#TPTG_KEITH

"Mom. Why were you and dad fighting the other day?" I asked her as I sit on the stool. She's currently cooking lunch for us

She glanced at me. "Hmm? Ah, wala. Nagkaron lang kami ng maliit na tampuhan ng papa mo," she replied in a strain voice. I've noticed how puffy her eyes were. She must have cried the whole day yesterday.

"I've heard about dad and about the money he used to gamble. Is it...true?"

She stopped cutting the vegetables on the chopping board. Her lips parted as she lifted her eyes on me.

"Did dad do something again?"

She gave me a small smile. "No. Keith. Don't worry about it. Problema na namin yun. Ayaw na namin kayo idamay ng kapatid mo." She proceeded to cutting the vegetables

"But we're affected too mom. We're a family. We're suppose to tell each other's problems. Anak niyo rin kami. Kate and I have no clue of what's happening anymore. Nililihim niyo lagi sa'min."

"You still wouldn't understand Keith. Masyado ka pang-" she sighed. "Everything will be okay. What I want you is to focus on your studies. Ayokong maapektuhan pati ang pag-aaral mo."

"I know I'm still young but I'm mature enough to understand it mom. Why is it so hard for you to tell me? Is the problem getting worse? Is our family slowly falling apart?" my voice turned numb

She sniffed and lowered her head. "I'm sorry. Pangako na aayusin namin ito ng papa mo. Don't worry about it."

"But.."

Tinalikuran niya na ako at tinuon ang atensiyon sa pagluluto. Napailing nalang ako at umalis na ng kusina. I went upstairs to my room and finished my homework instead.

I didn't understand why she wouldn't tell me the reasons. It's just making me more anxious. My head is clouded with our problems and it was making me hard to study so I went out and met with Trisha to distract myself.

"Kai."

I looked at her beside me. We're sitting on a bench on a park. It's a Sunday afternoon and there were people strolling around, kids playing, and adults watching their children.

"Yeah? Sorry. What were you saying?"

"May problema ka ba?" she asked carefully

"May problema lang sa bahay. It's nothing," I smiled weakly

"You can tell me about it."

My gaze lowered down on the grass while thinking about my problems these past few weeks. Wala akong ibang mapagsabihan bukod sa kanya. I'm only comfortable with her. I also rarely open up to anyone but since we're close friends, it was okay for me to share perhaps a piece of me to her. Knowing Trisha, she's a good listener.

"I'm just tired. I'm tired with school and whenever I go home, lagi nalang may problema. My parents are always fighting. I feel like they're going to separate. I'm scared of the idea. I just have no idea what's going on with my life anymore. It has become too repetitive. Walang araw na hindi ako nag-alala. Our family's bond is not as strong and happy. It's becoming weaker as time goes by. I feel like we're slowly falling apart and I couldn't do anything but to watch.

"My mom told me not to worry so I just...I have no choice but to live on with my life. It's just hard to get everything together. I feel pressured being the eldest son. Of course, my parents have high expectations from me. I want to make them proud. I want to give back to them. I have a lot of responsibilities. Patong patong pa yung problema. My parents are constantly fighting. My sister needs to get an operation. We're suffering financially. I don't even know if I'll be able to go to college given our situation. I'm also having a hard time in school with all my problems. I can't cope it anymore. I don't know how to maintain my grades anymore. I feel like I'm not doing enough. I'm not doing my best. I'm constantly doubting myself. Will I ever be enough?

"Sometimes, I'm scared to wake up in the morning because what if mawala nalang sa'kin ang lahat bigla bigla?"

I heard her sigh. "I understand how you feel Keith. At the end of the day, you just want to be a good son and a brother. I hope you'll have courage to talk to your parents about this too so that they could understand you better. There will always be doubts and obstacles along the way but I believe you can overcome them all Keith and be happy in the future. I'll always believe in you. I'm always here by your side every step of the way."

Throughout the years of our friendship, it's always hard for me to talk about these things to her but she'd always meet me at the other side.

"You're doing great Keith. You are enough. For me, you are the best! Not the second best, but the best. No one can tell me otherwise," she proudly said

I chuckled softly. "Thanks Trisha."

She moved closer to me and patted my back. "Just to remind you, I won't leave you...ever. Dadamayan kita sa lahat ng problema mo. We'll go hand and hand to reach our dreams. We'll overcome the obstacles every step of our way. And if you can no longer fight, we'll rest. I'll still be with you during those moments. In times of defeat and in times of victory."

"I couldn't ask for a better friend like you Tris. Thank you for being a good listener. You're like my guardian angel.."

She blushed as she tries to hide her smile. She arched her brow. "I must look like an angel to you."

"You are an angel sent from above."

She chuckled then rolled her eyes. "You and your banats. It will never get old."

I gently patted her head too. "I feel much better now my beautiful guardian angel."

"Konti nalang maniniwala na ako na crush mo rin ako."

I only laughed at her statement. She didn't find it funny. She sighed and pouted. I find it cute.

An ice cream man suddenly passed by us. Sinundan namin iyon ng tingin at nagkatinginan din kami ni Trisha. We both smiled and nodded to buy ice cream.

Whenever I'm with Trisha, I always forget about my problems. She never fails to cheer me up. She became the light in the darkest days of my life. She inspires me to be hopeful and positive. My heart became more open to her. She's too precious for this world. I want to protect her too.

My path towards my dream of a bright future is still blurry but I believe it will lead me to greatness someday.

Days went by and it's been hard for me to focus on my studies. I wasn't doing very well lately. The amount of schoolworks I have kept on piling up. No matter how hard I try to finish them, I couldn't help but to drown and dwell on my problems instead. I was slowly losing my drive and motivation to do better. Will I be able to get back on track?

"Hey Keith. Have you seen Fey?" I heard someone asked beside me. I closed my locker and glanced at her. It was Lou.

"No. Why?"

"I thought you were doing a project together," she said while chewing a bubble gum

"We're already done with the project. Haven't seen her nor talked to her since then."

She looked away and thought deeply. "Damn. Where could she be?"

"You're her friend. You should know that."

She rolled her eyes and laid back on the lockers. "E 'di sana hindi na kita tinanong kung alam ko."

"Have you checked the library?"

"She's not there."

"Maybe she didn't go to school today."

"Fey? No way. Hindi yun umaabsent."

"Maybe she did, today."

She clicked her tongue. "I mean, she's also getting distant from me. I don't know why. She just...changed. Naisip ko baka may naikwento ba siya sa'yo or?"

I shook my head. "None. Maybe she just wants to be alone or perhaps she's busy. There could be plenty of reasons."

"Tss. Kala mo naman talaga close kayo o baka naman, may something na sa inyo?" she has a sly smile plastered on her face

"We're civil. Ang issue niyo masyado," I said and walked passed her

I turned to the hallways at sakto ay biglang nahagip ng mata ko si Fey. She just entered the campus. Dire-diretso lang ang lakad niya papuntang library. She stopped when she saw me. I gave her a small smile. She looked away and entered the library.

From then on, I decided to distance myself from her. Not that her father told me so, but because I want to give her personal space and to respect her privacy after the incident that happened to her. She must still feel uncomfortable and conscious with people around her. I didn't want to put more burden to her. I don't want to get involved with her family again But if she needs help whenever we have a group project together, I'd gladly help her.

The good news is, that cousin of her, Archie apparently transferred to a different school. He must got expelled or something. I didn't exactly know what happened to him but I'm glad he's gone now. If he isn't, he might end up harassing other girls in this school and none of the people here would probably give a shit about it. I just hope Fey can finally breathe in peace now. Well, Archie is still part of her family which is unfortunate for her.

When classes were over, sabay kami ni Trisha naglakad pauwi. She actually asked me if we can study together at my house. I didn't hesitate to agree. While we're walking, I noticed she was unusually quiet. Her mind was somewhere else. Her eyes were fixed on the road while thinking deeply. I got worried, baka may problema siya so I eventeually asked her.

"Trisha?"

Napatingin siya sa'kin. "Hmm?"

"Is there something wrong? You seem quiet."

Her lips parted. "Ahh, wala. Ano lang kasi..uhm."

"What is it? You can tell me."

"Wala ito. Mababaw lang," she chuckled awkwardly

"If that's the case, why not tell me?"

She bit her lip and sighed. "Uh, close ba kayo nung...Fey?"

My brows furrowed. "What? Fey?"

She slowly nodded. She couldn't look at me in the eye.

"Hmm. We're friends but we're not that close. We just work on a project most of the time since we're the top pupils in class. Why'd you ask?"

"Ah..napapansin ko lang na madalas kayong magkasama. My classmates like two of you together although some label you as rivals or enemies. I don't know why," she smiled nervously. "I also heard tons of stories about Fey eversince I transferred. I've heard she's the most popular, smartest, and richest student in school. Close rin daw kayo."

I rubbed my neck. "That is true. Gano'n din ako nung nagtransfer ako. You'll get used to it."

"Do you...like her?" she asked carefully, a bit hesitant

My brows furrowed at her sudden question. "What? No. I don't like her. I only see her as a friend. Why'd you even ask that?"

"Nothing. I just thought you...have a crush on her like everybody else."

