**Hey readers!! I just wanted to warn you that in the next three chapters to come there will be a few scenes involving the topic of self-harm. And just so you know I didn't put them into the story because I thought they would be a good development to my characters. I put the idea of self harm into my books because I and one of my friends go through this situation, that you will read, every day. I'm not writing about it for pity or attention for my books. I just felt the need to put some of my reality into the reality of the characters in my book. Please keep reading and commenting!!
Quote: "Giving up is the easiest thing you could do, but holding it all together when everyone expects you to crumble that, is true strength." ~~Unknown**

Chapter 9

I don't think I have ever appreciated this grassy hill this much in the whole time I have been coming up here. It is isolated and quiet from the rest of the town. No one comes around to snoop and I can be lost in my thoughts. Most of my drawings were done in this very spot and I can't help feeling the familiar calm treat me.

But no one really appreciates something fully until they have delicious ice cream settling in their stomach and a gorgeous man that is making you laugh. While your head rests on his shoulder. Because in that moment I was so very appreciative of this isolated hill.

We had talked non-stop about old training session in which we spent the majority of the time...well not training with weapons. It should have made me feel uncomfortable talking about making out with the guy I made out with, but with Nate it wasn't in the least.

"So basically when Jem came into the training room she knew something was up. You were smiling way to much and not sweating at all. That's when she forbade me from ever training you again and she picked up the tracks." His arm curled around my back, pulls me closer so I can stare into his mischievous eyes.

I have no doubt that he found a way around it. And of course thinking about that certain topic can do crazy things to a girls head. My eyes drop down to that arrogant smirk of his and I think of how fun it would be to just wipe it away. Not necessarily in the punching way either.

He seems to read my mind because he pulls me closer so my whole upper body is aligned with his and our heads are about the same spot. My mind starts to buzz and I feel the anticipation and scarily enough desire roll through me. Right before he can even move another muscle we both hear the rustle.

We freeze. Correction; I freeze Nate rolls over so he's on top of me and I don't even know where or when he had drawn that long curved blade now in his hand. And now may not be the time to notice this, but he looks like the dark warrior he had been made out to be. Nate's eyes lost all their warmth and humor. Instead I see someone with a lot of blood on their hands and no guilt in the matter. I'm not sure what it is but I feel like I can relate to the darkness that threatens to turn his demeanor into stone.

Not making a sound he crouches into a fighting position. "Stay down and don't leave my side. I need to find and neutralize the threat. But do you see our dilemma?"

He's testing me at a time like this? "Um...we are completely exposed so they can see us but we can't see them." Because of the trees. "And if we try to fly or make a run for it-"

"Him not they, will either shoot us from the sky or take us on from either side and it's too risky with your condition." His eyes scan every inch of our surroundings. He misses nothing with that calculating brain of his.

"I'm not a disease!" Nows not a time to argue. Get yourself together. "How do you know he is fallen?" The new found calmness in my voice impresses even me. With smooth movements I roll onto my knees and I go into a frog-like crouch. I thrust my hand out to Nate in a "give me" gesture.

He only pauses a moment before lifting his pant leg, where tucked into his combat boots is a small, black throwing knife. Hmmm. I like the feel of a knife in my hand. Much better than something like a heavy sword. Nate interrupts my thoughts with an answer to my question. "Angels can sense when another angel is near. Like a sixth sense that takes practice. I would have to be closer to define the power as dark or light. Simple as that. Now-" Before he can get 'be quiet' out a figure slowly steps from the outlining a of trees.

The time in which Nate takes to reach the figure is the time it takes me to blink. And it- correction she is at least a hundred feet away. I don't hesitate it running down the hill after him and cursing the sugary sweetness rolling around in my stomach.

By the time I've reached him I'm out of breath and gasping for air. Nate has easily shoved the girl's back against the rough bark of the tree. His long curved knife makes an indent in the soft skin of her neck. She looks positively terrified.

"Why were you hiding and watching us?" I've yet to hear Nate speak like this. It's a calm yet cold tone that sends shivers up my spine.

"I-I was going to come out but I couldn't tell if you two were Fallen or not." She shaking from head to toe, the poor girl.

Then I realize something that the girl said. "Your not Fallen?" She didn't look evil. Her honey golden eyes were wide with innocence and kindness. I almost felt bad for her but Nate wouldn't do this to someone who was innocent.

"No she is an angel." Nate doesn't move an inch and he also doesn't turn to look at me as he talks. "But that doesn't explain why I don't recognize you and why you have a dagger encrusted with red stone up your sleeve." The girl let's out a gasp, obliviously surprised Nate knew this.

