Author~> its_your_author_hsk

Book~> Break The Rules

Status~> Completed

~Cover 8/10

I liked how the cover is simple yet it looked beautiful on the book. I also like how the red jacket that Taehyung is wearing, a similar type of clothing could be seen throughout the story.

The author can also check out some graphic shops on Wattpad if they want their cover to be more attractive. ^-^

~Title 2/10

Unfortunately, I didn't see any relation between the plot and the title. The cover, title and description of the book should reflect on what your book is going to be from inside. These three things should relate to your plot for clearance and relation.

And from what I've read, I don't think the title has any relation with the story and the plot. Here I'll provide the author with some suggestions.

Example

'The Forgotten Soul'
'When Memories Return'
'From Ashes To Forever'
'The Girl He Forgot'

I have written every single title I thought related to the author's story.

~Description 4/10

The description doesn't give us much of an idea of what the story is going to be about. Also, there are grammatical and punctuation errors in it. Not to mention that the description is also quite long.

Readers like a description which is short, crisp and intriguing with a hint of what the whole book is going to be about; make sure not to write the whole summary.

If the author wants to change it, I suggest giving hints about the plot to create an intriguing effect for the readers.

For example:

When fate brings Taehyung and Y/n together in a cosy cafe, their love blossoms. But darkness from Y/n's past and Taehyung's mother's disapproval threaten to tear them apart. An accident erases Taehyung's memories, leaving Y/n heartbroken. Years later, their paths cross again in one of the least expected of places - Y/n's own company. As Taehyung's memories resurface, will their love blossom, or will the past destroy their future?

The author can also add fewer details to keep the story a mystery.

~First Impression 6/10

Since it's the first story of the author, it's expected to not be perfect.

The story starts with a scene where Y/n fires her secretary. That scene was very immature and doesn't prove her toughness. Sure, she doesn't like any mistakes in her work, but the character (Y/n) should understand that people make mistakes and are not perfect or bots who can do tasks perfectly.

The readers expect good yet unique characters; I'd like it if the author added a few lines to express her emotions and mentioned her day if it was bad and caused her to lash out like that. We don't want her to get angry with everyone she sees next. It turns out to be very unprofessional.

Despite that, I liked how the author introduced Taehyung into the story without any unnecessary stalling.

~Plot 7/15

The plot was well at the start, and I started to find it intriguing, but as it progressed, it seemed to be childish when Y/n married Taehyung. I want to ask the author, did they not find another way to build their relationship so did this?

If that's the reason then it's quite disappointing for a reader. We expect a lot from a story before reading it and it's the author's responsibility to maintain this hope. I hope the author will figure it out.

Also, it would be much better to provide information about the company Y/n has and built, as it would let the readers know why and what it is all about.

One more thing which I wanted to mention is the illegal work done by Y/n. She does not have to do it all and why?

All these questions remain unanswered to me. If she was tortured or physically harassed or her dad used physical violence against her, why would she want others to have that and do that?

There was no need to include illegal work in the story itself. It's an unnecessary element if I were to define it. The story could have been developed better without it too.

One thing which I find to be appreciated is the plot, which is set up well, but it needs more hard work to build it more beautifully.

~Grammar and Punctuation 3/15

Please don't take my words to heart, but the grammar and punctuation were poor in the story. Now I will be correcting the errors in the first chapter as I can't do it for the whole story. Please view them carefully and notice the mistakes.

What originally is written:

A/n pov

"JUST GET OUTTA HERE" The girl yelled at the poor man who made mistake . He was not able to complete the presentation on time but the girl infront of him wants every single thing on time. He shiver in fear , looking down .

Here is the corrected version:

AUTHOR'S POV OR A/N'S POV (In the capital for clarity.)

"JUST GET OUT OF HERE!" The girl yelled at the poor man who had made a mistake. He was not able to complete the presentation on time, but the girl in front of him wanted everything on time. He shivered in fear while looking down.

These are the errors in the first few lines. Let me point them out for you.

1. Keep your tenses in check. Maintain one tense, past, which is used to write stories. Write the story in the past tense to maintain flow, and the reader keeps going to read the story.

2. Please use articles when they are needed. I hope the author knows about how grammar works. Please make sure to start the sentence with a capital letter and end it with a full stop (.), exclamation mark (!), question mark (?) or other ending punctuation.

3. Please use commas carefully and do not put space before it. There have been a lot of times when I noticed that the author has put space before commas.

4. Last but not least, revise the chapter two to three times before publishing. Clear out spelling errors, edit and add a few more lines if it feels to. Revising chapters is one of the most important things to do before you publish your work.

Keeping that aside, I noticed that this 'craned' word was being used in the story which stood out to me. Try using synonyms or different words like turned, glanced, stared, gaped, gazed, viewed, faced, looked over, oriented, etc.

I hope the author can look into this aspect more and will try to improve. I'm looking forward to a positive outlook on their end.

~Characters 6/10

Y/n and Taehyung are good characters and they do contrast well. They are different from each other in many ways - which is a good factor - but adding some more uniqueness to their characters would lead them to life.

I would also suggest adding more information and light on the side characters like the grandma and Y/n's brother. They got much less mention in the story.

Do not forget to describe their emotions well whenever writing. Do not simply write them, describe them through actions, expressions and surroundings. The author can also use similes, metaphors or proverbs as an effective way to express emotions.

I'll write some lines which express emotions well.

'Life is beautiful, and so are you' (affection)
'Tears fall from her eyes like rain, filling me with guilt all over' (regret)
'Fear grips my heart and I barely can breathe' (fear)

~Pacing 4/10

The pace at the start was good and average for the story and I didn't feel that it was in a rush much. As it started to progress, the chapters were filled with rush, as if they were running.

Not to mention the time when Y/n married Taehyung out of nowhere, which she called her 'plan', was something I was left confused with. I think that there was no reason for her to do that.

It looked as if the author didn't know how to bring them close, so they simply married them off, thinking it would work out. I hope this is not the case.

To slow down the pace, add more lines and describe scenes well so it doesn't feel rushed.

~Overview 5/10

Please don't be sad at the slow score. Rather, take it as a step towards a new start and development. I did like the story at the start, but as I read more chapters, it was described in the most vague possible way. I know the author will do their best and work with their weak parts to improve.

If I'm wrong at any point, please enlighten me.

Total 45/100

Author! This is where the key of improvement is in your hands!