HI GUYS. I KNOW YOU HATE ME BUT JUST GIVE THIS BOOK SOME TIME. I LEFT OFF AT A BAD PART FOR THE HIATUS BUT THE BOOK WILL PROGRESS ON FROM THE BREAK UP <3

The week goes by sad and slow and I'm surprised I survived it when I wake up on Friday morning. My routine is disrupted by Diego's absence in more ways than I realize. In example, on Monday when I arrived at school, Sage called out to me to see if I wanted to get breakfast with them. After a quick examination of the three guys with her, I forced a smile and shook my head, telling her 'some other time.' Chemistry is also awkward. Roman tries his best to make me laugh and not feel uncomfortable at having to sit directly behind Diego but it doesn't work too well. I'm too aware of his presence to engage in much conversation. Also, every time I'm in the hallway getting my homework for study hall, the familiar band of friends walks down the hall and Sage or Quincy asks if I want to join but I just decline and say I have homework.

As for work, Diego doesn't stop in for the half hour before the start of his shift, which I didn't expect him to. He does, however, wait with me until my brother picks me up. He tries to be inconspicuous about it but I know him better than he realizes. He'll always loiter around outside of the shop until my brother's car pulls into the plaza. Then, he'll walk to his bike and start it up. It's endearing but I wish he'd stop.

Sage asks if I want a ride to school on Friday morning and I agree. She pulls up outside of my house earlier than I'm used to. I step out into the foggy air and approach her familiar car, which is empty. "Good morning," she greets me.

"Morning," I respond tiredly.

"How are you?" she asks casually but I can tell which answer she's looking for. 'How are you taking the whole Diego thing?'

"I'm fine...how are you?" I reply.

"I'm good," she says with a nod. "The guys miss you, you know?"

"All of them?" I ask as I keep my gaze out the window.

"Some more than others," she responds. "He wants to talk to you"

"Again?" I retort with a scoff.

"He wants to be your friend," she replies.

"So he was serious about that?" I mumble.

"Yes," she agrees. "I think you should give him a chance."

"I gave him a chance and look what happened," I mutter.

She sighs quietly. "You should talk to him. I think it'll help both of you."

I offer her a shrug as we get closer to the school. "I don't know," I reply. There's a brief silence before she speaks again.

"Do you want to hang out with us at my house tonight?" she asks. "I can pick you up and drop you off."

"I work until 8," I respond as we pull into the parking lot.

"If you decide you want to after work, just let me know," she assures me.

She parks in her usual spot and I notice the familiar motorcycle parked to the left of us. "Are you coming to breakfast?" she asks.

"Some other time," I give her the same excuse as I unbuckle my seatbelt. "Thanks for the ride."

"No problem," she says. I get out of the car and feel Diego's gaze on me from his place leaning against the bike. I don't acknowledge him and walk in the direction of the school. I hurry through the day and fight the awkwardness of being alone. Diana caught the flu and is out of school so I have to skip lunch and power through the discomfort of being near him all on my own. I get home and drop off my stuff before asking my mom to bring me to the bookstore.

"You work today?" she questions and I nod.

"Yeah, I'm covering for Diana," I tell her. "She's sick."

"Okay," my mom nods as she grabs her keys. "You'll have to get Calum or your father to pick you up."

"Will do," I mumble as we make our way out to the car.

"Are you alright?" she asks as she pulls out of the driveway.

"Yeah," I reply.

"You haven't mentioned Diego in a while," she replies. It's been a week and a half, mom. How often was I mentioning him before?

"We've both been busy," I lie. It's easier than telling her that he ended things with me and apparently really wants to be friends but I'm not interested.

My mother doesn't ask any other questions or make any statements until we pull into the plaza. I'm texting Diana and telling her to feel better when my mom says something that surprises me. "Isn't that your friend Sage?" she asks.

I notice Sage's car idling in front of the coffee shop. Diego gets out and says something, which I can't hear, and she drives off. If my mom wouldn't question me, I'd ask her to wait until Diego went inside before dropping me off. But because she would pester me about it, I have no choice but to cringe as she  drives up beside Diego. I open the car door and get out, trying my best to go unnoticed.

"Hey, Diego!" my mom says as she rolls down the window. He approaches her car and begins having a conversation with her, which makes me roll my eyes. I head into the bookstore, clock in, and wait for a customer. I regret covering for Diana. I should've let one of our other coworkers do it instead. This is going to be so boring. Who comes into a bookstore on a Friday night? In an attempt to make the time pass, I pick up a book from one of the displays beside me and skim the back. As I do, the bell over the door rings, signifying a customer.

