I wanted to know why Tasnim left the city without telling me before she decided to do so.

It wasn't like her. She was very attached to the city where she grew up in, and her family. She always told me her family didn't really want her to go away for whatever reason. But also, she always told me she couldn't find a reason to leave.

What was the reason now?

She sent me over text about a week ago that she moved, and was coming back soon to talk to me about it. But me being my curious self, I wanted to know before that.

I called her workplace two times to ask for her, and each time, they said no one with that name even dropped a resume.

A week later, in my AirCar with Tess, I was heading there; to heaven panama. I wanted to know the truth, and not juts have assumptions. 

I was in my AirCar, laying on a couch with my head against the window. It had been twenty minutes in the flight. We had an hour and twenty left.

After noticing me looking at it for more than five minutes, Amber looked at me over her pink glitter phone. "what's so fascinating about the sky right now?"

I looked at her. "I don't know. Feels like it will rain soon."

She lowered her phone to me better. "What's the problem with that?" I felt myself squirming under her attention. I didn't want to tell her what it was that bothering me anymore, because she'd probably think I'm paranoid.

But I was having a bad feeling. And the storm catching up with us to Vancouver didn't make me feel better. It was like a presage of what would happen.

The hour and twenty minutes passed by very quickly. I ended up reading a book, while Amber was on her phone the whole time. Back at the office, when Amber knew where I was going , she offered to come with me see Tasnim. She didn't know I was suspicious of anything.

I believed that she wouldn't be there. Amber was excited to see her. Her excitement died down a bit though when my AirCar landed, and we saw how deserted really Vancouver was. She was a spooked. If I hadn't had my bodyguards, I probably would have been spooked too.

There were barely any green tall trees, and barely no people around us. It felt like the city was abandoned. Even on the beautiful pathway beside the ocean, there was no one.

Heaven panama was five minutes away from the AirCar. 

My bodyguards were following us closer than the other times, and some were only three meters in front of us. Even though we were wearing wigs, sunglasses, and big hats, it was not enough. All someone needed was to recognize my figure coming out of the AirCar, and they would know who I am.

Always having to dress up was one of the cons of fame.

Heaven panama played in the gold and red tones. The hand script outside of the building was in gold. Inside all of the tables had red table sheets. When I opened the door, Hispanic music greeted us, as well as all the spices in the air.

It smelled good.

I walked to the front, with my big beige hat, and my sunglasses. "Hi. I'm looking for Tasnim Salam. Does she work here?"

"No." he said. Then he titled his head, scrutinizing me, and I knew what was coming. "you're Autumn Air." His lopsided smile made me smile.

I removed my glasses, and bowed. "In the flesh."

As Amber was removing her glasses, and hat, I saw another pair of the same grey eyes, and black eyes look at me from the glass in the kitchen . I bowed at him, too. He came out with dough in his hand.

"you guys eating something? What an honour to have you. " He was his brother's replica. I smiled apologetically. "not today. I just came here looking for someone."

"you both are twins, right?" Amber asked. It was obvious. It was also Amber's thing to want to make sure of everything. Me and Tess usually went with instinct. Or the flow.

"another time for sure." I responded, putting my accessories on.

"ye!" said Amber, putting her blue hat on, and cat-eye sunglasses, too.

Then, we walked to the door. "Don't tell the press we're here. " I called back. "or I'll hunt you both down." They burst out laughing at the same time.

they understood my weak attempt at a joke. I decided I liked their character, and coming back there in the near future to eat wouldn't be so bad. I didn't think they only wanted it to boost the number of clients. 

 "no press today." One of them said.

The door chimed when we opened it.

"this must not be the one." Amber said, looking at me in front of the restaurant. I couldn't see her eyes, but I knew they were on me.

"I don't think so. This is the address she gave me."

"yeah but-"

"Let's not jump to conclusions and, ask her ourselves." I led the way to the path beside the ocean, about ten meters from there. The path was beautiful, and the ocean, during that setting sun was looking gold.

It was also a variation of grey because of storm preparing itself.

I sat on the first wood bench I saw. Amber sat beside me, head on my shoulder. "I'm calling her. I have a plan. Don't say anything okay?"

She looked at me with a frown. 

"you have to let me talk." I said. The truth was that I didn't trust her. Not with that. I would never forget the day we were playing a prank on a kid at school a few years ago, and she went and told him in secret after she swore she wouldn't.

