#TPTGSIMULA

Greatness

the quality that radiates from the inside out. It is who you are when you are honoring your values and living a life of purpose. In other words, when you are stepping  into your true Self. The goal is to inspire students to achieve greatness by taking risks, working hard, and pushing their limits.

***

After delivering my speech, the people  gave me their warm applause. Some even rose from their seats. Their loud claps echoed inside my ears. My heart is beating wildly inside my chest. Isa-isa ko silang pinagmasdan. 

If someone else would be in my position right now, that person must be overwhelmed, happy, and proud.

I thought I would feel the same like I did back then. I thought I would feel the excitement, the adrenaline, and pride filling in my body everytime people praise me. Kumbaga ang taas ng tingin ko sa sarili ko noon. I've always felt empowered.

But for me, I felt as if I already have done this a thousand times already eventhough it's been a while since I last stood in front of many people. I was pressured giving the speech. I couldn't even remember half of what I said.

I just want this day to end even if I have nothing to look forward to the next day.

"Alright! Thank you for that wonderful speech Miss Guevarra!"

A woman in her 30's approached me. Hindi maalis ang ngiti sa labi niya na para bang manghang mangha siya sa sinabi ko. Lumayo ako sa poolpit nang tuluyan siyang makalapit.

"Once again. Thank you for coming here today and for being our guest speaker. I know you're busy and-"

"Thank you for inviting me," I said and gave her a small smile

Sinuklian niya ako ng matamis na ngiti bago binalik ang tingin sa audience. I turned around and returned to my seat.

"As we proceed to the program..." I heard her say on the mic

When I sat down, I fixed my coat on my shoulders and held my purse.

"Your speech was beautiful."

Napatingin ako bigla sa katabi ko. It was a woman in her 40's. I believe she's the principal of the school.

"Well as expected from you Miss Guevarra. Nothing really has changed. You're still well-spoken, eloquent, elegant, sophisticated, and," she paused and scanned my outfit. "Mas gumanda ka lalo."

I'm used to receiving compliments. I even got tired of it because I keep hearing the same thing over and over again. It don't affect me that much unlike before.

I didn't smile. Nanatiling blanko ang mukha ko.

"Thank you," I simply said before turning to face the audience.

"By the way, sorry to ask pero san ka nga pala ulit nagtatrabaho? What law firm are you in?"

Napatingin ako sa relo ko. I didn't understand what the lady just said. It's not that I purposely ignored her but because my mind was somewhere else. I was spacing out.

"Uh Miss-"

Agad akong tumingin sa kanya. "Sorry. What was that again?"

She was about to speak but my phone suddenly rang. I quickly opened my purse and took my phone out. Sinagot ko ang tawag.

"Yes Vince. I'm done with my speech. Susunduin niyo na ba ko?"

"Uh yes Ma'am Fey. Papasok na po kami diyan sa loob," sagot niya sa kabilang linya

It took me a few seconds before answering. "Uh...Vince?"

"Yes Ma'am?"

Binalik ko ang tingin sa harap. I saw that the graduating students are already lined up, ready to step on the stage to receive their diplomas. Tumingin naman ako sa teacher na tinawag ang unang estudyante na tatapak sa stage.

"Francesca Ocampo. With high honors!"

I watched as the girl walked up on the stairs to the stage and beside her is her parents.

"Ma'am?"

Napakurap-kurap ako at binalik ang atensiyon sa tawag.

"Right uhm. Can you guys wait until the program ends? Nakakahiya naman kung aalis nalang ako dito agad."

"Po? Pero may dinner pa po kayo mamaya ni governor-"

"Don't worry. I'll talk to him."

"Pero ang sabi niya po eh..."

Nilagay ko sa kabilang tainga ang phone bago sumagot.

"Just give me a few more minutes."

The line went silent.

"Please," I added

Narinig ko siyang bumuntong hininga sa kabilang linya. "Sige po."

Binaba ko na ang tawag at binalik ang tingin sa harap. I continued to watch the students receiving their diplomas. The parents' proud smiles as they put the medals to their child is heartwarming to see.

I smiled bitterly.

Wished my parents were the same.

***

"Hi Ate Fey! Papicture sana kami sa'yo."

"Ate Fey! Bakit ang ganda ganda niyo?"

"Ate Fey! Long time no see. Mas lalo po kayong gumanda!"

"Hi Attorney!"

