Why can't guys wear eyeliner?

"Ryan, what are you doing?" Patrick asked me as I stood in front of the bathroom mirror in Flack Hall, carefully drawing dark spirals around my eyes.

"What does it look like I'm doing?" I replied as my eyeliner pen moved just a little bit too far. I glanced at my reflection in the mirror again and decided that I would fix it after I was done talking to Patrick. "I'm going to the Guyliner Club meeting today, and I need to look my very best."

"I didn't know that Kale had a Guyliner Club," Patrick said as he adjusted his glasses.

"The first Guyliner Club meeting is today," I said. "Do you want to come with me?"

"No thanks," Patrick said.

"Suit yourself," I said as I put the finishing touches on my makeup. It had taken me a little bit longer than I expected, but it looked amazing, at least in my opinion. I put my eyeliner pens away and headed downstairs, and as I did, the other residents of Flack Hall gave me wide-eyed stares.

"Are you going to a costume party or something?" one girl who lived on the first floor asked me.

"No, I'm going to the Guyliner Club meeting," I said.

I had gotten similar reactions when I had worn eyeliner in high school, but I had learned to ignore other people's judgments. I've always believed in following what feels right and expressing yourself honestly, and over time, I've discovered that I'm the sort of guy who really enjoys wearing makeup. Wearing eyeliner had always felt right for me, regardless of any gender norms that might say otherwise. Determining what is right can be complicated sometimes (there's a whole branch of philosophy dedicated to it), but sometimes it's no more complicated than what your instincts say is right.

I walked across the campus, passing by rows of Greek houses on my way to the Pendragon Center. It was a lovely September afternoon, but I couldn't help but worry about the club meeting a little bit. What if the other members of the Guyliner Club didn't like me? Perhaps I was being petty, but I desperately wanted friends who shared my love for guyliner. I hadn't had anyone like that in high school, although so far, I had found that college students were a little bit more accepting than high schoolers were.

I opened the doors of the Pendragon Center, but I didn't see anyone in there other than a receptionist. Was this another cruel joke? I knew that my luck was bad, but this seemed particularly horrible. If God existed, was this His/Her/Their way of telling me not to wear guyliner? The thought was already making me feel a bit disenchanted.

I stood there awkwardly for a few minutes before the receptionist asked, "Are you looking for something?"

"Do you happen to know if this is where the Guyliner Club is meeting?" I asked.

The receptionist nodded and said, "They're upstairs."

I climbed upstairs until I spotted a group of four people sitting and chatting in an empty classroom. "Is this the Guyliner Club meeting?" I asked.

A rather familiar boy smiled and said, "See guys? I told you that we would get at least one new member!" He then turned to me and said, "Yes, this is the Guyliner Club meeting. I'm Gerard Way, the club president."

"I'm Ryan Ross," I said as I shook Gerard Way's hand.

I took a seat next to Gerard, who had his arm around the short, dark-haired boy sitting next to him. "Alright, why don't we all introduce ourselves to Ryan? I'll go first. I'm Gerard, I'm a senior here, I'm majoring in art, and I love guyliner! Frank, you're next."

The boy next to Gerard said, "I'm Frank, I'm a junior, I'm majoring in psychology, and Gerard made me join this club, and I joined because I love him."

"Aww, thanks Frankie," Gerard said.

The girl sitting next to Frank leaned over and asked, "Gerard, now that we have a new member, can I quit?"

"Absolutely not," Gerard said.

"But this is the Guyliner Club, and I'm not even a guy!" the girl complained.

"Don't you have a shirt that says 'Gender Is Over?'" Gerard said.

"Yes," the girl responded.

"That's my response to you," Gerard said. "Gender is over. Who cares what gender you are? You can still be in the Guyliner Club."

"I don't want to be in the Guyliner Club," the girl said.

"Sorry, but you're stuck here," Gerard said. "We need all of the members we can get."

The girl rolled her eyes and said, "Fine. I'm Laura Jane Grace, I'm a senior political science major, and I don't know why I'm here. We're over the minimum amount of people needed to be a club now!"

The boy next to Laura, who had the most impressive makeup out of everyone in the Guyliner Club, said, "I'm Pete Wentz, I'm a sophomore, I'm also majoring in political science, and makeup is great for a guy because it makes a guy look beautiful. That's everyone, right Gerard?"

"Right," Gerard said. "By the way, Pete, why haven't you joined the Greek Friendship Society yet?"

"I don't know," Pete said. "I...uh...er...I'm allergic to dogs! That's why I haven't joined!"

Frank gasped and said, "That must be horrible! How do you live?"

"What do dogs have to do with the Greek Friendship Society?" I asked.

"We're the only house on campus that allows dogs," Gerard explained. "You should join, Ryan. It's the best Greek organization on campus."

