Want, Need and Stay

I gave him his coat bago kami pumasok dahil sayang naman ang details nitong dress ko lalo na yung criss – cross strap ko sa likod. Ayaw pa niyang tanggapin nung una at tinaliman pa ako ng tingin. Nung ihuhulog ko na lang sana sa sahig agad naman niyang inagaw sa akin. Akala mo ha! 

Kahit naman maliit ako I can pull off this kind of dress no! sinasabayan ko naman siya ng lakad dahil nakapulupot ang isa niyang braso sa waist ko. Nagpalinga linga ako at tinignan ang buong paligid, it’s a mansion!

Namamangha talaga ako sa laki at ganda nang mapagtanto ko kung gaano kalaki at kalawak ang connection ng isang ‘to. Well, isa ang pamilya nila sa may pinaka malaking business inside and outside the country.

Hay sige na! aamin na ako. Mahirap nga talaga ako. Grabe, parang sinasampal ako nitong mansion ng katotohanan

“Hijo! My Lucas!” napatingin naman ako sa narinig kong pambabaeng boses. Nakita kong papalapit ang isang nasa around fifty’s na siguro ang age pero hindi mahahalata dahil sobrang ganda pa rin niya

“Mom” my eyes widened dahil nanay niya ‘to?! Weeeeh? Baka issa prank! Umisang hakbang naman ako patalikod dahil bigla akong nakaramdam ng hiya at kaba

Yumakap siya sa anak at dumako ang tingin sa akin na nginitian ko naman
“Is it her, Lucas?” He asked his son nang humiwalay siya sa pagkakayakap. Masaya niya naman akong tinignan

“Yes mom, this is Klerah Alessia” sabi niya habang pinapadausdos ang bisig sa baywang ko. Nagtataka ako sa pinag uusapan nila. Kilala ba niya ako? Oh no! Baka alam niya na ako ang humalay sa sasakyan ng anak niya

I composed myself first. Wag ka magpahalata Klerah!

“Hello po, nice to meet you po” I offered a handshake pero binalewala niya lang ito at niyakap ako. I stilled for a moment pero ginantihan ko rin ang yakap niya.

Why is she acting like this? Ganito ba siya sa lahat ng maisasama ni Lucas sa mga event?

“Oh hija! It’s nice to finally meet you. I’m Laura, his mother” sabi niya pagka hiwalay sa akin at may malapad na ngiti sa mga labi

What is she talking about? I look at Lucas pero may kausap na siyang isang lalaki na kapatid niya yata dahil may pagkaka hawig sila. Ang masasabi ko lang ay ang gaganda ng genes nila dahil ang popogi at ganda ng mga kinalabasan. Tignan mo nga naman oh hindi ako makapili kung sino ang mas pogi

Napansin niya yatang napatingin ako sakanila kaya iniabot niya ang kamay sa akin
“Hi, I’m Larkin”

“Klerah. Nice to meet you” sabi ko habang nakangiti nang abutin ang kamay niya 

“Kuya!” I heard a girl voice again at nakita kong may yumakap kay Lucas, maybe that’s his sister. Ilan ba silang magkakapatid?

Natanaw ko naman ang isang lalaking maganda ang tindig na lumapit kay Ma’am Laura at nasa likod nito si Doc. Laureen. Is this a mini family reunion? Don’t tell me yung mag ce-celebrate ng anniversary ay…. parents niya?

They are looking at me with a wide smile on their faces. Si Ma’am Laura naman ay may ibinubulong sa asawa niya at napapahagikgik pa. awwww what a cute couple! Full of love. Sana all

“Hi! We just saw each other yesterday. Hindi mo naman nabanggit na isasama ka ni Lucas ngayon sa wedding anniversary ng parents namin” sabi ni Doctora pagkalapit at yakapin ako ng bahagya. Nalaman ko lang kahapon na chinika pala nila Eloah sa kanya  na boyfriend ko ang kapatid niya. Haaaay mga sakit sa ulo. Baka nabanggit na ni Doctora sakanila kaya siguro ganito sila makitungo sa akin

“Kanina lang po talaga niya ako sinabihan Doc.” nahihiya kong sabi. Hindi naman ako prepared na meet the family pala ito. Parang damang dama ko yung pawis sa likod ko kahit na naka backless ako at malamig ang paligid

“Ano ka ba! call me ate Laureen. Girlfriend ka naman ni Lucas” Napansin ko naman na nakatuon ang atensiyon nilang lahat sa akin. Tumango na lang ako at ngumiti

Pa ngiti ngiti lang ako pero grabe na yung tibok ng puso ko

“Hi ate! I’m Lirah. You’re so gorgeous!” nginitian ko siya

“Hi! Thank you. I’m Klerah” She smiled at me sweetly tsaka tumaas ang kilay kay Lucas

“By the way hija, this is my husband and their father Rylan” He gladly offered a handshake to me

“Nice to meet you po sir. Happy anniversary rin po sainyo” I said as I accept the handshake

“Nice to meet you too hija. Please call us Tito and Tita” ngiti at tango na lang ang naiganti ko sa kanilang mag asawa. Nag paalam naman sila sa amin dahil magsisimula na ang event. Ang mga kapatid naman niya ay nauna nang naglakad papunta sa pwesto nila

Wala sa sarili kong binalingan si Lucas

“Are you okay?” tinignan ko siya ng matalim tsaka palihim na kinurot sa tagiliran

“Walanghiya ka! Hindi mo man lang ako sinabihan na parents mo pala ang may anniversary!”pabulong kong sigaw sakanya.