My eyes fall on Diego, who is carrying a drink in his hands. He places it on the counter and slides it over to me. "Can I help you?" I ask in my customer service voice. I don't even glance at the drink a few inches in front of me.

"Orion," he starts and I repress the urge to sigh. My stupid stomach fills with butterflies when he says my name.

"Yes?" I respond, keeping the same worker tone to my voice. "Do you need help finding a book?"

He sighs loudly. "Sure," he gives in.

"Do you know the title?" I ask as I poise myself before the computer monitor.

"No..." he trails before perking up. "Can I give a description?"

"That probably won't help the system find it," I dismiss.

"Maybe you've read it," he replies before blowing out a breath. "So there was a girl and a guy and they both liked each other. The guy knew he wasn't good enough for the girl and that the girl was bound for so much more, so he called things off. He knows he hurt her and he's really sorry but he doesn't want her to settle for less than she deserves. He also cares about her a lot and still wants to be apart of her life but in the form of a friend. He understands if she needs more time but he really hopes she gives him a chance because he's told that he's a really good friend and he really misses her. Did I mention that he misses her? A lot?"

I stare at him and he offers me a hopeful smile. I miss him a lot, too. But I'm angry at him for calling things off for such a stupid reason. But I want to help him see how good of a person he is and how wrong his father is about him. I want to help show him that he's not a lost cause and that he has a lot more purpose and potential than he believes. I feel the only way I can do that is to at least give the friendship thing a try. But it will absolutely shred my heart to have feelings for him and be forced into friendship when at one point I was given more.

"Please, Orion," he says and the decision is made.

I heave a noisy sigh. "Fine," I answer and he grins widely, which shoots a streak of emotion through my chest.

"Can I hug you?" he asks as he searches my eyes, which are narrowed. His arms falls to his sides and he nods awkwardly. "Too soon."

"I'm going to try, Diego," I inform him.

"That's all I can ask," he replies. "You don't hate me, right?"

"No," I answer after a few seconds. "A little...but I'll get over it."

"I'd hate me too if I were you..." he trails quietly. "But thank you."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," I grumble.

"Are you coming to hang out with us tonight?" he inquires with slightly bulbous eyes. I sum the excitement up to happiness that I'm no longer giving him the silent treatment.

"Uh..." I trail. All my homework is done. I've had no one to distract me from doing it. I push that thought aside and think about whether or not I'm up to hanging out with them. It's definitely going to be awkward but it can be awkward now or awkward later. "Sure."

"Cool," he says.

"You should get to work now," I insist when my eyes fall on the clock. He stares back at me with a large smile before nodding and turning on his heel. I watch as he retreats and I force back the sigh threatening to escape. Why did I agree to that? Why did I agree to any of this?

+++

On Wednesday morning, Roman stops me in the middle of the parking lot to ask if I can work on this weeks lab report with him after school instead of in class. Apparently, he has a doctor's appointment that he forgot about. After telling him to do better and also stop scheduling things for lab days, I agree. He informs me that he'll be leaving school early and that, if I want, we can meet up at the library, his house, or my house.

There's no way I'm bringing him to my house for everyone to see. The library is way too far for me to walk and Calum isn't driving me anywhere that isn't work; he said so this morning. I shrug in response, figuring that I can just walk to his house. "Your house works," I agree.

"Cool. I'll text you my address in case you don't remember where it us," he says as we leave class. He's been a decent friend to me these last two weeks and has made Chemistry much less awkward. I've come to appreciate him and our impromptu run-ins around school. He always says hi and asks if Diana and I would like to eat lunch with him and his friends. Despite Diana's pleas, I say no and thank him anyway.

Because Diana is retaking a test, I agreed to have breakfast with Sage, Diego, Quincy, and Webster. When I realize they're waiting, I jog over and offer them an apologetic smile. "Sorry about that," I mutter. I'm grateful the awkwardness has dissipated for the most part. It's still very present between Diego and I but that's something I don't think can be helped by a few hang out sessions.

"Are you guys friends now?" Diego asks when he drops to the back of the group with me.

"Who?" I ask before looking back at the area Roman and I were talking at. "Roman?"

"Yeah," he answers.

"Uh, not really," I respond. I mean, we talk in Chemistry and we share a few words throughout the week. Other than that, not really. I wouldn't go as far as to say that we're friends.