After the program, the students approached me. Binati nila ako at kinamusta. They asked permission if they could take photos of me with them. I agreed. I then smiled to the camera. 

At first I was not comfortable but they were kind and friendly. I didn't really expect that some of them would approach me or even recognize me. Siguro ang ilan ay nakisama nalang.

They see me as some sort of celebrity. I'm just their alumni.

"Ate Fey! Ate Fey! Naalala niyo ba kami?"

Nagulat ako nung may grupong mga lalaki ang lumapit sa'kin. Bigla akong napaatras. Buti nalang ay nasa likod ko lang ang mga body guards ko na binabantayan ako. Humarang sila sa harapan ko para hindi makalapit sa'kin ang mga estudyante.

"Isa isa lang po," pagbabanta ng isang bodyguard

"Papapicture lang kami kuya. Magtotropa kaming lahat kaya kahit isang picture lang," the student said

Vince shook his head. "Hindi pwede. Isa isa lang. Mamili kayo kung sino sa inyo."

"Kuya naman. Once in a lifetime opportunity na namin 'to kaya pagbigyan niyo na kami."

Suddenly, I felt someone from behind me. It's one of my bodyguards, Jason.

"Ma'am. Kailangan na po nating umalis," he ordered

I looked back at the boys in front of me. They were still negotiating with my bodyguards. 

"Ma'am," he called me again

"Just give me a minute," I said and walked towards Vince

"Hindi nga po pwede. Ang kulit niyo. Matuto nga kayong-"

I held his shoulder to get his attention. He looked over his shoulder.

"Stop. They're just kids Vince," I calmly said

His forehead creased. He was about to protest but I removed his arm that's blocking the students from me.

"It's fine. I can handle it," I assured him

He didn't move. He remained standing in front of me. I looked at him intently in the eyes. Umiwas siya ng tingin. Finally, he gave up. He sighed and stepped back. Nagkatinginan sila ng isa ko pang bodyguard bago bumalik sa likuran ko.

Meanwhile, the boys approached me.

"Uh, hi Ate Fey. Kamusta?" they asked. They look happy and bubbly while talking to me.

I forced a smile. "I'm doing great. Thanks for asking. Congratulations to all of you."

"Thank you!"

"Papicture na tayo pre. Baka sumugod na yung iba. Nakakatakot!" his other friend said in a joking manner

"Ihanda mo na yung phone mo!"

"Hindi mo ko kailangan utusan Mark."

I watch them as they struggle to put the phone on the selfie stick. The boy named Mark glanced at me nervously. Mas lalo silang nagmadali sa ginagawa.

Then they politely ask me again to take a picture with me. I nodded in agreement. 

They were four of them. They positioned themselves beside me. Two of them on my right and the other two is on the left. They were pretty tall, knowing that they're just in their teens. I'm tall too, but I feel so tiny in between them.

One of them seems oddly familiar to me. I don't even remember half of students here since it's been years since I graduated.

Maraming nagbago at maraming bagong mukha, that's why I don't know what to say when they ask me if I can still remember them. I don't even remember my batchmates before, sila pa kaya?

I got back to my senses when I heard the boys beside me arguing. I suddenly felt uncomfortable by the close proximity between us. One student lifted the selfie stick with a phone on it. I swallowed hard and looked at the camera. I fixed the coat on my shoulder and smiled.

Thank goodness they didn't place their hands on my shoulders nor touch me elsewhere. 

"Thank you!" they all said when we're done taking pictures

"You're welcome," I replied and gave them a small smile

I watch them as they look at the photos. Hindi maalis ang ngiti sa labi nila.

"Ma'am."

I startled when I heard someone called me from behind. I looked over my shoulder and saw Vince. 

"Okay lang po ba kayo? Sorry kung nagulat ko kayo."

"No. I'm fine."

"Tara na po. Kailangan na po nating umalis," he reminded

I nodded and fixed my coat. Nilingon ko nang huling beses ang mga estudyante na patuloy na tinatawag ang pangalan ko. I waved them goodbye.

 As much as I want to greet and approach them, I can't.

The least thing that I can do is smile back.

And so I did, for the last time.

I turned my heel and followed Vince. The rest of my bodyguards followed behind me. Sabay-sabay kaming lumabas ng simbahan hanggang makarating sa kotse. Vince opened the door for me. I thanked him and went inside. He closed it and went to the driver's seat.

I looked outside of the window where I saw some students searching for us. Gusto sana nila kaming lapitan ulit pero huli na dahil umandar na ang kotse.