"I don't easily get attracted to anyone. There's more to looks and wealth for me."

"You don't find her attractive? I mean, she's drop dead gorgeous."

"She's beautiful. Too perfect I believe but she's just not my type."

"What is your type?"

I chuckled. "That's a secret."

She frowned. "Ang daya. Sasabihin ko rin yung type ko."

I smirked. "I already know your type."

"Ikaw nga.."

"Then you're my type too."

When we got home, I saw my sister on the living room. Lumiwanag ang mukha niya pagkakita sa'min. I thought she's going to greet me but then she immediately ran towards Trisha.

"Ate Trisha!" she said happily

"Hi Kate! I missed you." Trisha smiled and hugged her

Kumalas na sila sa yakap. "I missed you too ate. Hindi ko alam na pupunta ka dito."

"Well, surprise! Matagal na kitang gustong makita ulit. It's been a while since I last visited. Ang laki mo na. You're so beautiful as well. Grabe genes niyo magkapatid."

I rubbed my neck in embarrassment.

She chuckled. "Thank you ate. You're pretty too."

My sister pulled Trisha on the living room and left me standing at the door. They talked and catch up with each other. Trisha became close to Kate. They look like siblings as well since they share the same interest and hobbies. While they were having girl talks, I went upstairs to change clothes. When I returned, I saw them watching TV and dancing with some kpop song.

"Ate. Sino bias mo sa Blackpink?" Kate asked

"Miss Jennie Kim!"

"Mine is Jisoo!"

"Omg! She's my bias wrecker, but I love them all equally!"

They laughed and did a highfive to each other before dancing again. I smiled while watching them but they suddenly stopped when they saw me. Nahiya sila bigla.

"I didn't know you're a dancer Tris," I commented as I walk towards the kitchen

"Feeling dancer lang naman! Stan mo blackpink!"

"Kuya, bili mo ko lightstick!"

"Ako rin!"

Napailing nalang ako at uminom ng isang baso ng tubig. Since my parents are still in work, I decided to just order food for us. I payed for it from my allowance. When the food arrived, we ate in the living room and study together. We did our homeworks first and then we watched a movie after. They both eventually fall asleep beside me. I stood up and cleaned our mess before my parents arrive. When Trisha woke up, hinatid ko naman siya pauwi.

"Thanks Kai. I had a fun day today. I hope you did you," she said when we stopped in front of her house

I smiled and put my hands inside my pockets. "You're welcome. I had fun too. I'm glad that I get to spend more quality time with you and my sister since I was always busy and stressed with school. Thanks for the company."

She smiled back. "More of this soon! Sige, uh, salamat ulit. Papasok na ako. See you tomorrow sa school!"

I waved my hand. "Alright. See you tomorrow."

She took a step back and slowly turned around. I thought she's going to enter inside her house but to my surprise, she suddenly went back to me and gave me a quick peck on the cheek before running inside her house.

My body stiffened on the spot. She caught me off guard. Napakurap-kurap ako sa nangyari. I held my cheek and the scene flashed before my eyes. That's why until I was walking way back home, I couldn't get if off my mind anymore.

The next day, I got called in the principal's office to talk about the seminar in UP which they have chosen me to be the participant. I was happy when they announced that it was going to be me to attend but all of a sudden, changes were made.

"I'm sorry Keith. I hope you understand. That was our final decision and in the end, we chose Felicity. But don't worry, meron pa namang next year. I'm sure-"

I shook my head, refuse to believe her words. "No. I don't understand. How..how did this happen? Bakit bigla nalang nagbago ang isip niyo? You already told us yesterday here that it was me."

She sighed and fixed her glasses. "I know and we're deeply apologize for our mistake-"

"Mistake? I was a mistake?"

She cleared her throat. "I mean. I hope you didn't get it the wrong way Keith. We just think that Felicity deserves it. Hindi lang naman ako ang nagdesisiyon kundi lahat din kaming lahat ng teachers. The majority of them voted for Felicity."

Napasandal ako sa upuan. "Then why did you choose me in the first place if you'll eventually take it back? Why did you give me false hope?"

"You are a good student Keith. Both of Fey and you are. I'm sorry kung nabigla ka sa pagbabago. Like I've said, there will always be a next time."

"That's not my point ma'am. Pinaasa niyo ko. You made me look stupid again in front of her. I don't believe your explanation. I feel like that this has something to do with his father again," I swallowed hard

Her lips parted in shock but before she could speak, I stood up and stormed out of the room. I slowly clenched my fist when I saw Fey in the hallway. Nagtama ang mata namin. I immediately looked away and walked to the opposite direction.

My rage is starting to build up again and it's hard for me to control it. I was so pissed by what she told me. I didn't buy any of this bullshit. The thought of her father might be involved in this made me furious! Sawang-sawa na ako sa kanila.

"I worked hard for every accomplishment that I have right now," her voice started to shake. "It's not my fault if you can't see that because you are by the rumors about me. Or maybe, you're just jealous of me!"

For a second, I thought she already changed but I guess she's still the same old Fey.

I didn't care if she was in the verge of tears 'cause my heart was filled with anger and pain. I wouldn't expect her to understand my pain. I feel worthless again. My hardwork felt invalidated and it affected me to the point, I'm starting to question myself again. I began to doubt if I'm actually working hard enough. I don't think I'll ever meet their expectations. But still, at the end of the day, she will always choose her.

I swallowed hard. "Without your father's money, you wouldn't be here. Wala akong pakielam kung isumbong mo ko. That's what you're good at right? Go ahead. Go run and cry to him. Even if you hit rock bottom, may sasalo at may sasalo pa rin sa'yo."

Tinalikuran ko na siya at naglakad palayo. I stopped momentarily when I saw Trisha just a few meters away, watching us. Her lips parted when our eyes met. Umiwas ako ng tingin at nilagpasan siya. I can feel her eyes followed me but I didn't care. I didn't want to talk to her or anyone at the moment dahil mainit pa ang ulo ko. I want to be alone for now.

Then the next day, I saw her talking to Fey at school. They were at the field. The same spot where we last spoke. I watched them from afar. The hallway was empty and all of the students seem to be in their classes. Hindi ko alam kung ano pang ginagawa nila sa field. I couldn't help but to go to them.

"I saw you and Keith fighting yesterday. What did you do this time? Akala mo ba hindi ko alam ang reputasyon mo dito sa school? I know what you did to Keith before in the past. Bakit ang hilig mo lagi mantapak ng ibang tao? Just because you came from a rich and influential family?"

My feet automatically stopped when I heard what Trisha said. Her back was facing me and all I can see was Fey's reaction. She looked calm but deep down she's holding back her anger.

"I don't know what you're talking about. Not all rumors were true. Can you just mind your own business?"

Trisha scoffed, offended by what she said. "Now you're being a brat. I don't understand out of all the students here, why do you always attack Keith? Are you jealous of him? You want to take over his spot? He's so much better than you anyway. Yaman lang naman ang lamang mo."

Fey inhaled sharply and before she can even response, I stepped in and pulled Trisha away from her. Nagulat siya sa ginawa ko.

"Keith!"

Without looking back, I held her hand and we both walked away from Fey until we got back inside the campus. We turned to the hallway where no one can spot us. I let go of her hand and faced her.

"Why did you do that Tris?" I asked, my voice filled with annoyance

She blinked twice. "What?"

I took another step closer to her. "Bakit kailangan mo siyang awayin?"

Her lips parted. "I didn't fight with her. I just talked to her about what happened between the two of you yesterday. Hindi ko palalampasin yung ginawa niya."

I sighed and ran my fingers through my hair. "Dapat hinayaan mo nalang. You just made the situation worse. What if isumbong ka no'n sa papa niya?"

"E 'di isumbong. I don't care!"

"Stop being stubborn Tris. Hindi mo kailangang gawin iyon," I scolded

She scoffed. "I just defended you Keith. I know what she and her great father did kahit hindi mo pa sabihin sa'kin. Of course I got hurt when I found out. Alam ko kung gaano mo kahirap pinaghirapan iyon and you deserve it then it just got taken away from you in just a snap?"

"Trisha.."

Then tears began to form in the corner of her eyes. "I hate the way how some students treat you here. I'm not just saying this because you're my friend but because I know you deserve more what you have right now. I hate that your effort that you put does not equate to the reward you receive but you're still okay with it. Lagi mo nalang tinitiis e."

"Because at the end of the day, there's nothing I can do about it."

"Then the next day, people are going to talk about you at magmumukha ka nanamang masama. Hindi ka naman gano'n e. I'm not okay with it," she firmly said. "I understand why you confronted her. She deserves it."

I was about to reach for her hand but she clenched her fist in anger.

"I just want to stand up for you too. Why are you upset when I confronted her where in fact, mas masasakit pa yung sinabi mo sa kanya. She must be taught a lesson."

I swallowed hard. "Look, I'm not mad at you. I know you're worried about me but I'm okay now. I was just extremely stressed and tired that's why I said those things. We don't know what she's going through too Tris. We all got issues anyway. You shouldn't have confronted her. Ano nalang ang sasabihin ng ibang students kapag nalaman nila ito? Baka madamay ka lang. Ayokong maranasan mo ang naranasan ko."

