I woke up to my own song playing as an alarm. I tossed over to shut off the alarm and then sat straight to stretch. Before I would go to the bathroom, I played one of my own incomplete song. Sometime I would find inspiration in the morning when my mind would be fresh.

The first thing that I used to do every morning was my morning skin routine. Being a big celebrity wasn't a piece of cake. You constantly had to look good in front of the camera, walk with grace and maintain poise.

I was idolised by thousands of young girls, which made it difficult for me to be independent. As much as I loved and endured it, sometimes I just want to swear during an interview when the interviewer crossed their limits. Sometimes I wanted to eat a cheeseburger at the restaurant instead of ordering a salad.

I loved my life very much. But I craved those moments in life. Valerie offered me a ticket to independence. Coming back to Maplebirch was difficult for me since my body had adjusted to the spotlight. But at the same time, coming back to my hometown was mandatory.

Everyday when I was back at the city, I lost a piece of myself to social media. I've had so many breakdowns to look perfect or to compete with other models or celebrities.

I missed the time when I had real friends. When I could call them and cry about my petty problems or just talk to them. The fame took it away from me. I had to be careful while opening my mouth in front of any of my reel friends.

Sometimes they would expose my on social media and let everyone know about my insecurity. I still remember the time when Darla befriended me. I though she was genuine and I looked forward to spending my time with her. She broke ties with me once she got a thousand followers on Instagram.

I felt cheap so many times when guys would throw themselves on me or my backup dancers would touch me in my private places. I tried complaining to my manger, but he did nothing since he was just another power hungry man who gave no shit about me.

He even warned me to wear decent and proper clothes at all time because paparazzis are not to be trusted. Sometimes I envied Valerie and her freedom to wear sweatpants and shirt whenever she wanted.

The only time I heard my own genuine laughter when Rosalind came to visit me. She booked a ticket to my show and I promised we would hang out later on. Despite of the spat we had before I moved to the city, I hung out with her. I needed it.

But in the end, I'm very happy with the place I'm at today. I proved myself worthy and I love my job. I wouldn't have it any other way.

Once I was done with my skin care routine, I took a shower and walked straight to my closet. The only thing I had to do today was meet up with the McAllister's. Since Valerie went to the orphanage, she needed a short break. I don't blame her, all of this was too overwhelming for us.

I decided to wear black tights and a peach crop top with a butterfly printed on it. I also wore a silver bracelet and matching hoops. I gave the outfit a final touch by wearing a pendant which had Brianna Sawyer engraved with cursive on it. Demi Lovato gifted me this during my birthday.

I descended the stairs and went straight to the dining table which was decorated with chocolate syrup dripping on waffles, a glass of fresh juice and scrambled eggs.

My mom joined me shortly after and placed a soft kiss on my forehead.

"Did you make breakfast today?" I asked her.

"I did. I wanted to do sometime special for you and since you always whine about breakfast being the important meal of the day, I thought I would make you some." She gave me her signature smile.

"That is very sweet and kind of you mother, but I must warn you I won't be able to eat all this every single day, I just had pasta and nachos yesterday for dinner." I informed her, taking a sip of the juice.

"Why not?" She looked at me in confusion.

"I will have to return back to work, I cannot afford to look like a potato. I don't even work out here." I answered.

"Is this about you influencing number of teenagers? Because you do realise you make them conscious of their weight and give them eating disorders."

I dropped the fork and looked at my mother in pure rage.

"Excuse me? Are you holding me accountable for their eating disorders? The reason I'm supposed to eat healthy food and drink plenty juice is because I have a lot to do in a day. I'm supposed to go for rehearsals, dance practise, interviews and I also have my own charity foundation. I interact with a lot of people and my energy is supposed to be full the entire time. I just cannot slump my walking or when slow it down because I'm supposed to keep up with everything." I justified.

"I just-"

"You just what mom? Do you know how preposterous it was to blame me for something so serious? I've been there for so many of my fans who told me they wanted to be slim like me. I've showed them the difference. I'm not a monster. I've been going through so much back in the city.
Do you know how difficult it is to smile all the time when you're breaking on the inside? There have been countless rumours of me where I was slut shamed, fat shamed, people told me that I used to lip sync on stage and my actual voice is disgusting." Tears started streaming from my eyes as I broke down.