Her eyes start to mist as the dagger digs deeper into her neck. "I stole it off a Fallen! I-I swear I'm not here to hurt you. I'm a walker." As if that explains everything. But Nate drops his hands and takes a step back, with her weapon in his free hand. He doesn't relinquish his hold on either of the daggers though.

She rubs the thin red line imprinted on her neck but she manages a shaky smile. "Thank you."

"Don't thank me yet. If I don't like your explanation I will finish you off right here." The smile disappears off her face as Nate steps slightly in front of me as if to shield me from danger. Oh that's cute. My sarcastic thought breaks through the building frustration curling inside me. I really, really hate being clueless.

"Wait! What the hell is a walker?" Only the girl seems fazed by my outburst and obvious lack of knowledge.

"You don't know what a walker is? Who are-" The girl doesn't get to finish because Nate sends a cold look her way. When he turns to me I can see a warning in his eyes. I guess I shouldn't have let on that I'm not educated on angel vocabulary. This girl could be anybody.

"A walker is an angel who refuses to take sides. Like they refuse to join the fight for angels but they won't fight for the Fallen either. It makes her harder to distinguish if she is, for example, 'good or bad.'" Nate explains and then turns to the girl. "Go. Everything about you and why you are here."

She reaches up and messes with a light blue beaded necklace at her throat. Like a nervous habit. Before she starts talking I take in her appearance. Very tall and thin (but it is a model-like-thin that looks good), with jealous worthy long legs, and a light caramel tan. Her chin is slightly pointed with honey colored hair that falls below her shoulders. She looks annoyingly gorgeous.

"My name is Ivy Delacour and I'm eighteen years old in Earth years. As an angel...well, I was born in 1374 so I'm not a young soul. Ever since this dammed war broke out I found no reason to fight something so useless as a feud." When Ivy notices Nate grow tense at her words she hurries on. "But my Guardian's healer was murdered in cold blood by Fallen. He was so devastated at his loss that he-" I can tell this is painful for her to describe as she looks up at the sky and takes a deep broken breath. "He had a Fallen stab him in the heart with that red stone dagger. I hunted the Fallen down and stole the dagger while he slept. I was going to kill him but...that's not in my nature. I have heard of the famous General for a long time. It took me four months to track you down."

"How is it that you found me? I keep my locations very discreet. Only my most trusted know where I am to be." Which would be Eliza, Royce and a few selected others.

"I tracked back to your history of battles and appearances. After I made a mental chart of times and dates it was really easy to find the next location you were going to be next." She said this with the ease of someone used to using her brain to solve problems.

"Wow...that's really impressive. So what do you want with us?" My question seems to frustrate Nate because instead of using a bristled tone I have genuine curiosity laced into my words.

Ivy's smile is so big and bright it crinkles her honey toned eyes. "I've decided to join a side. Nope, no more Walker for me! I'm a angel soldier, fighting for the cause."

Nate actually throws his head back and laughs. A deep sarcastic chuckle. "First of all we aren't selling Girl Scout cookies, we are at war. And war chips away at a persons soul and mind. You will watch you comrades bleed out, and die in the blink of an eye, and most of the time they don't come back. Are you really ready to hop into a battle field with your sparkly pink converses-" she looks down and blushes, "and to slice into an enemies stomach?" The way Nate says this sends chills down my back. For the first time I look past that sarcastic demeanor and what I see is something so tortured it tears at my heart.

But Ivy just hardens her smile and crosses her arms. "I'm going to do whatever it takes to get back at the Fallen that took everything away from me."

"You said killing was against your nature."

"I'll get over it."

"Your most likely going to die. Permanently."

"Is that a yes?"

Nate doesn't look at her again as he turns to me and winks. But I still see the lingering darkness in his eyes. "Looks like you have got yourself a sparring partner."

My head throbs and two Advil have done nothing to help me. My fingers are sore and my legs start loosing feeling. All my energy has seemed to seep from me without a hint of coming back. Algebra 2 has this effect on me every time.

After Nate drove Ivy to a small motel in the center of town, he didn't want her to know where any of us lived just in case, he took me back to Eliza's where Lily had a casserole in the oven. He didn't say much on the ride home but he did smile charmingly and walked me to the door. He proceeded to tell me the game plan for my schedule.

"Your going to stay at Lily's house now and go to school in the morning. As soon as school is over you will go to your job until five, and then you will train until seven. After I will drive you back here and you will do the usual; eat and homework." He chuckled at my shocked expression. "I know that you have a job at Smiths Cafe on weekdays from Eliza. Don't worry on Saturday you have training starting at ten and ending at one. Then you are all mine." His last few words come out as more of a threat than a warning.

After an hour of talking and eating Lily sent me to finish up homework as Eliza and Lily, who is staying here as well, do chores. Now I'm here melting my brains out with problems and formulas. When am I really going to need point-slope form in life?

