"BTS BTS BTS," the crowd chanted as a smile played on their lips while performing.

Cecilia's eyes were stuck at the scene in front of her as everything around her faded except the seven boys on stage along with the beautiful sound of chants. She couldn't explain this moment. Her feelings were a jumbled mess that no one other than a fellow ARMY would understand.

Her inner fangirl was ready to jump out and she wanted to join the heartfelt scene but she had a job and it wasn't time for this. The feeling of euphoria coursed through her veins as she had a huge stupid smile on her face.

She tried her best to be able to engrave each member's part in her brain. They had helped her so much that she felt obliged to say 'Thank you' each time she saw them.

Just like every other BTS performance, they were done before they even started. It was never enough and as the boys rushed backstage Cecilia decided to call the other members, but he stopped her.

His excited face dropped the moment he noticed the empty backstage and Cecilia just watched helplessly as the boy she grew to love's expression dropped. His Bambi- like eyes shrunk back and his gorgeous bunny smile that would make you smile along was replaced with a straight line. The worst part that he left before anyone could comfort him.

Another needle immediately struck her as BTS mirrored the same expression as Jeongguk's and they threw their mikes running after him.

A lonely tear fell from her eye and she didn't move one inch to try to wipe it away.

Eira walked over to her and turned her around.

"What happened?" Eira questioned in a state of panic.

"He was searching for her but she didn't come," Cecilia replied as another tear fell.

Cecilia let out a dry laugh as she wiped her tears.

"Don't know why I'm even tearing up," she added as she shook her head.

"I know why we were are both worried," Eira stated with a sigh. "We always cared about them and You about Jeongguk is on an even higher scale."

"Eira I don't want to like him like that," Cecilia answered desperately. "Please make it stop."

"Go to him," Eira said and Cecilia couldn't believe what she just heard, but Eira looked at her seriously. "You want to go after him, don't you?"

"No," Cecilia replied looking at the floor. She wasn't going to do it. This wasn't her place and the members would find him.

"Liar," Eira told her monotonously. "You lied again."

Cecelia glanced up at her, unable to comprehend her friend's behavior.

"You are friends with him aren't you?" Eira questioned staring at her and Cecilia could feel her gaze drilling holes into her head. "You became close and for some reason every time you feel bad, he is right in front of you, so are you going to help him or feel sorry about your feelings?"

Cecilia smiled at her and ran out of the place to find the members standing outside looking frustrated.

"Cecilia?" Jin asked as he noticed her standing.

"Did you find him?" she slowly asked feeling her cheeks heat up.

"No," Jin told her as he gently shook his head. "It's like he disappeared all of a sudden."

"Do you know where he might have gone?" Jimin questioned with hope.

"Did car go missing?" Cecilia asked trying to think of things she and Jeongguk talked about.

"Yeah, it did," Jimin replied sadly.

"I think I know," Cecilia told them as she remembered something Jeongguk had ended up saying without realizing and all the members looked up at her, making her fidget in her place.

"You do?" Taehyung asked with a smile.

"Maybe but don't think he want anyone to know," Cecilia replied, remembering what Jeongguk had told her, but this was an exception. This was an emergency.

"You go and tell us if he is fine then," Yoongi told her. "If he doesn't want to tell us, then he wants to be alone. You know the place then you should go. Maybe, he needs a different person to talk some sense into him."

"But you-" Cecilia tried to disagree but Yoongi interrupted her.

"Please help him," Yoongi pleaded with his eyes dark orbs a little glossy and Cecilia couldn't say no, but hope she was actually right.

*******

Jeongguk felt his heart shatter each time he thought of the empty backstage. His whole body shook in anger as he felt so dumb to believe she would actually come to see him. He should have never believed her words when he knew how her schedule was, yet his heart ached as he felt his throat clog up and he got into the nearest car and drove off to the only place he knew no one would find him.