He laughed and shrugged his shoulder
Ipinaghila naman niya ako ng upuan nang makarating kami sa table kung saan naroon din ang mga kapatid niya. Umupo siya sa right side ko habang si Lirah naman ang nasa left ko.

Nakinig at nanood lang ako sa mga nangyayari sa harap ko. Nang magsawa akong manahimik dinaldal ko si Lucas at napag alaman ko kanina na parehas twenty eight years old si kuya Larkin at ate Laureen dahil kambal sila. Lucas is twenty six while Lirah is nineteen.

“Alam ni ate Laureen na boyfriend kita. Aware ka ba na alam niya?” pabulong kong tanong sa kanya at tamad lang siyang tumango sa akin

“What?! At wala lang sayo? Bakit kasi naisipan mong sabihin na boyfriend kita e” pasimple ko na siyang inaaway dahil hindi ko na talaga alam kung anong plano ng isang ‘to
He sighed as he lean on me more. I can feel his breath near my ear

“You’ll be more surprised later” he sexily whispered to my ears. Ay bakit ganon siya bumulong? Parang may mali!

But! What is he talking about? I looked at him with furrowed eyebrows

“My parents will announce our engagement later, I–”

“W-what?!” Medyo napalakas ang boses ko kaya napatingin sa akin ang mga kapatid niya. I gave them an apologetic smile and face this man beside me

“Is this your plan from the very beginning? Ito na ba yung paniningil mo?” I’m really mad at him right now! Kaya pala noon pa niya binabanggit yung word na kasal at wife. Masyado lang akong tanga para hindi mapansin

“Look Alessia, I’ll explain to you later but for now I need you to act” ACT. I should have known that every nice thing he did was all an act.

Nakatingin lang ako sa kamay ko na nasa lap ko. I saw my ring.

My promise ring

I have a promise to myself! But……

I dragged myself into this mess

Just because of my reckless actions and indecisive decisions

Gusto kong maiyak sa sobrang sama ng loob! Sino ba naman ang gugustuhin na ma engaged na lang basta basta? This isn’t the engagement I am dreaming of!
Tsaka talagang itong promise ring ko pa ang naging engagement ring?!

Sa engagement ba talaga masama ang loob mo Klerah?

Baka naman dahil umasa ka na totoo ang mga pinapakita niya sayo?

Baka hindi mo lang matanggap at hindi mapasok pasok sa utak mo na planado ang lahat at umaarte lang siya sa mga pinapakita niya habang magkasama kayo?

Fuck! I thought I already did my best para hindi siya makapasok sa puso ko but I guess he shattered the wall already. Hindi ko lang napapansin at baka dahil pilit ko lang na itinatanggi.

“Waaaah ate! Engaged na pala kayo ni kuya!” I woke up from my reverie when Lirah get my left hand at tinitignan ang singsing ko

Engaged my ass! That’s my promise ring

I look at her and just smiled lightly. Hindi ko makuhang ngumii ng katulad kanina, parang bumagsak lahat ng energy ko

“Go na ate! Punta na kayo ni kuya sa stage. Kung di pa inannounce yung engagement niyo ngayon di pa namin malalaman” I look around at puro sila mga nakatingin sa amin inaantay na tumayo kami

They announced it already? What the heck! I was so lost with my thoughts

Tinignan ko si Lucas na inaantay naman ang gagawin ko. He seems so worried. Well, I guess he’s worried that I won’t act well just like what he wanted

I sigh and compose myself
I nod at him at sabay kaming tumayo. Pinadausdoss naman niya ang braso niya sa baywang ko at hinapit ako mas palapit sa kanya. I cleared my throat before I flashed a big smile. I made sure that it won’t look faked. I’m used to this! I’m used of flashing a genuine smile even when I’m not genuinely happy

Nang makarating kami sa stage sinalubong kami ng parents niya at nakipag beso sa amin. Ibinigay naman nila ang microphone kay Lucas

“Good evening everyone. I am glad to be here in front of you to finally announce my engagement with this” he looked at me right into the eyes before he continue. I smiled at him sweetly in return “lovely woman beside me”

Narinig kong pumalakpak ang mga tao sa paligid kaya tumingin ako sa harap at ngumiti

“Congratulations to these soon husband and wife! This is actually a notice that you are no longer available in the market Mr. Lucas Bellandi” said by the emcee.

We laughed with what he said. He’s actually gay

I mean the emcee. But who knows? Maybe this man beside me is, as well
Char lang!

“Yes and I’m really excited to build a family with my soon to be wife” I felt his lips on my temple

“Before we let you go back to your seats we would like to request a sample from the both of you! Sing a song for each other. I’m actually a friend of Ms. Klerah’s cousin and I know they are a family of singers. Is that okay for you Ms. Klerah?”

