After the last session with Brunner, Liam retreats into his shell. The weight has lifted off of him about his murky past with Mary but does not erase everything away.

Her green eyes still haunt him.

He writes the three letters in a single night. The next morning he presents the letters to Brunner unsealed.

"You can read them and post them afterwards," he says, barely looking at the therapist.

"Take the week off from the sessions," Brunner responds, while taking the letters from his hands. "Just like we agreed. It will do you do some good. Introspection."

Liam's eyes are glued to the ground and he subtly nods. He knows that one week is not enough to bury his depressing thoughts. He hands him his mobile phone.

"You also got your phone privilege back. I trust you will use it wisely?"

"I guess you'll monitor my use?"

Brunner stares impassively at Liam.

He lifts his eyes to him and sighs. "Yeah, that's what I thought."

A week later and Liam's successfully stonewalls every question that is thrown at him. The group that allowed him to flourish now feels suffocating. For three days, the phone lays by his bedside table untouched. Liam doesn't feel like calling Charlie or Eva. He doesn't want to call his parents or Matt. For three days, there is only one person who he wants to hear from.

The phone taunts him with the prospect of hearing her voice again. His gut screams at his heart and discourages his fingers from pressing the ill-fated numbers that will release her sweet voice.

Unconsciously, his internal struggle has granted his hands strength to hold the phone. He stares at her name on the screen and sways his body back and forth on the bed. His heart thumps in his ears. In a sudden move, his hands reject the device and push it on his bed. He rocks his body cyclically. Back and forth. Back and forth. Back and forth.

His nails are now on his mouth. His eyes glued to the small black box, mocking him from the bed. Back and forth. Back and forth. Back and forth. His left arm reaches and retracts.

He gets up and paces. His teeth attached to the nails. His eyes never wavering from the possibilities the monochrome device can bring.

His heart decides and his arm unwaveringly and rapidly reaches for the device. He scrolls for her name and hovers over the green button. His memory recalls the last time he called her and the aftermath of his decisions. He closes the contact list and opens his Instagram to distract from his betraying thoughts.

He smiles softly at Isabella's posts that flood his feed and reminds him there is someone else out there he still holds dear to his heart. He types a small message to her recent post and then scrolls his many notifications aimlessly. Targeting his niece seems to be an effective tool to keep away his distorted thoughts.

Most of the posts he scrolls wish him a happy birthday. He sighs and realises he forgot his birthday. He types messages of thanks until he reaches Isabella's post and looks at those green eyes peering into his soul.

His breath catches and his brain tells him to close the application, but his fingers have already clicked on her username. Rationality evades him. She's the only that matters. He needs to see more of her. Liam scrolls slowly to the first picture, where Aimee mounts an elephant with a beaming smile.

He scrolls to the second picture, that Aimee clicks off her bare feet on the sand with the ocean as a backdrop. He scrolls to the third picture and sees a picture of a guy talking to an Indian lady. The caption is humorous and light-hearted. His encephalon cries for him to stop. But, it's his ticker that is in charge.

He clicks on his username. Curiosity kills the cat... swiftly. The first image is a shared kiss between two newfound lovers. Liam's breath catches and his hand squeezes the phone hard before launching the black box of his forlorn self against the wall. His eyes squeeze tight and he sits by the edge of the bed, rocking his body back and forth. Back and forth. Back and forth.

Two weeks go by as slowly and painfully as the first week in the facility. He attends group therapy and the sessions with Brunner, as regularly as an atheist priest attends mass.

His steps are slow as his brain and when he enters the habitual room, it takes a moment to realise the different layout. There are no chairs placed in a circle inviting people to share with others. Alternatively, there's a whiteboard in the centre of the room. Liam takes two steps forward, intrigued. On the board, in bold red colour, it reads,

'Write the name of the person you hurt the most.'

He looks at the board that is adorned with names, like Sven, Cecilia, Roberto or Whitney, or a simple my wife, my children, my baby, my love... Brunner walks over to Liam and places a marker in front of his eyes. Without a word, Liam takes it in his hand and Brunner walks away.

Liam stares at the whiteboard for the longest of time. Not because he doesn't know what to write, but because it hurts too much. Slowly he opens the cap off the pen, holds the pen and draws meticulously a name on the board.

'Aimee'

He closes the cap and wipes his eyes that stubbornly spill teardrops.

His eyes travel to the bottom of the whiteboard, where a small note is written in green ink.

'Forgive yourself so they can forgive you.'

Liam falls to the ground and wails in desperation.

The following day, he enters Brunner's office furiously. "You have no right."

Brunner gets up and observes his aggressive stance. "Right to do what?"

"Why did you make me write her name on the board?"

"I didn't make you do anything. Just because I gave you a pen doesn't mean you need to write anything down. You did that. The same way that everything else that has happened in your life, including Aimee, has been your choice."

His words sting.

