Posted August 22, 2020

for the Wattys 2020

Throughout the whole week, I tried to be noticed by the almighty Blake.

Although it was challenging to keep his eyes on me for more than two seconds, all my efforts paid off. I got noticed by him. His reaction was quite disappointing, though.

I played close attention to his behavior and where he was during the day. In the same process, I also noticed where Calumn was; he was like his shadow.

The only time Blake could be caught paying attention to the new members in training was when they were working on the grass in the on the interior field. The only time he paid attention is when we were working.

I had to be noticed by him quickly for it to be safe for me to approach him safely. I needed to get to know him fast enough to report him to the police. I was playing with fire by being there. Fire was dangerous. It burns down everything- people and things alike- when angry.

Apparently, even though I could see him BLake, he did not exist in the records. Was he allegedly dead, or using fake name ?

I tried to outdo all of my "teammates" in everything- would it be cooking, taking a 20 seconds shower, running the targeted amount of laps the fastest. In a way, it felt like the army training Ken had given me when I was young.

I tried to be the best at everything. I tried to master my techniques, and to master my skills to standout. I even tried to stand out during the training and workouts. It may seem foolish but it worked.

Nothing is impossible.

I had coemption during the process. Two girls seemed to have gotten the same idea. There were two girls though they were also very fit. It was a challenge to be the best with them. They were really good. Maya and Alaska had a lot of endurance in running, and perseverance. They also got the work done. They never gave up on a difficult task.

Blake paid a lot more attention to us three. But I wanted it all. I needed it.

While focusing on the training and workouts, I was also paying attention to Calumn and Blake. I watched how they moved. The way Blake would scratch his head when he would be about to give us a speech. The way he would hit his hand on the table at random moments way more forcefully that he needed to do so. The way you would pinch his eyes when talking. And the way he would stand so stiff when talking to anyone know about anything.

I suspected he was faking his anger issues. Calumn too. Something about the timing of their outbursts was giving them away. It wasn't how me or any of my family members. It wasn't always the same thing that would set us off. We wouldn't always react the same way.

I also knew the calm side of Calumn. The angry side was forced. A hundred percent.

I could see flashes of their behaviors ingrained in my head. I would keep them there to analyze them later. I had that much power over my mind when I wanted to have it.

What he said when Blake talked to me after watching me continuously one day only confirmed my theory.

That day we had all been on the treadmill for two hours. two long hours of running in the sun at noon; maximum heat. The other 20 ish girls had already given up. There was only me, Alaska and Maya still running. I could see from Alaska and Maya's focuses gazes that they were set on not giving up any time soon. I didn't want to give up too. He was watching us at the side of an vacant track in the shade. I wanted to be congratulated by him. That mean I would be in a better position to speak to him.

I had to be the last one standing. It was as clear to me as the night of day.

Blake was like this beast everyone was afraid to talk too loud when around her, or do a faux movement. The only way a trainee would be able to approach him was if he acknowledged his presence. I saw other instructors inside looking outside from the window. Was him being down there a big deal, and already promising for me?

Everyone knew he needed a good reason to speak to a trainee. People in a higher rank, like instructors could. To some, it was impossible to be spoken to by him.

I would be the first. I pushed my legs to keep their pace. I would. I wiped sweat off my forehead. I hadn't a workout so intense in a few years.

we kept going for another thirty minutes, forty-five minutes, an hour, without water or food since 7:00 o'clock. I was starting to wonder if I was going to be the one to give up first.

But then almost on cue, the two girls got so tired their legs gave up under them, and they slid on the fast-paces treadmill to the grass. I continued for two more minutes, then jumped off. I held my knees, betn in two, as I was struggling to breathe.

Blake came running- running, he was that excited- to where we were. Some instructos came outside through the sliding doors to assist to the unplanned ceremony. He held my with an ion grip and forced me to upright my back. He tried to find a sticky note on my shit with my name. But it fell off earlier with the heat.

He had no choice but to ask me directly.

"your name?" he said. His voice was very deep. I never heard a voice that deep.

"Alexa." I said, between breaths. I was as read as a tomato, and as tired as an beat-up car.

He hit his fists on his pants, even though there was nothing to be mad about, or express your disagreement towards. I stopped myself from frowning.

"That was good." he said, before leaving.

I watched him walk away, dismissing everyone without a word.

Only good? I had almost died!

I fell on my back in the shade a few meters away.

This is going to be hard, I whispered, thinking about how to get him to trust me in a short month.

He's such a harsh critic.