"Do you like her Keith?" diretso niyang tanong

My lips parted. I was caught of guard by her sudden question but my answer will always be the same. "No," I replied coldly

I want you Trisha.

We were envelop by silence. Nagkatitigan kami ng ilang segundo. I couldn't read her eyes. She avoided my gaze and walked passed me. I caught a glimpse of her tears. Yumuko ako at bumuntong hininga.

Trisha and I rarely fight, mostly are small arguments but when we do, I instantly regret it. That I unintentionally hurt her. Maybe I was the one who added more fuel to the flame. How can I protect her when I am the fire?

When I got home from school, I saw my parents fighting again. And this time, it was even worse than their last fight. Nakita kong magulo ang bahay. My parents are in the living room. I immediately searched for my sister and I saw her standing in the corner, crying while watching them fight.

"Maghiwalay nalang tayo kung gano'n. Wala ka nang ginawa kundi magdagdag ng problema rito sa bahay! Mas mabuting lumayas ka na! Magsama kayo ng babae mo!" my mom shouted

"Kahit hindi mo pa sabihin ay talagang aalis na ako sa pamamahay na ito. Pagod na pagod na rin ako Emily. Isasama ko sa'kin ang anak ko. Halika na Kate," my dad called my sister

I dropped my bag on the floor and immediately went to them. "Mom, dad. What's going on here?"

Sabay nila akong nilingon.

"Keith!" my mom exclaimed and pulled me to her. Her arms wrapped around me for a hug, I can hear her sobbing

Biglang bumilis ang tibok ng puso ko dahil sa kaba. "Mom. What's wrong? Ano nanaman ito?" I broke our hug to see her face. She was crying too.

She sniffed. "Keith. I'm s-sorry," her lips quivered

My brows furrowed. "What-

"Daddy! Why do we have to go?"

Napalingon ako pagkarinig sa boses ng kapatid ko. My dad was holding her hand beside him. There's two suitcases near the door. Bihis na bihis din silang dalawa.

"You're coming with me Kate. I promise you. Your life will be better than this," my dad told her

"But papa.." she wailed

I swallowed hard. My body froze on the ground but I tried my best to get closer to them.

"Pa. What is all this? Where are you going?" my voice sounded weak, panicked by the thought of them leaving

Dad looked at me apologetically. "I'm sorry son. Hiwalay na kami ng mama mo. It's not working for us anymore. I'm taking Kate to the states. Kung gusto mo, sumama ka na rin sa'min."

My lips parted in shock. "What?"

My mind couldn't register his words. His voice only echoed in my head. My biggest nightmare suddenly turned to reality.

"It's your choice Keith. I want you to come with me too. If I were you, I would.."

Dahan-dahan akong umiling. "N-no. No one's leaving."

"Kuya.."

I looked at my sister beside him. She cried even more while looking at us, fear was evident in her eyes. I wanted to reach out to her but my feet can't seem to move. I can feel my heart beating wildly inside my chest with the tears that were threatening to fall from my eyes.

"Keith. H'wag kang sumama sa kanya. H'wag mo kong iwan," I heard mom behind me

"Dad..why? Why are you leaving us? Baka pwede naman nating pag-usapan ito," my voice broke

Instead of answering me, he looked away and shut his eyes. He glanced at his watch and back to Kate. "Malapit na ang flight namin. I'm giving you a chance Keith."

Umiling ako. "No. I won't l-let you leave. You didn't even answer my question!"

He sighed. "I'm sorry Keith. I've already told you. Hindi na namin kaya ng mama mo kahit siya ay ayaw niya na-

"So your solution is to leave us? Ano? Basta basta mo nalang kaming iiwan without any explanation? Why? Is it true that you have another woman besides mom? Is that why you're leaving us?"

His mouth gaped open. Yumuko siya at umiling. He walked towards the door and opened it. He also took the suitcase with him. My sister protested. Hindi ko na napigilan at agad silang nilapitan. I held Kate's wrist and pulled her away from him.

"I won't let you take away my sister dad," I said and looked at him sharply. My vision became blurry, trying to hold back my tears

"Keith. You can't do this," he firmly said

"You can leave but you're not going to take her away."

"Kuya.."

Hindi ko pinansin ang kapatid ko at nanatiling nakatingin kay papa. I held Kate's hand tightly, afraid to let her go. I can feel her eyes on me. She was still crying. Her soft whimpers felt like I'm being stabbed in the heart. It was hard for me to breathe. Nanikip bigla ang dibdib ko.

"You are not the one to decide Keith. I'm taking her with me," he said coldly and harshly pulled Kate away from me, feeling her hand slipped on mine

"No!"

I tried to get Kate back again but he blocked her from me. Napaatras ako. I suddenly felt mom beside me but my eyes didn't leave my sister.

"Kate.." I called her in a weak voice

She just stared at me but remained beside dad. Her eyes were bloodshot due to the amount of tears she's shed. Panay ang hikbi niya habang pabalik balik ang tingin niya sa'min ni mama.

"Kate. Do you w-want to be with papa or us?" I asked and I felt a tear escaped from my eye

She didn't speak. My attention was on her only. She looked up to dad with pleading eyes. Binalik niya ang paningin sa'min. Another batch of tears began to roll down her cheeks. My heart swelled at the sight. I just want to pull her to me again but my body turned weak.

Feeling my throat had gone dry, I managed to speak. "Kate.."

"She wants to be with me at wala ka nang magagawa pa roon," dad said

I sniffed. "Kate. W-why?" I walked closer to her but dad moved her away from me

"Kuya.."

My vision became blurry. I couldn't see her face clearly but her voice pierced through my heart.. "Don't go with him. Don't leave us," I begged in a small voice. Although my body felt weak, I gathered my remaining strength and slowly lifted my hand to her. "Kate, please. Be with us. Be with Kuya, hmm?"

She sobbed and wiped her tears. She slowly shook her head and looked away. My heart sank at her response. And with that, I broke down into tears. I tried to calm down my breathing but it felt like I was gasping for air. Gusto kong magsalita pero tila may nakabara sa lalamunan ko.

"We're leaving.." dad broke the silence

Before I can even protest, I found them outside the door. Dad was holding Kate on one hand while the other was pulling the suitcase on their way to the car. I was about to chase after them but mom held my hand.

"Keith."

Napatingin ako sa kanya. "Mom.."

She shook her head. "I'm s-sorry."

I gulped. "No. I w-won't let him take her," I said in a trembling voice. I remove her hand from mine and stormed out of the house. Narinig ko nalang ang makina ng kotse. My lips parted when I saw my sister on the window.

"Kate.."

My legs turned weak but I found myself running after the car but it was too late 'cause it abruptly drove away before I can even reach it.

Umiling ako at sinundan pa rin iyon. "Dad! Kate!" I shouted but my throat felt strained. I found myself on the road, running but I immediately run out of breath.

Bumagal ang pagtakbo ko hanggang sa tuluyan na silang nawala sa paningin ko. Hinabol ko ang hininga ko. I slowly fell on my knees on the hard ground as tears began to stream down my face uncontrollably. I clutched my chest, feeling my heart breaking into pieces. I clenched my fist in anger and punched the ground. My knuckles were bleeding but I couldn't feel any pain anymore. I shut my eyes, calling out in heaven to end this misery.

When I returned home, I saw my mother crying on the couch in our living room. She looked relieved upon seeing. She stood up and walked towards me.

"Keith!" she wailed and hugged me with both arms. Tulala lang ako habang nakatingin sa kawalan. We stayed there for a little while until I felt her slowly released me. I stared blankly at her face. She smiled weakly and caressed my cheek.

"Why did you let him take her ma?" I asked

Her lips parted. She couldn't utter a single word. Her eyes glistened in tears.

I swallowed hard. "Why didn't you do anything? Why did you let dad take my sister away?!"

Her gaze lowered down on the floor. She held my shoulders as her hand went down on my hands. Her shoulders began to tremble. All I could hear is her soft whimpers. She slowly fall down on her knees in front of me.

"I'm sorry K-keith. I didn't know what to do. I-I can't do anything."

I closed my eyes and another batch of hot tears roll down my face. "Why did this all happened all of a sudden? At a Friday afternoon, pagkauwi ko galing school? And just like that. Dad left us. He took my sister too. Kate is gone now. She's not with us anymore. And you didn't do anything."

"It's your father's fault," she said hoarsely in between her sobs

"I thought you love her mom? I thought you care about her. You told me not to worry...pero bakit biglang nagkaganito?"

"Y-yes. I do love her so much. Kahit ako ay nabigla. Nagising nalang ako isang araw at gusto na tayong iwan ng papa mo. Hindi ko na rin kaya anak. Masyado na kaming nahihirapan sa isa't isa."

I sniffed. "This is what I was scared about and you always tell me not to worry but suddenly, everything that I was afraid to happen eventually happened."

"I'm so sorry Keith. Sana mapatawad mo si mama..I love you so much. I promise to take care of you kahit na wala na ang papa mo. Andito pa rin ako."

"Everything will not be the same anymore."

Her words felt nothing to me. It only added more salt to my wounded heart. I wiped my tears and walked away from her. I ran upstairs and locked myself inside my room. I cried all day hoping it will ease the pain away...but it didn't. My heart was broken at the thought that I might never see my sister again.

