Next day.

Alison was having serious second thoughts about being a Barbie Boll guinea pig. Her mother had spent the entire day (8 hours straight, she had counted) trimming her hair, making adjustments to her outfit and playing with her age-old Chanel makeup. But she had a sinking feeling that she was about to look like a badly dressed geisha the moment she saw herself in the mirror.

It was probably worth it though. Although her mother’s happiness came at the expense of her comfort, she was glad to see her mother’s spirits lift especially after that terrible row last night. Alison had gotten up at around midnight to get a glass of milk but she heard loud voices coming from her parents’ bedroom and there were loud thumping noises. If she were anyone else, she would probably have called the police, thinking that a murder had taken place and her father had dragged her mother’s dead body to be buried in the woods. However, she was someone who understood her parents so she merely went back to bed, fully well knowing that her mother would still rise up early the next day looking energetic and upbeat and her father would be in his usual I-can’t-be-awake-without-my-Starbucks-coffee mood even if both of them were engaged in a cold war which was frankly, quite a relief. That particular morning, the seat next to her felt empty, because its occupant was miles away in a prison cell and probably watched over by that sadistic Officer Chick but Alison held on to the fierce hope that Carrie would be able to emerge victorious over these trials and tribulations. For now, she would concentrate on preparing for “The Talk” tonight with Edward.

“I think blue eye shadow would go nice with your dress,” her mother said as she rushed off to rummage through her make-up kit.

“Sure,” Alison said accommodatingly.

Her mother came over and fingered  the pearls. “This was my wedding present from your grandmother.” Helen Goodall’s eyes went misty as she tried to recall the past.

“Wow,” Alison echoed. “Are these pearls real?”

“I think so.” Her mother applied some red blusher to her cheeks. “I’m giving it to you now.”

 “Why are you giving me something so precious?” Alison asked doubtfully.

“You’re my daughter. Who else would I give it to?” her mother answered. “Now, should we try the pink or red lipstick?”

“But Mu-Mother,” Alison cut in. “Shouldn’t you give this to Carrie?”

“Why?” Her mother was momentarily distracted as she tried to mix some of the lipsticks together to get a rouge brownish color.

“I mean….” She was forging into dangerous territory now but she just couldn’t stop. “Isn’t she your favorite daughter?” The unspoken assumption was now out and her mother lifted her head up in surprise at her words.

“What do you mean?” her mother repeated.

“Mother, you don’t need me to tell me, but I’m well aware that Carrie has always been more favored,” Alison answered exasperatedly. “It’s hard for me to live with but I can accept it.” She turned away almost immediately, knowing fully well that she might earn a hard-dealt slap in return.

“I think you’re mistaken, Alison.” Her mother frowned and put down all her makeup tools. “Is that what you have been thinking all these years? Tell me honestly.”

“Yes,” Alison whispered.

“Do you honestly believe that I’ll be biased?”

“But Mu-Mother, it’s the truth.”

Her mother closed her eyes and spoke slowly, “I won’t deny that we shower both love to Carrie but that is because she’s a youngest child. After yesterday’s incident-” With this, her lips pressed into a hard line. “-it has more than proved that you’re much mature then your sister and we trust you, that’s why we rely on you to take of yourself more.”

“But, what about Father?” Alison whispered. “He hates me.”

“Your father loves both of you a lot but he’s a man who does not show his feelings directly,” her mother continued. “You might not know it but we had a huge tiff because he was expecting a son and he was disappointed that we ended up with two daughters.”

“He was?” Alison was stupefied.

“I don’t think he has ever gotten over it but he has come to appreciate both Carrie and you. You should try and understand him. Your father is a good man, maybe he’s not perfect, but he’s definitely much better than some of the men I’ve seen,” her mother laughed.

“Well…”

“You’ll understand it one day when you establish a family with Edward,” Helen Goodall said wistfully.

“Mother!” Alison yelped. What was all this talking about marrying Edward? Although it was a rather nice idea (she would love to see him in a tuxedo), she thought it was hardly appropriate to talk about marrying a guy when she was only sixteen.

“Oh, Alison,” her mother’s face wrinkled into a grin. “You might not have noticed it but Edward really has it for you.”

“We’ve only dated for three months. For all you know, it’s probably just a short-lived romance.” Alison shrugged. It was a rather disturbing thought but from the limited experiences she had with boys, she knew that their attention span and liking for a girl was extremely short. Edward might not seem like such a guy but she wouldn’t be honestly surprised if he ended up hooking with Jessica or someone like that.