I chuckled softly.

I suddenly blame myself because it's their graduation but it seems like I became the center of attention.

I didn't like it at all.

Well it's always been like that. Wherever I go, people would still recognize me.

"Ma'am diretso na po sa mansion niyo este- ni governor pala," basag ni Vince sa katahimikan

Tumingin ako sa harap. Nagtama ang mata namin sa rear view mirror.

"Where else? Do I have I choice? Pwede ba kong hindi pumunta?"

He swallowed hard. Bigla siyang ninerbyos. He glanced at Jason, asking for help.

I looked at my watch. "It's still early. Dinner pa naman diba? Why the rush?"

"Baka matraffic din po kasi tsaka utos ni governor-"

I looked outside the window after. "I know. Kayo ang malalagot."

None of them dared to speak anymore. Naging tahimik na ulit ang byahe.

While on the road, I opened my purse and took out my jewelries. I wore my rings that are made of gold and diamond. I also wore the necklace with a heart-shaped pendant. I then took out my small mirror and checked my face.

My make-up is still evident. The smokey eyeshadow made my hazel brown eyes popped. The bronzer and highlighter enhanced my jaw and cheekbones. I didn't need to contour my nose since it's already pointed. My brows are perfect. As for my red lips, always been plump and thick. Red lip is what suits me best.

I returned the mirror back inside my purse.

"Ma'am may gusto po ba kayo? Mag-order po kami ng kape sa starbucks baka po gusto niyong magpasabay?"

I looked at Vince and shook my head. "No. I just need water. I'm quite thirsty."

He then handed me a bottle of water. Kinuha ko iyon at ininuman.

"I'll pay for your drinks," I offered and took some cash from my wallet

"Naku. Huwag na po Ma'am. Kami na po-"

"No. Let me."

I lend the money to him. He only stared at it. He was hesitant, whether to take it or not.

"C'mon just take it."

He remained silent. Nagkatinginan ulit sila ni Jason.

"Just a token of appreciation. I couldn't pay all you back when I left right? It's the least thing that I can do."

I took his hand and placed the money on top of his palm. I laid back on the seat again and crossed my arms over my chest.

"Hindi niyo naman po kami kailangan bayaran," I heard him say

I sighed. "I'm starting to earn money now. My own money. My own hard work. I wanted to pay you all back."

I looked at each of my bodyguards. They couldn't look at me straight in the eyes. They seemed tensed and awkward around me. I know that some of them are new, pero ang iba ay naabutan ko pa. 

"Are you still scared of me? Ilang taon din tayong nagsama ah," I said nonchalantly

I heard Vince cleared his throat, breaking the ice between us. "Uh sige po. Salamat po," he said and got outside of the car

"Kumain na ba kayo?" I asked

"Kumain na po ako," sagot ng isa

"How about the others? Hmm?"

"Si Manong Ben?" sabi ko sabay tingin sa kanya sa likod

He's the eldest among them and also he's been in this job for years now. Sa kanya ako pinaka nag-aalala. My brows furrowed when I saw him quickly hide the plastic of bread behind his coat.

He coughed and nodded. "Kumakain na po."

I sighed. "Hindi pwedeng kape lang ang inumin niyo maslalo na at walang laman ang tiyan niyo. And it's way past lunch time. Hindi pa pala kayo nagmemerienda."

"Ayos lang po kami Ma'am-"

"No. I won't allow it."

I fixed myself and held my purse tightly.

"Okay, everyone. Out," I commanded

Gulat silang napatingin sa'kin dahil sa sinabi ko

"You all need to eat so let's go grab some food at Starbucks," I added

I already saw Vince got outside of Starbucks while holding the cups of coffee. I was about to open the door but I heard one of them spoke.

"Pero ma'am baka malate po tayo. Pwede naman po kaming kumain mamaya pagkatapos ng duty. Iyon po kasi yung utos sa'min e."

I sighed and shut my eyes, annoyed. I slightly turned my head to face him. "So sa dinner pa kayo makakakain?" I coldly said. "I won't allow that."

"Opo."

"That governor really doesn't give a shit about you guys hmm? Sesesantehin kayo kapag hindi niyo nagawa ng maayos ang trabaho niyo pero siya itong hindi manlang kayo bigyan ng oras para kumain. Besides, we're just going to eat anyway. It's not a big deal. Bakit parang takot kayo?"

They were all silent. Tinikom nila ang bibig nila.