He didn't care how worried anyone would get as the only thing on his mind was to go far away from everyone and be alone as he cried his heart out. He halted his car at a convenience store and got out, lowering his bucket hat lower as he paid for the cans of beer. Thankfully. no one recognized him as there wasn't much of a crowd and he headed back on the road.

An hour had passed and he smiled softly through the pain as he stared at the huge fields in front of him. He stopped his car near the lake and grabbed a beer sitting on the edge, letting his tear fall.

The view was far too beautiful for his solemn mood and that made him angry as he gulped the can down. It wasn't fair that the world was smiling today at him, mocking his misery. The beautiful hues of gold, red and yellow blended within the greyish blue sky and soft breezes blew around him. The lake glistened under the sun and the blue shade got darker as the sun descended further. He chugged down another can, the bitter flavor filling his mouth, but he didn't care one bit. On the contrary, he enjoyed the bitterness making him happy that at least there was something that felt the same way as him.

As the sun almost disappeared, he smiled in content. The sun would no longer be a bother as the moon would shine against the pretty stars. The moon understood how it felt like to be ignored and forgotten. People cared more about the bright ball of fire and never appreciated the moon hidden behind. He drownded two more cans of beer when he heard a familiar sweet voice call his name. He was tipsy by now and pretty sure he was hallucinating, so he ignored and got ready to drown another can.

"Jeon Jeongguk stop!" Cecilia yelled as she ran in front of him, grabbing the can out of his hand. "What are you doing?!"

Jeongguk chuckled and made hand gestures, telling her to hand it over.

"No, I won't," she scolded him, feeling her heart clench at his state. His eyes were red and swollen and his luscious hair was a dead mess.

The worst situation she had seen him was when he had collapsed backstage during concerts and that was in documentaries which always pained her to watch, but this was ten times more hurtful.

"You shouldn't be here," Jeongguk told her seriously. "You should leave and give me back the can."

Cecilia shook her head and inhaled a sharp breath.

"I not let you do this, I can't," Cecilia told him remembering how to say it correctly. "This won't fix stuff only make it worse so listen to me."

"Please," she added softly walking closer to him.

Jeongguk stared at her in a trance as she slowly sat right in front of him and it seemed like she was going to reach for his hands, but held herself back.

"If torture yourself, you think everything will be fixed?" Cecilia asked him annoyed. She held up the can in front of her. "This comfort you? No, it make everything worse so talk to her instead drink this garbage."

Cecilia ranted as she put down the can in disgust and Jeongguk let out a giggle, making her look at him. He was full-on laughing now, confusing her even more.

"What funny?" She asked as her eyes widened and she had little pout which made Jeongguk smile brightly.

"You," he replied and when he noticed the dazed expression on her face, he snatched the beer out and drank more sips.

"Jeongguk, please no," she spoke, letting her walls break around him and she knew she would regret this later, but if this conveyed how she felt and the other members then she will. "Please."

"Just talk instead," she added gently and Jeongguk stopped walking and turned around to face her. He was surprised to find tears in her eyes which made no sense to him.

Why does she even care about me? he wondered as he watched a tear fall, but he turned around and clenched his fists.

And why does it hurt me too? he thought annoyed.

"She never shows up and I should have known, but it doesn't even matter okay, so stop wasting your time and leave," he demanded and Cecilia tensed up from his tone.

"Tell her you want her there," Cecilia replied, knowing exactly what he was doing. He wanted her to leave and she was afraid of what he would do. After hearing about what Jeongguk was capable of, she wouldn't dare leave him alone no matter how much he pushed her. "Have to talk."

"We do," Jeongguk said quietly as he finished another can.

Cecilia couldn't believe she was going to do this, but it seemed like this was the only way, so she caught up with him and held his hands and looked up into his dead eyes which was missing the usual twinkling galaxies.

"Your feelings important," she told him softly, trying her best to not focus on her racing heart or the fact that Jeongguk's hands were the softest thing she ever held. "You will figure out. I know and so do other members. She your fiancee and you have to be honest. Please not hurt yourself."