But the quiet gives me time to think. My mind, heavy with everything that has weighed me down this weekend, overloads.

My house, burnt to a crisp, is going to take forever to be rebuilt. My dad is hospitalized and according to Lily, who got a call from the hospital, he is in critical condition and they don't know if he's going to wake up again. I don't know what to do with that. Ever since I was young my dad was power crazy. He loved the taste of power he had over me every time he would raise his fist and I would flinch. My mom was amazing at making me feel like so many different things. Fat, ugly, stupid, worthless, annoying. But her favorite phrase was, "Marie what the hell are you still doing alive? Go do something about that and save us all the trouble."

And a few times I had thought about it. What's a few deep gashes to the bruises that used to line my arm when I was young and defenseless. But as I grew older my dad couldn't hurt me anymore. It was the words. Whoever made the phrase 'Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me', needs to be punched in the face and then stuck with my mother so they can tell the difference.

What the little innocents of this world don't know is that words are what I remember. Scars and bruises have healed, even more so with my powers, but words are a ghost that hangs over my shoulder and whispers everything I know is true in my ear. I'm stupid, with grades that just barely scrape a B-. My looks are average, although my unique green eyes catch a few stares. And everything that she ever shouted, whispered, or carved into her arm is true as well.

I set my papers of homework on Eliza's desk and I gets up from her comfy chair. In a foggy daze I walk out of her room and into the bathroom where there is a large mirror. Looking anywhere but my eyes I slowly take off my light jacket. Exposing the underside of my arm I stare intensely at straight long scars that start at my wrist.

There is exactly fifty nine of them. My whole eighteen year life has come to a lot of scars and no family. I haven't really been tempted to heal these scars since they do serve me a purpose. They are the memories of what I've been through and what I've survived. Any deeper these cuts would have caused something even more deadly than faded lines.

Suddenly my head starts to swim and a familiar mist starts to envelope me. I'm having a memory.

"How can you be sure you are going to come home?! Or is some first year soldier going to bring your body back broken and bloody for me to mourn over?" Angry tears spike in my eyes as I face off with Nate in front of a fireplace. A window shows heavy snow falling and the gas lamp sitting in the window sill sends a gloomy look over everything.

"It's only a minor disturbance within the ranks of my shoulders and you know as well as I do that it's my job to fix that." His calm tone and posture sends me into a hot temper.

"Then send Eliza or Royce! Better yet send them together. They have taken a liking to each other. I'm sure a quiet secluded area is what they want."

"Why do you suddenly care so much if I leave? I know we have been going together for awhile now but these past few weeks you have been bitter about me leaving."

Because I love you, want you to partner with me so I never loose you. There's not one minute I can go a day without you and it kills me to see you go. Especially with a danger of never coming back hanging over your head.

But Nate can't hear my thoughts and the more I try to grasps some bravery to say it out loud the more I loose my nerve. He raises his brow and then turns to go to his room on the left.

I can't think of anything to say. Five more steps and he's gone into his room, taking my courage with him. I don't know what words would describe what I feel every time he looks at me. Four steps. How can I describe the intensity that evades my every sense when he kisses me. Three steps. And then something hits me square in the face on what I need to do. Two steps. With feet that blur as they rush across the floor, I grab Nate's arm and pull him around.

Without waiting another moment I press my lips urgently to his in a way to try and show how much his very presence means to me. And as my momentum carries us that last step through the door I feel courage rush back into me. Pulling back slightly I see the storm in his eyes and smile. "Nate Evanson I have never loved anyone. It's too dark a world for such a bright feeling as that. But every time I see you I feel a burst of happiness that can only mean one thing. I have stumbled upon something as sweet as love and you are the one who is falling with me."

He doesn't smirk or smile. He just breathes out a long suffering breath and wraps his arms tightly around my waist. "God....I've been waiting a long time to hear those words. You and I are family. Forever and always. Because I-" He stokes my cheek in such a gentle manner I feel like a butterfly has landed on my face, "love you."

We both let out a combined sigh that mingles for only a moment before we crush together again and with a harsh kick I slam his door shut.

Just as easily as I slipped into the memory I burst back out with a gasping breath. At first shock is the only thing clouding around me. At the prospect of saying the big three words to Nate, and then shutting us up in his room. But I'm not ready to really feel the impact of that right now. So I think of the other thing he said. Family. He said that I am his family. And for once I agree with him.

He is my family. But I couldn't live without Eliza, Pepper, Royce or Lily. Even though I had only just met Jem, the thought of loosing her sent a painful spike through my heart.

I have a family, that loves me and wants to protect me.

For the first time in a long time I go to bed with a lighter heart knowing I'm no longer alone. Not in a long shot.