“Please, I’ve been in so many relationships before I met your father,” her mother argued as she tried fiddling with the lipgloss.  “This Edward kid is really intense about you. You can tell it just by looking at his eyes when he looks at you,” she paused dramatically. “-the most important question is, are you serious about him?”

“I am. I really do like him.” Who wouldn’t? After all, he had so many uncountable attributes: sweet, charming, delightful….

“Do you love him then?” Her mother had proceeded on to drawing her eyebrows.

That question caught Alison off-guard. “How am I supposed to know? I’m only sixteen. I’ve no idea what love is,” she replied slowly, twirling the last word with her tongue. The word tasted so foreign. True, it was such a common word she often encountered in many romance stories but she had never ever applied this…word to herself.

“You can love someone when you’re sixteen,” her mother hesitated, her hand paused in midair. “I met my first love when I was eighteen and I wasn’t any much older than you are right now.”

“Father wasn’t your first love?” Alison was astonished.

“That is reality. I remembered how fanatic I was about this guy and we almost talked about getting hitched out of high school,” her mother muttered. “But it wasn’t meant to be. He was whisked off to Alaska to attend university because his parents wanted to keep him away from me.”

“That’s sad,” Alison winced.

 It was funny how she kept discovering new stories and sides to her mother only after she had arrived in America. She remembered back in Japan, she didn’t talk much to either of her parents and the only casual conversation they had was during dinnertime with simple questions like: “How’s your day” or maybe “Have you made any new friends in school?”. During those times, her parents worked a lot harder than they did now and the Japanese curriculum was more rigorous so she rarely got to see, not even to say speak properly to them.

“Maybe things will end up well for Edward and you or maybe not but I’m quite relieved to say that this guy you have chosen is a nice boy.” Her mother arranged her hairstyle and placed a hairpin to keep a stray strand of hair in place.

“Who were you expecting me to date then?” Alison asked sarcastically as her mother made touchups to her hair. “Some guy with tattoos?” It was an entertaining thought but Alison was rather sure that if she had chosen Alex to be her boyfriend; her mother would be more averse to the idea.

“Hopefully you won’t,” she wriggled a finger at her. “As long as you’re happy, both your father and I would be happy so long as you don’t engage in intimacy before you’re a legal adult…”

“Don’t bother me with all that sex talk!” Alison groaned. This was so embarrassing to even think about doing it with Edward…..Still, she wouldn’t mind kissing that soft lips of his or stroking his tanned skin…. Alison almost slapped herself. She was behaving like some typical hormonal teenage and she definitely wasn’t one. But she still couldn’t help thinking….

“I won’t. There you’re done,” her mother stepped out of the way, leaving Alison to judge for herself and see her reflection in the mirror. Her outfit was the emerald green dress she had previously bought for the Cornwall Institution’s annual school dance (she still shuddered every time she thought of that) and her mother’s heirloom, the long pearl necklace, was clasped around her neck. She was wearing silver ballet flats and her hair was curled and let down like a brown blanket.

“Isn’t this a bit over the top?” She wondered if it was appropriate to dress like that and meet Edward when they were supposed to be discussing some serious stuff.

“The Lakeside Restaurant isn’t just any dinky restaurant. It’s the most expensive one currently opened in Seattle,” her mother retorted. “They wouldn’t let you in even if you turn up in the best tailor-made kimono.”

Alison was just about to laugh when all of a sudden, her mother clasped a hand over her mouth. “Oh no! I forget to hand a letter to you that came in the mail a week ago,” she rambled.

She almost chuckled. It was just typical of her mother to forget things like that. What letter could it possibly be? Her curiosity was aroused. No one had ever sent her a snail mail in America before except for official mailings from Cornwall or the occasional advertisements and surveys.

“There’s no time!” Her mother cried out as she looked at the owl clock in her bedroom. “It’s 4.30 already.”

“The date’s only at 5pm….” She wanted to delay the thing as far as possibly.

“I’ll give you the letter some other time.” She hurriedly pushed Alison out of the door.

“How am I supposed to get there anyway?” Alison asked as they emerged into the living room. It wasn’t her mother’s style to let her take the tube and get the dress messed up.

“Your father’s taking you.”

Alison’s blood chilled. She found her rigid father standing by the door like a frozen block of ice. She gulped. No way, she didn’t want to get into the car with him and despite her mother’s constant reminders and her frequent reassurances to try and foster a close relationship with him, she just couldn’t imagine herself being all chummy with….him. Okay, fine, her father.

“Since when do we have a car?” she squeaked.

“Your father rented it for the day.” Her mother hurriedly gave her the onceover check and smiled satisfactorily.

“All ready to go?” her father asked gruffly, not even bothering to take a look at her as he clasped the car keys tightly in his big rough hands.

