Posted August 16, 2020.

For the wattys 2020

I really wanted to believe that Daniel and Cherry were loyal to me. but I couldn't deny the truth anymore.

They weren't.

From past experience, I knew that Daniel wouldn't meet me anywhere to tell him that the surgery had been postponed until further notice. I therefore decided to track him with the help of my electronics, and tell him.

I was not expecting to see him with a woman. And when I knew who she was, I wasn't expecting my mother.

I tracked his phone without any big problems, and headed out in a hoodie and sweatpants in my AirCar. I hoped out of it in a small street and followed him on a busy one in downtown. I didn't know Daniel liked the busyness of it. And I didn't even know he liked to wander there.

At first, I couldn't believe that he was with someone. Was it one of his friends who watches out for us when we meet? After analyzing the person's curves, I couldn't believe it was a woman. Was he married?

My curiosity got the best of me twenty minutes later. I texted him. Daniel. Right behind. Have some news to deliver quickly to you. I didn't have all day to follow him. In fact, I was risking blowing my cover by being Autumn instead of Alexa.

He looked behind him. I was a few meters away with no one blocking the view. Everybody was walking on the left. He extended his palm towards me. then bended his ring finger. It meant wait in the language we invented.

I kept following him. What I found storage was that the person didn't look behind her to see to whom he was gesturing to, almost like she didn't want to be find. That should have given away to me that I knew the person. But I trusted Daniel to not hurt me like that. In a strange way, I also trusted Mother to not do that too.

I followed them for a long time. They walked the road to a park. It took us thirty minutes to get there. Every time I would text Daniel Now he'd tell me to wait again. I was growing very impatient by the minute.

But I decided to still respect them both. I wanted to be a good sister for him at least once. When I started to grow older, it felt like I failed him in a lot of ways.

We started walking in the park. They didn't take the trail. I had to hide behing bushes and trees to not be seen by the woman with him. Up until that point, I still believed it was his significant other.

About the tenth time I texted him Now, she turned around. And I saw her face. My heart squeezed. Daniel instantly tried to meet my eyes. But my eyes dropped to the ground.

What...? The heck? Was that who I was trying to be good enough for?

I walked slowly towards them, looking at them with eyes that couldn't believe what they were seeing. Cherry didn't see me until I was up to them. Still had her head in the cloud always.

I whispered in Daniel's ears what was happening. At his ear, I second-guessed if I should tell him anymore. He knew where mom had been all this time. And he didn't tell me.

She lived with him. I could tell from his easiness, and happy mood. They weren't in a rush. They loved each other. Love. Something that I couldn't reciprocate, that made me not good enough to fight for in a relationship.

They were wearing the same joggers, and shoes.

But if I didn't tell Daniel, who would do it with me.

"We postponed the surgery until further notice. Stay alert." I whispered.

"good move you called." He said out loud.

I frowned. How did he know it was a good move, and that I called it? What if it had ben Johnny, or Lydia?

I asked none of those. There were a lot of people who seemed to be involved in my business. But for once, I didn't want to know how deep. Arms crossed, I turned around, completely ignoring Cherry's curious hopeful eyes on me.

Daniel didn't budge. I could tell from my peripheral vision. But Cherry's shadow moved. "Why won't you talk to me?" she said, coming to a stop in my way.

Straight to the point. At least she learned one good thing when she was away. "Because I want you to save your saliva for someone you actually love. Not on me."

She crossed her arms, her anger locking her features in a frown. "Your jealousy is making me sick young woman."

Her tone was haughty and so shallow. I hated it. I hated her. She didn't say that she didn't love me earlier. Maybe she does.

"you are also making me sick."

"he's your brother, for god's sake."

"it's because he's you favorite, and I will never be him. Go back to the house you both live in together." I yelled. I turned around her and walked away.

What hurt me the most wasn't that she walked back to Daniel, like I ordered. Although that took my breath away. It was that she didn't deny that they lived together.

I cried for hours in my new room that night. At some point, I felt Isic at the door. He didn't knock. But he didn't leave. He sat against the door. I could see his shadow under the wood.

I had wood under. Not automatic ones.

It was the closest I felt to someone. The fact that I could just turn the doorknob to talk to someone that cares for real calmed my nerves. I wouldn't do it.

The next day, I found myself in my lila-colored bed even though I slept against the door. I didn't mind him entering without my consent. Some of my rules are made to be broken during certain scenarios.

I could get used to a caring older bother who recognizes his mistakes in my life.