"It's already been a month. I didn't expect that my parents would separate. And that my dad would leave us and brought Kate with him. Now, it's just me and my mom," I told Trisha

"I'm sorry to hear that Kai. It must be hard for you and your mom. I don't understand, why did he leave you and took your sister away? Biglaan naman," she sighed in dismay. "Don't they love each other anymore?"

"I guess so. Nahihirapan na raw sila sa isa't isa. Like I've told you before, they were always fighting. Nagkatotoo nga yung sinabi ko na baka...maghiwalay sila," I said. "I guess they didn't care about what Kate and I would feel. We couldn't do anything about it and it just frustrates me."

"Do you still keep in contact with your sister?"

"Thankfully, yes pero madalang lang. She told me she was doing well. Dad found a new work there. I don't know, maybe he also found a replacement for mom. Everything hasn't sunk into me yet," I sighed in frustration

She wrapped her arms around my shoulder and pulled me closer. She sniffed and I can hear her soft whimpers. "I'm here Keith. You can tell me everything. I know it's hard and words are not enough to make you feel better but I just want you to remember that you're not alone in this. Sana maayos din ang lahat."

"I'm sorry Tris. I don't want to be a burden to you with my problems.."

"You're not a burden Keith. I already told you, I'm always here for you through ups and downs." She hugged me tighter and I let myself cry on her shoulders

"Thank y-you Trisha.."

She caressed my back and continued to whisper comforting words to me. We stayed there for a while in comfortable silence. My body relaxed and my heartbeat became steady. She was able to relieve my aching heart. I became vulnerable around her and she accepted it wholly. I never thought I needed her the most until now. I was angry at this chaotic world but I found peace in her.

***

"Keith. Do you want this?" my mom asked while holding a shirt

I got back to my senses when she called me. "What?" I turned around and looked at the shirt. "Uh, okay lang naman."

She smiled at me. "I'll buy this for you."

"You...would?"

"Of course. Ang tagal na rin nating hindi nakakapasyal. You know, mother and son bonding."

"But not as a whole family. It's not the same anymore."

Nawala ang ngiti sa labi niya. She sighed and went to another rack with clothes. "How about this one Keith?" she showed me a polo shirt

"When can I see Kate again? Will I ever see her?"

"Kate? Didn't you talk to her the other day?" her voice turned weak

"I want to see her mom. Don't you miss her? Are they going to come back?"

She turned around and walked towards me. "Of course I miss her Keith. Everyday. I want to see her too but...maybe soon? Don't worry too much about her. She's doing fine in the states with your papa."

"So you think she's better with dad than us? Is her life better there?"

She smiled weakly. "If she's happy there then I'm happy too."

"Hindi ba siya masaya kapag kasama tayo? I don't know why she didn't want to be with us. She chose dad over..us," I trailed off

"Keith.."

"Maybe you don't understand how hurt I am ma because I've spent more time with Kate. It's always us two. We're always together. You guys are always busy. You barely have time for us. Sanay ako lagi na siya ang kasama ko. I can't bare to be away from her for too long. Half of me is missing. I promised to her that we won't be separated from each other. But now that she's away, it's not the same anymore. I..I-I couldn't take it.."

My chest feels heavy with our conversation. Mom seems okay now unlike me who's still can't accept the fact that Dad already left us with Kate. Our family is broken now including my heart and soul. But deep down, I'm still hoping that they'll get back together soon. Dad will come back to us. We'll be reunited again as family. I'll see my sister again.

"Keith.."

"There's suppose to be a custody of a parent under their child. She's suppose to be with us."

Her lips parted. "I...I know that but it's complicated in our situation."

"Because we can't afford a lawyer," I admitted. "What if I'll be a lawyer instead? Will it help us bring her back to us?"

Tears began to form in the corner of her eyes and I couldn't help but to tear up too. She pulled me in for a hug.

"I miss her mom. I still can't accept the fact that she's not with us. I know she's doing well there but I'm sure she misses us too. She wants to be with us too. Alam kong hindi niya kayang tumagal doon. She must be feeling lonely and sad. She's still young mom. Baka may iba na ring pamilya roon si papa. Paano siya? She deserves to be with us."

She caressed my hair and kissed the top of my head. "There's really nothing I can do as much as I want to. I believe we'll see her soon someday. For now, I want to make up to you."

The next day, mom and I visited her workplace. She wanted me to see her work and meet the kids she's been taking care of.

"Emily! Day off mo ngayon ah, naparito ka?" a nurse approached us as soon as we stepped in the hospital

Mom smiled at her. "Hi Lauren," she greeted back. "Naisipan ko lang ipakita sa anak ko kung saan ako nagtatrabaho."

"And who is this handsome young boy?" the nurse named Lauren looked at me

Tipid akong ngumiti. "My name is Keith. It's nice to meet you."

She gasped. "Ayan na ba ang anak mo? Binata na pala at ang gwapo rin."

Mom chuckled. "Oo actually first time niya palang bumisita rito kaya.."

She slowly nodded. "Ahh eh pero teka, 'di ba may isa ka pang anak na babae?"

Mom and I looked at each other. We got saved by the bell when a nurse called her to get back to work. Nagpaalam na rin siya sa'min.

"Sige ah, balik na ako sa trabaho. It's nice to meet you rin Keith," sabi niya at umalis na sa harapan namin

Mom held my arm. "Tara anak. Ipapakilala ko sa'yo yung mga batang inaalagaan ko rito."

I only nodded and followed her. While walking, I roamed my eyes around the place. There were children everywhere in all ages. I assume all of them are younger than me. Sinundan nila ako ng tingin at kinawayan. Ang ilan ay sumunod sa'min sa likod. There were some nurses who were taking care of them. I smiled back at them.

"Hi kuya!"

"Hello!"

"Sino kaya siya? Baka anak siya ni ma'am Emily."

"Hello."

I greeted them back as well until mom and I reached a room. She opened the door and inside were more children. They gasped upon seeing my mom.

"Mama Emily!" they said in unison and went to her. Mom knelt down and welcomed them with a hug. The rest were at the back watching us with a smile on their faces. I've noticed they are the one's who have disabilities on their bodies.

"Hello my dear children. How are you?" mom asked

"Akala po namin hindi na kayo papasok."

"Day off ko ngayon at bumisita lang ako."

"Sino po siya?" one of the kids looked at me

Mom turned her head and smiled at me. "Kids. I want you to meet my son, Keith." She held my hand and pulled me closer to them

Their eyes widened in surprise. "Woah! We finally get to meet your son."

I smiled and waved my hand at them. "Hi kids!"

"Hi kuya! Ano po name niyo?"

Nagulat ako noong bigla nila akong lahat nilapitan. Since some of them are short in height, they hugged my legs and tried to reach me but can't since I'm so much taller than them. I think they were around four to ten years old.

I knelt down and introduced myself to them properly. "Hi! My name is Keith. I'm so delighted to meet you kids."

Their eyes sparkled in joy and amazement. "Wah! Hi po kuya Keith!"

"Hi Kuya! Kayo po pala ang anak ni Ma'am Emily."

"Ilang taon na po kayo?"

I smiled. "I'm sixteen. What are your names?"

"I'm Jenny!"

"Hi, I'm Hannah."

"Sofia."

"Job."

"Peter!"

I chuckled when they all raised their hands. Paunahan pa silang pinakilala ang sarili sa'kin. They look excited and pleased when they met me.

"It's nice to meet you all of you too."

One girl tried to talk to me but then I realize she was mute. I smiled at her and patted her head. She was using sign language at me. I wish I knew how so I can talk to her to as well the others who have hearing problems. I stood up and went to the kids at the back. They were in a wheelchair. Some of them don't have arms or legs but I I still tried to communicate with them. My mom also helped me introduce myself to them.

"This is Cindy. She has down syndrome yet she's a very sweet and cheerful girl."

"Hi!" she greeted me

"Hello Cindy."

"And this is John. He has autism so there are times he's anxious meeting new people. He's usually quiet too but he's a very smart kid. He excels in art, music, math, and science," mom said

I slowly nodded while looking at John who's busy drawing and coloring on his notebook. He didn't pay much attention to us unlike the rest of the kids. Some were too shy to approach me as well.

"Siya naman si Mary. She has what you call Aphasia which is a disorder where a child faces trouble with forming a speech and communicating. Nahihirapan silang mag-pronounce ng mga words although the other kids here try to communicate with her too."

"Despite their disabilities, no seems to be left out. I mean, it must be harder for those who are blind, mute, and deaf to communicate," I pointed out

"Hands-on po sa'min mag-alaga ang mommy mo Kuya," the girl named Jane told me

I smiled at her and pinch her cheek. She giggled.

"I hope all of them gets along well. They do share one thing in common."

Mom looked at me. "Some of them just needs more assistance but they get along pretty well."

Biglang may kumalabit sa'kin. I turned around and saw a little girl showing me her drawing with a proud smile on her face. She was mute.

My eyes widened in surprise when I saw her drawing of a scenery. "Wow, you're so talented!" This is so beautiful."