"Don't listen to him," Laura said. "Form your own opinions, Ryan."

"We're having a party next week," Gerard said. "You should go."

"I'll consider it," I said, and I was telling the truth. New experiences are always beneficial for enriching the mind, and although I probably wouldn't join the Greek Friendship Society, going to one of their parties might be fun.

"Awesome," Gerard said, smiling. "Laura? Frank? You guys will be there, right?"

"I'll come," Laura said.

"Gerard, I live in the Greek Friendship Society house," Frank said. "Of course I'll be there."

"I know you will, Frank," Gerard said as he held the smaller boy's hand.

Pete looked towards me and said, "Hey Ryan, your eyeliner looks awesome. How did you do it?"

"Thanks, your eyeliner looks great too," I said. I then went into a rather long explanation of how I had spent all of that time putting on my makeup. After I finished, I asked Pete, "Do you have any guyliner tips?"

Pete shrugged and said, "I don't put too much effort into my eyeliner, but I love wearing it." Despite that statement, he did give me a few useful tips that made it clear that he did know a few things about makeup.

"I've been experimenting with red eye makeup lately," Gerard chimed in. "I didn't wear it today, but I got a few compliments on it during my Advanced Drawing and Composition class."

"That's neat," I said.

"Makeup's just so fun to wear," Pete said. "It makes a guy look beautiful!"

"I agree," I said.

"If we're going by that logic, then we're the four most beautiful guys at Kale," Gerard said.

"I wouldn't be so sure about that," Laura said.

"Shut up, Laura," Gerard said. "Let us have our moment."

"Why can't all guys wear eyeliner?" I asked. "Since eyeliner makes guys look beautiful, then shouldn't all guys wear it?"

"Maybe some guys just enjoy looking ugly," Frank said.

"Why would anyone want to be ugly?" I asked.

"Being ugly is punk rock," Laura said.

"No, being unconventionally beautiful is more punk than being ugly," Pete argued.

"What if being beautiful and being ugly are the same thing?" I said.

There was an awkward silence for a moment before Frank said, "No, that's silly."

"Not all guys wear eyeliner because some people are a little bit too attached to traditional gender roles," Pete said. "I know that Gerard and Laura were saying earlier that gender is over, and they're right, but a lot of people won't accept that."

"It's unfortunate, because dismantling the gender binary would be better for everyone," Laura said.

"Gender's just a pointless fictional construct anyways," Gerard said. "So is the idea that guys can't wear eyeliner."

"You should do an art project about that, Gerard," Pete suggested.

"That's not a bad idea," Gerard said as he gave us a slightly terrifying smile. "It will be a series of paintings about the men and women who defy traditional gender roles and the demons that plague them as they struggle against the establishment. What a brilliant idea, Pete."

"Gerard always gets a little scary when he's talking about art," Frank whispered to Laura.

"I'll get started on it next week," Gerard said. "If it turns out well enough, I'll use it as my senior project."

"I thought that graphic novel was your senior project," Frank said.

"I'm still trying to decide!" Gerard said. "Frank, you have to understand that true art takes some time to develop."

"I understand, Gerard," Frank said.

"I do think that you all would make excellent subjects," Gerard said. "Especially you, Frank. You really helped me in that one class last year."

Gerard winked and Frank blushed and said, "It was all you, Gerard. You're the artist, not me."

"Maybe we should change the subject," Laura said.

"I've got it!" Pete said. "What else are we going to do this year? We should do something to increase membership, since Gerard and Laura are leaving next year."

"Don't remind me," Frank said.

"We should bring some local artists that wear guyliner on campus," Laura suggested. "That would be so cool."

"See Laura?" Gerard said. "This is why we need you in this club. That's a great idea."

"How about a contest to see who has the best guyliner?" I suggested.

"No, you and Pete would dominate that for sure," Gerard said.

"We should throw an emo-themed party at the Greek Friendship Society house," Frank said.

"We're already throwing one this weekend," Gerard said.

"Oh right," Frank said. "I forgot." He took a look at the clock and said, "Wait, it's almost time for Abnormal Psychology. I should go."

"I need to leave too," Laura said. "Public Opinion and Foreign Policy starts in ten minutes."

"Bye everyone," I said.

"Don't forget - we're having another meeting in two weeks!" Gerard shouted as he left the Pendragon Center. "I expect all of you to be there!"

"I'll come!" I exclaimed as I followed him out of the building. As I walked back to Flack Hall, I thought about my newfound friends, if I could call them that. In all honesty, the members of the Guyliner Club already felt like friends to me. They were all so different, yet had so much in common. Already, I was certain that if I gave them enough time, Gerard, Frank, Laura, and Pete could become some of my closest friends.