#TPTG_KEITH

My life turned upside down when senior year came..

"What are you doing here Kate?" I asked my sister. Andito kami ngayon sa tapat ng school ko.

She smiled. "I came to visit you and your school! Your school is big Kuya," she said in amazement while looking at the building behind me

I looked over my shoulder and saw the students watching us from a distance. I turned my head back to my sister.

"You should be in school too."

"Oo nga. Papasok na rin ako. Gusto ko lang makita school mo kaya nag-request ako kay papa na bumaba rito. Bakit kasi hindi tayo same ng school?"

I shrugged. "Ask mom."

She pouted. "Gusto ko rin dito mag-aral eh."

"I'll graduate soon from this school anyway. Besides, mas mabuting hindi ka dito nag-aral."

Her brows furrowed. "Bakit naman?"

I chuckled softly and caressed her hair. Narinig nalang namin na may bumusina sa likod. It was dad's car. Napatingin kami roon.

"You better get going or else you'll be late."

She looked up to me and smiled sweetly. I was surprised when she hugged me. "Bye Kuya. See you at home. Love you," she giggled

I smiled and kissed the top of her head. "See you at home."

Kumalas na rin siya sa yakap at tumakbo sa kotse namin. She turned around and waved her hand at me before going inside the car. I waved back too and waited for them to leave before heading my way inside. I stopped momentarily when I saw the students were all outside watching me.

I can't believe they're still here knowing that classes are about to start. But what confuses me the most is the shocked expression on their faces. I find it weird. Napailing nalang ako at naglakad pabalik sa loob. Naramdaman kong sinundan nila ako ng tingin pero hindi ko na sila pinansin.

"Ma'am. Kailan po announcements ng top 10 sa klase?" one of my classmates asked

I was at the back row, silently reading a book, uninterested of their topic.

"Today na class. Are you all excited to hear the results?" our teacher said with a huge smile on her lips

"Yes ma'am!" they replied enthusiastically.

I crossed my legs and turned the page of the book. I'm currently reading one of Paulo Coelho's work, The Alchemist. So far, I'm enjoying it. It's one of his greatest works yet.

"Pst. Keith."

I looked up to my classmate infront of me. My brow shot up. "What?"

"Iaannounce na yung top ten. Hindi ka ba excited? Baka top 1 ka na this time!" she sneered

"No and I already know who's it gonna be, and it's not me," I simply replied and diverted my attention back to my book

"Tsk, sungit talaga," I heard her say in an unpleasant tone. Tumingin na ulit siya sa harap pagkatapos.

"Naku, pustahan tayo guys kung sino top 1. Si Fey 'yan for sure!"

"Tinatanong pa ba 'yan e, obvious naman?"

"Lapag niyo mga pusta niyo ano!"

"No doubt, it's the one and only, Felicity Guevarra."

I couldn't focus on what I was reading since their voices kept on interrupting my inner peace. I shut my eyes and sighed, feeling irritated.

"Okay class. Quiet down. I know everyone is excited pero kung hindi kayo tatahimik ay hindi ko na itutuloy."

They groaned. "Ma'am naman!"

She chortled. "Siguro naman may hula na kayo kung sino ang top 1 and top 2 natin. Hindi ko na patatagalin pa.."

I closed the book that I was reading and looked outside the window instead. It was a sunny afternoon. The sky is filled with clouds and the ray of sunlight hits the window. The leaves of the trees were falling and drifting with the wind. I kind want to open the window to get some fresh air. It's pretty hot here in class. Nagyeyelo nanaman ang aircon namin. I was surprised when a bird landed on the window.

"Ang top 2 natin ay walang iba kundi si..." she began

"Keith!"

"Kai."

"Adrian!"

"Si Sanchez."

"The Great Keith Sanchez."

"Your guess is right! It's none other than Keith!" our adviser said enthusiastically

Then I heard them gave me a round of applause. Tumingin na ako sa harap at pinagmasdan silang lahat. I only gave them a small smile. "Thank you."

"Congrats pre."

"Congratulations Keith! Idol talaga kita."

"Congrats Kai."

I smiled shyly at their compliments. "Thank you."

"And for the top 1, it's none other than, Felicity!" our adviser announced and the whole class cheered wildly. They gave her a round of applause too

"Congrats Fey. Ikaw nanaman ang nag-wagi.

"She's the best!"

"Sure na siya na ang Valedictorian natin!"

They showered her with more compliments and praises than ever before. As expected, my guess was right. She'd be the top 1 again. I checked to see Fey's reaction and she was just chill and composed. I expected more from her reaction. Before, she's always so excited and happy whenever there's an announcement like this. She would even brag about it to me but now, she seems like she's already used to it. Maybe she expected it already that's why she wasn't surprised at all.

While all of our classmates were happy for her, she only gave them a small smile that I think was forced and fake before opening her book and pretended to study. Perhaps a distraction. Hindi naman sila nagtaka sa naging reaksiyon niya. They still congratulated Fey despite no response from her and only giving them cold shoulders.

As soon as the bell rang for lunch, nauna agad siyang tumayo at lumabas ng room. The rest also stood up and frantically went to the cafeteria. When I got out of the room, I saw Fey standing in front of the bulletin board. Nilapitan ko siya. I kept silent and looked at the bulletin board too. Naka-post doon ang top 10 students for this quarter.

"Congrats Fey," I told her

She didn't respond right away. She sighed and smiled weakly. "Thanks. Congrats din."

I glanced at her. "You don't seem quite happy with the results."

"I am.."

"Or perhaps you're not even surprised anymore. I get it," I chuckled

"I am surprised that I earned the top spot instead of you."

My lips parted at her response. Tumingin na ako sa kanya. Her eyes were still fixed at the bulletin board.

"I think you deserve to be top 1."

"Why so?"

"Just because.." she paused. "You worked hard too."

"Didn't you work hard enough?"

She swallowed hard and looked up to me. Her eyes were hollow but I can see there's a hint of sadness and disappointed in it that I don't understand why.

"Nevermind," aniya sabay iwas ng tingin

Binalik ko ang tingin sa harap. I've noticed some colorful post it notes from the students surrounding the bulletin board. May mga nakasulat doon kaya binasa ko.

I want to be an engineer someday.

I want to be an astronaut!

My dream is to become a businessman or maybe a doctor.

When I grow up, I want to be the President of the Philippines.

I can't help but to smile while reading their dreams and about their future professions. They can freely share all of those to the public for the other students to see. Surprisingly, there's this two students who wrote something that caught my attention. Magkatabi sila ng post it notes. One is pink and the other one is blue.

I still have no idea what I want to be when I grow up. I can't help but to feel anxious and pressured by my parents and my friends. I just hope I can find what really is for me soon. I wish to be happy in the future.

- Lia

Naisipan kong pangarap ay maging abogado pero kung hindi pagpapalain, maging isang kriminal nalang.

P.S. H'wag niyo masyado seryosohin kasi hindi ko rin alam balak ko sa buhay XD. Hindi ko rin alam bakit pink yung sticky note ko ;p

- Mark ;)

My brows furrowed, confused yet amused upon reading what were written on their notes. They are two different students but both somehow share the same thought but different approach.

"Graduating na pala tayo. Do you already know what to take up in college?" asked Fey beside me. I looked at her and she's also reading some of the notes.

I chuckled awkwardly. "I, uh...I actually still don't know. Undecided pa ko."

Her brows raised in surprise. "Really? For someone like you?"

"Yeah. I'm still figuring things out what's the best for me. I don't want to rush things too. Her and I are on the same page," I said and pointed at the blue sticky note with the student name Lia

Napatingin siya roon. A small smile formed on her lips. "I see. Well, this guy are on the same page too." She pointed at the pink sticky note beside mine. It was the student named Mark.

I chuckled. "A lawyer huh? It suits you."