"Look, I'm not mad at you guys. I hope you didn't misinterpret what I said. I just don't want you to get worn out too much. You deserve some rest too. Alam kong masyado kayong inaabuso ng amo niyo."

It's obvious in their faces. They look exhausted from their job. I don't know if they still have time to rest. I remember before how the governor treats his workers poorly. Hindi pa sapat ang sahod na binibigay niya sa kanila kahit na marami naman siyang pera.

 Sometimes, he can easily fire on of them if they make even the smallest mistakes. Walang nagtatagal sa kanya. Ang iba naman ay tinitiis nalang ang hirap dahil ayaw nilang mawalan ng trabaho. It's loyalty over dignity for them. The mansion is a torture chamber. I know it because I've been through it as well. And now, I want to treat them fairly.

Lumabas na ako ng kotse at sinalubong si Vince. Napahinto siya at gulat na napatingin sa'kin.

"Ma'am bakit po kayo lumabas?" he asked

"I'm hungry. Samahan niyo kong lahat kumain."

Lalagpasan ko na sana siya pero pinigilan niya ko.

"Po? Pero diba may dinner-"

"I can't wait for dinner. Gutom na ko ngayon," I calmly replied

Nilagpasan ko na siya at naglakad na patungong Starbucks.

****

"You're late," salubong sa'kin ng governor pagkalabas na pagkalabas ko ng kotse

Or should I say my so-called father.

The thought still disgusts me until now.

I fixed my dress and glanced at my watch.

"I'm actually on time. Dinner's at 8pm right?"

He didn't age well. Still the same old filthy man that I once believe as my father.

We're standing in front of the mansion. I saw a lot of cars parked everywhere. The people got out of their cars, wearing formal attires. Sinalubong at binati nila ang isa't isa. As expected, the governor invited a lot of rich, influential, and powerful people.

I shifted my gaze back to the governor. He's wearing a brown coat and white long sleeves underneath. Maslalong naging halata ang puting buhok niya dulot ng katandaan. He already has wrinkles and his skin, now saggy. 

Even if he's a senior now, his eyes were still dark and intense. He has a strong aura that everybody fears. Though I'm not as intimidated at him as I was before.

"You were never late Fey. You know this is an important day-"

I sighed. "I told you that I have errands to do right?"

Seriously, why did he have to invite me in the first place?

"And yes I gave you time-"

"Hindi mo na hawak ang oras ko tulad ng dati," I cut him off

His lips formed in a grim line. His brows are furrowed while looking at me intensely.

"Kahit kailan ka talaga. Nakakahiya ka sa mga bisita," he said with disgust

I scoffed. "Oh is that it? Nakakahiya? I see. I came here exactly the time that I'm suppose to be here. You're visitors just came early."

I hate how I always have to prove my point.

"Is this how you greet your father? Learn some respect Fey. You are under my premises," he said in a low authoritative voice

"You are not my father."

Nilagpasan ko na siya pagkatapos pero bigla ulit siyang nagsalita kaya napahinto ako.

"Matuto ka paring rumespeto sa mas nakakatanda sa'yo at mas nakakaangat sa'yo. Ang laki na ng pinagbago mo. Wala ka ng disiplina at respeto sa katawan mo. Kung makapagsalita ka akala mo kung sino. Ganyan naman talaga kapag rebeldeng anak."

My lips twitched. I clenched my fist in anger and held my purse tightly.

Did he just invite me here to insult me? Siya yung walang pinagbago. I can't believe I was able to endure that for years. There's no point of arguing with him right now.

I can't believe I was able to endure that for years. There's no point of arguing with him right now. Hindi dapat ako nagpapaapekto sa kanya.

I took a deep breath and started walking to the mansion, leaving him behind.

 The two bodyguards opened the huge door for me. Pagkapasok na pagkapasok ko ay tumambad sa harapan ko ang maraming tao. Some of them noticed my arrival. Sabay-sabay silang napatingin sa'kin. They eyed me from head to foot. I noticed the judgement and curiosity in their eyes. They were chattering a while ago but the moment I stepped my foot inside, everyone turned silent.

A lot of familiar faces but I pretended that I didn't know them at all. They're strangers to me. I couldn't care less.

The formal dinner has started.

We were all sitting in this long table in the dining area. There were maids roaming around and butlers holding trays with different food. They placed it one by one as we eat. And they filled our glasses with wine.

On my plate is a steak with mashedpotatoes, carrots, and asparagus on the sides. It was the same for everyone.

