A soft chuckle escaped your lips as. Of course... it's never this easy huh? Seated in the corner of the mess, you silently watched the other cadets around you buzz about. Division assignment was right around the corner, training was going to end soon, and heck even this constant sludge of food might be a bit better once assigned to an actual division. You poked at your food and let your gaze lift up, watching Sasha and Conny talk with other groups, allowing you to wallow in your own thoughts. So this was it, huh? Nearing the end...  a life of luxury trapped behind Wall Sina as you were your Father's personal pet on a leash. The luster of your older brother must have worn off for him to so desperately wish for your entry into the MP. Maybe if you got into the top 10 you could at least use that position to coast, soaking up the praise of those snobby pricks behind the wall long enough to set out on your own somewhere. Maybe by a nice lake... you found your gaze drawn to a scuffle between Eren and the other cadet you knew vaguely... Jean you thought his name was. Been together two years and still, you can't pinpoint everyone's name. 218 cadets do make it hard to remember faces and names.

(Y/n): Those two...

It honestly upset you to a certain point. Everyone here was so hard-headed. You had thought you were stubborn but between the cadets that wanted to run and hide at the sight of Shadis even after two years, to the people like Jean that wanted to slack off, even Eren. His passion could only get so far and when you spend more time yelling about your problems instead of doing something about it, one can wonder if that burning passion is but lowly embers. Leaning back in your seat, you decided to move away from those topics before you get a headache, instead of focusing on your life. 

(Y/n): Hmph... aren't I a miserable waste... I'm treated like a chess piece by my Father and I've yet to have any say in my life aside from if can breathe or not and even then he makes it hard to want to keep doing so, breathing the same air as he might rot my lungs, that honey-tongued cur...

You grit your teeth, almost wanting to smack yourself for letting your thoughts drift back to... him. You took a bite of your food and glanced up to see what had taken place between Eren and Jean.

The mess hall froze as Shadis inquired about the loud noise he had heard. It was bad enough that they could all get in trouble for those two fighting, but nobody quite knew what to say. It was then a black-haired girl raised her hand and spoke. 

???: Sir, Sasha let a giant fart rip.

Sasha had never felt such betrayal before. It was even worse when Shadis believed it! She glanced around the mess hall, looking upon the faces of her "friends" that did their best to not outright laugh. Her eyes then glanced around to find you. she knew you would never betray her by la- WHAT?! You had a fork in your mouth, having just taken a bite of food only for your lips to be pressed into a line, your eyes wide as you did your very best not to launch a mouthful of your meal out in a laughing fit. That absolutely shattered your serious moment as you did your best to hold it together until the instructor left. Once Shadis had left, the mess burst into laughter, you couldn't even hold back a light chuckle as Sasha was bribed with bread for her sacrifice. As you looked over the smiling faces of your comrades, you let a small smile slip onto your face, maybe this wouldn't be so bad after all.

You didn't quite know what to feel. A strange cocktail of emotions filled your chest as you heard what was being announced to your cadet corp. 

Christa Lenz

Sasha Braus

Conny Springer

Marco Bodt

Jean Kirstein

Eren Jeager

Annie Leonhart

Bertholdt Hoover 

Reiner Braun

Mikasa Ackerman.

A part of you was overjoyed, the whole being in the top ten thing wasn't your forte and would only stress you out, while another darker part of your mind poked at all your insecurities, letting you know how worthless you were if the only thing you retained from training was how to keep some ODM gear clean. If there was some consolation in your mind it was that your Father didn't get his way and would have to work harder to get you into the MP. An involuntary smile crawled onto your features, a few strands of hair resting before your (E/c) eyes. Yeah... that was it... you screwed your Father over and that meant anything over being placed in some number line. This whole top ten thing didn't mean shit anyway, except it was easier to mark who was eaten by the titans and who was still kicking about. As the cadets were dismissed to celebrate the official end of the training, you mentally forced a mask over your thoughts, smiling brightly as an excited Conny and Sasha ran up to you. just be happy for them for now... you could worry about the rest later.

Every once in a while, your Father would host these massive balls and parties at his estate, flaunting you and your brother before a crowd of nobles, trying to play matchmaker with you and some spoiled brat. As you took a drink, this party held a different tone for you, it seemed like... freedom almost. Though you knew you were simply a caged bird experiencing a few moments of bliss before being locked in a tighter cage in Wall Sina. You let out a sigh before raising the cup to your lips. You hadn't noticed, but a few of the more skittish cadets had migrated to you, seemingly wanting to use your presence as a barrier of sorts. As you took notice of them, one of the female cadets spoke up.

