since the reception will be held to their property.

While inside the car, I had a talk to my mama. She never failed to tell me how this day would really mean to me. Now, this day will be a double celebration for me.

"Ma'am, let's get you ready for your walk" again, I nodded my head. I came out from the car and I could feel my knees weakened due to the nervousness I am feeling. I waited for some seconds before I come out from the decorated wall. I am positioned in the very start of the isle I have to walk to. They fixed my dress first and when I'm ready, I started walking alone.

My eyes wandered for a while and looked for him. I saw him dashing in his attire. A dark grey suit, white button down dress shirt inside with a navy blue tie looks good on him. We chose the combination of navy blue, white, peach and peach echo as a motif color.

I smiled as I saw his mouth parted, shocked when he saw me and I badly wanted to laugh at him when his jaw clenched for a bit but smiled at me sweetly afterwards. His eyes never leave a sight of me even if his friends are talking to him.

Nakarating naman ako sa pwesto nila mama na nag aantay sa akin para mailakad ako hanggang sa kanya. I can feel their tight holds to me as if they don't want to let go of me and give me to him.

Same. I don't want him to be fully responsible to me; the person who supposed to be not in his life.

I erased that thought from my head. I bow down and look at the bouquet of flowers I am holding for a little while. I look at the side and saw my friends, I gave them a smile. I look at him again, surprised that he's looking at me so intently. If everything is real, I could say he's definitely in love and head over heels at me. I chuckled lightly as we stare at each other. It's like we're having a secret connection through our eyes.

I was so lost when our eyes met to the point that I haven't notice that we're near to his place.

His parents hug me as he did the same to mine.
"Take care of my unica hija. Lucas" my papa told him and patted his shoulder. I saw his bloodshot eyes that made me laugh and hug him.

"Love her as much as we do hijo. We trust you" said by mama this time and the tears I am holding showed right after I heard what my mama said.

Loving me probably won't come into his mind.
"I surely will Tita, Tito" he replied as he took my hand from my parents

"Call us Mama and Papa now, Lucas" he nodded smilingly and looked at me. I raised my eyebrow to him and supposed to talk when I heard his mom

"Us too, Klerah. Call us Mommy and Daddy!" His mom excitedly told me that made me laugh but just nodded. I saw his siblings cheerfully looking at us. Speaking of sibling, I just had a small talk with my brother a while ago when he congratulate me and greeted me a happy birthday and when he stayed to my room to look for me while I was having a make-over. Tsk ayaw lang sabihin na mamimiss niya ang ate niya na single!

"Happy Birthday, Alessia. You're so pretty and... hot today" I looked at the man who whispered at me. I can feel my cheeks blushing

"Thank you and I know" I playfully winked at him na ikinatawa naman niya. He held my hand as he helped me to walk comfortably towards in front of the altar.

The priest smiled at us before he started

"We are gathered here today to celebrate one of life's greatest moments, and to cherish the words which shall unite Lucas and Klerah in marriage."

The priest looked at Lucas and I before he continued

"Marriage is the promise between two people who love each other, and who trust in that love, who honor each other as individuals and who choose to spend the rest of their lives together."

I felt a lump in my throat when I heard those words and it feels like those words punched my whole face.

Marriage was never in my top priority before. I just graduated and still working for myself when tables suddenly turned. Who would have thought that the man I accidentally saw in the restroom and the owner of the car I painted on is the same? I don't know if it's the fate who played on me or it is destined to happen for me to realize that everything won't happen according to my plan. There will be a person or people who will come into your life that will make the tables turned upside down. There will be actions you'll make that will serves you a lesson and maybe regrets... but there shouldn't be a room of regrets in your life. It's supposed to be just acknowledge it, learn from it and make it as your guide the next time you make choices, decisions and actions.

"Do you Lucas take Klerah to be yours?" I looked at him as I heard the priest and he's looking at my eyes directly.

"I do"

"Do you Klerah take Lucas to be yours?" I smiled at Lucas first

"I do"

The priest asked for our rings and I haven't had a slightest idea what it looks like. Ugh! I'm such a terrible bride in this time. I'm not even the one who do the planning and when I asked Lucas about the rings he said he made it personalized.

I look at the rings and both of it are gold micro pave wedding bands the difference is that mine's coated with diamonds on its band while his is all plain.

I wonder what the customized part is....

"Lucas, please place this ring on Klerah's finger and say your vow"

"It has my name on it marking me as yours and it has a button for you to hear my recorded heartbeat when I'm looking at you sleeping so sweetly and soundly next to me" He whispered to me as he put the ring to my finger. My jaw literally dropped. What the? I just let him sleep at my side last night, how come?

He cleared his throat as he holds my hand before he finally says his vow.

"My baby, your shocked reaction during our first encounter comes back to my memories all the time like, it just happened yesterday. You're the only woman who can hurt me real good with that height of yours. You're the only one who can make my expensive car as your own kind of an art pad" I pouted when he paused just to laugh and looked at his friends whose laughing so hard as well. Did they know?