He nods and I don't bother explaining like I would've three weeks ago. I would tell him what Roman and I had just talked about but I don't owe Diego that so I don't bother saying anything else. Instead, I walk ahead and join Sage and start a conversation with her about nothing in particular. For some reason, Diego decides to sit next to me in the diner. Recently, whenever we all hang out, I sit beside Sage or Quincy. In fact, Diego usually goes out of his way to let me pick my seat first, which is what he did just now. Except, as soon as I slid into the booth, he slid in right after me.

I leave my phone on the table and watch everyone scans their menus. Diego and I don't bother because we already know what we're getting. "Can I play that game on your phone?" he asks and I shrug carelessly. He grabs my device from the table and opens the app I downloaded just for him. I watch the screen as he plays and gets closer to beating his high score. Just as he's about to level up, I get a notification. I lean forward to see what it is, praying it's not Diana talking about him. His character immediately dies when he takes his focus off the game and puts it on reading my notification. He moves too fast for me to even get a chance to see it. He swipes it up and returns to his game so I just assume it's an email or something.

I don't think to check my phone until our food is delivered to us. I cringe a little when I realize the notification Diego saw was a text from Roman.

Roman: 155 Windifield Street. You can come at 4 if you want.

I quickly send a confirmation text before putting my phone away. Diego acts completely unbothered, which makes my stomach clench. Isn't he the least bit jealous? Or at least curious? I watch as he talks excitedly with Webster about something. It starts to make me wonder if he ever really liked me to begin with.

The majority of the day is bland. Aside from venting to Diana, there aren't many interesting points to touch on. When the gang of friends approaches me before study hall, I'm already prepared to hang out. I do it more for Sage than for me. She typically texts me ahead of time asking if I'll tag along. She asks me if I'm okay so much that I feel the need to prove to her that I'm better than okay. Part of me thinks it's Diego talking through her but the other part of me knows better than to put words in his mouth.

"Whose house are we going to today?" I ask as we file out and into the parking lot.

"Mine," Diego answers casually. "Are you going to need a ride back here at dismissal?"

"No," I answer. I told my mom that I have some meetings for school and that I'll find my own way home.

"Cool," he replies. Sage and I get into her car while Webster and Quincy get into Webster's car. Diego gets on his motorcycle and I look down at my feet to avoid watching him.

"Are you okay?" Sage asks as soon as the doors of the bug are closed.

"I'm fine," I assure her for what feels like the thirtieth time today.

"I hear you're hanging out with Roman later," she notes and my head snaps in her direction. "Obviously he told me."

"What'd he say?" I ask.

"He said he was on your phone and you get a text from Roman with his address and a time to come over," she explains. I wait for her to say more but she doesn't.

"Anything else?" I ask.

She opens and closes her mouth before shaking her head. "Nope, nothing important," she dismisses. I don't believe her. "So what are you doing with him?"

"Are you going to tell Diego?" I ask with slightly narrowed eyes.

"No," she answers. "What he tells me, I don't tell you. What you tell me, I don't tell him."

"We're literally just working on an assignment," I explain.

"You and him aren't talking or anything, right?" she asks.

"No," I answer. It's barely been two weeks. How fast do they think I've moved on? Has Diego moved on already? I feel a knot form in my stomach at the thought of having to deal with that.

She nods before turning up the music a bit. I decide to leave it at that. We reach Diego's house and all of us meet at the porch. As Diego unlocks the door, Diablo makes a beeline towards me, leaps onto my stomach, and licks my hands, which I use to cover my face. "Hi, Diablo," I greet him through laughs.

"Diablo!" Diego yells, which is all it takes for Diablo to drop to the floor and run into the house. "Sorry about that. He's missed you."

"He's not the only one," Webster whispers and Quincy laughs alongside him. Diego look at me and I pretend to have not heard the comment.

"I'll get you some allergy pills," Diego informs me as we all enter the house. I trail behind Sage as she leads the way upstairs to Diego's room. His room is still clean but definitely looks lived in, now. He has clothes in his hamper and his bed is messily made. I sit on one of his bean bag chairs to avoid being in his bed. Last time we were in his bed, his dad caught us and set this whole tense mess into motion. He sets up his video games and we all take turns playing it, facing each other in a small tournament.

Soon enough, Webster has to go pick up his younger sister from school so he excuses himself. Quincy decides to tag along with him because he has some homework he should do. It's just Sage, Diego, and I. After a half hour of playing, Sage stands up and excuses herself to the bathroom. She passes me her controller and I continue playing for her.

"She's going to leave soon," he tells me. "She has a piano lesson at 3:00."

