March 2005, NYU

“I really hate that man,” Liam uttered after he took a sip of his coffee. His eyes were pointing directly ahead, right behind Zach’s shoulder.

His friend looked behind him and snorted. “What? Cameron? Then make Chanty ditch him.”

“I’m planning to.”

“You always say that. You like her and you are not doing anything. You should do something before she will officially be out of your reach.”

Liam took a deep breath. Chanty’s gaze hovered over to them and she immediately averted her eyes when their gaze met. How could he make a move if she didn’t even want to see him?

2013

“Well?”

Chanty just stared at Liam. She didn’t know how to answer that one. It was late to back down now. Philip would be even angrier if he found out about the lie. And she certainly wouldn’t want to risk having Cameron know the truth.

Would she really lie to her son about all this to protect him?

Yes, she would.

“I’ll talk to Willie. I don’t want to overwhelm him. We’ll take it slow.”

Liam stared at her for a long time and finally gave a nod. “I understand. We’ll take it slow. I don’t want my son to be afraid of me. I want him to know me first.”

She closed her eyes. Oh God, this was difficult. Lying to Liam was bad as it was and telling her son a lie was just unimaginable.

“We don’t have to tell him everything if you’re not yet ready, but I want to meet my son, Chanty.”

That was good enough for her. She didn’t have to tell Willie anything. The hell with Philip if she didn’t. Surely he would understand that the child would need time to know his real father. “Thank you,” she whispered, looking at Liam.

“I know this is hard for you as well, Chanty. But sooner or later, Willie has to know.”

She was grateful he didn’t press the matter of telling Willie everything. She may not know the man well in a more personal level, but she was grateful that he was ready to do all these things for her. Things would have been much easier if Liam was the real father.

“Have you thought about what you should say to Willie?” Philip asked them before they even got the chance to sit down.

“Yes.” It was Liam who answered. Chanty was still at a loss, rehearsing the words she had to say to her son. She only hoped it would work.

“And?” Philip asked them, his eyes peering down particularly at her.

“Babe, come on, you cannot seriously ask them to spit every word out,” Cassandra uttered, rolling her eyes.

Angelica nodded. “Yes, I completely agree.”

Chanty threw her friends a grateful look.

 “It has to come simultaneously from both of them. You are not Willie,” Cassandra added.

“So you better be contented that they agreed to your plan,” Angelica finished.

It was a wonder how the two women could finish each other’s sentences now when a few years ago, they were ready to pounce on each other. Philip sighed after he saw his wife’s look. Cassandra was looking at him with her eyebrow arched high, daring him to contradict. “Fine,” Chanty heard him puff out and she was finally able to breathe. She was not very good at lying to her brother.

“Then you guys pick your son and have a talk,” Cassandra said, standing up with her hands on her belly. “My husband and I have to see the doctor.”

“The doctor?” Philip asked.

Cassandra looked at him in disbelief. “You forgot.”

“Of course, he did. They always do,” Angelica rolled her eyes. “Henry said he was on his way here,” she took out her phone, “but I know where he really is right now.”

“Where?” Cassandra asked.

“On a freaking mission. He doesn’t tell me but I know for certain he is,” Angelica answered, looking at her nails while her other hand was holding her phone to her ear.

“Isn’t it dangerous that you are calling him while he’s out on a mission?” Chanty asked, happy to change the subject.

“He knows I call him anytime and this is why the freaking phone is off!” Angelica threw her phone back in her bag and stood up. “I have to go home before him. I have lots of doors and windows to bar.”

Philip shook his head and started to head out of the café. Cassandra followed after him while waving Chanty goodbye, Angelica walking briskly beside her.

When they were finally alone, Liam was looking at the door, his mouth open.

“What?”

“Angelica is still Angelica.”

“Don’t tell me about it. Are you ready?” she asked him.

He stared at her intently. “The question is: are you?”