Her smile grew wider upon hearing my compliment. She used a sign language to respond to me.

"She said thank you," my mom said

I smiled weakly. "I wish I know how to use sign language so I can talk to you well."

"I know how Kuya! I can teach you," one boy suddenly appeared behind me. It was Peter.

"Really? Would you teach me?"

He instantly nodded. Napansin ko na duling ang mata niya.

"He has problem with his right eye pero nakakakita pa naman siya kahit papaano," my mom said

"I'd love to learn from you Peter."

"I only know some basics but I hope it can help you."

I nodded and he began to teach me some basic sign languages like how to introduce my name, thank you, good bye, you're welcome, keep safe, and other common phrases. It was fun learning from him. The other kids were watching us. They too, wanted to teach me eagerly with enthusiasm.

"Kuya. Can you teach me these sentences? Some are hard to pronounce," Sofia showed me a book that she's reading

"Me too Kuya Keith. Meron akong coloring book. Let's color some animals!"

"I want Kuya to help me solve this math problem."

"Ako nauna.."

I chuckled. "Calm down kids. Kuya will help all of you."

They smiled and bounced on their feet. "Yay! Kuya will teach us all."

"And mama Emily too!"

My mom stood beside me. "I guess the kids like you Keith."

I smiled shyly. "I didn't expect it either given our first meeting. They're all so kind and friendly. I'm a bit shy mom."

"Mas lalo kayong magiging close kapag nagtagal. Madalas ko kayong ikwento ni Kate sa kanila. Gustong gusto nga rin kayo na makilala. Sabi ko soon, ipapakilala ko kayo sa kanila. That's why they were so happy to see you."

"I'm sure Kate would love to meet them too."

She looked at me apologetically. Nilapitan ko na ang mga bata at tinulungan sila. They were circled in a small table with their books in front of them. I sat beside them on the floor.

"She sells seashells by the seashores," I read the sentence clearly to Jade

"She sells s-seashells..by the s-seashores," she repeated

"Good job! Your pronunciation was better."

She giggled. "Thank you Kuya."

I flipped through the next page. "Oh, here's a more challenging one. A longer tongue twister," I said. "Betty bought some butter, but the butter was bitter. So Betty bought some better butter to make the butter better."

She scratched her head, brows furrowed while carefully reading the words. "Betty bought some butter..but the butter was b-bitter," she paused momentarily. "So Betty bought some..better butter to m-make the b-butter better," she slowly read

I smiled and patted her head. "Just a little more practice and you'll be able to read it efficiently. You're quite a fast learner."

She nodded and read the sentence again.

Binalingan ko naman si Sofia. I helped her color the animals in the picture. The crayons were scattered on the table.

"What's your favorite color Kuya?"

"Blue and Gray. How about you?"

"Mine is purple! That's why I'm coloring this butterfly purple," she bit her lip while smiling

"Butterfly must be your favorite animal then?"

She nodded. "Yup! But I actually love all animals. I can't pick a favorite. I want to have a pet goldfish."

I suddenly felt sad when I remember my pet dog, Kiwi. Napansin niya iyon.

"Do you have a pet kuya?"

I sighed. "I had a pet dog but sad to say, he...died."

Her lips parted. "Aww, really? I'm sorry to hear that."

"It's okay," I smiled at her again and colored the koala

"Ang pogi niyo rin pala Kuya," someone commented

Napatingin ako kay Jenny na siyang nagsalita. "Aww, thank you. You look beautiful Jen."

She blushed and her friends teased her.

"Sana nakikita ko rin si kuya," sabi naman ni Job. He was blind and I couldn't help but to feel sympathy towards him

"You can still hear my voice Job. I'm right in front of you."

He smiled and waved his hand at me.

I spent atleast an hour with the kids.

"Kuya. Kailan po ulit kayo bibista?"

I rubbed my neck. "Uhm, I'm not sure yet. I already have school tomorrow. But I'll try to visit you kids again on weekends if I'm not busy, okay?"

They all nodded at the same time. "Okay! Goodluck din po sa studies niyo!"

"Thank you rin po for helping us. Ang bait niyo po!"

"Excited po ako ulit na makita ka next week kuya. Ingat po kayo pauwi ni ma'am Emily."

"Bye bye po!"

I smiled and waved my hands at them. "Bye kids. I had a fun time with all of you. This won't be the last time. Looking forwards in our next meeting. I'll see you soon!"

Nagpaalam na rin si mama at sabay na kaming lumabas ng kwarto

"So, how does it feel like meeting the kids?" she asked as soon as we got home

"It's a memorable experience. Thanks for introducing me to them and to your workplace."

She went to the fridge and poured me a glass. She put it on the kitchen counter and I gladly drank it.

"I knew you'd like them at gano'n din sila sa'yo."

"It must be hard taking care of them," I said weakly

She sighed. "Mahirap talaga. Kokonti lang din kasi kami sa trabaho kaya gano'n pero ayos lang kasi masaya rin sila makasama. Kailangan nga lang habaan ang pasensiya."

Yumuko ako. "I'm sorry for the things I said to you before. I should have been more considerate with your work."

I felt her walked towards me. She raised my chin and looked at my face. "It's okay Keith. Alam ko naman na may pagkukulang din ako sa inyo bilang magulang. But now, I'm happy that I get to spend more time with you."

"Thanks mom.."

She gave me a small smile and pulled me for a hug. I let my head rest on her shoulders, feeling her warmth that I've yearned for so long.

I hate to admit this but sometimes, I'm glad my sister isn't here because this is the only time mom has her full attention on me. Ngayon ko nalang ulit naramdaman ang pag-aalaga at pagmamahal niya sa'kin. I can truly feel that I'm her son.

"Have you already decided what to take in college?" she asked while we eat dinner

"Hmm, not yet mom."

"Don't you want to pursue med?"

"Do you want me to be a doctor like you?"

"Well, option ko lang naman yun. You might want to consider it. Baka magustuhan mo rin. Bagay din kasi sa'yo. You're a smart kid Keith. I can see you as a doctor," she teased

"I want to be a doctor so I can also help my sister with her operation," I said. "And after meeting those children, I want to help them too."

She gave me a small smile. "I'm sure you'll be a great doctor someday."

After talking to my mom, I have made up my mind to pursue medicine. I never dreamed of becoming a doctor but this might be the sign. I wish to help people. Mom wants it for me too. She inspired me and she's the reason why I wish to pursue it.

Our conversation was interrupted when someone suddenly knocked on the door. Sabay kaming napalingon ni mama roon.

"Ako na," mom told me and stood up. She walked towards the door and opened it.

"Oh, Michelle. Naparito ka?"

It was our neighbor. Tita Michelle.

"Ah eh oo. Sorry sa istorbo mare ah. Kumakain ba kayo?" sumilip siya sa loob at nginitian ako

"Oo."

"Pasensiya na ah pero pwede ba akong mangutang? Babayaran ko sa susunod na araw. Pag dumating na yung sahod ko."

"Gano'n ba? S-sige. Teka lang ah. Magkano ba kailangan mo?" Mom went back inside and searched for her wallet. She took on top of the counter and went to the door again. She was hesitant at first but in the end, she lend her some money

"Naku, salamat Emily," Tita Michelle said when she received the money

Mom smiled at her. "Walang anuman. Sana makatulong."

"Sensiya na ulit sa abala ah. Sige, mauuna na ako. Eat well. Salamat ulit. Bye Keith," she waved her hand at me at the door

I only gave her a small smile. Mom closed the door when she finally left. She sat back again on the dining table with me. She drank first water and continued to eat.

"Pinautang mo siya ma?"

She looked at me. Her soft angelic features made my heart ached with sympathy. "Oo, bakit?"

I stared down at my plate. "Pero gipit din tayo ngayon ma. May pera pa ba tayo?"

"Ah eh..oo naman. Meron pa naman," she smiled awkwardly

Hindi ako sumagot.

"Anak. Wala namang masama magpautang. Mas mabuti yung nakakatulong tayo sa kapwa. Tsaka si Ate Michelle mo 'yan. Matagal na nating kapitbahay. Matalik ko rin na kaibigan."

I smiled weakly. "Halos nga po lahat sila nangutang sa'tin. Matagal na rin silang nangungutang. Did they already pay you back?"

"Oo. Hindi agad pero marunong naman sila magbayad. Hayaan mo, babalik din naman ang pera natin. Mabuting asal yung nakatulong tayo lalo't kailangan nila. Babalik din sa'tin yung kabutihan na binigay natin sa kapwa natin. Kapag tayo naman ay may kailangan ng tulong, siguradong tutulungan din nila tayo."

"I wish that's the case for everyone," I muttered

My mom was too kind. She's always willing to help people no matter what the circumstances are. I know she's having a hard time and I hate that I couldn't do anything to help. I want to grow up quickly and get a job to get us out of this miserable life...and get my sister back.

***

"I passed the entrance exam in UP," I immediately told Trisha as soon as I received the result

She screamed. "Omg! Congrats! I knew you'd pass!" she jumped over me to hug me

I smiled and patted her back. "Thank you," I said when we broke our hug

"So, ano na palang kukunin mo?" she smiled in excitement

"I choose to study medicine. Just like my mom."

