*trigger warning* sensitive content in the last pov

I scrubbed and scrubbed the floor until my hands were sore. It was already dawn and I had been scrubbing the floor for almost two hours. The stains had disappeared but my guilt still remained. It was slowly chewing me up from the inside like termites, decapitating me and making me weak.

No matter how much I tried I couldn't stop the fresh tears from pouring down my face.

I killed someone whom I had once loved and raped someone whom I claimed to love. If someone had told me I would commit either of these offences a few months ago I would've laughed in their faces.

The shattered table and pillow that Olivia had laid on had been dumped into a desolate lake located a couple of hours drive away. I had gotten rid of her body, car and everything else first thing last night. Now here I was cleaning everything over and over again. I got up and looked around to check. I then proceeded to wipe the door and other surfaces to get rid of Olivia's finger prints, mopped the floors a couple of times and vacuumed for any blond strands of hair.

All the while I tried my best not to think of what Samantha was doing. I would have to deal with her eventually but no matter how guilty I felt I still was a a bit angry with her. If she had only just waited for me downstairs none of this would have happened.

Right now all I could do was pray that no one would trace Olivia's disappearance back to me. I had handled everything with gloved hands last night so hopefully even if the police found her remains, I might not get caught. Somehow I was too paranoid to believe that.

I decided to throw the couch with the missing pillow away as well. I stuffed the other pillows into a large plastic bag and headed outside towards the dumpster.

"Good morning Jerry!" the shrill voice of Mrs. Chastain made me jump. What was she doing up so early?

"Good morning," I replied turning towards her reluctantly.

"Doing some spring cleaning?"she inquired nosily as she pulled out a weed from one of the pots in her garden.

"Erm yes, its that obvious, isn't it?," I laughed nervously knowing how quick my neighbor was at catching the slightest details of everything.

"You don't look like you slept well. Must be because you had company last night, eh?" She placed her hands on her hips and smirked at me.

"I remember that blond girl who used to come over here often. I see you two have rekindled your romance. I'm so delighted for you Jerry!"she said as she clasped her hands together excitedly.

My blood ran cold and I froze in place at hearing this.

"You must've seen someone else. I didn't have anyone over yesterday," I replied focusing on the plant in her hands to calm myself.

"Oh, you don't have to be shy around me sweetheart. I was young once too, you know?" she teased but I didn't find it funny in the least. "I recognized her car the moment I saw it. Beautiful girl Jerry, a bit on the heavy side but beautiful nonetheless."

I bunched my hands at my sides to control my anger. "Has anyone ever told you to mind your own business?" I snapped earning a look of shock look from her.

Realizing that was probably not the wisest thing to do I took a deep breath and regained my composure.

"I mean yes she did come over but I'm sort of seeing someone else so I made her go back soon after. You didn't see that?"

Still open mouthed, she finally managed to reply. "I don't think so, must've been asleep by then." She quickly turned away and continued weeding.

"Well then, Good Day," I replied as chirpily as I could before I went back inside. She gave me a small wave over her shoulder but didn't say anything.

A familiar sense of foreboding washed over me as I realized it was only a matter of time the news of Olivia's disappearance would surface and Mrs Chastain being the good Samaritan she was would definitely tell the police what she knew.

I was as good as dead now. I couldn't kill Mrs Chastain as well, that would be like digging my grave even deeper. Looks like Samantha was right, we would have to run away together.

***

"Now what do we have here? Public harassment, vandalism of public property, you even attempted to strangle someone in public?" DI Morgan placed a folder unto his desk and looked at Ben seriously.

"Well first of all, the first and third offenses are kinda for the same reason and second of all I didn't vandalize anything. All I did was spray the words "Have you seen Samantha?" because the stupid security guard wouldn't allow me to put up a flyer," Ben replied stubbornly as he sat in the hot seat across from the inspector in charge of Samantha's case.

"Look son these are serious allegations here. You can't go around harassing people about Samantha's whereabouts and then strangle them for not cooperating."

"That guy was an asshole and you know it. He was telling everyone he knew her. He told me she's become a stripper somewhere and that he got a lap dance from her," Ben stared at the inspector angrily. "Isn't that an offense too?"

"Yes we interrogated him and have charged him for providing false information. You see despite what you think, we are doing our job Ben." The detective inspector looked at Ben sternly before he opened a jar of pickles on his desk and popped one into his mouth.

"Yeah, well who lead you to him?" Ben muttered earning him a glare from the inspector.

"Look here son we're doing the best we can. The only thing you can do is sit tight and wait, comprende? I know you meant well and I like you boy so for now all you get is a warning. But if I hear anything else I'm going to have to take you in."

"I--," Ben wanted to retort but their conversation was cut short by another officer.

The tall officer who looked much younger than DI Morgan gestured for him to come closer before they started whispering in the corner.

Ben tapped his fingers on the table when he saw Samantha's folder peaking out from a massive pile of papers that were stacked on top of each other. He looked back at the officers, DI Morgan was looking at some papers in a completely different direction so he quickly pulled out the file.

