Your eyes widened as Emporio ran straight past you, the metal clasp that you had tried to grip simply slipping through your fingers at the last second. Your heart sunk into a bottomless chasm as the warmth of the hand behind you finally reached you, the titan taking a crushing grip on your raised forearm before mercilessly ripping you from beneath the horse's carcass. It was a moment of reflection and sadness, fear and loathing. The titan twisted you around softly, your petrified gaze staring into its neutral eyes as it simply opened its mouth and tossed you forward. 

(Y/n) W-Wait! No no no-

Of course, you would never be so lucky as the titan that had so leisurely taken its time with you attracted another smaller monster, its hands reaching up and taking a hold of your leg before pulling you down, sinking its teeth into your leather-covered shin. 

(Y/n): F-Fuck! Get the hell away from me!

As the shorter abomination tried to nibble away at your leg, the larger one finally got into action, taking a hold of your other arm and lifting you up, the smaller titan weighing down on your leg like a dog refusing to give up a toy. Your screams of pain were nothing to the creature and with a simple motion, it opened its maw once more and rested your chin against its teeth before snapping shut.

Your eyes opened with a start, your body coated in sweat as you tried to sit up though found your body in immense pain. Your eyes searched the grass before you for any signs of lumbering monsters before you begrudgingly managed to lift yourself up. You had been lying face first in the grass and the sudden movement forced a grunt from your lips, noting a serious pain in your right shoulder. The pain was sharp and concentrated, almost forcing you back to the ground as you place your knees under you.

(Y/n): Fucking nightmare... 

Your words sounded labored, in between pants as you lifted your head to see Emporio lazily munching away at some grass. Using your left hand, you managed to twist your body into a seated position, your legs outstretched in the grass as you gazed around for titans. Besides a lanky one-off in the distance, you were relatively ok.

(Y/n): Holy... I... I did it... I made it?

Your statement made more like a question as you lacked total confidence in that answer. Your body attempted to lift itself once more but only found more pain jutting from your right shoulder. It was probably dislocated from the force of being yanked out of socket by Emporio. With a breath, your lips pursed and a soft whistle to Emporio told him to finish up his snack and trot over. Emporio walked in front of you and using a combination of him and your left side, you managed to flip yourself unevenly into the saddle. 

(Y/n): Emporio let's get onto the rock.

You led the horse forward, having him softly move on top of a jutting-out rock to try and catch your bearings. It seems that Emporio had carried your further north for a couple of miles. Being dragged on your face by a horse for a few miles just to end up falling asleep sounded like the epitome of stupid out here with the titans but once again it either seems dumb luck or fate kept you from dying a quick silent death. However, you wouldn't be alive for much longer if you didn't get on the move. To the south, a horde of titans was moving toward you. As to why you weren't sure, or maybe they were simply following the trails of the Scouts. However, that doesn't make sense as the north was a giant forest of trees. you had heard something about it in the past but it was certainly not where the scouts were. It was dense and was perfect for titans to hide. So they must have gone around. You, however, did not have this luxury so if you wanted to have any catch of catching up you would have to carefully move through the forest yourself. 

(Y/n): Come on Emporio we need to move.

With a yip, Emporio began a renewed sprint north, away from the enclosing horde and hopefully toward the other Scouts.

(Y/n): What if the titans already wiped out the others... even the Levi squad can get wiped out with these kinds of numbers. What if they already called the retreat? No that can't be true cause the titans would have cut them off... there's just no logical reason to head into that forest without risking lives... unless.

A thought entered your mind that instantly shattered your morale so you shoved it to the side. You let your head lower onto the back of Emporio's head, feeling his muscles flex against your forehead as his ears flapped back against you. Your eyes trailed down to examine your ODM gear. It was stupid to try and tell if it was damaged at this point with the movement and jerking but it didn't seem too worse for wear. Barely functional at the worse. What you needed to examine moreso was yourself. Your side was still in good health, at least it didn't feel wet or painful. Your shoulder clearly needed attention but all it needed was to be popped back into the socket. Cuts, bruises, cuts bruises, that felt like a scrape and more bruises. Your legs definitely had some bruising. 

(Y/n): Cuts and bruises... I've gotten off lucky so far when... 

Your lips pressed into a firm line as the screams of the recon squad filled your ears again, almost like a record recorded just to sit in your mind.

(Y/n): They were veterans... if they were taken out so easily what the hell can I do? 