"Minus the criminal of course. I don't understand why he wrote this," she said while looking at the sticky note

"Well, lawyers defend some criminals in court. Maybe in the future, you'd defend one two."

"Yeah right," she snickered

Our conversation ended when her friend suddenly approached her. Nagpaalam na siya sa'kin at sabay silang pumunta ng cafeteria. Sumunod na rin ako pagkatapos.

"Keith. Nakita mo na ba yung bagong transferee sa 3rd year? Ang ganda niya tol," said my friend Gerard

"What? No. I haven't heard anything yet about it. I'm also not interested."

He snorted. "Ang daming magaganda sa'tin tapos ni isa wala kang nagugustuhan? Pusong bato ka ata?"

"Why would I even bother?" I said and went back to eating and reading my book. My other friends went beside me too. I sighed and ran my fingers through my hair.

"Sino pala yung babae na kausap kaninang umaga sa tapat ng school?" asked Christopher and took a piece of fry on mine

"My sister," I replied not even surprised when he asked me that

He gasped. "May kapatid ka pala."

"Oo gago, ngayon mo lang nalaman?" si Gerard

"Hindi ko nga rin alam e," said Ethan

"That's because I never mentioned her too you guys."

Mas lalo silang lumapit sa'kin. "If you were to introduced one of us to your sister, who would it be?" Christoper asked with a playful smile on his lips

"Good question pre."

"Oo nga. Sino sa'min. Your sister is pretty by the way. Ang ganda naman ng genes niyo. Pwede bang palahi?" Ethan said that made everyone laughed

I didn't smile nor laugh at their joke. Napailing nalang ako at kumain ulit. Inakbayan naman ako ni Gerard. "Galit agad si boss."

"Stop calling me that," inis kong sabi

It sounded like I'm a leader of a mafia group, a part of a dangerous heist, and a leader of a gang or cult.

He raised his hands in defeat. "Chill. So sino nga sa'min?"

I sighed. They still haven't moved on from that topic. Hindi ba halata sa mukha ko ang sagot?

I looked at Christopher. He's smiling like an idiot while chewing a bubble gum. Gerard, on the other hand, winked at me. And Ethan wiggled his eyebrows while holding his chin. It took me a few seconds before answering.

"No one."

They sighed in frustration and looked at me in disappointment. "Ang corny naman pre."

"Maniwala ako sa'yo. SIno nga sa'min?"

"Wala bang pasado sa'min."

I shook my head. "I don't want to introduce any of you guys to my sister."

They frowned. "Bakit naman?"

"Aray naman Keith."

"Di naman masakit."

I wasn't surprised by their violent reactions. In fact, I find them weird and annoying of how confident and persistent they are.

"I just don't," I said nonchalantly. "Don't even dare man. Besides, my sister is only eight years old so no. You better not think of something inappropriate about her, understand?"

They swallowed hard and nodded. "Y-yes boss."

Isa isa ko silang tinignan. Napaatras sila sa'kin sabay iwas ng tingin.

"Nakakatakot talaga siya tumingin."

"Ang protective masyado."

"Sabi ko sa inyo dun nalang tayo sa 3rd year na transferee."

Napailing nalang ako sa bulungan nila sa tabi at bumalik sa pagbabasa. I wasn't able to focus anymore so I closed the book and decided to finish it at home instead. Tumingin ako sa paligid. As usual, the cafeteria is full packed with students. My eyes landed on the table in front of us where Fey always sits with her friends...but this time, she wasn't there anymore. There are other people who filled the table.

I tried to find Fey and I saw her sitting alone on the far end table isolated from the rest. Tahimik lang siya habang nag-aaral. Her friend, Lou sat beside her holding a tray. She began to eat while talking to Fey but the latter didn't even bother conversing with her. She would only glance at her from time to time but her attention was on the book. I didn't know if she's actually studying or just a way to ignore her friend. Perhaps she's doing it on purpose.

Fey drastically changed in senior year. She no longer hangs out with her rich and popular group of friends. She keeps herself isolated. She's no longer surrounded with many students in one table. Most of the time, I'd see her in the library, alone. Whenever someone tries to talk to her, she'd turn them down. She always seems like she's going through so much in life but never spoke about it to anybody or atleast that's what I have observed. She's like a walking canvass---empty and dull.

I rarely see her smile too. She always has that cold and intimidating aura. The changes in her were quite unexpected. I didn't know what happened to her. But one thing that didn't change is the fact that she's still on the spotlight. People are still talking about her. No matter how hard she tries to run away and distance herself from them, mas lalo lang siyang pag-uusapan. It will always follow her. The spotlight will never go off.

After lunch, I decided to go back to class. I turned to the left and I was surprised to see the hallway filled with abundant amount of students. May pinagkakaguluhan silang estudyante at hindi ko alam kung sino iyon. My problem right now is how am I suppose to get through them to get to my classroom.

"Excuse me," I said as I try to walk pass them. Instead of giving me space, they even pushed themselves to me when they saw me.

"Omg! Hi Keith," bati ng isa

I gave her a small smile. "Hi."

"Shocks. Ang gwapo mo talaga."

"Omg yung crush mo Quinn!"

"Hello Keith!"

"Pwede makipag-friends?"

Ilang sandali ay may humarang sa'kin na isang lalaking estudyante.

"Idol Keith!" he smiled playfully. "Mark nga pala," he introduced and extended his arm for a handshake

My brows furrowed while looking at him, confused. "Uh, sorry but I don't know you," I said and walked passed him

I don't know how to answer them anymore because they were too many. I just want to go back to my room and live in peace. Nilagpasan ko lang sila hanggang sa makarating sa gitna. I sighed in relief and fixed my uniform.

"Kai?"

I stopped when I heard a familiar voice that I haven't heard in a long time. All of a sudden, my heart began to raise. I slowly lifted my eyes and there I saw the girl that I haven't seen in ages. My bestfriend Trisha.

Lumiwanag ang mukha niya nung nagtama ang mata namin. She gasped in surprise as her smile grew wider in delight. My lips parted while looking at her who's standing just five feet away from me. I blinked twice, as I try to sink in that she's actually here in front of me. My surroundings turned blurry at siya lang ang nakikita ko.

"It is you!"

She walked towards me and before I can even react, she jumped tip her toes to hug me, wrapping her hands around my neck. Hindi agad ako nakagalaw. My heart is still beating wildly inside my chest. I was both nervous and surprised at the same time.

I got back to my senses when I heard the students gasped. Rinig ko ang bulungan nila sa likod ko. The others already left since the bell rang. A few remain, watching us from a distance.

I swallowed hard when I realize that someone is still hugging me. "I, uh.."

Kumalas na siya sa yakap ko. "Kai! I missed you. How are you?" she smiled and searched for my eyes.

"T-trisha?"

She chuckled. "Hi! Surprise?"

"W-what. I mean, how-"

She lightly hit my chest. "I know you're surprised. First time kitang nakitang ganyan kagulat," she said and spread her arms. "Aren't you happy to see me?"

I looked at her from head to foot. She's wearing our white and blue uniform. Tumingin ako sa paligid at nakita kong pinanapanood pa rin nila kami. I held Trisha's wrist and pulled her away from them. We turned to the hallway and went to the lockers.

"Hey. Where are we going?"

Tumigil na ako nang makalayo sa mga estudyante. I turned around to face her. She leaned against the locker I moved closer to her and put my left arm behind the lockers, trapping her. Her eyes widened in shock. Our faces were just a few inches from each other.

"What are you doing here Trisha?" I asked while looking straight into her eyes

She pouted. "What happened to Tris?" she asked in dismay when I didn't call her by her nickname

"Tris."

She gulped. "I'm here to see you. Aren't you happy to see me?" she said and caressed my cheek

I flinched by her delicate touch. Then I removed her hand from me. "I just didn't expect to see you here. You transferred?"