“Mother…” Alison hinted.

“You promised,” her mother reminded again.  “Now, just go. It’s not good to leave Edward waiting there.”

Oh no. She really was going to get slaughtered soon.

By her own father, no doubt.

****

Alison sat silently in the car and her hands had turned clammy by the time they turned out of the driveway. The silence was practically crushing her and she suddenly felt the overwhelming need to make some conversation but she couldn’t come up with any topics. A scratch old record from the local radio station was flowing musically from the speakers.

“How’s school for you now?” her father unexpectedly asked. Alison took a peek at him. His eyes were still on the road and he made no eye contact with her, for which she was thankful for.

“Great. I…er… made some new friends along the way.” Alison didn’t mention that she was already at Cornwall for three months but seeing as how this was the first actual conversation she was forced to engage in with her father, she figured she had better keep her father up to date starting from Day 1.

“The Alex lad?” Her father didn’t sound too happy. Maybe he was still angry over Carrie’s incident.

“Yes. I’m also friends with Angela Weber. Her parents open a grocery shop at 4th Street Avenue.”

“The Webers,” her father answered approvingly. “Respectable bunch.”

“Uhuh,” Alison said irritably. Who really cared whether your friend’s family was “respectable” or not? The next thing she knew, her father might be telling her to start talking to people like Jessica because her family was rich.

“Are you coping well?” her father sniffed.

“Okay,” she answered. “Edward helps me out sometimes.”

“The Kingston boy,” he said a little awkwardly.

“Yes, the Kingston boy,” she answered. It was getting a little annoying. Her father was always just stating the obvious.

“Fine lad.”

“Yes, he’s a very decent boyfriend if that’s what you mean.”

“I trust you but don’t mess around, or else,” he cocked his head to the side to give his famous evil eye. Alison shuddered and nodded obediently. 

“Edward’s old-fashioned. He wouldn’t do anything reckless,” she defended.

“I can tell.”

Alison couldn’t discern whether that was a compliment as well. This time, she took a longer peek at her father. As a kid, she used to be so scared of him that she didn’t dare to even speak to him in the face and that fear still lingered even when she reached teen hood. Even with that, she secretly respected her father. He commanded authority in a way like a dictator and his demeanor was really compelling at times though he inspired fear as well. It was unusual for her to witness how he had aged. Fifteen years ago, he was a dashing American man with floppy brown hair over his eyes who was ready to move out of his small town in Texas just to further his ambitions. When her mother first showed Alison her parents’ wedding photo, she was so surprised to see her father smile in the picture. And quite surprisingly, her father’s smile was heartwarming and genuine and even his eyes twinkled. That was when Alison could really sense his happiness and joy when he married her mother. After years of laboring, the hard times had hardened his character and he no longer smiled as much, perhaps even ceasing smiling at all. Still, Alison wished she could catch a glimpse of him smiling in real life- just once would suffice- but there wasn’t a chance to begin with.

“What’re you looking at?” Shit, her father was looking at her and he seemed terribly uncomfortable She hurriedly shifted her gaze to the windscreen.

“Nothing si-I mean, Father.” When she was young, she remembered her father teaching Carrie and her to address him as “sir” until her mother put her foot down and demanded him follow everyone else on this planet and allow his own daughters to call him the normal way which was just plain old Dad. It had become a practice for her up until the age of nine so she slipped sometimes even now.

“Your mother has told you that I’ve given approval for you to date this Edward boy so you need not worry,” he continued as stiffly as ever.

“Yes, and I truly appreciate that.” Alison didn’t like speaking in such an Old English way but her father always insisted for her to be polite. It wasn’t too difficult back in Japan because everyone behaved in a similar fashion but America was a different thing. She really had to adjust her language pattern because she caught people giving her strange looks in school.

“How’re you going to manage when this Edward person goes to California in weeks’ to come?”

“I honestly don’t know,” Alison said truthfully. This was something they didn’t discuss and Alison certainly wasn’t going to tell Edward that she wasn’t confident in continuing a long distance relationship and she was truly hoping to work out a solution.

“Settle this soon. You don’t want to wait for him for so many years until he graduates.” Her father ignored a driver who was swearing some colorful language at him because he had cut his way.

“Yes, I’ll get onto it,” she replied brusquely, sounding more like his receptionist than his daughter.

For a moment, each one of them stared away uncomfortable. Suddenly, her father asked, “Has your mother told you about the scholarship?”

“What scholarship?” Alison asked carefully.

“You’ll know sooner or later.” There was an ominous tone to his voice.