Her eyes widened in surprise. "That's great. Mahirap din ang med ah pero alam kong kayang kaya mo yun. I can imagine you as a handsome doctor," she winked at me. "Ano palang klase ng doctor? Surgeon? Ophthalmologist? Neurosurgeon?"

"Hmm. I'm still not sure about that yet. I want to try to become a speech pathologist. The other day, my mom and I visited her workplace and I met a bunch of children with special needs. My heart was touched by their stories. I think at that moment, I want to help them too. My mom inspired me. I also had a fun time with the kids. It was a new experience for me."

She slowly nodded and smiled. "I see. I can also see the desire and passion in your eyes that you wish to help them. And the love you have for kids. So sweet! Mas lalo lang kitang naging crush."

I chuckled. "You always try to bring that in our conversation."

"It's a compliment too you know," she stated as a matter of fact. "By the way, have you already told your mom about this? I'm sure she'd be happy and proud that you pass the exam!"

"Not yet. I'll tell her later when I get home. I'm quite nervous to tell her actually."

"Why would you be? You should feel proud na magiging iskolar ka na ng bayan."

I rubbed my neck, feeling embarrassed.

"Hintayin mo rin ako ah. I'll also study in UP like you. Sana makapasa rin ako," she said and crossed her fingers

"Well, you have on year left to go before college. For now, let's enjoy our remaining highschool days."

She sighed. "Wala ka na pala next year. Kung lumipat nalang din kaya ako sa UP pag fourth year ko?"

I chuckled. "Isang taon na lang, lilipat ka pa?"

"Mamimiss kita e."

"It's not like I'm moving to the U.S. We would still see each other, but not as often like now."

Napayuko siya. "Yun na nga. Magdodorm ka."

"I'm actually reluctant of the idea. Kapag nagdorm ako, maiiwan si mama sa bahay. I mean, she already feels sad and lonely now that dad and Kate is gone. I don't want to leave her."

"Oo nga. Mas malulungkot nga pala si tita. Bibisitahin ko nalang siya araw-araw sa inyo," she smiled widely

I raised my brow, amused. Binalik ko ang paningin sa harap. "Now that I'm graduating soon, I want to graduate as Valedictorian with flying colors for her. I'll study hard and earn more awards so she can hang me the medals up on stage. I just wish my dad and my sister would attend my graduation too. Not just my highschool but in college as well."

"Aatend din ako."

I smiled and looked at her. "Of course you would."

***

When I got home, the house has never felt more empty than ever. I was used to being greeted by my sister whenever I come home, but now it's just the furnitures, walls, windows, and hollow spaces in between. It felt cold and lonely. Amoy kulob din ang bahay. There's no life in here anymore. It looks dead to me. I don't even feel like living here.

Sometimes, I'd see my sister running around and playing everywhere. I'd also hear her cheerful voice and her laugh that can take all my weariness away. But now it's only me and my loud thoughts echoing in between these walls. I realized I feel much more lonely without her.

The day when they left us flashed before my eyes. I didn't know if I was hallucinating but I see us playing the scene. I saw mom, my sister, and me crying. I was standing the spot where dad was standing. Then I saw him took my sister away from me and they both head out to the door. I panicked so I immediately reached out for them but they suddenly disappeared. And I snapped back to reality when I realized it was just my imaginations all along. My arm left hanging in the air. I roamed my eyes around the house, just like facing my miserable reality.

The house looks abandoned. It's kinda old and dirty. We don't have time to clean it since mom is busy with work while me in school. The kitchen top is covered in dust. The sink is filled with dirty dishes. There are cobwebs forming on the corner of the walls up to the ceiling. I saw a spider hanging upside down. The paintings of the walls began to fade in color. My bare feet on the floor felt cold and rough. I saw a roach passed by and crawled under the fridge. There are leftover food on the table from last night. It's getting rotten.

There's bread that mom bought on the bakery. It's on top of the table. I held my stomach when it started to growl. I decided to eat it but I noticed it was surrounded with ants. I sighed and removed all of it. I opened the bottle of peanut butter and to my frustration, there's also few ants inside. I took a spoon and only got the part where there's no ants. I then spread it on the bread before eating it. The bread tasted old. I didn't know how long it's in here. It was hard to chew but I endured it. It's better than nothing, I suppose. Only to satisfy my hunger.

I went over to the fridge and I almost jumped when the roach appeared. It went away so fast before my eyes. I didn't know where it went after. I looked back at the fridge and the pitchers were all empty, except for one who's half-way empty. I noticed that the fridge was off too. I guess mom saving electricity. I took the pitchers out and filled them with water using our filter but unfortunately, there's no water coming out.

"Fuck," I whispered

In the end, I took the pitcher that's half-empty and poured the remaining water on a glass before drinking it. The water felt warm as it passed through my throat. It didn't quench my thirst enough. I wanted a cold drink but there's no ice. I heard a buzz noise near my ear only to realize there's a fly in the air. It landed on the bread I was eating a while ago. I turned to the sink and decided to wash the dishes but then I realized that we have no water. Not even a droplet.

I just checked our bills in the house such as the electricity, water, internet, and other bills. We're way passed our due date so that explains everything. I wouldn't be surprised anymore if we experience a brownout. I tossed back the bills on the counter and head my way upstairs. There's a low cracking sound of the wooden stairs and each step felt like it's gonna break but I managed to reach the second floor. I passed by my parent's room but I stopped when I saw someone from the corner of my eyes. For some reason, my heart began to raise frantically. I slowly turned my head and my body froze on the ground with what I just saw.

My mother, lying on the floor---unconscious.

My lips slowly parted in shock. My heart stopped beating for a split second. Mabilis ko siyang nilapitan at lumuhod sa harapan niya.

"Mom.."

I slowly turned her body around and I almost screamed when she looked as pale as a corpse. Para akong binuhusan ng malamig na tubig. I sat down on the floor and carefully placed her head on my legs. A bolt of terror crawled under my skin.

"M-mom. Mom, wake up," I called her desperately as tears began to fall from my eyes

I checked her pulse to see if she was breathing and my whole body shivered when she isn't. Tinapat ko rin ang tainga ko sa ilong niya at hindi ko siya maramdamang humihinga. My eyes widened in shock. I checked her face again. I held her cheek and tapped it, trying to wake her up.

"Mom. N-no. Please, wake up. What-" my lips quivered and I felt hot tears began to stream down my face.

I looked everywhere and my eyes caught something on the floor---bottle of pills. I sniffed and reached for it. My hands turned cold when I read that it was drugs. Some pills were scattered on the floor. I followed it and it ended on my mother's hand. My heart stopped beating for a split second. Unti-unti kong binalik ang paningin kay mama. I swallowed hard and I found myself sobbing.

"Mom. Why?!" I wailed

I shifted my weight and held her closer to me. I shut my eyes tightly and cried even more. Hindi na ako makahinga ng maayos. My hands were shaking while touching her face. Her skin felt cold. Sunod-sunod na tumulo ang luha ko sa pisngi niya. I couldn't see her clearly anymore. I wept loudly as a I scream her name, hoping to wake up from this dreadful nightmare.

"Why did you leave me mom? Y-you told me you wouldn't. Wake up, please."

She didn't speak nor move. Her eyes remained closed. My hands turned cold while holding her lifeless body between my arms. I saw my life slowly crumbled apart before my eyes. At that moment, I knew she was gone. All was left was nothing..

I wiped my tears as I watch her coffin getting buried underground. My chest felt heavy and my heart was slowly breaking into pieces. It was not long until I found myself sobbing, hoping it would lessen the pain but it grew more.

"Kai."

My body stiffened upon hearing that familiar voice. I slowly turned around and saw Trisha standing just five feet away from me. Her eyes were filled with melancholy and sympathy. I saw the visitors behind her. Only few attended and my mom's friends didn't even show up on her funeral. I suddenly remembered our last conversation. Turns out not everyone will return the same kindness that you've shown to them. The thought inflicted me more pain. Trisha slowly walked towards me, opening her arms out. I thought I was just hallucinating again but then she suddenly spoke.

"Keith. I'm so sorry," she said softly

I sniffed while looking at her. I wanted to reach out to her but there's no strength left in my body. My head lowered down on the ground while crying silently. I covered my mouth to prevent my tears from falling. My body relaxed when I felt her arms wrapped around me. She went closer and hugged me, her hands softly tousled my hair.

"I'm sorry," her voice quivered and I felt her tears on my shoulder

I slowly brought my arms on her back and hugged her tighter, feeling her warmth and comfort envelop around my body. I buried my head on her neck and cried even more. We stayed there for a long time. My soft whimpers were drowned with her comforting words whispering in my ear. She caressed my back and I could feel her steady heartbeat against my weeping heart.

"Trisha," I said in a weak voice

"Hmm? It's okay Kai. You can cry all you want.."

I closed my eyes and let my head rest on her shoulder. "Please don't leave me. Please don't. I can't afford to lose anyone anymore. Please, stay with me."