She fixed her posture and crossed her arms over her chest. "I know."

"Kailan ka pa nakauwi? I thought you were in the U.S.? Why didn't you inform me you were coming home?"

"Uh, just last week. I wanted to surprise you!" she said enthusiastically

My lips parted.

Her smile returned. "Did you miss me?" she asked and fixed my hair. I feel tensed whenever she touches me or maybe it's been so long since I last saw her

She grew taller but she's still on the level of my chin. She lost weight too. Pinagmasdan ko ang mukha niya. Some of her features got defined. Her hair got shorter---shoulder length. The chubbiness of her cheeks reduced a little bit. She now has a much slimmer face, hooded almond shaped eyes, curly lashes, pink plump lips, a fairer and pinkish complexion, rosy cheeks, and soft arched brows.

"H'wag mo kong masyadong titigan. Natutunaw ako sa titig mo," she said with a soft and delicate voice

Even the tone of her voice changed. She really is a woman now. Although she's only year younger than me, she grew maturely.

I smiled. "I missed you."

She blushed. "You're giving me so much butterflies."

A soft chuckle escape my lips. "What?"

Lumayo na ako sa kanya dahil baka mahalikan ko pa siya. My eyes didn't leave her. I felt incredibly happy and thrilled that she's back.

Eventhough Trisha and I were apart for a long time, we didn't lose connection. Yun nga lang ay bihira lang kaming nakakapag-usap.

After class, we hung out together to catch up.

"Thanks for the treat," I said

She winked at me. "You're welcome. Syempre ililibre na kita 'no. Ang tagal nating hindi nagsama. I missed you so much when I was away. I'm so happy we're together again!" she cheered

I admit, I missed her more than she misses me. I miss her cheerful smile, her laugh, her voice, her bubbly personality, everything about her.

"I'm happy that we finally reunited again. Kamusta ka?" I asked and took a sip from my milkshake

"Eto. Maganda pa rin. Ang laki lang ng ginlow up ko noong nag U.S. ako."

"I can see that. You still look as beautiful and radiant like the first day I met you."

She got flustered. Her cheeks turned red. "Thank you! Ikaw, kamusta?"

"Still the same. Graduating na ko soon."

I've noticed she's just staring at me with a huge smile on her lips. Naghalumbaba siya sa lamesa habang nakikinig sa'kin. "Hmm? Ang gwapo mo Kai. Mas lalo kang gumwapo."

Yumuko ako at palihim na ngumiti. "Stop it Tris."

"I miss hearing you call me Tris."

Inangat ko ulit ang paningin sa kanya. "Eat your ice cream before it melts."

"Titig mo pa lang tunaw na ko e."

I forced myself not to react but it's so hard resist Trisha. She's just too pure and innocent.

She pouted and opened her ice cream cup. "Sabi ko nga kakainin ko na."

I chuckled and ate my ice cream too.

"Don't stare at me. I feel so awkward," she covered her face using her hand

My brows furrowed. "What? Why would you feel awkward? We've been bestfriends for so many years. No need to feel shy."

She pressed her lips and looked at the window instead.

I leaned forward on the table. "I want to see your face. I haven't seen it in a long time."

She suddenly choked on her ice cream. I immediately handed her a glass of water. Agad niya iyong ininom.

"Kai naman e!"

"What?" I asked innocently

She frowned. "You always keep me off guard."

I arched my brow, amused. "You're still weird," I said and removed the ice cream from the corner of her mouth using my thumb. "Dumi mo pa rin kumain."

She swallowed hard and looked away. "Uh, kamusta na rin pala parents mo? How about Kate?"

"They're doing well. My parents still stuck with the same job. Kami lagi ng kapatid ko naiiwan sa bahay. Kate even adopted a pet."

"Aww, how cute!" she exclaimed. "But uh, 'di ba may heart disease siya? Paano yun?"

I licked my lips. "Umm...she has to go through operation pero wala pa kaming sapat na pera ngayon." I chuckled bitterly. "Besides, our parents barely take care of us. Mom is busy with other kids than us, her own children. As for dad, well, he threw our money away. Not literally but...we're just suffering financial problems."

She smiled weakly. "I'm sorry. You can borrow money naman from us if ever you need-"

I shook my head. "It's okay Tris. Thank you," I gave her a small smile

"But you're going to college soon. Anong plano mo? Saan ka magcocollege at ano course mo?"

"Depends. I already took CETS. I'm just waiting for the results. Hopefully, I'll pass. Hindi ko pa alam kung anong kukunin ko. Maybe medicine? Or business, just like my parents. Nonetheless, I think they'd still support me regardless of what course I'll take. I just feel pressured by their expectations."

"I'm sure you'll pass all of your CETS. Hintayin mo ko ah. Gusto ko same school tayo."

I chuckled. "So you'll study college here too?"

She nodded. "I'll stay here for good now. Ayoko naman talaga mag U.S. no'n. Pinilit lang ako ni mama. Ayoko kaya kitang iwan. Ayokong mapalayo sa'yo."

"Why is that?"

"Hmm..kasi," she paused. "Basta ayoko. What's important is that we're together again!"

"You'll be in college too in just two years. Saan ka naman at ano ring kukunin mo? Are you still planning to take up law just like your...father?"

Her lips parted. Her expression turned sad upon mentioning her father. She sighed and bit her lip.

I gulped. "Sorry. I didn't mean to-"

"Nah. It's okay," she forced a smile. Nakatingin lang siya sa lamesa. "Una, gusto ko same tayo ng school. Second, I'm having second thoughts whether to pursue law or not. Para kasing ayoko na. Gusto ko mag-ibang course. Maybe..architecture or arts and design?"

My brows furrowed. "Why? You suddenly lost interest? You used to love the idea of becoming a lawyer someday."

She became uneasy. "Hindi naman sa nawalan ng interes. Na...na-trauma lang ako sa pagkamatay ni papa kaya, natakot ako." She sniffed and looked away when tears began forming in the corner of her eyes

"I'm sorry.."

"Ano ba 'yan, naiiyak nanaman ako," she chuckled and immediately wiped her tears. "Okay na pala ako. I'm good!"

"I'm sure your father will still support you no matter what dream you choose. He'll always guide you."

She slowly nodded. "I know. I know he's watching me from above. Watching over us too."

"Whatever dream you want to pursue, I'll support you as well," I assured her

She smiled. "Me too. I got your back always."

We spent another few minutes talking about each other and Trisha sharing her stories in the U.S. She mostly do the talking since I can't share interesting stuffs about me. She was more entertaining to watch and I can't help but to engage myself throughout our conversation.

She's still the same old Trisha from middle school. Her physical appearance changed a lot but her heart remained the same---pure and kind.

As much as I want to spend more time with her but unfortunately, my sister Kate is waiting for me at home. Wala siyang kasama kaya kailangan ko nang umuwi. Nabitin din si Trisha she understood my situation. Her mom picked us up and she drove me back to my house.

"Kate? I'm home," I said as I remove my shoes

When I got home, I saw my sister on the living room. She looked at me and to my surprise, I saw her crying. She got up from the couch and ran towards me. Bigla niya akong niyakap.

"Kuya.." she sobbed

My brows furrowed. "Why? What's wrong? Why are you crying?" I asked worriedly

Humikbi siya. "K-kuya Kai.."

I held her hands and knelt down in front of her. "Did something happened?"

She sniffed and wiped her nose as tears kept on streaming down her face. "Si Kiwi.."

I immediately wiped her tears away. "Why? What happened to him?"

"He's...he's dead!"

My lips parted. The mention of death made me shiver. Her voice reverberated the room. "What?"

For a second I thought she's just pulling a prank on me but then she burst another batch of tears and hugged me again. "Our Kiwi is dead."