"Okay," I reply.

"You're welcome to stay. It doesn't have to be awkward," he tells me as he races past me with his character. "I can also give you a ride to Roman's."

I'm silent for a second, wondering how I should respond to him saying that. "Okay," I say.

"Cool," he replies as he continues to zoom ahead.

Sage comes back into the room and grabs her bag. "I'm going to head out. Are you coming with me, Orion?" she asks.

"No," I reply as I tilt the control in a failed attempt to gain leverage. Diego laughs as he watches me drive off the edge of the track. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Okay..." she trails in slight confusion. She closes his door on the way out and we play in silence. I know I shouldn't but I enjoy being with him, even if I'm not touching him or flirting with him. Just being around him makes me feel better. I know it shouldn't. I know he called everything off. I know my feelings are hurt. But I can't help the feelings I have.

"Okay, this isn't fair. Can we play a different game?" I blurt after being beaten for the fifth time.

"Sure," he replies with a loud laugh. He stands up from the bean bag chair to the left of me and goes to the bookshelf filled with games. He subconsciously puts his hand in his shirt and rubs at his stomach. I remember what his stomach feels like beneath my hands and my face goes red. "Which game? This one?"

My eyes are locked on his stomach when he turns around. I quickly look away, feeling him assess my blush in a somewhat amused manner. I turn my attention to him slowly only to find him fighting off a grin and removing his hand from his shirt. I ignore him and stare at the cover of the game and scoff. "No," I retort. Why would I want to play a skating game?

"This?" he asks, taking out another game.

"No," I answer.

"This one?" he says, holding up another case.

"Nope," I reply. I get frustrated after two more suggestions. "Don't you have any violent games? Games I can kill you in?"

He stares at me in slight surprise before taking out another rectangular case. The cover is decorated with weapons and violent ratings. "You can definitely kill me with this one," he comments.

"Perfect," I say. He puts the game in the system before dropping beside me into a beanbag chair. His knee knocks against mine and I make it a point to stand up and physically move my seat over half a foot. He laughs boisterously before starting up the game. "What buttons do I use to kill you?"

"I'm not going to tell you how to kill me," he retorts as he starts running across the map. I try out all of the buttons before starting my journey to find him. I manage to sneak up behind him and shoot him. "Shit."

"Hah," I say triumphantly as he respawns at a different location. I begin searching for him again. This time, he kills me. "Why would you do that? Haven't you hurt me enough as it is?"

"Are you okay?" he asks, risking a glance at me.

"Yes," I reply.

"Do you want to talk about it?" he replies.

"No, I just want to keep killing you," I reply. And that's what we do. Of course, he kills me, too. I have a feeling he lets me get a couple of the kills but I don't say anything.

"Should we get going now?" he asks as he looks at his phone to see that it's 3:40.

I shrug. "Sure," I say. He turns off the game while I grab my belongings. We walk downstairs in silence and as he goes to grab his keys, he realizes something.

"I only have the bike," he tells me and I want to sigh. "We could ride that there, or I can walk you, or I can call you an Uber."

"I'll walk," I say.

"Do you want me to walk with you?" he asks.

"No, don't waste your time," I reply as I open the front door. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Be safe," he says in a deflated tone. "Can you text me when you get there?"

"Sure," I reply. Maybe I'm a jerk but I definitely won't be texting him when I arrive.

I set out for Roman's house, looking up directions to ensure I'm going the right way. I arrive at his familiar abode and text him that I'm outside. The front door opens and he appears with a large grin. "Hello," he greets me with a boyish head tilt. His blonde hair falls to the side of his head as he watches me walk up the steps to his house.

"Hi," I say with a small smile.

"How are you?" he asks as he shuts the door behind me. I give him a flat look and shake my head.

"I just spent the last hour in Diego's house killing him," I reply, which gets a fearful look from Roman. I suddenly realize how bad that sounds. "We were playing video games."

"Oh...I was going to say that you look very clean and neat having just murdered someone," he responds. "Were you guys alone?"

"For the last hour, yes," I reply.

"Was it awkward?" he asks.

"When isn't it awkward?" I sigh as I follow him up the steps to his room. "He offered me a ride here."

"Did you accept it?" he asks.

"No, I walked," I respond.

"You could've asked me for a ride," he replies and I shrug in response once we reach the second floor. "How'd he know you were coming here?"

"He was on my phone this morning when you texted me," I explain. "I didn't think he cared until Sage brought it up to me."