It's been a while since I last had a scrumptious dinner. 

A butler approached me and poured red wine on my glass. I watch the glass as it 's slowly being filled by the wine. 

"Thank you," I said and he walked away after

I took the glass and swirled it. I sniffed it before taking a sip.

I roamed my eyes on the guests. They were all in their fancy suits and dresses. All smiles while enjoying the meal and each other's company. This is more like a reunion for them. I know this isn't their first time eating here. The governor has a lot of connections. They are bunch of influential and powerful people afterall. Politicians. Celebrities. Influencers. Name it. It's not new to me.

Behind their clean public facade masked the dirt under their sleeves. Not everyone can see it unless you're one of them. They only show their good side in the media, fooling the people that look up to them. 

My eyes stopped at the lady in front of me. Nagtama ang mata namin. I swallowed hard and slowly placed back my glass on  on the table. I coughed and wiped my mouth using a table napkin.

In front of me is a woman whom I have not seen in a long time.

My mother.

Wearing a red dress just like mine. Pieces of jewelries hang around her neck. Her short hair is curled. She's only wearing minimal make-up but she still looks young as ever for her age. Her features didn't change much.

Sadness and intense longing filled her eyes.

I wanted to talk to her. Gusto ko siyang kamustahin. Gusto ko siyang yakapin. I have a lot of things to say to her but I couldn't utter a word. My mind suddenly went blank. My emotions started to kick in. Biglang bumilis ang tibok ng puso ko.

She wanted to speak too pero pinangunahan kami ng kaba. There was tension between us.

Hindi ba siya ang dapat na kamustahin ako?

I was the first one to look away. I just took my glass again and drank all the wine.

"Everyone, thank you for coming today. I appreciate your time and effort. Marami siguro sa inyo ang nagtataka kung bakit ko kayo inimbita dito."

All of us turned our head to the governor who's now speaking. He's standing at the end of the table. I was a bit far from him since he's with his fellow politicians beside him. They scream power and authority.

"The reason is because I have a very special announcement," he smiled at us

All of them gasped. Murmurs and whispers spread across the room. They're already began making up assumptions.

"Are you running for President Mr. Guevarra?!" the woman who looks like she's in her mid 40's asked

Bigla akong nasamid sa sarili kong laway. Ang ilan ay napatingin sa'kin pero hindi iyon nagtagal. I covered my mouth using the table napkin. I continued to cough. Tumingin ako sa lamesa para maghanap ng tubig pero wala akong nakita. I was shocked when someone pushed a glass of water to me. I slowly lifted my eyes and saw my mom.

I cleared my throat and took the glass. Our eyes met again but it didn't last long. Tahimik kong ininom ang tubig. I got back to my senses when I heard the laughter of the governor.

"No, no. I am not running for President. It's too early for that but I might, someday in the future," he proudly said

Is he being serious?

I can't even imagine him for President. God bless the country if that happens.

"You're already qualified for the position governor and I'm sure many people will support you on that," the woman added

I smirked and shook my head.

The governor sighed while staring blankly at the lady. He took the glass of wine and swirled it. "Ayoko sa lahat Ms. Lopez ay yung pinangungunahan ako. You are not in the position to do so," he warned that made the woman silent

A small smile crept on my lips. I was staring at my glass the whole time as he speak. I didn't bother to look at him. Baka masuka lang ako.

He's still the same old man full of pride. He doesn't want anyone to step on his ego.

Silence envelop the whole room. Tumingin ako kay Ms. Lopez na ngayon ay hindi makapagsalita. I can feel the tension between the both of them. She must feel embarrassed right now. 

"As I was saying, I have a very important announcement. I am happy to announce that another member of the family will be entering politics-"

The word politics made my ears bled. I heard gasp and murmurs filled across the room. Some were shocked while the others, they probably expected it already.

"I would like to call on my nephew. Archie Fernandez II," he announced

We all turned our attention to the man beside him. He stood up and fixed the button of his black coat. He faced us and gave us a warm smile.

For others, he may look innocent and humble but deep inside, he's a creep.

I suddenly felt uneasy. I remembered my encounters with him from the past. I looked away when we almost made eye contact. I couldn't bare to see his face. I'm so annoyed right now.

"Are you really entering politics hijo?" I heard an old man asked

"Yes sir," he politely said. "Actually, my Tito Melchor convinced me to run. Of course I feel very honored and humbled. To be honest, matagal ko siyang pinag-isipan. I'm just very thankful for him for guiding me."