While still in the state of shock, I caressed her back to comfort her. "Where is he? Are you sure he's d-dead?" I couldn't even recognize my own voice anymore

She nodded and hugged me tighter. Pinatahan ko muna siya bago magtanong. I still refuse to believe that our dog is dead. He's still new to us even if it's been two or three years now. He's still a baby.

"Kiwi is sick 'di ba? Daddy and I went to the veterinarian last week to have him check up. They gave him a shot but then today, he suddenly wouldn't wake up. Daddy checked him again and turns out, he's dead.."

I sighed and ran my fingers through my hair. "Is dad home already?"

She nodded. Her eyes were swollen and her nose red. Hirap na rin siyang huminga."Kakauwi lang din. Siya y-yung unang nakaalam."

"Alright. Calm down Kate. Look at me. Just breathe," I inhaled through my nose and exhaled through my mouth. She did the same. I stood up and held her hand. Nakita ko naman na dumaan si papa sa living room at napahinto siya pagkakita sa'min.

"Oh, nakauwi na pala si Kuya e."

We both walked towards him. "Is it true that Kiwi is dead?"

He sighed heavily and nodded. "Yes. Hindi namin alam na lumala na yung sakit niya. Wala naman kasi tayong pera pang-gamot sa kanya. Sa kapatid mo pa nga lang wala rin-" he paused momentarily and gave us a small smile

"Where is he now?"

He showed me a small box. I noticed he was wearing black gloves and a shovel too. "Ililibing ko siya dun sa tabi nating bakanteng lote."

Kate squeezed my hand. Napatingin ako sa kanya. She looked up to me and tears were evident in her eyes. My heart ached even more.

"Can I see him one last time?"

He then handed the box over me. I knelt down and slowly opened the lid. Kate remained on my side, watching me too. Napapikit ako saglit pagkakita sa aso namin. He's in a sideway position. His eyes were closed and her mouth was slightly parted. I can't see him breathing anymore.

"Kiwi..." Kate muttered underneath her soft whimpers

Bumagsak ang balikat ko at sinara na ulit ang box. I stood up and he asked for the box back.

"Can I burry him instead?"

His eyes widened in surprise by my sudden favor. Pabalik balik ang tingin niya sa'min ni Kate.

"Uh, can you do it?"

"Yes pa."

He thought about it for a moment and in the end, he sighed and agreed. "Alright. Here you go." He removed his gloves and handed it to me including the shovel. I took it all from him.

"Can I come too?" Kate held the hem of my shirt

I looked at our dad for approval. Mukhang nagdadalawang isip pa siya.

"Don't worry. I'll watch over her."

He was about to speak but his phone rang. He immediately took it out of his pocket. He glanced at his phone then to us. Tumingin din ako sa phone niya. "Sige. Basta mag-ingat kayo. Bilisan niyo lang at malapit na lumubog ang araw. Baka abutin kayo ng gabi."

"Okay.."

He went to Kate and kissed the top of her head. "Sorry about Kiwi princess."

Kate only sniffed and wiped her tears. Dad looked at us one last time. "Bantayan mo yung kapatid mo," pahabol niya at umalis na sa harapan namin para sagutin ang tawag

Binalingan ko ang kapatid ko. "Let's go Kate."

She held my hand and we both went out to the door. Good thing is that the sun was still out but the sky is slowly turning orange. I assume it's already five in the afternoon. Sabay kaming naglakad sa may bakanteng lote. The ground was a bit muddy and bumpy so I made sure to held her carefully.

"Kuya. Kaya mo pa?" she asked

I stopped momentarily and wiped my sweat. "Yeah." I proceeded to dig the hole and stopped until it's already deep enough for the box to fit in. I was to pick up the box on the ground when my sister stopped me.

"Wait!"

I looked at her, panting. "What?"

She knelt on the box and placed a flower on top of it. Tumayo na siya ulit at tumabi sa gilid. She pressed her lips and looked at me innocently.

I sighed and picked up the box carefully. I then put it in the hole that I dug and fixed the flower on top of it. I grabbed the shovel again and filled it up with soil. Kate is silently watching me on the side.

"Oh, thank God," I said when I was finally finished. I put the shovel on the side and glanced at Kate. Nakatingin lang siya sa libingan ni Kiwi. She then walked towards me and held my arm.

I looked at the tombstone that I made earlier. It's made of wood shaped like a cross.

"I'm sorry about our dog Kiwi, Kate," I told her

She sniffed, holding back her tears. "It still hurts. I still couldn't believe that he's gone now."

"Me too. But he's in a better place now."

I wish I could have taken care of him better. He's a good dog. Saddens me that I didn't even see him grow more. He could have been trained. His sudden death made me realize how important to spend time with our loved ones. Even if he was just a dog, he brought us happiness. He brought happiness in our home. He was our only companion. He was the only one there when our parents were not around. He gave us more memorable and happy memories that I didn't expect.

"I already miss him so much. Even if we've only spend a short amount of time with him, I'll treasure our memories together."

I put my arm on her back and caressed it. She moved closer to me and cried on my shirt.

"I already miss him too."

She cried even more. The sound of it is breaking my heart to pieces. I only comforted her the best I could because I know that it was much harder and painful for her. She loved Kiwi more than I can even imagine. It hurt me when we lost him but it hurt me more seeing her cry.

"I don't want to end up like Kiwi," she muttered

My lips parted by her sudden words. Unti-unti akong napatingin sa kanya. "Kate..why would you say that?" I said carefully

"Because I'm sick too. And...I'm scared. Wala pa akong pang-gamot sa ngayon e."

I swallowed hard and turned her to face me. I looked at her face and she's now in tears. I inhaled deeply, holding back my tears. "Listen to me Kate. H'wag kang mag-isip ng ganyan. You're not going to.." I paused. "Soon, maooperahan ka rin okay? Gagaling ka rin sa sakit mo. I'll make sure of that. And when I graduate, I'll work for us and we'll-"

"Aabot pa ako?"

I smiled weakly. "Of course. You'll live a long and healthy life. Don't worry okay? Be strong. I'll be here. Kuya loves you so much, hmm?"

She wiped her tears and nodded. "Okay. I love you too."

I calmed myself down first before standing up. I picked up the shovel and held Kate's hand. "Let's go gome. Baka abutan na tayo ng gabi."

Later that evening, I couldn't fall asleep because of Kate's words. It bothered me and made me sad. I got out of my bed and went downstairs to drink a glass of water. I didn't know if my mom is already home. Hanggang ngayon ay hindi pa rin ako dinadalaw ng antok. May pasok pa naman ako bukas. I put my glass on the sink and went back upstairs. I decided to check up on Kate's room. When I opened it, I almost had a heartattack when I saw her standing at the door.

"Kate? You scared me! Why are you still awake-"

"I feel sick Kuya," she murmured half-asleep

"What?" I asked and went closer to her. I touched her neck with the palm of my hands and she was burning hot. "Hey. Ang init mo."

"Nilalagnat ata ako," she coughed

"Wait. Okay, hold on," I panicked. "Kukuha lang akong gamot. Ano pang masakit sa'yo?"

"My head and my throat. I went to mommy and daddy's room but they weren't home yet."

"Dad? E kanina nandito na si papa. Where did he go?"

"Hindi ko rin alam. Baka umalis."

He left at this hour? It's almost 2am in the morning. Where would he go?

I sighed in frustration. "Okay. Uh, lie down to your bed first." I held her shoulder and guided her to her bed.

Afterwards, I ran downstairs to get her some medicine and water. I also grabbed a bowl and filled it up with water and mixed a small amount of alcohol. Kumuha din ako ng maliit na towel at umakyat ulit sa taas papunta sa kwarto niya.

"Here. Drink this." I opened the bottle of tempra and poured some on the spoon. She drank it together with the water.

Her face turned sour. "I prefer the strawberry flavor pa rin than the orange one."