Napatakip naman ako ng bibig ko at biglang nahiya pero tumango na lang ako sa kanya

“How about you Sir Lucas? May ibinubulong dito ang mommy mo, kumakanta ka raw talaga” kumakanta siya? Napayuko naman siya habang natatawa

“It’s fine, I’ll sing for my future wife. I’ll go first so she can prepare” I laughed with what he said

Future wife……
Sarap sana pakinggan kung hindi lang acting

He borrowed a guitar, a high stool chair and a mic stand

He cleared his throat first and looked at me smiling. Ugh! That dimple

Well, let me paint you a picture
Introduce some non – fiction
And you can watch how the truth unfolds

The truth, that all of it is just an act?

But I could say that he got a nice voice. I didn’t expect him to have a talent in singing

And I will wait ‘till the morning
And you can tell me how nightmares
But they don’t visit you in your dreams

And as you walk out the door
You will tell me that I’m right
And I will ask you, “just what for?”

And you will tell me that tonight
That I’m the one to keep you warm
And I will look at you and smile

He really looked at me and gave me a flashy smile

Tsk. Such a good actor!

And you will tell me that I’m
Everything
That you wanted, that you needed

Di ka sure...

Everything
That you wanted, that you needed
And you don’t want me to go away
Baby I’m here to stay
Always
Always

You’ll soon leave me. When, you don’t need me anymore. When, I already paid everything to you. You’re not meant for me to stay.

And your friends can go to hell

I chuckled as soon as I heard that line. If the girls heard him saying that they’ll probably whack his head after

If when your backs turned
They twist the knife
The lesson learned

You are the lesson that I need to learn, Lucas

No need to hold the burden of those
Glances over your shoulder

Don’t you let them make you feel like you’re worthless
You’re worth more than anyone
That I have ever met before
And when I watch you, I’m in awe

And I am here to reassure
That I’m the one to keep you warm
And I will look at you and smile
And I will tell you that you’re
Everything
That I wanted, that I needed
Everything
That I wanted, that I needed
And I don’t want you to go away
Baby, I hope that you’ll stay

Always
I hope you’ll stay
Always
Well, I hope you’ll stay
Always
And I hope you’ll stay
Always

I’ll probably stay. But not in your life anymore

Baka ikaw pa ang mag tulak sa akin papalayo

Darling you are safe
No need to run away
I’ll protect you I swear
Every single day

I may be safe physically, but emotionally? I know I will not.

I have to run away. To protect my own self
Because you can’t do it for me, I swear

I made a promise I won’t break
That I will love you everyday
With every piece of my soul
Every inch of my heart
And I will not forget that
And I will not forget that
Oh, my darling you are
Everything
That I wanted, that I needed
Everything
That I wanted, that I needed
Everything
That you wanted, that you needed
Everything
That you wanted, that you needed

I looked at him and smile
There’s no promise that you’ll break because you’re not going to love me in every way just like what the lyrics tell

And I don’t want you to go away
I hope you’re here to stay
Always
You’re here to stay
Always
I hope you’re here to stay
Always
‘Cause I’m here to stay
Always

Tsk. Such a great liar and actor! It’s not me who you wanted and needed. It’s someone else perhaps….. And we’re not for each other to stay at each other’s arms always.

Soon, we will separate our ways

I took a deep breath and smiled shyly as I get the guitar to him. Inilipat rin niya ang mic stand sa harap ko

I strum the guitar as I looked at him then I get back my eyes to my fingers strumming

I lose my breath whenever I see you
You stole my heart, what is it that you do?
My life was grey, till you added colors
Like the moon needs the sun, we don't care 'bout the others

What is it that you do huh, Lucas?
The side of you, being caring? Tsk I’m such a fool to fall for that tactics of yours

You set my world on fire
You're my heart's desire

You’re my heart’s desire but I am not yours’
Because someone might own that heart of yours from the very beginning

I just wanna love you
Just wanna hold you
Just wanna be with you till we grow old
Just tell me you'll stay or take me away
I want you for myself every single day

You set my world on fire
You set my world on fire

I don't know what I'd do without you

You’ll learn and continue living without him, self.

You make me smile, what is it that you do?
My life was grey till you added colors
Like the moon needs the sun, we don't care 'bout the others

You set my world on fire
You're my heart's desire

I just wanna love you
Just wanna hold you
Just wanna be with you till we grow old
Just tell me you'll stay, or take me away
I want you for myself every single day

You set my world on fire
You set my world on fire

I just want you, I just need you
I don't know what it is you do
I just want you, I just need you
I don't know what it is you do

I stopped for a while and smirk at him

I just wanna love you
Just wanna hold you
Just wanna be with you till we grow old
Just tell me you'll stay, or take me away
I want you for myself every single day

You set my world on fire
You set my world on fire

Want, Need and Stay

Three words that repeatedly mentioned on the songs we sang. It’s funny to think that those words won't happen to us

I saw wide smiles from the faces of the people around us

This event supposed to be full of love
But now…
We’re here to make it an event that has full of lies