???: Say... (Y/n)?

(Y/n): Hmm?

???: I-If it's anything... we think you were top ten material.

You chuckled at the joke and waved your hand.

(Y/n): Ah don't say that. I'm worthless as a soldier, all I know is how to tell the sharp bit of the blade from the hilt and how to keep my ODM from jamming. other than that those guys over there deserve your praise.

You pointed at the various groups of newly-graduated cadets, conversing and surrounding the top 10 to bask in their superficial glow. You were right, you were no sparkling example, simply another dim bulb in the group one breath away from being shattered and broken like the rest of them. Though you wondered if being in the MP was a fate worse than death at this point. You just wanted to be rid of your Father and his influence, if only but a moment so you could think straight. 

???: I'm going into the Garrison.

???: Same here.

???: I um... have kind of considered the Scouts...

???: Eh?!

???: Really?! You're joking!

Your attention was brought back to the cadets around you, the topic of Scouts seemingly being taboo. It made sense though, being a scout was nearly certain death and those that made it back were simply living on borrowed time to either be killed by the next titan or killed under an avalanche of government regulation and paperwork. It made the MP look like a dream and was of course why so many tried to enter the MP to live as far away from the monsters as possible. 

Your eyes widened softly, a delicious thought entering your head as you lifted and hand and stared into your palm. The sheer amount of excitement brought you nothing if not a grand smile to your face. That's it... the Scouts... the perfect place outside of your Father's reach and if you died so what?! He couldn't use you anymore and your life might provide for something else! If not fertilizer for some lucky tree but... but... ah you didn't know but you knew that was it! 

???: (Y/n) Have you conside- E-Eep!

You tossed your cup at an unlucky cadet who just barely managed to catch it, though suffered a stain on his shirt. you started pulling through the celebrating crowds. You weren't sure where you were going but the sheer euphoria of your idea flooded your veins and puppeted you along. O-Outside... yeah let's get a breath and think of something else. 

Conny: (Y/n)! come over here! We've been looking for you!

You stopped in your tracks and spotted your friends. Conny... Sasha... your dear friends... no you couldn't just throw your life away...but you knew you would lose them if your Father had his way, even if all of you ended up in the Military Police. You twisted your foot in the direction of them and walked up to them.

Sasha: Hey where have you been? You just disappeared once we got our drinks. 

(Y/n): Ah well I needed some time to myself, plus you guys are ranked cadets so I wanted to let you celebrate.

You lifted your hands and ruffled the hair on their heads... well mainly Sasha, for Conny it was more of a nougie. Conny swatted your hand away while Sasha pulled away from the hand before you walked past them.

Conny: h-Hey where are you going?

(y/n): Ah don't worry I just need to take a uh... breather.

You affirmed, not easing their suspicions. 

Sasha: I wonder what is wrong with him...

Conny: He had a weird look in his eyes, do you think he's about to do something weird like prank the bunks?

Sasha: Well I should be fine then!

Conny grumbled but walked after you, the potato girl following suit to check on you as you passed another group of cadets that seemed to want your input.

???: (Y/n)!

You stopped once more, seeing a few familiar faces and a few not. Eren stood next to Mikasa and his friend Armin, they always did travel in that little pack of theirs. The taller blonde that had been speaking with Eren found an interest in your retreating form and captured your attention.

???: Hey (Y/n)! Are you joining us in the Garrison?

It was at the tip of your tongue. Yes yes yes say it, just do it. Make it a reality! take back your fate from that horrid puppetmaster!

(Y/n): Oh u-um I no...

You stuttered... what was so hard about that choice? Just say it! Say it! SAY IT!

???: What was that? I couldn't quite hear y-

(Y/n): I'm going to be joining the Scouts.

That statement seemed to have broken the taboo. This silenced the group while those around you looked at you as if you were joking. 

???: Are you serious?

You nodded your head. your inner voice finally calmed down, it's angry tone shifting into a more relieved one as a sense of joy filled your veins. All you had to do was finalize your choice once the day arrived and you would take back your life. No more the pawn. You had reached the end of your Father's little chessboard and you were going to be what you desired.

???: But you can't possibly win!

You were drawn from your thoughts as the blonde yelled out, drawing the attention of those that weren't already listening in. You knew they were staring. The Top 10, the group from earlier, Conny... Sasha... You wondered what gazes they had as they burned into the back of your head.