The governor chuckled and tapped his back, like a proud father to his son.

"Of course you do. Alam ko namang interisado ka ding pumasok sa pulitika noon pa man. Now, the time has come!"

"Well that's great news! I guess you wanted to follow your Uncle's footsteps. I'm amazed that you're already planning to enter politics at such a young age."

"Thank you Sir," he replied and bowed his head a little

The people congratulated him. They all showered him with compliments and praises. The latter on the other hand, returned the kind gesture. Some even shook hands with him and offered a toast. He became the center of attention. I saw that the governor whisphered something to him that made his smile grew wider.

Binalik ko nalang ang atensiyon sa pagkain sa harap ko. I garbbed my knife and started to cut the steak. I then took a bite from it. I can sense that my mother is watching me. I slowly chewed the food. I can't even eat properly knowing that she's just right in front of me.

Sakto ay may dumating na waiter. He was about to pour me another glass but I immediately stopped him.

"I'll pour myself. You can just leave the wine here instead of going back and forth," I calmly said\

He nodded and left the wine with me before walking away.

I took the bottle and started to pour on my glass when something caught my attention. I looked at my mother who's quietly eating in front of me. Her movements are calculated and I felt her uneasiness. And that's where I saw something that bothered me. 

Bruises.

She's wearing a shawl...and when it slid off of her shoulder, I noticed black marks. Mga pasa at pantal. I squinted my eyes and looked closely at her neck. There was a huge bruise as well, almost turning red.

My eyes widened in shock. Umawang ang labi ko habang nakatitig doon. She caught me staring at her bruises that's why she immediately hid them using her shawl. I looked at her but she avoided my gaze.

How many more bruises do you have underneath that make-up?

How come I didn't notice it a while ago?

Suddenly, my hands felt wet. I thought it was just starting to sweat but it was actually the wine. I didn't notice that my glass is already overflowing so I stopped. Napatayo ako noong tumapon ang wine sa  suot ko. Nakalikha ako ng ingay kaya't lahat sila ay napatingin sa'kin.

I ignored them. My eyes remained on my dress that's now ruined. My hands are covered in wine too. Biglang may lumapit sa'kin na maid. She handed me a clean table napkin and helped me clean but I stopped her.

"It's okay. I can manage. Thank you," I said and took the table napkin from her

"Is everything fine over there?" It was the governor

I gulped. "I'm fine."

I used the table napkin and wiped the stain off my dress eventhough it's useless. I can feel them watching me but I ignored it. Another maid came and cleaned the mess on the table. The floor was wet too so they hurriedly cleaned it. Pinanood ko lamang sila. When they were done I thanked them before returning to my seat like nothing happened.

"Are you Felicity Guevarra?"

I looked at the woman who spoke. Lumakas ang bulungan sa paligid at narinig ko silang binanggit ang pangalan ko. I remained calm.

"Yes Madam," I answered casually

She smiled. "I knew it! Sabi ko na nga ba namumukhaan kita eh. I've seen you before but it was a long time ago. I almost didn't recognize you my dear."

"Is she really Felicity? Pero bakit ngayon ko nalang siya nakita? Did you move out?" the woman beside her said and chuckled nervously

"Ask the person next to you, he or she might know," I said with no emotion. Nanatiling blanko ang mukha ko

Umawang ang labi ng dalawang matandang babae. Nagkatinginan sila sa isa't isa.

"Anyway, it's nice to see you again Fey or should I say, Attorney Felicity Guevarra," bati naman sa'kin ng isang lalaki. Base sa itsura niya ay hindi nalalayo ang edad namin.

Most of them know me but I don't...or maybe I just couldn't remember since a lot of people came here before...or maybe, I just chose to forget about them. I'm not interested in their lives as much as they are in mine.

"So she's already a lawyer?"

"I heard she top the bar exam five years ago."

"Naku. Kilala ko nayang bata na 'yan maliit palang. Saksakan ng talino at kinakatakutan ng lahat kaya marami ding humahanga sa kanya. Gumraduate rin siyang Cum Laude sa Ateneo."

"Talaga? Grabe ang galing naman niya. Hindi lang siya matalino, maganda pa. I'm sure she has a lot of suitors back then, I mean until now, I suppose."

I sat up straight and inhaled deeply while I listen to them talking about me.