I smiled weakly and fixed her hair. Pinahiga ko ulit siya sa kama niya. Kinumutan ko siya ng maayos. I used the thermometer to check her temperature and she's 38.5 degrees. I then soaked the towel on the water and began to wipe her arms. Nakakunot ang noo niya habang nakapikit. I dip the towel again on the water with alcohol and rinsed it well. I folded it into two and put it on top of her forehead.

Binantayan ko siya magdamag. I yawned, feeling tired and sleepy but I tried my best to stay awake. Thankfully, she eventually fall asleep. Tinanggal ko na ang twalya sa noo niya. Kumuha ako ng panibagong twalya at sinapinan siya sa likod. She groaned softly and turned sideways hugging her pillow. I took the bowl and went back downstairs. Pagkababa ko ay narinig ko ang pagbukas ng pinto. Tumambad sa harapan ko si mama. Halos hindi na siya makalakad ng maayos dahil sa pagod. Her eyes widened when she saw me.

"Kai? Bakit gising ka pa? Anong oras na," she said and put her bag down on the table

"Bakit ngayon ka lang ma?"

"Ah eh. Alam mo naman busy lagi sa ospital. Lagi na akong night shift," she noticed the bowl I was holding. "Para saan 'yan?"

"It's for Kate ma. She has a fever."

Her lips parted. I saw how tired her eyes were. Halos hindi niya na iyon madilat ng maayos. Her hair was a mess too. Everytime she comes home, she looks exhausted and stressed from work.

"K-kamusta na siya? Pinainom mo na ng gamot? Kailan pa siya may sakit?" sunod-sunod niyang tanong. Napasapo siya bigla sa noo niya. "Ay nga pala. Nakalimutan ko siyang ibili ng gamot niya. Naku."

Napayuko ako. "Do you always have to work late?"

"Ha? Oo. Kailangan kasi hindi sapat yung sweldo ko kung gano'n. Importante sa'kin na-"

"But what about us? Hindi ba kami importante? Is your job more important than us?"

Her lips slowly parted while looking at me. "W-what? Of course you're important. Ginagawa ko naman lahat ng ito para sa inyo e. Pasensiya na kung wala kong oras para sa pamilya. I hope you understand Keith."

I clenched my jaw, holding back my emotions. "I just feel like you have more time than your job than us. You always choose your work first than us."

"Keith.."

Unti-unti kong inangat ang paningin sa kanya. "How...how can you take care of those children in your work more than us mom, na sarili mong anak?" my voice trembled

Her eyes turned soft. "Keith.." she gulped. "I'm sorry. Hayaan mo sanang makabawi si mama. Sobrang pagod ko ngayon kaya please."

My heart ached but I managed to gave her a nod. "I..I understand. I have to, right? I have too."

I left the stainless bowl on top of the table and walked back upstairs on my way to my room.

I didn't get much sleep so the next day woke up feeling lightheaded and lethargic. While walking on the hallway, I spotted a group of students talking from a distance. I walked passed them but I stopped when I heard their conversation.

"Grabe, hindi pa rin ako makapaniwala sa nangyari kay Fey. Kalat na sa buong campus."

"Ako rin. Bakit naman gagawin sa kanya yun ng sarili niyang pinsan?"

"I don't believe the rumors. Baka gumagawa lang sila ng kwento para siraan siya. Lagi naman siyang may issue e, isama mo na yung pamilya niya."

"Balita ko kinakausap na sila sa office. Weird kasi usually kasama ni Fey yung papa niya pero ngayon ay wala siya."

I turned my head to the girls then to the office on my left side. Bigla ko nalang silang nilapitan. They gasped when they saw me approaching them.

"Omg! Hi Keith!"

"Hello!" she squealed

I only gave them a small smile. "Hi. I, uh..I just want to ask. What are you girls talking about with Fey? Did something happen?"

Nagkatinginan silang tatlo at hindi alam kung sino sa kanila ang magsasalita.

"Ah, eh...rumors lang naman. We heard that Felicity was sexually harassed by her own cousin."

My lips parted upon hearing what she told me. "What?"

"Hindi lang si Fey ang pagkakaalam ko. May iba rin siyang biniktima na ibang estudyante especially sa lower level. The girls are too scared of him. May ilan na hindi na pumapasok."

"Yeah. Hindi namin alam kung lahat totoo o chismis lang," her friend agreed

"Who's her cousin? He goes to this school?"

"Oo. Kaka-transfer niya lang. Hindi niyo ata siya classmate kasi sa kabilang section siya."

"What's his name?"

They looked away and tried to remember his name. "I think his name is Archie? Arnold? I'm not sure e. Basta 'A' nagsisimula."

"Bakit mo naman natanong?" one of them asked

I licked my lips. "Nothing. Thank you," I quickly replied and walked passed them

The bell rang and they already went their way back to the classroom alongside with the other students. Ako nalang ang natira sa hallway. I stared at the floor and thought deeply.

The rumors about her and what her cousin did to her as well as the other students here bothered me. It's none of my business and I shouldn't meddle with their family anymore 'cause I know they won't do me any good. Wala rin akong mapapala.

It's hard for me to believe that her own cousin would actually do that, but if the rumors were true, I'm sure her father will surely help her.

I shook my head to get rid of the thoughts and decided to go to class now but just when I was about to take my first step, the door of the office opened and I saw Fey got out.

My brows slightly furrowed when I noticed how uneasy she was. Nakatingin lang siya sa sahig. Her hands were clenched tightly. She fixed her jacket and began to walk towards my direction.

Muntikan siyang sumigaw noong humarang ako sa dinadaanan niya. She looked up to me and her eyes widened in shock. Her pupils dilated. Bigla siyang napaatras.

"Fey, what's wrong? Are you okay?" I moved closer to her but she took another step back. She couldn't look at me in the eye

She looked away and blinked a couple of times. Her lips were quivering. "I-I'm f-fine."

She slowly lifted her gaze on me. I saw tears in her eyes. They were void of emotions before but now, I saw pain and misery in it that I've never seen before. She swallowed hard and avoided my gaze. Naramdaman ko nalang na nilagpasan niya ako.

I only got back to my senses when the door of the office opened again. Lumabas doon ang dalawang lalaking estudyante. One of them looks suspicious to me. He's tall and has a huge body frame. He has an arrogant and mischievous look on his face. Meanwhile, the other one seems familiar to me. He was shorter and I knew he belongs to the lower batch. He looks like a clumsy, timid, shy boy.

Nilapitan siya ng kasama niya. He patted his shoulder and smirked at him. He then turned to the opposite direction and walked away still wearing the mischeivous smirk on his face. Binalik ko ang tingin sa lalaki sa harapan ko. Nakayuko lang siya at nagsimulang maglakad. I fixed my bag on my shoulder and chased after him.

"Hey." I held his shoulder and turned him to face me. He startled. His eyes widened upon seeing me in front of him.

"Kuya..Keith?" he gulped

I eyed him from head to foot. I noticed he has a cast on his right arm. His round eyes were still wide in shock. I was taller than him, but he's on the same eye level as me. He swallowed hard while staring at me. Beads of sweat began to form on his forehead. He seemed nervous and tensed.

"You seems familiar to me. What's your name?"

"M-mark"

"I see." I looked down on his I.D. "Mark Alonzo. First year student. Are you the same Mark that wanted to be a lawyer?"

He slowly nodded. "Paano mo n-nalaman-"

"Listen to me Mark. I want to know what happened regarding with Fey. Nakita ko siyang lumabas ng office. Ikaw din at may isa ka pang kasama."

"Oo."

"Why? Why are you in the office with her? What happened?"

Umiwas siya bigla ng tingin. "Ano..kasi. Hindi ko alam kung..."

I sighed and calmed myself down first. He must have felt intimidated and nervous at the same time.