“If it concerns me, I would like to know,” she answered. “Now.”

Shooting her a vicious look, her father frowned before swerving efficient past a black SUV. She swore the driver inside made a “L” sign at her father but as usual, he was unperturbed. “Your mother said that it would be more appropriate if she speaks to you herself.”

“Just tell me, I’ve the right to know,” she asserted, surprised that she hadn’t backed down or cowered in fear but then again, being in America somewhat changed her and she didn’t feel the need to listen to everything her parents’ said. She learnt to question a lot of things and her mother would say it was bad attitude but she appreciated the change. It allowed her to be more confident.

“Your Japanese school sent us a letter to tell us that you won one of their scholarships to go to auniversity.”

“But I left the school already…”

“The headmistress mentioned that yours would be a case of exception and that you would be eligible for it as long as you choose to attend a Japanese university the moment you leave high school at the age of eighteen.

“You mean… I’ve to return to Japan again if I accept it?” she questioned, sounding unusually baffled.

“Weren’t you very enthused about going back to Japan some day?” her father asked suspiciously. “You gave us the impression that you didn’t like America.”

Alison shook her head slowly. She didn’t know why but now, the option of going back to Japan didn’t seem so appealing to her. It was true that integrating herself into the American community was hard and it took some getting used to but she felt that she belonged here now. Even if she only needed to leave at eighteen, she would feel horrible for leaving behind her friends, Angela and Alex, and most of all….Edward. It was funny, but the three-month-old relationships she had fostered with her American friends were nowhere as strong as the ones she had in Japan, even with her best friend, Etsuko. And the thought of returning to the other side of the globe and being so different from the others there really put her off.

“I…don’t know, I’m really confused,” she admitted.

“The scholarship is really prestigious. You might want to consider it,” her father said neutrally.
“Does Mother want me to go?”

“Helen is fine with it. She’s really thrilled.” His voice only hid a slight injection of disapproval. “Of course, she would prefer if you could attend an American college but given our finances, perhaps, going to Japan might be a better option.”

“And you?” Alison blurted. She didn’t know what made her ask for his opinion. After all, if given her way, she would prefer to not consult him but she needed to know his opinion. It was as if without his input, she would not feel comfortable of going ahead with any decision she made.

“Me?” He sounded genuinely astonished. “Since when do you care what I think?”

Hello, he’s not as clueless as I think. Alison thought before coughing inconspicuously and recited theatrically, “It is only the duty of the daughter to seek permission from her parents before making a decision.” She almost grinned when she saw the squeamish look on her father’s face.

“Hm,” he continued staring ahead and without any much effort, he cruised past the red light. “It is a great opportunity for you but I would prefer it if you could grow up and live in America,” he answered.

“Why?” Alison was morbidly curious.

Her father paused. “I know how it feels like to start all over again in a new country and I do know it has been hard on both of you sisters. I was a youth in Texas who was in a hurry to get out of the stuffy climate and to shake off the annoying Texan slang but when I arrived in Turkey, I lost myself. I started to miss home a lot even if there was no one waiting for me back in America,” he cackled and Alison almost jumped at the sound of his voice.

“So you think I shouldn’t go?” she asked cautiously.

“You can but you need to ask if you’re willing to give up everything here. I will tell you that the reason why we returned back to the States was because your mother and I got so sick of living abroad that we still ended up back here even when both Helen and  I originally resented living in America,” her father muttered.

“I see.” Alison couldn’t believe she had one entire conversation which lasted 17 minutes exactly (she counted) but her father’s words actually made real sense.

“Remember, you can go back to Japan or some other place to travel or work but your heart will always be back in your homeland, here, even if you don’t know it. Japan is a fine country, advanced technology and all of sorts, but do you really want to spend the best of your years in college in a country where you’ll always be treated as a foreigner?” her father frowned. “Circumstances are the ones which push us to make certain decisions but family is the most important factor. We’re here by the way.”

The car jerked to a stop and her father turned to look at her, expecting her to get out.

“Thanks….Dad,” she mumbled.

“No problem, my duty,” he answered grumpily.

“Dad, let me give you a hug, will you?” Alison asked timidly.

If her father was surprised by her request, he didn’t show it. “Whatever, I don’t care.”

Stretching out her arms, Alison wrapped them around his father in an awkward and somewhat reluctant embrace. Barely two seconds passed before her father pulled abruptly away looking all red-faced before mumbling, “You’d better get out of there.”

“Bye Dad.” Alison smiled and hopped out of the door and headed towards the restaurant. She didn’t manage to witness it but she would have been proud had she seen a single drop of tear roll down her father’s cheeks as he watched her leave.

***