"Ang pinagtataka ko lang ay kung bakit ngayon nalang natin ulit siya nakita. E 'di ba, every gathering naman o kaya kapag iniimbita tayo ni governor ay lagi siyang present?"

"Didn't you hear the news?"

"What news?"

"Pinalayas siya ni governor dito."

I looked at the two ladies in front of me.

"Talaga? Bakit naman?"

"I don't know the whole story. There were plenty of rumors, but one thing I heard that she's a rebel and a spoiled brat. I mean look at her. She's born in a silver platter and she can easily get whatever she wants."

"Maganda nga, mayaman, matalino pero basura ang ugali. Lumaki ata ang ulo."

"Anak sa labas."

I balled my fist in anger.

Lies. 

I'm used to people talking shit behind my back but do they have to go that far? I am literally just beside them. They are all aware of my presence.

I wonder how many rumors are about me out there?

I don't even understand why they love gossip so much. Are they sick and tired of their shitty lives that's why they want to spicen it up a bit by talking shit behind people's back? This is why I hate social gatherings. Puro mga elitista nandito.

"By the way Fey, what field of law do you specialize in?"

I looked at the man in front of me just beside my mother. He looks familiar. Must be one of my relatives.

"Criminal Law," I simply answered. I didn't elaborate further.

He nodded and took a sip from his wine. "A friend of mine is also a lawyer, Civil law naman."

Hindi ako sumagot. Isang tipid na ngiti lang ang binigay ko sa kanya.

"I thought you wanted to enter politics hija?" the woman beside him asked. I'm assuming its his wife

I smirked. "Entering politics never crossed my mind Madam. Not even once."

I don't want to work in a dirty environment. I'd rather be jobless than working in the government with a corrupt system and administration.

"Enough with your career, how about your personal life? Why didn't you bring your boyfriend here? I'm sure meron ka hija," she smiled

I swirled my wine glass, amused by her question. I can't believe she's asking me about my personal life when in fact is personal.

"Sorry to disappoint you Madam but I don't have a boyfriend right now," I answered

Natawa naman silang mag-asawa. They stopped when they notice that I wasn't buying it. My expression remained stern.

 "Well, we understand if you want to keep your relationship private," she beamed. "I mean you're already in the right age. Nasa mid twenties ka na 'di ba? I can see that you're financially stable so I guess you're ready for marriage? Settle for a partner and-"

"I don't need a man, Madam," I firmly said while looking at her intently

Does a woman at my age have to settle with a man already and get married? Must I follow the norm? I work my ass off and I don't need a partner to depend on. I can live on my own. Marriage has never crossed my mind, at least not now.

I saw from my peripheral vision that some of the guests were observing at us. Alam kong nakikinig din sila sa usapan namin kahit na may sarili din silang usapan.

The man nervously chuckled. "What my wife is trying to say is to open a new chapter of your life and that is having kids, getting married and-"

"Hon, it's okay. Baka career-oriented lang talaga si Fey. Tama yun na mag focus din muna siya sa trabaho. Alam naman nating hindi madali ang maging lawyer 'di ba?" his wife cut him off

His husband cleared his throat and nodded. Uminom nalang siya ng wine.

Lumipas ang oras at wala ng kumausap sa'kin. Pinanood ko nalang sila habang masayang nagkwekwentuhan. I kept silent all throughout dinner. I didn't talk not unless spoken to. I didn't initiate a conversation with someone, even my mom. I just finished the whole bottle of wine all by myself.

After dinner, everyone gathered at the living room for a picture. They even hired a professional photographer. Sa sobrang dami namin na dumalo ay napuno ang living room. 

I feel nostalgic coming back here. It's been years but the memories were still vivid. Maraming nagbago sa mansiyon pero sariwa pa rin sa'kin lahat ng masasamang alala na nangyari dito.

"Compress po!" the photographer said and hold his camera

Pumwesto na rin ako sa tabi nila. I don't want to be in the photo but I had no choice.

"Fey."

That voice. I was a bit startled but I remained composed.

"Archie," I muttered as I look to the camera

I can feel his presence beside me that's why I moved a little away from him.

"Long time no see," he smirked

I didn't respond. I heard few clicks from the camera. I was getting impatient since it's taking so long to finish this up. 

"How are you?"

"Good."

I heard him chuckled. "What's wrong? Hindi ka pa ba nakakapag-move on sa-"

"Do not even go there Archie," mariin kong sabi

I swallowed hard and balled my fist. I'm having difficulty breathing again now that's he's so close to me.