I held his shoulder. "Look. I just want to know what happened. Don't worry, I won't tell anyone about this. Walang makakalabas nito sa'tin. H'wag kang matakot."

Until now, his eyes remained on the ground. He looks like a statue in front of me. I don't know when he'll speak up.

"Mark."

"Hindi ko kasalanan."

My brows furrowed. "Pwede mo bang linawin sa'kin?"

He inhaled deeply. "Nag-CR lang ako tapos pagbalik ko papuntang classroom, nakarinig ako ng ingay sa nadaanan kong storage room. Sumilip ako at.." he paused momentarily

"What? What did you see?"

"May nakita akong isang babaeng estudyante. May kasama siyang lalaki na estudyante rin Humihingi siya ng tulong," he stammered

"Was it Fey?"

He nodded. "Hindi ko alam kung sino yung lalaki-"

"What was the guy doing to her?"

He bit his lip as he recall the incident.

I wanted to make sure if it's true. I'm dying to know the truth even if it would hurt me.

"I saw him harassing her," he finally said. "Humingi siya ng tulong noong nakita niya ako sa labas ng pinto pero..u-umalis lang ako."

My lips parted, my throat had gone dry. "You did what?!"

He shut his eyes tightly, as if trying to forget what he saw. "Natakot ako. Hindi ko alam kung anong gagawin sa oras na yun. Kinabukasan ay sinubukan kong pumunta ng office para ireport kaso.."

"What?"

"Natakot din ako sa pamilya nila maslalo na dun sa lalaking nang-harass kay Ate Fey.."

"And then what? Don't tell me you backed away and didn't report it anymore."

He swallowed hard. Hindi niya siya nakasagot.

I sighed exasperatedly. "What the...fuck. You saw what happened yet you chose to keep your mouth shut? Alam mong hindi biro yung nangyari kay Fey."

He slowly looked up to me. "Hindi naman gano'n kadali. Ayoko lang madamay. P-pinangunahan ako ng takot."

"You were with the guy who harassed her. I heard it was her cousin. Is it true?'

"Noong nag-usap na kaming tatlo ko lang nalaman kaya maski ako ay nagulat."

My brows furrowed. "It was just the three of you in the office excluding the principal? Wala yung papa ni Fey na governor?"

He looked at me, confused. "Wala. Akala ko rin ipapatawag kaso hindi. Nagtaka rin aako." Yumuko ulit siya. "Buti nalang kasi baka mas lalong hindi ko kayanin kung magka-usap kami."

I scoffed. "Bakit, sa tingin mo ba may nagawa ka?"

Napatingin siya sa'kin. "P-po?"

"Anong nangyari sa usapan niyo? Fey must have reported to the principal the incident. What did the principal told her? Did she believe her? I mean, she still believed her right?"

He looked away. "Hindi rin.."

My eyes widened in shock. "What? You must be kidding. Why would she not-"

"Hindi ko rin alam. Sabi nung principal imposible raw na gawin iyon ng sariling pinsan ni Ate Fey sa kanya. Hindi niya kinlaro yung issue. Hindi siya naniwala kay Fey. Hindi rin kasi ako..n-nagsalita hanggang sa nagalit nalang si Ate Fey tapos umalis na sa office."

I ran my fingers through my hair, still confused of his story. I don't know if I could trust him but I'll give him the benefit of the doubt since he already admitted his wrongdoings. Hindi niya na sinumbong. He probably denied that he saw the incident. But what I can't seem to believe was the fact that Fey's father, the governor himself, wasn't there. He didn't protect his daughter like what he usually he do. He must be there...but why isn't he?

"Ayoko lang talaga na madamay pa. Ayokong mangielam.." nanginig ang boses niya

"And the result is, the victim is now suffering while the culprit is freely living his life free from his sin," I said coldly

His mouth gaped open while looking at me. His eyes turned soft, filled with regret and guilt. "Sorry.."

"And you're telling me that you wanted to be a lawyer in the future?" I asked and took a step closer to him. I looked at him directly in the eyes. "E, witness pa nga lang, hindi mo na magawa. Gusto mo pang maging abogado? Hmm?"

He swallowed hard and immediately avoided my gaze. "S-sorry."

"H'wag ka sa'kin mag-sorry." I turned my back against him and walked away

During our discussion, I couldn't keep myself focused. I kept on checking Fey behind me. Nakayuko lang siya habang tuwid na nakaupo, halatang hindi mapakali sa upuan niya. She covered her head with her hoodie but through that, I can see her tears slowly streaming down her face. I shut my eyes and sighed. No one else noticed that she's crying but me. The rest was focused on the discussion while the others, may kanya-kanya silang ginagawa.

As soon as the bell rang for dismissal, I immediately stormed out of the room and went straight to the principal's office. I knocked on the door three times before going inside.

"Yes Mr. Sanchez? What can I help you with?" the principal greeted warmly

"I'd like to report something."

Nawala ang ngiti sa labi niya. "Report? What is it?" she asked and gestured me to take a seat. So I did.

"I've heard the news regarding my classmate Felicity. I'd like to testify."

Her brows furrowed, confused. "What do you mean? May kinalaman ka ba sa nangyari sa kanya? Is it about Fey and his cousin?"

I smiled weakly. "I know what happened."

"Pero napag-usapan na namin ang nangyari kaninang umaga. Bakit ngayon ka lang-"

"Because I never thought you wouldn't believe her when she told you the incident with his cousin. Did you honestly think she was lying? Na gumagawa lang siya ng kwento?"

Her lips parted in shock. "Keith. How could you.."

"It's true. Fey told me what happened. His cousin sexually harassed her in the storage room," I simply said and laid back on the chair. "I knew she'd report the incident right away but to my dismay, when she came back, it looks like the issue wasn't properly addressed and settled. You simply refuse to believe her and blatantly dismissed the subject. Bakit? Akala niyo ba mababaw lang yung nangyari sa kanya?"

She was sexually harassed by her own fucking cousin for fuck's sake!

Napakurap-kurap siya. "What? But how is that even possible? Bakit gagawin iyon ng sarili niyang pinsan-"

I shrugged. "I don't know. You should ask him instead."

Umiwas siya ng tingin at nag-isip ng malalim.

I smiled bitterly. "This is why women don't feel safe anymore. Just because it's her cousin doesn't mean he's incapable of doing that. It's not an excuse. People shouldn't tolerate that kind of attitude. People shouldn't take it lightly. It will cause a trauma to the victim. And you, how can you even side with the abuser? You didn't just take the issue lightly but you also invalidated Fey's feelings and hurt her," I firmly said. "Yet all you can think about is 'Why would his own cousin harassed her?' It's like you're subtly victim blaming Fey for what happened."

She shut his eyes, feeling guilty for everything. Kahit na wala ako dito noong nag-usap silang tatlo ay alam ko kung anong pakiramdam ni Fey sa mga oras na 'yon. I've been there too. I know what it feels when someone doesn't want to believe you. When you have no one on your side. It hurts. You'd feel disrespected, neglected, mistreated, and invalidated.

"Felicity's father should know about this too."

She sighed. "I know. I know. Masyado lang akong maraming iniisip at busy din sa mga upcoming activities para dito sa school kaya gano'n pero hindi ibig sabihin no'n na-"

"Why? Hindi ba't importante rin naman yung kapakanan naming mga estudyante na nag-aaral dito? We also pay for the tuition and other miscellaneous fees. We deserve to have a safe and peaceful environment."

"And I hope you understand that it's hard for us to manage all the students here. We are trying our best."

I chuckled bitterly. "Alright. I understand. I hope you don't neglect ordinary students like me unlike before."

She avoided my gaze. "Kung totoo nga ang sinasabi mo ay ipapatawag ko ulit si Archie para kausapin."