The more he heard her speak, the calmer he felt. Her words were as smooth as silk and she spoke with so much love that he couldn't believe it. Her voice was soft and buttery...definitely angelic.He was lost in those sweet melodies that pulled on his heartstrings making his heart skip a beat.

Her hands fit so perfectly in his and they were so warm and comforting that his emotions shifted to focus on this new feeling that he was feeling with her, but he couldn't understand what was about this girl that made her stand out.

"Okay," he spoke after a while.

Cecilia smiled at him brightly when she noticed him staring at their intertwined hands.

"So small," he said with a giggle and Cecilia realized he was completely drunk at this point, but still a blush formed on her cheeks and she tried removing her hands, only making him grip them slightly tighter. "My hands."

"They not yours," Cecilia told him trying to pull them back as she was pretty sure she was reader than a tomato.

"I want," Jeonnguk whined like a kid. "They so warm."

"Your hands warm too," Cecilia tried explaining, mad at herself for feeling her heart beat faster at each word.

Somehow he let go and Cecilia was glad to be out of the awkwardness then found herself missing the feeling.

Why are you like this? She asked herself.

"I'm tired so I will go home," Jeonnguk stated, walking to the car and Cecilia ran after him.

"You are drunk," she told him."You can't drive."

"Don't be silly, I'm not," Jeongguk said as he swayed while trying to open the car.

"Do you want food?" Cecilia asked and Jeongguk's eyes lit up as he looked at her in awe. She couldn't help but giggle at his cute expression.

"Then I will drive," Cecilia added.

Jeongguk groaned but let her take the driver's seat and she texted the rest that she is bringing Jeongguk back.

She handed him a water bottle to sober up as she drove to look for some restaurant.

After a while, Jeongguk had finally returned back to normal and looked away embarrassed.

"Sorry," he mumbled, unable to believe what he had done.

"You safe so everything good," she said with a smile. "You always help so I'm happy I got to help you."

"Still sorry," he replied then noticed she was going in a different direction  from where the dorms were. "Where are you going?"

"I promised you food," Cecilia shrugged as she stopped at a fast food place. "Is fine or something else?"

"This is fine," Jeongguk replied. "But you don't have to."

"Your order?" she asked ignoring his replies and Jeongguk had no choice, but to tell her what he would like and she disappeared.

WHAAT THE HECK IS WRONG WITH YOU? SOFT HANDS?WARM? STUPID SO STUPID. WHAT'S WITH THE BABY ATTITUDE? he scolded himself mentally as he groaned in annoyance and she finally came and handed him the food, before driving again.

"Just ice cream?" he asked as he looked at her order.

"I was craving that," she told him with a smile. "Have not eat stuff like this in while."

"Are they hard on you with diet?" he asked worriedly and Cecilia shook her head.

"I'm more hard than them," she explained with a small smile.

"You should take care of yourself," Jeongguk said concerned.

"Worry about yourself first," she stated. "You should not lie to yourself."

"Then what about the letter?" Jeongguk asked remembering the letter she had given him. "You never explained that."

Cecilia was so happy that they had reached the dorm rooms, so she didn't have to answer that.

"We here," she said and got out of the car.

Jeongguk was going to talk to her more when he saw Yun Hee staring at him in horror.

"Why were you with her?" she questioned hurt.

*************

Heyyyyyyy. Okay so before you kill me, I can explain. I can't really explain this but writing has been stressing me out instead of helping. I feel anxious whenever I write and I'm questioning everything even though I shouldn't. I'm really sorry for not giving you the frequent updates you all deserve.

Please be patient with me and I really hope you will stay with me until the end.

What did you think about all the Julia/Cecikook moments?

What do you think will happen next?

THANK YOU FOR HELPING ME REACG 3K! I'M STILL IN SHOCK YOU LIKE THIS.

See you all soon. Bye!!!

Take care of yourselves and stay safe,

Anera