Chanty lived in a modest home, far from what Philip and Cassandra lived in. She had a four-bedroom bungalow that had a green lawn in front. You wouldn’t dare think that a Strindberg was living there if you didn’t know.

“Nice,” Liam uttered as he pocketed his keys and looked at the white-painted house.

“It’s not something grand,” she uttered, stepping beside him.

“It’s what you would call a home,” he countered.

“Willie’s my home and he’s inside with his babysitter. I call her whenever I can’t take Willie to Philip and Cass. Let’s not hold this up and talk to him.” Without another word, Chanty squared her shoulders and walked to the door. Liam followed behind, his heart beating fast. It was like how he felt when he first saw Chanty a few months back.

But this was different in a lot of ways. He had only seen Willie once, during that party for Cassandra’s pregnancy. And he didn’t even have the chance to spend time with the child. He had been surrounded by his Strindberg great grandparents. And Chanty didn’t even spend more than five minutes with him that night. And the next months that followed, after all the meetings they had, Liam never had another chance to meet her son. Okay, correction. Their son.

Liam watched as Chanty held the knob in her hand. Her hand was still for a while. He waited as she made the final decision. When she finally turned it, he let go of the breath he didn’t know he was holding.

“Mommy!” Liam heard a boy’s cry the moment Chanty pushed the door wide open and stepped inside.

“Hi, there, buddy!” Chanty knelt and met her son’s running hug. She buried her face in Willie’s neck as the brown-haired boy hugged her. Liam was smiling, enjoying the view. Nothing could beat the overwhelming bond between a mother and son. And Willie was his son as well. He looked very much like Chanty.

“Who’s he?” Willie asked, his brown eyes peering over Chanty’s shoulders. For the first time in his life, Liam felt insecure in front of a child. He gulped.

“He…” Chanty uttered, grabbing Willie and hugging him close to her as she stood up, “is a very dear friend.”

“Friend? Like Aunt Cass and Angie?”

“Yes, like aunt Cass and Angie, but he is a boy just like you,” Chanty said, turning around to face Liam. Willie shifted his upper body to continue looking at Liam. “But I have to tell you a secret,” Chanty said and whispered in her son’s ear.

Willie’s brown eyes glittered with amazement at what his mother was telling him and when they moved to look into his, Liam felt a tight feeling in his gut. He couldn’t point it out, but the child had that intelligent spark in him that one would think he was a grown man. Was it what they called an instant connection? Like a father and a son had?

“Is that for real?” Willie gushed, turning his head sharply toward his mother.

Chanty smiled and nodded.

“So he is more than your friend.”

Once again, his mother nodded.

“And,” Willie stopped himself, took another look at Liam and leaned closer to his mother’s ear and whispered.

Chanty looked like she was taken aback. Liam knew what she told her son, but what did Willie ask?

He saw Chanty’s eyes water. This was difficult for her. “Yes, Willie, he can be your special friend too.”

Willie looked at Chanty for a long time, his face unreadable. His head turned to Liam once again, his eyes curious. Then his face gentled and he started to smile. “Hi, I’m Willie.”

Liam smiled and held out his hand, “I’m Liam.” The moment he held the boy’s hand, he didn’t want to let go. He should have held it when it was just the size of a meatball. He should have heard his first cry.

He should have been there.

Willie took his hand and shook it vigorously. “What do I call you?”

Chanty was almost at the brink of shouting, “Stop! This is all a lie!” But seeing her son look up at Liam with that glint in his eyes, she couldn’t. Her son would look at Philip and Henry with a certain glint in his eyes, but they were just people whom he could never have for himself. And Chanty knew what her son was thinking at the moment. Liam was different. He was different because he was her mommy’s special friend and he could have Liam for himself. Like a dad he never had.

She felt a pang in her chest and it travelled down to the tips of her fingers. This is all for you, Willie. You will understand someday.

 “For now, why don’t you just call me Liam?” she heard Liam answered.

“You are going to marry my mommy?”

Willie would never cease to surprise her and his question surely did just that—again. “Not yet, honey. Liam and I are still dating.” She swallowed the lie. She hated doing it.

