Edited, and reposted for The Wattys 2020,

On july 12th 2020

At first, all I wanted to do was leave. Then, all I wanted to do was calm Roxanne down. 

I had been forced to attend Nora and Ken's wedding, with Amber, and Tess who had been invited by dad. People didn't really know what was going on, but on the live we went on the same day, he briefly explained that she was his new wife.

There were lots of comments online, and lots of angry people online. We always made it feel like we were the perfect united family. Until we weren't and Cherry was replaced. When I left the scene three days ago, Cherry stayed there yelling at him.

I just wanted to leave now.

Everything was beautiful at the wedding, and that was the problem. There was nothing that had been ruined, or something that was going out of control. The white and blood pink flowers on the ceiling were sticking there in garlands. There were still summer backgrounds projected on the walls to make you forget the current snow outside.

Nora's favorite season was summer. Ken acted like her genie and made everything work. Even made me come. When she asked me about it, 'no' left my mouth without thinking. I slightly felt bad when she closed her eyes, frowning. But Ken threatened me, and I had to come.

When everything was set up for Nora's entry with her father, and the vows, everything from my perspective was stared unfolding in slow motion. I was seated in the first line, and watching Nora walking in the ally towards Father at the end. I noticed that the guy didn't look Asian. She wasn't. Maybe he died? Or just mixed?

I was cringing at the scene.

Gripping my red seat with two arms, I wished that's something would happen to take me out of there. Nora finished walking. Father took her hands, and stood in front of everybody with a man with an opened book behind. They were about to say the vows. I gaged, and several people slightly glared at me. They couldn't dare to do more.

They were about to agree to be with each other forever. Why did I even have to come?

Then I relied on God. I never really believed in him because I was not raised with a strong belief in him. My relationship with him was weak. Bu in that moment of weakness, there was only Him that could help me. And everyone has to start somewhere, right? I looked at an invisible sky.

God, please, if you exist, if you really exist, make me get out of here.

What happened after really shifted my perspective on Him. And even though I didn't start worshipping him very soon, I was mind blown by what the scenario he came up with to get me out of there.

Almost two seconds later, my phone rang. Without looking at the called ID, I ran out without a second thought. I knew it was my miracle. I didn't think about Tess, and Amber who were questioning what I was doing with their eyes, or the whole room that was following me leave now, instead of what Nora was doing, wondering why I suddenly stood up, and left.

It was really noisy with all the music. It's in the lobby that I finally heard a voice. "hello."

"hi-" I paused. And looked at the caller ID. It said Roxane. But it wasn't her voice. It was a man's. I heard the voice say a "shhhh" in the phone then 'I'm talking to her'.

Then I sucked in a breath when I vaguely recognized the voice.

It couldn't be. Was it really him? Even when he said his name, I didn't have time to process it, because there was something more needing of my attention. "It's Isic. Roxanne's kind of having a mental breakdown and she keeps calling your name."

I sucked in a breath again. That day, everything felt like it wanted to suck my soul out. Realization dawned on me when I opened the door. That's why last week she didn't want me to come see her. She was not just 'not feeling well'. She was having a rough time and didn't want me to see that.

"okay." I heard glass break on the other side. "I'm coming as fast as I can."

I was still struggling to put my coat on, and my boots were barely tied. When a freezing breeze hit me in the knees, I trembled.

It was cold. Roxanne must be feeling cold too because I didn't catch that she was feeling and, wanted to come see her earlier- before she started asking for me.

I was dreading getting there, and seeing the both of them. Their house still haunted me, even after all those years.

It was the cemetery of my amazing childhood memories with my greatest friend of the time.