"You've made some genuine progress here, Liam, but you keep retreating when it comes to Aimee. If she is your lowest point, then you need to talk about it so you can start mending bridges." Brunner sits down and points at the sofa in an open invitation.

Liam wavers while glancing between the doctor and the sofa. His fists clench in anger. Her face flashes through his eyes. He still hears her voice. His heart still feels every note she ever played. His complete self belongs to her from the moment their hands touched. He sits down on the sofa.

"I've never felt this way before."

"What do you mean?"

"With Mary, it was raw but clear. I wanted to fuck her. I liked her body, the way she made me feel. But with Aimee, everything was turbid. She has this fierceness about her, yet she has been the most innocent person I've ever laid my eyes on. The way she plays the piano is the most amazing thing. The way she jumped on that surfboard every day, determined to go in the water and surf just as her dad did, was impressive. I couldn't figure her out and yet, somehow, she was figuring me out, piece by piece, unapologetically."

"It seems to be a lot like love."

Liam looks up at Brunner. "She also was the person who told me I don't know how to love."

"Just because you can fall in love doesn't mean that you have learnt to express it. But, the good news is you can always learn if you're willing. How did you two meet?" he redirects Liam's attention.

"At the beach, she called me an asshole because I cut her off in the water," He smirks. "She was waddling about on that board and didn't even see I had priority." He laughs. "I could have given her way, but she was right. I was being an asshole."

Liam looks to the outside world. The green fields and the mountain backdrop that are now so familiar to him always bring him some momentary comfort.

"I think I fell in love with her from the moment I saw her. The way those eyes pierced through me when she called me out."

"When were you sure of your feelings for her?"

"When I started teaching her to surf, I knew I was getting in deep. But I knew I had fallen for her when we kissed for the first time. No kiss before felt as sweet as the one that we shared in that open water. Even Charlie called me on it."

"Your brother called you on it?"

"I took her to a special place. Somewhere I go on my own. I didn't even realise what I was doing. All I knew was that I wanted her to see it. He noticed it though and told me as much."

"And what happened? Why is she your lowest point?"

"I just fucked up in every single way possible. My parents introduced me to Grace, someone that comes from the right family and that would further Matt's political ambition. I was so numb to the world that I kept quiet and allowed them to steer my life. Grace knew who I was... We had an agreement... But, Aimee's presence, my feelings for her, broke it. She wasn't just another pair of legs that I could bed, she lighted my life in a way that I've never felt before. My first mistake was to kiss Aimee, to lead her on, for her only to find out I was promised to another."

"And your second mistake?"

"To allow Mary back in my life for the third time." He sighs. "She sent me an email three days after the voicemail I left on her phone. We started corresponding and once again, she was fuelling my darkest side. It was my fault. I shouldn't have ever contacted her again."

"But, you did because you were angry she signed the papers?"

"I don't know why I did it. This all happened one month before Aimee came into my life. All I knew is that I was angry and Mary was the perfect outlet to let my inner rage burn." He pauses for a beat, allowing his thoughts to gather. "Mary and I started video chatting, and soon we were jerking off to one another. She started telling me how much she missed me and how she wished she could touch me again. I don't even know how, but she convinced me to play our little cat-and-mouse game again. Select a prey, fuck her, and leave the camera on so she can watch." He shakes his head. "How is that saying again? Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me?"

"Yes, that's the saying," Brunner responds.

"What do you say when someone falls for the third time? Shame on being so stupid?" Liam rubs his beard. "She would masterfully select the target for me. Grace, girls in the club, and the client..."

"Aimee?"

Liam's eyes glare at Brunner. "Yes. At first, she was another one of our pawns. But, after I started spending time with her... I said she was out of bounds and cut Mary off. I didn't speak to her again until I found out Aimee had met someone else... after she found about me and Grace."

"I see... and her happiness made you feel you needed to run back to your comfort zone? Mary?"

"I got drunk and called her. I needed something to numb the pain in my heart..."

Brunner nods.

"What I didn't know... fuck, I should have known is that she was recording me... And when I finally rejected her. After doing the dirty deed with the client, in my office, in fucking broad daylight. I felt sick to my stomach, and I told Mary that I had signed the papers and that we were through. Somehow, she understood this had to do with Aimee. She ensured Aimee found out about my darkest secret."

"What is your darkest secret?"

"That I'm a depraved human being. She assumed that I've played with her feelings throughout the time we know one another, and given my past misgivings, it was hard to deny it."

"Where is she now?"

"In India..." He remembers the shared kiss on the feed he was never meant to open. "She's with someone else. I've lost the only person I ever cared for. And, I realise now that it sucks to lose her... It sucks so fucking much, but what matters the most is that I know I'm not what she needs and that he makes her happy."

"Maybe there is another letter that you need to write."

"To Aimee?"

Brunner shakes his head. "To yourself. It's time you move on, with or without Aimee. Move from the endless cycle with Mary. Face your issues with your family and find yourself. You need to accept that this might mean you find out who you are meant to be without the girl that showed you what it means to love someone else unconditionally."