My lips twitched, feeling my blood boils upon hearing that guy's name. She called someone on the phone and asked someone to call Archie. Binaba niya na ang tawag at tumingin ulit sa'kin.

I clenched my fist in anger. "He deserves to be punish-," I paused and cleared my throat. "Disciplined."

He deserves more than that to be honest. A week of suspension, kick out of this school, expelled, name it. I don't even know where he came from but students like him should suffer those punishments.

"Don't worry. I'll take care of him. H'wag mo na akong pangunahan," inis niyang sabi. "Thank you Keith for reporting. Makakaalis ka na."

I swallowed hard. Tumayo na ako at dumiretso sa pinto. I held the knobb, hoping that when I leave this place, everything will be settled once and for all. I hope she'd stay true to her words. And most importantly, I hope Fey will receive the justice she deserves.

Pagkalabas ko ay lumiko ako sa hallway. And there I saw the man who was responsible for what happened to Fey. He's walking towards my direction right now. He's also with a teacher. May halong pagtataka ang itsura niya habang kinakausap siya nito. At that moment, I knew they were heading to the office. I fixed my bag on my shoulder and began to walk on the same direction at him. Malapit ko na siyang malagpasan.

Even if I haven't talked personally to him, I already had a bad feeling about him based on my observations. He's the type of student who likes to cause trouble at school. He looks like a bully and a delinquent. He got that smug, naughty, egoistic look plastered in his face and he walks like a fucking superior with no class at all. He's even worse than the governor! I already find him obnoxious and conceited. Purely disgusted by his demeanor. I'd rather have a coffee with Satan than talk to him in school.

Biglang nagtama ang mata namin. He arched his brow when I looked at him. He eyed me from head to foot. Confusion was written all over his face. I smirked and faced front until we walked passed each other.

***

"Fey."

She startled when I called her. We're here at her house for a project that we've been working on together but she was zoning out. Nakatingin lang siya sa libro na binabasa niya. She didn't even spare a glance at me.

"Fey.."

"Hmm?"

We're sitting next to each other here in the dining area at kanina ko pa napapansin na wala siya sa sarili. I bet she still hasn't moved on from the incident that happened to her. I understand. It must have been an traumatic experience for her. I noticed her uneasiness and awkwardness from her.

"Are you...okay?" I asked carefully

She sniffed and fixed her posture. "Yeah. I'm fine. I just...nahihirapan lang ako aralin ito," she glanced at me and I was able to get a glimpse of her eyes---bloodshot and swollen from crying

"Do you need any help?"

She bit her lip and shook her head. "No. Kaya k-ko," she stuttered. She slightly moved her chair away from me

Pinagmasdan ko ang mukha niya. She looks like she's about to broke down into tears any minute but we're still in the middle of our project. She must have felt embarrassed. I know she's not in the mood right now. The incident was bothering her so much. Paulit-ulit siguro iyon na tumatakbo sa isip niya.

"Fey."

She pressed her lips, holding back her tears. Humigpit din ang hawak niya sa libro. Hinanap ko ang mga mata niya.

"Fey. We can continue this some other time if you're not feeling well. I know you're not okay."

"I can't. Malapit na deadline nito. We need to get this d-done."

"We can't finish this at this state," I said. "Look, we still have two more days to submit this project. Let's take a rest first. If we can't get this done, I'll just request to our teacher to extend the deadline. Papayag naman siguro-"

"I still have a lot things to do. Ayokong matambakan. Gusto kong matapos ang lahat ng gawain bago magpahinga."

I sighed. "I know you're trying your best. Kahit ako, gusto ko na ring matapos ito. But we can't force ourselves kung hindi talaga kaya. Give yourself a break. I know you needed it. I'll finish our project instead."

Finally, she looked at me. "But you have a lot on your plate too."

I smiled weakly. "I can manage."

She avoided my gaze and shut her eyes. "I'm sorry..." she sniffed. "I know I should set aside my problem and focus on our project pero walang ibang pumapasok sa utak ko kundi yung...fuck." A tear fell from her eye and as much as I wanted to wipe it away, I restrained myself because that would make her more uneasy. I don't want to startle her.

"I'm sorry.."

"You don't have to feel sorry. I understand Fey."

It always pains me seeing a girl cry and knowing the reason behind her tears hurt me more. She didn't deserve it. I can't even imagine if I were in her shoes. The least thing I could do is to understand her and helped her lessen the burden on her shoulders.

She calmed herself down and stared at her book again. I moved closer to her but she didn't spare me a glance.

"Do you feel uncomfortable?'

Even staring at her side profile, I was able to see through her mask.

She was never the same anymore.

She's broken. Her flawless public facade masked her private despair.

She bit her lip and nodded, suppressing her tears.

"Alright," I whispered. I stood up and moved my things to the side including my chair. I stayed five feet apart away from her. Umupo na ako sa upuan ko. Unti-unti siyang napatingin sa'kin.

I only gave her a small smile. "If you need anything or if you have questions, feel free to ask me."

She swallowed hard. Her eyes turned soft, making her look more vulnerable. "Sorry," she mouthed

Bumalik na ako sa pag-aaral. I, too, couldn't seem to focus but I must finish this project for us. Isa pa ay kailangan ko ring umuwi ng maaga para mabantayan ang kapatid ko. I can't stay for too long.

"Keith."

I turned my head to her. "Hmm?"

"Paano ito? Medyo nalilito ako sa formula," she showed me her book

I took something out behind the pages of my book. I handed her the yellow pad with math formulas written in it.

Her lips parted. "What's this?"

"I know you're having trouble in our lessons in math this quarter so I wrote all the formulas there in case. I also have a copy. Sa'yo na 'yan."

She slowly reached out for the paper. Tinignan niya iyon ng mabuti. "Thank you."

"You're welcome."

We went back to study. I kept checking on her from time to time. She managed to go forward despite everything. She still chose to prioritize her studies eventhough she's not in the best shape to do so. I admired her strength and courage.

She's a fighter.

She's broken but she still choose to fight her battles alone.

When I got home, I saw my sister on the living room watching TV alone. Buti nalang ay magaling na siya sa sakit niya. Lumiwanag ang mukha niya pagkakita sa'kin. She ran towards me and hugged me.

"Kuya. Bakit ngayon ka lang? Saan ka galing?"

"Hmm? May ginawa kasi akong project sa school dun sa bahay ng kaklase ko. Kanina ka pa ba naghihintay?" I caressed her hair

She nodded. "Yeah. I was sad when you're still not home but now I'm happy!" she giggled

My heart ached but I tried my best to smile at her even if I'm tired from school. "I'm sorry. Sorry kung pinaghintay kita ng matagal."

She looked up to me. "It's okay."

"Did you eat?"

"Kaninang hapon lang. Hindi pa ako nagdidinner. Medyo gutom na ako pero gusto kita makasama kumain."

"Alright. Magbibihis lang si Kuya tapos kain na tayo."

"Di pa luto yung food. Walang iniwan si mama."

My lips parted. "What?"

She nodded innocently. I then heard her stomach growled. She only laughed.

"Okay. I'll cook for us then."

Mabilis akong pumunta sa taas para magbihis. Bumaba ako pagkatapos at nagluto ng dinner namin. I didn't expect mom didn't leave us food for dinner. She usually do that. She must be busy again with work and didn't have time. I hurriedly cooked our food since I still have a project to finish. Pinauna ko na ang kapatid ko.

"Kuya. What are you doing?"

"School project."

We're eating at the dining table and my materials were scattered on the table. She's eating while watching me work on my project. Sumubo muna ako bago pinagpatuloy sa paggawa.

"I want to help!" she giggled

I smiled at her. "You don't know how to do this Kate."

She frowned. "Why? Is it hard?"

"Yeah."

"I'm smart too you know."

"Tapos ka na ba sa assignements mo?"

"Yup! As soon as I got home, I already finished it," she said proudly

I messed with her hair. "Good!"