Your question lingered in the air, not asked for anyone in particular as you could feel the looming presence of the trees inching closer despite your downward trained gaze. It wouldn't be long that you needed to get your mind back into reality, at least long enough to survive the first. You could be haunted later, but for now, the living mattered more.

Emporio was certainly a strong horse to carry you for so long, but his journey was going to get much harder as the trunks of the trees were within viewing distance now. However, something stood between you and the trees, quite literally. A titan was thrashing about, almost as if it was doing a dance. Its pudgy body shimmied about from side wot side with its arms up and its legs kicking back. It annoyed you to no end that such stupid-looking creatures could kill for no reason. That your seniors had been killed by such viciously stupid things that only had size on their side. A quick decision entered your mind, your (E/c) shifting its tired and irritated gaze from right to left. Trees or titan. Blood or Blindness. Survival or Revenge. Well wouldn't you know it, revenge is an interesting word. Your hand lowered to your ODM gear, checking for obvious damage. It found none and you pulled on the reins of Emporio, leading him to the right of your target toward the flailing titan. 

(Y/n): Blood. I'll spill your blood and put my seniors to rest. You don't mind that do you, bastard?

Your voice didn't have the malice you intended, more a tired irritation that was prevalent thought your body. Your right shoulder refused to cooperate but you could squeeze your fingers and that's all your needed. As the titan filled your striking distance, you pulled the triggers of your gear watching in slow motion as the hooks fired out from your angled his into the left shoulder blade and right shoulder of the titan. Your body let out a gentle exhale as you were ripped forward out of the saddle, feeling your feet unhook from the very metal that saved your life and would provide the springboard to end this monsters. Lifting your left hand, blade angled ready to slice as while you grit your teeth, trying to angle out the right blade to at least pierce the monster. As the titan grew closer and closer, you knew you would reach its neck but it could easily turn and swat you dead upon failure. With a final twist of your arm, forcing your right arm to coil back as you yelled in a cocktail of pain, anger, and sorrow, your feet planted into the supple flesh of the titan, quickly striking forward to cut a narrow piece of flesh from the titan's neck. Your lungs froze for a moment, your breath freezing on your tongue as you awaited to see if you did it. The titan stopped flailing, simply standing for a moment before the cut swath of flesh fell in between your feet toward the ground, followed by the titan falling forward and collapsing on the ground with a resounding thud. The blood of the titan finally decided to acknowledge your victory, spewing out like a disgusting fountain to coat your blades and arms, with the blood sticking to your face a bit before steaming away.

(Y/n): That's my first kill, huh? That was... simple. Easy. What the hell...

You pondered softly to yourself before looking up. Your plans to enter the forest seemed to be dashed in an instant, seeing hundreds of titans already here at the trees. 

(Y/n): What the hell am I supposed to do now. I'm trapped between two walls of fucking flesh!

Your mouth barked out in anger, no longer caring about the titans. The Scouts were gone. You were just another causality in this suicidal war against titans. Every time fate managed to keep you alive, it seemed the Scouts of reality managed to mess it up. You had resolved to hop on Emporio and attempt to go around the forest when something shone into your eyes. Your (E/c) eyes instantly closed from the slight pain, quickly opening again to scan for what caused the sudden attack on your eyes only to spot the trial of light coming from the trees. What the hell...

It was them. The Scouts, it had to be! This light was intentional! It was reflecting off something metal or glass to try and get your attention. But... what if you made it up into the branches only to find another dead body? At this point with death ready to make up for a lost time, you simply retracted the hooks from the flesh of the titan and did your best to get a good jumping start. Biting down from the sore pain of your arm, you pulled the triggers and fired off your hooks to let them catch something in the trees above. The sky above looked pleasant as you soared through the air, above the titans and world that wanted your pain. If only you could fly like this all the time, away from the titans, away from pain, away from your Father and his political bullshit. The hooks however retracted faster than your mind would have liked, pulling you onto a branch in time to almost fall off though your arm was gripped to stabilize you.

???: (L/n)... I can't believe you're alive!

Your gaze turned to find Jean gripping your arm. Your feet finally placed under you allowing for you to drop the triggers in favor of nursing your shoulder. 

Armin: (Y/n) are you alright?! You were with the recon squad, right?

A serene calm filled you, a pleasant feeling of relative safety away from the hordes below. Your left shoulder brushed past Jean's as your mind drove out all questions for just a moment to keep you sane. Armin took notice of the far-off look in your eyes and simply recoiled away, wanting to know if you were ok, but knowing sometimes silence was better than a question. As for you...

You just needed a second. A second of peace and quiet...