She sniffed. "I won't Keith. I promise I won't leave you," she replied in between her sobs

Unti-unti siyang kumalas sa yakap. She lifted my chin and stared at my face. Her eyes glistened in tears but she manages to give me a small smile. "I won't ever leave you, okay? I'll always be here for you," she said and caressed my cheek, wiping my tears away. Her soft hand brushed my skin that made me feel calm

I smiled weakly. Before I could see her tears fall, she hugged me again. I hugged her back, afraid to let her go. "Thank you.."

***

"Keith."

My thoughts were interrupted when I heard Fey beside me. We're here at her house again for a new group project but I couldn't focus at all since my mom just died the other day. Tulala lang ako habang nakatingin sa libro ko.

"Keith."

I slowly lifted my eyes on her. She looked at me apologetically. Then I felt her took my book away pero pinigilan ko siya. Her lips were slightly parted. "I'm almost done with this. Just give me a few minutes."

"Maybe you should take a break." I felt her hand on top of my arm on the table. Tuluyan niya ng kinuha ang libro sa'kin. "Ako na ang tatapos nito. You've already done enough. And I know you're going through a hard time right now," she smiled weakly. "I've heard about your mom. My deepest condolences for your loss."

Napayuko ako. "Thank you.."

"You should take a rest at home. Don't worry. I'll be able to finish this."

"I'm sorry."

"It's okay Keith. You don't need to feel sorry. Kung gusto mo, ipahatid kita kay Manong-"

I shook my head. "No thanks Fey. I can manage."

She only nodded. I stood up and fix my things. Nagpaalam ulit ako sa kanya pagkatapos. And before I could leave their house. I heard her mom called me.

"Keith."

I was already at the door but I turned around to face her.

She walked towards me. Her eyes filled with worry and sympathy. I was caught off guard when she suddenly hugged me. "I'm sorry for loss hijo. I want to convey my sincere condolences to you and your family during this difficult time," she said softly and caressed my back

Her sweet delicate voice almost reminded me of my mom. And I couldn't help but to shed a tear. "Thank you po."

Graduation finally arrived. Eventhough I graduated Valedictorian in highschool, hindi ako masyadong naging masaya. Although my hard work paid off, it's not wholly fulfilling to me. Some of my friends and classmates congratulated me including the teachers. They were proud of me but my heart still felt empty. I don't have my family to celebrate it with me. I was alone when I got up on stage. Trisha was present in the audience. I almost cried while delivering my speech. It was a bittersweet feeling. I was able to fulfill my promise to mom. And I hope she's proud of me in Heaven.

***

"Hello Kuya?"

My lips formed into a small smile when I heard my sister's voice.

"Hey, Kate. Glad you called. How are you? Did you eat?"

"Mm-hmm. Okay lang naman ako dito. Malungkot kasi may bago ng nakilala si papa. Mayaman na babae pero Pinay. Lumipat kami sa bagong bahay. Mas malaki."

"Is that so?" I sighed. "Are they taking good care of you there?"

"Oo. Uhm, may good news nga pala ako. Tita Louisa enrolled me to a prestigious school here in the U.S. She also enrolled me to a gymnastic and violin classes. Pasukan ko na ulit next week."

"Aw, really? That's good to hear," I said as I stare down at the books and notes infront of me. I'm at the dining table, studying alone. The house was dark. My only source of light is the remaining lightbulb on the dusty ceiling fan above me. It was flickering. Parang mapupundi na iyon. The ambiance felt dull and cold but my body is sweating a little bit.

"Tsaka, maooperahan na rin pala ako."

My lips parted upon hearing her words. "What? Really? But how.."

She chuckled softly. I can hear her getting emotional. "Oo. Nakapag-schedule na kami. Kinakabahan nga ako e."

I bit my lip to hold back my tears. "Oh, thank God. Sorry, I just..can't uhm. Seems like you're it's much more convenient for you to be with dad huh? Is he going to get married again?" my voice echoed across this empty house

Hindi agad siya nakasagot.

"Hmm, I don't know. I still feel sad and lonely sometimes. They seem to get along well with each other. Pakiramdam ko napipilitan lang si Tita Louisa sa'kin. M-mabait naman siya but she can never replace mom," her voice broke

"When will you be back home? Wala ba talaga kayong plano umuwi o kahit bumisita?"

"I still don't know yet Kuya. Dad wanted to pero ayaw naman ni Tita. She wanted us to stay here for good."

My lips parted. "What? For...good?"

"Yun yung palagi nilang madalas pag-awayan. She wants to build a family here. They are already planning for their future. I don't have much say about it. Dad refuses to listen to me anyway. Palaging si Tita Louisa yung nasusunod. Kahit ako, gusto ko na ring umuwi. It must be hard for you now that mom is gone. You're living alone now."

I swallowed hard. "Yeah."

Our lives became total opposites. My sister is living comfortably in the states with dad with his new woman now. Sometimes, I feel glad that she seems much more happy with her new life there even if she's away from me. I thought maybe her life is better than before. Baka mas maganda ang magiging future niya roon. If she stayed with us, I don't think I'll be able to take good care of her when my mom died. Hindi magiging maganda ang buhay niya rito.

Meanwhile, I'm still stuck here in our old house that's only filled with sad and bad memories. Not to mention this is also where mom died. I couldn't bare to live in this house because of that reason but I didn't have a choice. I, on the other hand, is facing a lot of responsibilities. I'm currently on my second year college pursuing medicine in UP. I also have a part time job to make a living. I got bills to pay, school fees, and my parents' debt.

"Ikaw Kuya? Kamusta ka?" she asked after a few seconds of silence. Her voice filled with yearning.

I smiled weakly. "I'm studying for our exams tomorrow," I said as I highlight some paragraphs. My eyes hurt from reading since the lights were low. It's getting hard for me to read in the dark. Pakiramdam ko ay malapit na kong putulan ng kuryente.

"I didn't know that you wanted to be a doctor like mom. Mahirap ba lessons niyo?"

"Yes. It's challenging for me. I promised to her that I'll become a doctor. When I graduate, I want to help the children in the hospital that she used to work before."

"I'm sure mom would be proud of you. I'm proud of you too," she said which made my heart swell

My eyes began to water. I cleared my throat and blink my tears away. "Sige, uh, mag-aaral na si Kuya. Let's talk again tomorrow okay? I hope to see you soon. Tawagan mo agad ako kapag may problema ah?"

"Okay! Study well future Dr. Sanchez," she chuckled. "Bye kuya. Miss you!"

I smiled. "Miss you too. Stay safe and healthy always, bye."

***

"Sabay pala sched ng exams natin Keith," Trisha told me

We're here at the library, studying together for our exam tomorrow. There were also a group of students beside our table.

I sighed. "I wasn't able to study well last night."

"I'm sure your lessons are hard. Hirap kaya ng med. Sakit sa ulo. Ang daming terms na hindi ko maintindihan," she said when she read my notes. "Ang ganda naman ng sulat mo. Nahiya ako."

I chuckled. Bigla akong hinikab.

"Puyat ka rin?"

"Nawalan ng kuryente kagabi. Hindi ako masyadong nakatulog," I said and drank my coffee

"Oh, you can live at the condo with me."

I almost choked on my drink when she said that. I wiped my mouth. "What? You want us to be..roomates?"

She blushed. "I mean, neighbors. We can be neighbors at the condo where I'm staying."

"If only I can afford it. I will. I also can't leave the house easily. It holds so many memories that I'm afraid to let go."

"Hindi ka ba natatakot mag-isa sa bahay niyo? I mean, what if your mom-" she paused and looked away. "Nevermind."

Napailing nalang ako at bumalik sa pag-aaral. I can feel her eyes on me. I looked at her and arched my brow. "What?"

She smiled while staring at my face. "Ang laki na ng eyebags mo."

I chuckled, amused by her statement. "I know, alright. I told you, lagi na akong puyat-"

"Pero ang gwapo mo pa rin," she winked at me

"Mag-aral ka na nga," I said and lightly hit her forehead with my pencil

She pouted and squinted her eyes on me. After a while, she went back to study. There's a lot of pastel highlighters and colorful pens with cute design on surrounding her. May mga iba't ibang kulay din ng sticky notes. Her portfolio was white and pink. It fits on her personality.

"Can I see your plates?"

"Bakit?" she asked while busy writing down notes

"I want to see your works."

"Ayaw."

My brows furrowed. "Why?"

"Pangit mga gawa ko. Ang baba pati ng scores na binigay sa'kin ng prof ko, nakakahiya."

"Sa'kin ka pa nahiya? I don't really care if you think your works is ugly. Besides, it's still your first year. Natural lang na hindi maganda ang una mong gawa. You'll still grow and improve."

She sighed. "Mas magaling ka sa'kin sa arts."

Instead of answering her, I took her portfolio. Before she can even protest, I already opened it and check her works. She slumped back in her seat, arms crossed.

"Hindi pa nga ako um-oo."

I chuckled. "Your works...well, they're not that bad."

"Tsk. Don't pretend just because we're besties. I know it's bad. You can say it, I won't get hurt."

I flipped through the next page which is a drawing of a building. I smiled and showed it to her. "Minadali mo ba ito?"

Her eyes widened in shock. "Well, obvious ba? Cramming ako niyan!"

"I had to take a second look to check if what you drew is actually a building."