???: You know full well... You know just how many have been eaten by them. We've lost more than twenty percent of the entire population already. Mankin-

(Y/n): You think I care about mankind?

That managed to silence the loud-mouthed blonde.

(Y/n): I care about humanity, I do, but many of us are just as monstrous as the titans. With each wall... with each level of the hierarchy... we get closer to the next of monsters that are far worse than titans because at least titans kill for the sake of killing, but us humans... we like to see the suffering, to draw it out as long as possible before snuffing out the light. Those with power are the puppetmasters as they play games with our very lives. Well... I'm not going to let them use me anymore! I'm taking fate into my own hands and with my training... maybe my worthless life will be enough so that one person... a shining example of what humanity should be... can live in my place and make things better.

???: But... but (Y/n) we can't win-

Eren: So?

The attention of everyone was shifted onto Eren. 

Eren: You're just giving up because you think you can't win?

???: Well-

Eren: It's true. we've only suffered defeats so far, but that's because we hardly knew anything about them! (Y/n)'s right! We can't beat them using numbers, but using our training and the knowledge we have gained from those battles will serve as a beacon of hope. Yet you'd discard the tactical progress bought by hundreds of thousands of sacrifices just to serve yourself on a silver platter? Pfft... you've got to be kidding me. I'll kill every last titan and break free of these walls! That is my dream! 

Eren's speech seemed to have concluded, the passion from it causing tears to form in the corners of his eyes. He sat still for a second before turning to leave. you took the moment to grip his shoulder. Eren turned his gaze to you and felt surprised by the various emotions he saw swimming in your iris, but he understood one of them. you thanked him in your own silent way before turning to leave yourself. It took a moment as everyone seemingly let your speeches set in before Sasha made the first move, shuffling awkwardly out of the room to go look for you.

(Y/n): Hahahahah! This is it! the strings have been broken! I feel... I feel... alive!

You spoke out in a declaration, the prideful feeling from earlier not leaving as you threw your arms to your sides, looking up at the night sky. Tonight... tonight marked the beginning of a new chapter of the human (Y/n) (L/n), not the puppet noble, but the living breathing human.

???: (Y/n)?

You paused for a moment and looked over your shoulder to find Sasha. Her chocolate-colored eyes held a look of concern.

Sasha: Did... you really mean what you said?

(Y/n): Ah... I did forget you and Connie were there too. Um... yes I'm going to join th-

Sasha: You never were the smartest, but you know what I mean.

You pouted softly, turning back to the girl and moving a bit closer, before flicking her forehead.

Sasha: Ow! I meant did you really mean that you thought your life was worthless?

That... that's what she is concerned about? Really?

(Y/n): Well yes I mean-

Sasha got her answer and responded by jabbing you in the side with her elbow.

Sasha: Don't say such dumb stuff! Your life isn't worthless! Conny and I won't let you throw your life away for nothing!

(Y/n): Your... no. I refuse to allow it.

Sasha: It's our choice as the top 10.

(Y/n): That's just it! You're... you're the hope for humanity! I'm just another foot soldier!

She jabbed you once again, drawing closer to make sure the pain got her message through your brain.

Sasha: You're not just another foot soldier! You're our friend! You gave me food on the first day despite knowing you could get in trouble! and since then you've taken care of Conny and I without ever asking for anything in return! For once we want to do something for you...

(Y/n): You're making a lot of choices for someone who isn't here...

Conny: It's because we were already considering it.

You knew who the voice was in an instant, looking past Sasha to find Conny approaching with an uncertain but determined look in his eyes.

Conny: We may be in the top but... we couldn't just abandon you. It's like Sasha said, you've taken care of us even though you didn't even know us. And... without you, we may not have even made it to the top ten. So if you decide to go to the Scouts... then so will we. That and you and Eren gave some really convincing speeches...

Well, you certainly couldn't deny Eren's speech even helped you reaffirm your commitment, but as you looked upon the two before you, your emotions started to betray you as you tried to keep a stiff opposition but knew you would lose out to them in the end. So you swallowed back a growing sob and lifted your hands, running your hand through their hair once more. You would keep them alive. You needed them to stay alive or else everything you were fighting for would be lost. So as your two friends begrudgingly accepted your affection, your eyes gleamed looking upon them. Sasha lifted her face and smiled brightly at you, the light of the lamps around you reflecting from her eyes while her smile warmed your heat, almost feeling like it skipped a beat. You would protect them... no matter what...