He made no noise as he quickly glanced through the papers. When he came across Samantha's confession letter, something about the writing made him think back to a few weeks ago when a familiar situation had occurred.

He wanted to smack himself for not thinking about this before. If she hadn't written the words in the envelope, maybe the same person who forged her hand writing before had written this letter as well.

Checking again to make sure no one was looking, he folded the piece of paper and stuffed it into his pants. He was about to put the file back when the younger officer pointed at him.

DI Morgan looked his way and then laughed. "You know you're not supposed to touch that, don't you?"

"Actually I didn't," Ben lied and placed the envelope back into the pile. "Sorry won't happen again." He smiled innocently and lifted his hands up in surrender.

The inspector eyed him suspiciously and he could see the younger inspector eye his pockets when he stood up.

"Okay I have other things to do son. Please keep out of trouble, okay?" the older man sighed as he twisted the ends of his mustache. "There's bound to be people making up stories to gain attention, you don't have to go around beating up all of them."

Ben laughed in response and nodded his head. "Okay inspector, I'll try my best."

He rushed out of the police station and to the Forensics department in the university. It was time to pay Andrew another visit.

His pulse was erratic, knowing he had just committed a serious offense by 'borrowing' confidential evidence both thrilled and frightened him at the same time.

He was glad he had kept the envelope. He took that and the confession letter and rushed quickly to the forensics lab. Hopefully the half finger print on the envelope would match something on the confession letter. It was a long shot, he didn't even know if half prints could be matched but it was at least something.

"Ben is this what I think this is?" Andrew asked in alarm as he handled the letter with gloved hands.

"Don't freak out, it will be back in the police station before they even realize it's missing," Ben replied hoping he was right.

"Woah, I don't want to get into any trouble Ben," Andrew dropped the paper unto the table and stared at him. "Why didn't you just hand in the envelope to the police?"

"Because they've been nothing but useless this whole time Andrew. They've been too busy charging me with useless offenses instead of actually looking for her. They think she ran away and I know she didn't. I just know it, she would never give up and leave her parents, her friends, me." The last word came out as a whisper and Ben felt his eyes water slightly.

He walked back and forth and ran a hand through his hair. "You have to help me, I couldn't live with myself knowing I didn't do all I could to help find her."

Sighing to himself Andrew nodded and picked up the paper. "Okay fine but you have to promise not to mention my involvement to anyone."

"Deal."

***

Blue skies, bright green trees, sundresses, flowers. Samantha tried her best to envision the things she loved most. The things she used to take for granted. She imagined herself in a bright yellow sundress running in a meadow full of sunflowers with her parents watching and Ben by her side. They were holding hands and laughing as the bright sun kissed their skin.

The throbbing pain from her head brought her back to reality. Sometimes it felt like a nightmare but there was no waking up from this one. She knew that now.

The Jerry she saw last night was a monster, a murderer and if she hadn't screamed who knows what would have happened. Samantha shuddered, remembering the way he had looked at her before dragging her over to the table.

This was the real Jerry, not the polite imbecile who forced her to have dinner with him every night.

She hated him. He was the most insane person she had ever met. She couldn't believe he actually killed someone to keep them together. She placed her head in her hands and wept silently. If he could go to the extent of killing someone just to keep her a secret then there was no doubt he would do the same to her if he needed to.

For the hundredth she wondered how her life had come to this. She wondered what he was doing right now. Probably covering his tracks and plotting on how to get rid of her as well.

She stood up and paced the room nervously. There was no way she would give him the satisfaction of killing her. The only thing she had left that he hadn't already taken was her life and she intended to keep it that way.

She noticed the table had dented in the middle and the plastic had cracked slightly from the impact of their struggle.

She walked towards it and pressed forcefully on the cracked part. Sure enough the plastic gave way and small pieces fell to the floor creating a hole in the center.

Bending down, she picked up a piece with jagged edges and eyed it carefully. She then went to the bed and sat down. Without thinking she placed the sharpest edge -which wasn't as sharp as she would have hoped- and brought it over her wrists with as much force as she could muster.

She winced in pain and tears escaped her eyes when she saw blood escape the wound. It was superficial and she knew she would have to cut deeper to create some real damage.

As she tried again, she cried out in pain and stopped thinking maybe this wasn't such a good idea. She wanted to live, she didn't want to go so soon but then the thought of him ending her life was just too much to bear.

"I must do this," she reassured herself shakily. With her new found determination she cut deeper and more forcefully this time. When she saw the rapid amount of blood escaping she knew she had severed her veins.

She proceeded to do the same on the other hand all the while screaming in pain and finally when she was done she leaned against the wall and waited.

Samantha felt her hands going numb and her whole body felt weak. She tried to lift up her hand and laughed when she couldn't. It was only a matter of time now. She had beat him this time and now she would be free. As her vision blurred and her body slumped further against the wall, she closed her eyes and let the the darkness consume her.

Just want you to know that I do not in anyway support self harm and suicidal tendencies. In Samantha's case she thinks Jerry is going to kill her.

Anyway there will most probably be an update after Wed. If you like what you've read please vote/comment/share. Every notification makes me smile you have no idea.