Written 25th june, 2020

Posted sept. 3rd, 2020

On June 7th, I decided to take out Lucy.

I didn't love her, but it was something close to it, I believed.

I had deep affection for the broken child. In a way, she was just like me. Reserved, abandoned by her family, we looked a lot alike. It didn't help she had the same black hair.

I made all children write their "perfect holiday" list, then took hers. And made it happen today. It wasn't a real holiday.

Which made it even more special. Or that's what I wanted to believe.

We went to the bouncy castle first. I had sunglasses on, and a hat. My hair was spray-painted brown. I jumped like a crazy madwoman. When we went to her favorite fancy restaurant, she knew what I was doing.

"Is this a holiday?"

"are we doing everything you'd like to do on a holiday?"

"yes. " she said.

"then it is."

Her smile grew bigger. With her newfound knowledge, she seemed happier. I saw her pass from the shy child, reserved child, to a more outgoing person. She didn't change completely. But she still did, though.

All because I showed a little care.

The only issue was that Blake would keep calling me, "what did you eat for dinner? Did you exercise? Why do your heart rate not go up, then?"

He had access to my smart watch with my heart rate, number of steps, etc. Apparently, I had a mission with Calumn and his team, tomorrow. Therefore, I had to be in my best shape.

After the dinner, I eliminated any contact with him. After all, it wasn't on Lucy's list to be interrupted by the phone every twenty minutes. He would be pissed, but not mad enough to kick me out. I could tell now that he cared about my position in his team.

I turned off my phone, and deactivated my watch.

The last item on her list was the hardest; meet her mother. Obviously, I couldn't find her. When I stared thinking of a motherly figure, I realize the only option I had was to bring her to Nora. It wasn't her mom, and it wasn't mine either. But she wasn't so bad at being the perfect stepmother. She wasn't so bad.

Not for me though! Not for me.

It was Ramadan, the month of fasting for Muslims. Although I had suspected she was Muslim by her name, I didn't ask. And I didn't believe my dad would, just because he wasn't Muslim.

I watched the feast on our table at my childhood house. There was a lot food. Then after she prayed for a long time. Taraweeh, she called them. She was spiritual. Or was that religious. Either way, she radiate peace, a peace I had hardly seen in anyone. it was reflected in the way she talked to Lucy.

I could tell Lucy was delighted.

I was too. Because she had a fun time.

Then we left. But in front of the door, she took hold of my arm

"thank you for bringing someone good to me, someone I can help."

I didn't know who she was talking about; me or Lucy.

But I knew that tomorrow I had something dangerous to do, something I might not make it alive out of. So I gave her a quick sidehug.

I was the most I could do.

"no problem. I'll see you soon"

She was good. She was good.