I am meeting somebody. Let's call her T. She is as stunning and intelligent as my Ex, and way more caring and much sweeter. T has a lot of self-control, unlike her.

I had to admit I was quite shallow. I want to be the winner of this illusory who-recovers-faster-after-breaking-up competition. And "win" here means "no sorrow", or "having a better lover". I believe so. 

Oh well I know it doesn't work that way. But I just don't want to be sad. I don't want other to feel pity for me. Yes, I know what I should do: focus on myself. This is just one stage of the healing process. It will pass, and I will be okay.

But this stage is quite long. And I'm getting tired. At the beginning of the stage, I didn't want to do anything but crying. Pathetic! I know. Until I met T and got to know her better, she became my motivation since then.

When we are weak, we need other to raise us up, right?

But then the phantom of my ex decided to re-enter my life, affect this new-born relationship.