We were about to come on him during a water fight, and the five of us shoot him.

"fine." She lifted her head, and turned her body towards the water.

I dialed Tasnim's phone. She answered at the last ring. It was already a bad sign. "hey girl. What's up?"

"I'm doing good. What about you? How's amber?"

"we're all fine. How's work?"

She stopped for a few seconds. I could hear she was doing something in the background. "good. I like it there."

I felt a pinch in my heart. She was lying to me. "heaven panama, right?"

"yeah."

Ambrose looked at me. I put my finger on my mouth to shush her. she couldn't ruin my plan. But I knew she would talk soon, anyway. That was one of the thing I didn't really like about her.

"you know Tess, I really love about you your honesty, your kindness, your braveness, your fierceness and your selflessness. I just think you're an awesome person, and I'm-" I looked at the big mass of water. It was rocking harder. The waves were bigger, and scary. But there was something peaceful about it.

Because there was peace after the storm. Always.

I loved my friend, Tess. But could I tell her that? No. because I couldn't feel love, not like them. And if I couldn't feel it like them, then it wasn't love. It was something I didn't have a word for.

"I'm happy you're my friend. I like it when you're honest with me. Why did you move to Vancouver without telling us first?"

"Tess, we're in Van. Ori think you lied, and you don't work there. She wants to know why you really came. "

I looked at Amber's on my phone, close to the speaker. When she removed her face, I stood up calmly and walked away.

"don't you dare follow me."

Her voice was raspy. "I'm sorry. But she needed to know." She said, following me.

"Amber, you promised." I wasn't yelling. I was calm. That was the worst part. It's because I was mad.

"but-"

"shut up. Don't try to justify your low actions."

"but-"

"shut up amber." I could hear that Tess was still on the line, silent.

I started running away from her. the wind was blowing harder. I felt a few drops of rain o my cheeks. The storm was starting.

"you have to learn to respect other people's privacies."

I turned around sharply, fist clenched. She was really getting on my nerves. "It's about us drifting apart. I anticipate things. This is the beginning of the end."

She rolled her eyes. "no, it's not. You don't need to know everything."

I frowned. "respect my privacy now, then."

"no." she cried, running.

I ran a few meters at full speed. When I looked back, I saw that she stopped following me. I took a deep breath, and sat on the ground.

It's when I heard the sobbing.

"I'm sorry." Tess said. "I didn't know you felt like that."

" I do."

"I'll come soon. Sorry for hurting you."

"It's okay." Is it even possible to not be hurt by the people that supposedly care about her? And can we really not let is affect us?

I was starting to realize that the people who care about us are the ones who hurt us, even unintentionally, the deepest. So it was okay, or as 'okay' as it could get. I didn't forgive her. in my opinion, I thought forgiving means forgetting. And I couldn't forget what had happened.

But I could look past it. Or try my best to do so.

"no. you cant tell. It's a secret." Someone said beside Tess. I could recognize the voice. Was is Meredith, the girl I met when we went to the rollercoasters?

"I am telling them." Tess, said, no room for argument in her voice. "Autumn?"

"yes?"

"I love you." I didn't know what to do. I couldn't say I love you. But I decided to say the next truest thing I could tell her.

"I appreciate you a lot, too."

"I won't let us drift apart. Sisters forever, remember."

I laughed, remember our childish handshake. "yeah. We are."

Lightning struck, and rain started falling like strings from the sky. In a few seconds, it looked like I jumped in a pool with my clothes. Amber joined me a few minutes later. We sat in silence, surrounded by my on-the-lookout bodyguards who never left my side.

She said she was sorry. I knew she wasn't really. But when I calmed down, I knew she meant well, she genuinely believed it was the right thing.

I didn't fully forgive her.

But I was okay with her. it was fine. I didn't know if I would be fine the next day, though. I hired a few people to come search my house for any listening devices, viruses in my computers, and my phone, and search the rooms for anything suspicious.

The news I got after they were done weren't the best.

****

So, what did you think?

Do you think forgiving means forgetting? If not, what does it mean for you?

Also, let me know if you're participating in TheWattys2020. I'd like to know, so we can help and support each other :) 

Anyways, don't forget to vote, comment, and share. love you all.

With so much love, care, and passion

-Sel,