“Dating?”

“We go out, get to know each other and we try to have fun,” Liam answered.

“Can I come?”

“Most of the time, of course,” Liam answered.

Willie’s face turned curious. “Most of the time? Not all the time?”

“If you want to come all the time, I think I won’t be able to marry your mom,” Liam said playfully.

Chanty threw him a look. He couldn’t give the child false hopes. And it dawned on her. Was Liam thinking about marriage? Oh, God, please no…

“And you are going to live here with us?”

Again, another question that surprised her. Liam, on the other hand, seemed amused.

“Honey, you are asking too much questions. One question at a time, okay? Why don’t you show him around the house?” she said, gently pushing her son toward the living room.

“Let’s go, Liam,” Willie said with a giggle. “It’s my first time to call a man with his first name. Uncle Philip wants the ‘uncle’ name. And Aunt Angie wants me to call her husband uncle Henry as well.”

“Well, then, no one’s going to let you call me uncle. That’s the last name I want you to use,” Liam answered and winked at Chanty as Willie grabbed his hand and pulled him along the hallway.

“Would you like to see my room?” Willie asked, already leading Liam toward his door.

The babysitter was already packing when Chanty walked inside the kitchen.

“I’ll go ahead, Ms. Strindberg.”

“Thanks, Amy. And oh, Cassandra won’t be able to watch over Willie tomorrow. Can you make it?” Chanty asked.

“Sure, Ms. Strindberg! See you tomorrow!”

She heard Willie’s shrill laughter from the other side of the house and she smiled despite the great worry that she felt. Part of her wanted to drag Liam away from her son and tell him to stop being nice to Willie. She didn’t want her son to get used to the idea that Liam would stay for good. A father had always been Willie’s wish ever since he learned how to make a wish to Santa every Christmas. Chanty had tried hard not to introduce him to the men she had dated in the past in fear that Willie would demand for their presence all the time.

But Liam was a different matter entirely. He was here because of her lie. Maybe she would try to talk to him again. He might just listen this time.

She could hear Willie and Liam’s deep voice talking. Liam was treating Willie like a grown man. He didn’t talk to him like how other adults would and Chanty was able to appreciate that. She wanted Willie to grow up with certain confidence and integrity.

Chanty made coffee and as she watched it brew, she thought of how she could fake the DNA test. Cameron would surely make it certain that he could get it and she had to think fast before he could. Maybe she should talk to Cass and Ange about it soon.

“Hey,” Liam’s voice startled her.

She turned around from the window she had been facing. “Hey.” She searched and asked, “Where’s Willie?”

“He’s busy building an edifice that would take down the one we’re building. He’s doing it with multi-colored blocks,” Liam smiled and started walking toward her.

She just nodded and went to get two white mugs.

“I am glad you agreed to this, Chanty” he uttered as he watched her move around the kitchen.

“This is the best I can do, Liam,” she answered honestly.

“Would you freak out again if I,” he said as she poured coffee over one mug, “suggest a DNA test?”

Her hand stilled. Yes, she thought of faking the DNA test, but she couldn’t do it soon. “Yes.”

She handed him his mug and he took it, looking at her as she averted his gaze. “Why? Cameron won’t rest until he is proven wrong.”

Chanty tried her best to meet his gaze this time. “Willie just met you, Liam. We can’t let him go through this DNA test without telling him what’s going on. I want this to go smoothly for him.”

“He already knows we’re dating. He’s a smart kid and I think he will understand.”

“Already knows? What do you mean by that?”

Liam took his time as he sipped from the mug.

“Liam, what do you mean?”

His brown eyes looked at her intently. “That’s the truth. We are dating.”

“What? No, we’re not.”

Liam took a step toward her, leaving just a foot of space between them. “We are dating, Chanty. And it starts now.”

“Liam, you’re taking this the wrong way--”

“I’m serious, Chanty. I am not letting you go this time.”

This time?