"You're my boss baby. You always make sure that you'll win in every argument we have. But, there are lots of qualities of you that I admire and I know I can't live now without you in my life. Nasanay na akong nasa tabi kita. I did things that I don't think I could do. You tried my patience a lot. Like a lot! You made me discover the long patience I thought I don't have. Alessia, I promise to honor and care for you, to encouraged you for your own fulfillment as an individual, to provide for you, to be your strength. I promise to work on myself to be the best husband you could ask for. I need you in my life, baby. You're what I asked for; the only woman I wanted to spend my whole life with and to be the mother of my soon to be children. I love you, my very own Alessia"

There's a tear that falls from my eye and I quickly wiped it and gave him a genuine smile. I don't know why but when I heard his vow, there's something in me that wanted to believe and keep on holding. I don't care if it's just an act and another lies anymore.

"Klerah please place this ring on Lucas' finger and say your vow"

I took the ring and look at it. It has my name and there's a button that you couldn't almost see. I glanced at him and put the ring on his finger

I breathed deeply first

"I unexpectedly met you and I could say our encounters are not that good. I remember how I dislike you at the same time compliment you inside my head when you first talked to me. You came into my life and just ruin all my plans just for you to accomplish your own plans. I used to regret the things I did that made me lead to you but who would thought that those regretful moments I had and did would be the reason for this unforgettable moments we are having now. You take care of me and spoil me in every possible way. You made me laugh and cry. You made me frustrated most of the times but it's you whom I am looking for from here and then. It's only you who can make me feel this way and can give me foreign feelings. Lucas, I vow to you that I will be with you in every step you'll take from now on, I vow to listen to you" I smiled at him and wiggled my eyebrows that made everyone and him laugh.

"I vow to never leave you and try my hardest to understand and make you remember moments like this when things get blurred and dark between us. From now on, I'll work not only for my own self but to be the wife and future mother I could possibly be. I love you Lucas, more than you could've imagine"

I saw his bloodshot eye staring right back at me that makes me wonder how true that emotion is.

"By the power vested in me, I pronounce you Husband and Wife. Please seal your love with a kiss." I heard cheers and claps from the guests but I don't have a chance to look at them when my eyes were too lost with his.

Lucas started rolling my veil and when he already put it on the back, he mouthed 'I love you' and his hands stay on the middle of my cheek and neck. He claimed my mouth in no time that makes the guests cheered more. His kisses were gentle unlike on what we shared before. I thought it's just a short kiss when he let go but he attack my mouth again and give me a passionate kiss. I was about to pull out from the kiss but he did it first and just kiss my forehead before we faced the guests.

As what is planned, we are now having our photo shoot. We had some with our families, friends and guests a while ago before we head out. The guests are now probably on their way to the reception.

Lucas and I just laughed during the photo shoot and I thought there would be no good photos but I am surprised that I'll love almost all the shots we had. He's now talking to the printing press on what would be framed and put into a canvass printing. He said he wanted to display all of them to his house so I just let him.

I am looking at the scenic view when he appeared in front of me and encircled his arms to my waist.

"Hungry?" I actually forgot about it but now that he asked me, I think I suddenly feel the hunger.

"Yeah"

"Let's go" he held my hand while we walk.
Hanggang makasakay kami ng sasakyan ay makarating sa bahay nila ay hawak pa rin niya ang kamay ko.

When we arrived we were announced as newlyweds, had a toast, cake cutting and they made me blow the candle for the cake they prepared for my birthday. Happy 24th, self!

Now, we are told to have our First Dance. We actually practiced for this dance because of Marion, Lucas' cousin who happened to be a gay dance instructor. He really forced us to practice and we just agreed to him since we don't have anything to do. We actually enjoyed rin naman.

I smiled when I heard the sound of the piano, I saw Asher ready to sing the song Lucas' picked. Asher is one of his best friends.

He placed my arms to his nape and his both hands are on my waist. We swayed slowly, feeling every moment.

I used to think that this was something that would drive a man crazy
Now lookin' back it's kinda clear I needed someone who would step in and save me
Unwilling to trust, I guess I was lost I thought it didn't exist
Uncovered my eyes, my vision's so clear and I could not resist

His smile never leaves his face as his eyes on me.

You are the one, where I belong
And I don't need to play 'cause I've already won with you
You can dive right in cause I'll never give up on you

I let out a giggle when he sings in habang ipinagdikit ang mga noo namin

Running round running wild thinking nothing could tame me
But all I needed was a little time maybe just a little persuading
Definition of beautiful, so wonderful don't change
Now I'm willing to trust so let me get lost in you

You are the one, where I belong
And I don't need to play cause I've already won with you
You can dive right in cause I'll never give up on you

It's you
It's you
It's you
Only you

You are the one, all that I want
Now you know how I feel when the words get in the way
You can dive right in knowing that I'm gonna keep you safe
It's you

The guests clap their hands as they shout cheers for us once we finished our dance but Lucas enveloped me into a tight hug and whisper

"Baby.... Let's make this marriage work. Let's make it real" He said

I looked at him with my jaw dropped. I am surprised not only by what he said but by what his eyes are showing me.

I was lost for a while but came back to my normal state when I felt his lips landed to my temple. I nodded my head to him as a response and that's when I saw a genuine happiness to his face again.