"Anyway, I'm glad you came. I didn't even notice you during dinner. You were unusually quiet. Kung hindi natapon yung wine, hindi kita mapapansin," he joked

I shivered when our shoulders brushed against each other. As much as I want to move away from him, I couldn't for the sake of the photo. My feet already hurt from my heels.

I chuckled softly. "What? Were you expecting me to make a scene?"

He didn't respond but I'm aware he's looking at me.

"It's better to remain silent. The more private I am, the less they know. Less drama. Ako na rin ang lumayo para matahimik ang buhay ko," I paused and smiled bitterly. "But the funny thing is they still have something to say. Hindi sila maubusan ng sasabihin sa'kin kahit na hindi na ko kabilang sa inyo."

He chuckled. "You can't escape from your past that easily maslalo na at dala-dala mo padin ang pangalan namin ngayon."

I swallowed hard. I calmed myself down and acted unaffected by his words. He made me loath this family more. I will never be part of them.

I suddenly felt his arms on my waist.

"Hands-off please," I warned him

I glared at him and he immediately backed away while raising his arms in defeat. He looks amused. There's a naughty smile on his lips.

Luckily, no one noticed us since everyone was busy taking pictures. Nakahinga ako ng maluwag nang matapos.

"Congrats on entering politics. After all these years, you finally earned the spotlight," I said sarcastically to insult him. Humakbang ako palapit sa kanya pagkatapos. "Para saan? Para lang madumihan ang pangalan mo."

He smirked. "It is my honor to serve the country and the people. No need to sound bitter and jealous."

I scoffed. "Serve the country my ass. You only want power and the position for your own advantage. That's all you care about. Kumapit ka pa talaga sa governor ah. You call yourself the right hand of the governor? You're more like a slave to him. That title suits you better."

Kumunot ang noo niya sa sinabi ko. Kinuyom din niya ang kamao niya. Masama na ngayon ang tingin niya sa'kin. I can sense his anger rising up. "It's years of hardwork and I deserve it."

I raised my brow. "Is it?"

Tumango-tango nalang ako at nilagpasan na siya. Lumabas na ako ng mansiyon dahil hindi ko na kayang manatili pa sa loob. Sinalubong ako ng malamig na simoy ng hangin. Huminto ako nang makalayo para habulin ang hininga.

It was suffocating to be surrounded by them.

I shouldn't have come. They're making me sick.

I closed my eyes and massaged my temple 'cause my head hurts. 

I quickly took my phone out of my purse and dialed Vince's number.

"Vince. Ihatid niyo na ko pauwi. Andito na ako sa labas, naghihintay," I said and ended the call

I began to walk to find the car. It's already dark outside. Pagod na ako at gusto ko nang umuwi para magpahinga. I'm not used interacting with people unlike before. My social battery is drained.

"Fey."

Napahinto ako sa paglalakad pagkarinig sa boses na iyon. Boses na matagal ko nang hindi naririnig.

Bigla akong nanigas sa kinatatayuan. I calmed myself down before turning around to face her.

"Fey anak," tawag niya sa malumanay na boses. Humakbang siya palapit sa'kin kaya agad akong umatras palayo.

My eyes were glued on my mother who's standing a few inches away from me. Umihip ang malakas na hangin kaya hinangin ang suot niyang balabal. I saw her bruises once again. It triggered me.

"Where did you get that from?" I asked coldly, referring to the bruises

She quickly covered them with her shawl and avoided my question. "Anak...uwi ka na dito," she begged. "Balik ka na."

"You know I don't belong here Mom...and so are you."

Muling bumalik lahat ng nangyari noong araw na iyon at isa yon sa pinakamasakit na ginawa niya sa'kin. Just a while ago, I wanted to talk to her but right now, my heart is just filled with anger and resentment.

"Pero anak, miss na miss na kita," her voice broke. Bakas ang lungkot sa kanyang boses. She sounds like she's about to cry any minute

"You abandoned me Mom. Mas pinili mo ang pera kaysa sa'kin! You chose to live with them than your own daughter!" I yelled

I didn't mean to raise my voice at her. I was still hurt by what she did to me. Hindi ko magawang maawa sa kanya ngayon.

She burst into tears. "I'm sorry anak. Sana mapatawad mo ko."

I shook my head, holding back my tears. I slowly took a few steps back away from her.

"Wala na akong uuwian," malamig kong sabi. I turned my back against her and began to walk away.