"Bakit? Ano bang tingin mo diyan?" she asked, slightly pissed

"Para siyang tindahan," I chuckled. "I honestly don't know how to describe it."

She rolled her eyes and took the portfolio back. "I knew you'd make fun of it. Tama na."

Hinayaan ko nalang siya. She suddenly took my portfolio too. Her jaw dropped when she saw some of my drawings. "Damn Keith. Mas maganda pa drawing mo ng skeletal system."

I smiled shyly. "Thanks."

"Did you really drew this?" she asked, still surprised

"Of course. Our proff asked us too. You thought I just traced it?" I chortled

"Woah. Ang ganda rin ng mga drawings mo sa iba't ibang klase ng bacteria. Kung ako nagdrawing nito, magmumukha lang silang tae ng aso o ng kalabaw." Her expression then turned bitter. "E 'di ikaw na. Sana all nalang." She closed my portfolio and returned it to me

I was about to speak but then my phone suddenly rang inside my bag. I hurriedly took it out before it can disturb too much. I minimized the volume of it. I saw my sister's name on the caller I.D.

I glanced at Trisha. "It's Kate. Sagutin ko lang. Excuse me."

"Oki!"

Tumayo na ako at mabilis na lumabas ng library. I found myself outside our building. There are some students walking by. Dumiretso ako sa ilalim ng puno dahil may lilim doon. I then answered her call.

"Hello, Kate? Napatawag ka. I'm still in class and-"

"K-kuya.."

My brows furrowed when I heard her crying in the background. Her voice was trembling.

"Kate? What's wrong? Why are you crying?"

Humikbi siya. "Kuya, si papa."

I held my phone tightly. "Why? What about dad? Did..something happen?"

For some reason, bigla akong kinabahan sa sinabi niya. My heart also began to raise.

"I-I don't exactly know what happened. Some police just came into our house and arrested him," her voice broke

My lips parted. "W-what?" I said, almost like a whisper

She didn't utter a word but I can hear her soft whimpers on the background. "They took away papa. They took him to p-prison. It all happened fast."

I massaged my forehead while I try my best to calm myself down. "Wait hold on. Where are you right now?"

"I'm here at the house. Inside the bathroom. I don't want to make any noise because I'm scared," she said in between her sobs

"Are you alone? May kasama ka ba sa bahay?"

"Tita Louisa was here a few minutes ago but I think she left. I'm alone now."

I took a deep breath and frustratedly ran my fingers through my hair. "Okay, Kate. I want you to calm down for a second. Let me just.." I paused and cursed underneath my breath. I was pacing back and forth and I ignored the students who kept throwing glances at me

She sniffed. "I don't want to be here anymore Kuya. I-I want to go h-home. Please.."

My heart broke by the sound of her desperate voice. My mind still couldn't process what she just told me. Right now, iniisip ko lang ang kapakanan niya.

I swallowed hard. "Don't worry Kate. Pupuntahan kita diyan. Just wait for me. I'll come for you. Everything will be okay. Calm down," nanginig ang boses ko. It turned out to be in panic too

Pagkatapos naming mag-usap ay binaba ko na ang tawag. I turned around and quickly walked back inside the campus but I stopped when I saw Trisha approaching me. Napahinto rin siya.

"Keith?"

"I have to go," I said and walked passed her

"What? Where are you going? Did something happen?" she worriedly asked and held my wrist

Humarap ulit ako sa kanya. "Pupuntahan ko si Kate."

She stared at me confused. "To the U.S.?"

I nodded. "Yes and I'll book a flight right now or maybe tomorrow. I have to go."

"What? Now? Did...something bad happened to her? Bakit biglaan?"

I sighed. "I'll tell you everything soon Tris. But for now, I'll be leaving," I was about to leave when she spoke again

"But we have exams tomorrow Keith. You can't miss it."

I turned to face her. Punong-pungo ng pag-alala ang itsura niya. "My sister needs me Tris."

Her lips parted. She tried to find the answers in my eyes. Humakbang ako palapit sa kanya. I held her cheek and gave her a small smile. "Pass the exams for me, okay?"

"Keith.."

"I'll get going. I'll be back soon," I said and left her sight

***

I booked a flight tomorrow to the states. Good thing I've saved enough money for it. I only packed a few clothes in my bag with my pocket money. While on the plane, I can't help but to get more worried about my dad, especially my sister. She might be in danger. I began to overthink. Naguguluhan pa rin ako sa sitwasyon ni papa. I didn't have a plan. I knew this was impulsive but I didn't care anymore. Right now, I just want to see her, praying that she's safe.

I looked at the address on my phone that she sent me yesterday then back at the house in front of me. May katabi silang mga bahay pero walang tao sa paligid. There's a lawn on the side. I held my bag tightly and walked up until their doorstep. I knocked three times.

"Kate. I'm already here! Are you there?"

After a few seconds, no one answered. Sinubukan kong sumilip sa bintana pero wala akong nakitang tao. I noticed that the house was a mess! The furnitures were upside down on the floor. I suddenly feel more nervous. I knocked on the door again, this time much louder.

"Is anybody home? Kate?" I yelled. I took my phone out of my pocket and tried to call her but the phone was busy. Kumunot ang noo ko.

I held the knob and to my surprise, it was unlocked. I slowly opened the door and it caused a creek sound. Dahan-dahan akong pumasok sa loob. I roamed my eyes around the room and it was a mess. Parang pinasukan sila ng magnanakaw. My heart began to raise because of the thought. Binalot ng kaba ang buong katawan ko.

"Kate?" I called and I stopped to listen

There wasn't anyone here. It was unusually silent. I began to walk to find my sister. The house was big and there were a lot of rooms. I passed by all of them until I reach the end. I stopped when I saw a light at the bathroom. I slowly walked towards it and my eyes widened in shock when I finally saw my sister. Her back was facing me and my eyes landed at her hand, she was holding a knife near her wrist.

"Kate!" I exclaimed and rushed inside. I held her shoulder and turned her to face me. She startled. There were tears in her eyes. Her lips parted upon seeing me.

"K-kuya?"

I held both of her shoulders tightly. Hindi ko inalis ang paningin sa kanya. My hands were shaking while holding her. "Kate. What are you-" I looked at the knife on her hand. There's a small cut on her wrist, blood trickling down from it. Nanlamig ang buong katawan ko.

She also looked at it and burst into tears. "Kuya.."

With my trembling hands, I tried to get the knife away from her. When I got it, I then immediately tossed it on the floor. It slid on the corner of the bathroom. I swallowed hard and shifted my gaze back to my sister who's still in tears.

"Kate," my lips quivered in fear as I remove the hair from her face

Yumuko siya at humikbi.

"Kate, I'm here," I said and hugged her tightly

She sniffed and cried even more. "I'm sorry.."

"Thank God, you're safe. B-buti nakaabot ako," my voice broke. My vision became blurry and it was not long until I felt the tears escaped from my eyes. I immediately checked her wrist and gently wiped the blood away with my thumb. I hugged her tightly and rest my chin on top of her head.

"Kate why?" my voice turned numb and weak. "Why would you do t-this?"

"I just want to be g-gone. Everything is too much for me. I don't know, I'm s-sorry."

"I'm here now. You're safe. It's fine. I'll take you back home," I said in between my sobs

"Kuya, si papa..paano si papa? He's in jail now. Tita Louisa left me. She left us. I don't k-know what dad did but I believe he's innocent kuya. Please, help him. Dad didn't do anything," she stammered

I closed my eyes as tears roll down my face. "Kate.."

The scene where she tried to kill herself flashed before my eyes. Her words were drowned in my thoughts and all I could hear is our soft whimpers that's echoing in the walls. My knees turned weak, like I'm about to fall on the floor but I gathered my remaining strength to hold on to my sister.

"I want to be with dad again. I'm n-not going home without him. I w-want us to be a family again. Gusto kong bumalik sa dati. I hated myself for leaving you and mom. I hated myself more because I wasn't able to attend mom's funeral. Dad didn't even care anymore. I'm far from happy with my life here. I l-lied. Magulo ang buhay namin dito. I knew Tita Louisa couldn't accept me. Mabait siya sa'kin kapag kaharap si papa pero," she paused. The pain in her voice was evident. "She was abusing me. Deep down, I knew she hated me all along. I tried to be happy but instead, I thought of...ending my life."

"I'm s-sorry.."

She sniffed. "I couldn't help but to blame myself. Pakiramdam ko pabigat lang ako sa inyo. Hindi ako makatulog sa gabi kakaisip sa inyo ni mama. I still couldn't accept that our family broke apart. And that mom...died. I wasn't able to say goodbye to her."

Her words pierced through my heart and I hated myself because I wasn't able to be with her during her tough times. I wasn't able to protect her. It must have been hard for her to endure the pain alone. I couldn't find the right words to say so I remained hugging her, hoping it will ease the pain kahit konti.

She held my shirt tightly. I felt her tears soaked through my shirt. "Please help dad, k-kuya. He's not a bad person. Tulungan mo siyang m-makalaya," she pleaded. "We can't lose him too. I don't want to lose him."

I shut my eyes tightly, already hesitant to say these words to her because in the end, I knew I'd be sorry. "We won't l-lose him. He'll be with us again. I promise, I'll help him get out."