"Does he know we're just working on a lab report?" he asks as he pushes open the door to his room. I'm slightly surprised at how big it is. He doesn't have much in here but what he does have is nice. He has a bookshelf with trophies from whatever activities he's involved in and his bed is huge with white bedding.

"I didn't mention it because he didn't ask," I reply and he gives me an entertained smile.

"So you're just going to let him wonder?" he questions.

"Oh well," I say as I let an evil cackle slip from my lips. "I'd have told him if he asked but he didn't."

"He's probably back home having a breakdown about how we're here making out," he teases as he approaches his desk. It's glossy and black, as is the rest of his furniture. He shuffles around a bit before pulling a folder from the disorganized mess.

"He'll live," I reply as I take a seat across from him on the carpeted floor. I let my fingers run over the soft material and repress the urge to ask how he maintains it. The conversation ends once our laptops open and I don't complain.

We work for an hour and get a significant amount done. It reminds me of the times I'd do homework with Diego in my room. After disrupting our work with a loud groan, Roman gets up to use the bathroom and I decide to take a phone break. I stare at the message Diego sent me 40 minutes ago.

Diego: I know you're not going to text me when you get there but if you need a ride back, my dad is home and said he'd let me use his truck.

"What's funny?" Roman asks when he drops back into his position in front of me.

"When I left his house, he told me to text him when I get here but I didn't. So he texted me and said he knows I'm not going to text him but to let him know if I need a ride home," I explain.

"Are you going to say yes?" Roman asks and I shake my head.

"Nope," I reply.

"You're just going to torture this boy?" he asks, which gets another evil laugh from me.

"Oh well," I say with a weak shrug. "I'm not doing anything. He's just thinking himself into sadness."

"You can help him not do that," he retorts.

"Aren't you supposed to be on my side?" I ask with narrowed eyes.

"I choose no sides," he responds with a wag of his fingers. "But I can give you a ride home later."

"Okay," I say before typing out a response.

Orion: Thanks but Roman's bringing me home later.

I watch as it sends and he opens it, types, then stops. I wait another minute but he doesn't type again. I close the chat and return to the lab report. We eventually finish and Roman stretches out on the carpet and looks at me. "Are you hungry?" he asks as he rubs his stomach.

"Kind of," I admit and at a startling speed, he jumps up into a standing position. His hand extends for mine and I take it and allow him to help me up. Together, we walk to his kitchen, which is just as grand as his room and every other room in this house. It was hard to notice when it was packed with people but now that it's clean and furnished, it's hard not to notice.

"What are you in the mood for?" he asks and I furrow my brows.

"Mac and cheese?" I propose and he squints at me.

"Actually, that does sound good," he replies. I expect him to pull out some fancy box that I've never heard of, or better yet a bunch of different ingredients to make it from scratch. Instead, he pulls out a box with dinosaur shaped noodles and extra cheese. He stares at the box and glances at me. Slowly and sheepishly, he takes another one from the cabinet and puts it down beside the original. "I eat a lot."

I give a short laugh as I lean against the marble top counter while he gets to work on making the meal. He's changed from his school apparel but for some reason, he still looks like he's dressed to go out. He has joggers on that are too nice to be house clothes. His shirt is just like his other ones, crisp and clean. He's even wearing socks. "Are you going out or something?" I blurt and he looks at me briefly.

"No, why, do you want to do something?" he asks.

I stumble over my words. "I was just saying because you look rather fancy for a night in," I explain and he laughs.

"Well, first of all, these are my pajamas. Second, I was supposed to go out but my friends cancelled on me last minute," he replies with a shrug.

"What were you going to do?" I ask.

"We were going to see that new movie that came out on Friday," he says.

"The rom-com?" I question in slight disbelief.

"Hey, don't judge me," he comments as he points his stirring spoon at me.

"I just didn't peg you for a rom-com guy," I mutter.

"You don't like rom-com?" he asks.

"Oh, no, I love rom-com. That's literally all I read," I reply. "In fact, I read the book to that movie. It was really good."

"Do you want to go see it?" he asks.

I think about it. I have no homework to do. I don't have to work. "Sure," I say.

"Are you using me to make Diego jealous?" he asks and I laugh loudly.

"I'm not even going to bring this up to him," I convince him.

"Okay, good," he replies. "After we eat our mac and cheese, I'll change and then we can head out."

"Cool," I agree. I text my mom and tell her that Diana and I are catching a movie. I tuck my phone away, not bothering to check for a text back. I watch him pour the dinosaur noodles into the pot and sigh. He's a good distraction.