"There have been so many times when I just wanted to go shopping but I couldn't do it like a normal person as the moment I step out of my house people surround me. The constant flashlights, autographs and my guards having to follow me every where I go. Did you know, when I told them I couldn't perform the show, they threatened to leak a video of me saying I'm tired of this life and I want a break?" My voice broke and my mom just looked at me with pitiful eyes.

"It's so easy for my career to end. So, I have to work hard for it, I have to maintain my happy face. I have been conflicted so many time on whether to politely decline an autograph for some me time. I'm loosing myself every second over there and knowing Rosalind and Valerie were out there if I needed them kept me going, but now Rosalind is gone and I don't know what to do!"

"I'm sorry. I just wanted to...Never mind." Her voice trailed of. "Do you want me to make you some salad or a smoothie?"

I looked at her through my blurry vision and sniffed, "You cannot change me, mom. You cannot."

Without wasting another second, she got up from her chair and hugged me, letting all of the suppressed emotions out.

✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧

I tapped my feet on the floor, waiting for the McAllister's to open the door. My eyes were back to normal. All thanks to the magic of makeup.

Mr. McAllister opened the door and his eyes twinkled at the sight of me.

"Brianna! Come in." He greeted me.

I was led to the living room where Derek was already sitting, reading a book. I gave him a polite smile and gently sat on the couch.

"How are you holding up?" I asked Derek in a hush voice.

"I don't know. I feel numb all the time and the pain and guilt won't leave." He honestly answer.

"Why do you feel guilty?"

"I couldn't save my own sister, Brianna! I failed myself as a brother."

"No Derek. Stop blaming yourself." Mrs. McAllister joined us, looking at her son bitterly. "We all need to stop blaming ourselves."

"I don't think we will ever be able to let go." I whispered.

"Enough of this!" Rosalind's father spoke. "Everytime someone enters this house we get all depressed. I'm pretty sure Rosalind would have wanted us to stay happy no matter what."

"Couldn't agree more." I smiled. "So, I start touring after three months and I'm thinking you guys should come and see at the places closest and convenient for you'll. It would be great to see familiar faces in the crowd."

"I love that idea, Brianna. Can I get your autograph?" Mrs. McAllister asked.

"Of course!! Why not."

"Awesome! I'll bring my autograph book." She got up and Mr. McAllister went after her.

"While she gets her book, can I go to Rosalind's room?" I looked at Derek.

"Sure." He smiled.

I got up and speed walked to her room. I traced my fingers through all the furniture, a big and warm smile appearing on my face.

I stopped near a drawer and opened it. I shuffled a few books and found her diary.

The next clue wasn't that tough to crack. Rosalind always told her that the first thing when something huge and memorable happened in her life, she jotted it in her diary.

She was not secretive about it and also shared some pages of it with us. We never pried by insisting to read more, but today we had to do it.

"Are you planning to take it?" Derek asked, startling me.

"I hope you don't mind. I just thought it would make me feel closer to her." I told him.

"It's fine by me, but if you plan to read it thoroughly, you'll find out something-"

"I'll find out she was pregnant?" I spoke. "I know that. Lenny told us."

"Okay then."

"Why did nobody else in town knew? We asked around and not a single person had a clue." I began to investigate.

"When she started showing, she didn't leave the house. So, nobody knew." He explained.

"Were you ashamed of it?"

"It was her choice to stay home." He hissed.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to accuse you." I looked at him. "I should go."

Before exiting the house, I signed Mrs. McAllister's autograph book.

I texted Valerie that I got the diary and she immediately replied to meet her at her apartment.

I got into the car and stared at the dusty placed on my lap.

The diary containing answers to many unanswered questions.

Hello Angels.

So, I thought I would write a chapter in Brianna's POV and also give a little insight to her life.

Originally, I was going not going to include a diary, but I thought that it would make a lot of sense if there was one.

The diary is going to be the prime clue and will have a lot of answers ;)

Don't forget to vote, comment and share :)