"Now can I help you?"

"I told you. Hindi mo ito alam."

She pouted and stood up. "Fine. I'll just wash our dishes instead."

"What? H'wag na. Ako na. Just leave it there. You go upstairs and sleep. May pasok ka pa bukas."

"Ayaw. I want to help you. Let me, please? After this, I'll go sleep na."

I was about to protest but it's too late since she already took our plates and glass. Hindi na kailangan pang pispisin dahil hotdog at egg lang ang ulam namin. She smiled at me sweetly and went to the kitchen.

"Kaya mo ba?" I yelled from the dining room

"Yes! Don't worry. I'm a big girl na!"

Then I heard the faucet opened and the water coming out of it. I smiled and continued to do my project. Ginabi na ako sa paggawa. I moved to the living room to focus more. I yawned and checked the time. It's already past 11pm. I closed my eyes and stretched my neck. My back ached with every bit of my muscle. Tumayo na ako at niligpit ang gamit. My head automatically turned to the door when I heard it opened. My father entered inside. He was drunk. The stench of the alcohol filled across the room.

Napadilat siya ng maayos pagkakita sa'kin. "Keith? Ikaw ba 'yan?"

Tumayo ako ng maayos. "Yes dad."

He squinted his eyes. Pagewang gewang siya kung maglakad. "Bakit gising ka pa? O baka namamalikmata lang ako.."

"I finished a project." I walked towards him but I stopped when I smelled a woman's perfume all over him

He looked away and massaged his head. He unbuttoned his polo and dropped his coat on the floor. "Ikuha mo nga ako ng isang baso ng tubig."

Without saying a word, I followed his order. I grabbed a glass and filled it with water. Bumalik ako at inabot iyon sa kanya.

"Thanks." He held the glass tightly and drank all of it in one go. He returned the glass to me and I put it on the table

"Saan ka po galing?"

"Ha? Sa trabaho. Pasensiya na kung amoy alak ako anak. Lumayo ka nalang sa'kin. Nagkaroon kasi ng party sa kompanya kaya napainom ako," he forced a smile

"Mm-hmm."

He walked passed me and tapped my shoulder. "Pahinga na ako. Matulog ka na rin pagkatapos. May pasok ka pa."

I turned around and saw him slowly going upstairs. I looked at his coat on the floor. Pinulot ko iyon at naamoy agad ang pabango. It smelled alcohol too. I moved it far from me since the smell was unpleasant for me. Although I find it suspicious, I buried those thoughts away and put his coat on the laundry.

I hope my suspicions were wrong.

***

"Happy Valentines Day Keith."

I stared at Trisha in front of me. She was giving me a letter that I yet to receive. She bit her lip and looked at me innocently, waiting for me to take her hand-made card.

"What's this?" I asked and finally took it

She looked away and rubbed her neck. "I, uh..I'm quite embarrassed to tell you in person so I wrote you a letter instead."

"Tell me what?"

"Tsk. B-basahin mo nalang," she said shyly

I chuckled. "Why do you look so nervous?"

She blushed and turned her back against me. "I don't want to see your reaction. Just tell me your thoughts after reading it."

My brows furrowed, amused by her weird actions. I looked at the card again. It's red and pink. It's surrounded by hearts with different sizes. It has the words 'Happy Valentines' too. I opened it and there was a handwritten message inside.

"Is this a love letter?"

Hindi siya sumagot.

"Did you made this yourself?"

Her head moved into a nod.

I smiled inwardly and began to read her letter.

To my boy bestfriend Kai,

First of all, this isn't a Valentine greeting but a confession. Yes. You read that right. I know this might sound cliche and cheesy but nevermind, I'll say these things to you before it's too late. I just hope you don't hate me after this. Sana friends pa rin tayo. Well, here it goes..

Matagal na akong may crush sayo. Eversince we are just kids, I already fell for you. Remember the first time I approach you where we were in middle school? I saw you eating alone during lunch and I thinktyou were cute kaya hindi ako nagdalawang isip na lapitan ka. Hindi naman kasi ako mahiyain na tao. When I finally had the chance to talk to you, I didn't expect you were masungit, cold, and snob. At first, it was hard for me to get to know you. Mahirap ka kasing kilalanin. Hindi ka madaldal at pala kwento tulad ko pero kahit na ganun ay pinili pa rin kitang makilala.

And because of that, I fell for you even more. I fell hard. Habang tumatagal ay maslalo kitang nakilala. You're actually a very kind and loving friend and a brother in one to me. Even if I annoy you most of the time, you still chose to listen to my random kwentos. And I appreciate that. I became more comfortable around you. I'm always happy when I'm with you. I always have fun spending time with you.Thank you for everything that you did for me. I love you Kai! I hope when you read this letter, I hope nothing change between us.

Your bestfriend,

Tris <3

My lips parted upon reading her letter. It rendered me speechless. Unti-unti akong napangiti pagkabasa. She has a beautiful penmanship although she has a lot of spelling and grammatical mistakes but still, I was moved by her simple yet sweet words.

"Ano? Tapos mo na basahin? Andyan ka pa ba? Baka iniwan mo na ako ah."

I stepped closer to her and tapped her shoulder. Nagulat siya pagkalingon niya ngayong malapit kami sa isa't isa. She suddenly looked away.

"Tapos ko na."

She blushed, avoiding eye contact with me. "So, uhm...what are your thoughts?"

Yumuko ako at tinignan ulit ang letter niya. "I appreciate your letter. Thank you for making me this. Alam ko naman na mahilig ka gumawa nito. Mahilig ka rin sa stationaries. You're good with arts and crafts."

She smiled. "You know everything about me."

"Yes and you're good with words too tho I spotted some mistakes on your spellings and grammar," I teased

She pouted. "Hey!"

I chuckled. "But Tris," my voice turned serious. "I'm..sorry but I only see you as a friend."

Her lips parted, as her smile disappeared. "Hmm?"

I gulped, feeling guilty of what I said. I didn't want to hurt her feelings or give her false hopes. I wanted to be honest with her.

"I only see you as my bestfriend Tris."

"As a friend...lang?"

"And as a sister."

Bumagsak ang balikat niya. She looked away and blinked a couple of times.

I brought my hand to her arm. "Trisha.."

She smiled weakly. "Sorry...akala ko kasi. I mean, okay lang Kai. Sabi ko nga hindi na ako aasa," she chuckled awkwardly

I rubbed my neck. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to...I just want to be honest with you. I hope you're not mad at me."

She finally looked at me and forced a smile. "Why would I be mad? Of course not! I was the one who confessed and...got rejected. It's not your fault Kai."

"Were you...disappointed?"

Yumuko siya. "Hindi naman. Well, alam ko naman na hindi mo ko icucrush back. I know you only see me as a friend but your actions and gestures towards me were so sweet and for a second, I thought maybe there's still a chance. Turns out you're just a really good and kind boy."

I chuckled. "Well, I am a bit different when I'm around you. I feel calm when I'm with you. I'm happy whenever I talk to you. Sa'yo lang ako komportable."

I was surprised when she suddenly hit my chest lightly. I caught her hand. "What was that for?"

Her brows furrowed while looking at me. "Yan yung sinasabi ko. You're just too.."

I smiled and tilted my head. "What?"

She rolled her eyes. "Ugh! Forget it." Binawi niya bigla ang kamay niya sa'kin. She looks like an angry tomato right now. She walked passed me and sat on the swing. Sinundan ko siya at tumabi sa kanya.

"What are you thinking?" I asked when I noticed she's just staring blankly at the grass. "Sorry. Are you still upset that I-"

"No. That's not it."

My brows furrowed. "Then what?"

She sighed and swung her feet on the ground. "Sa totoo lang, natakot akong umamin sa'yo kaya nga inabot ako ng ilang taon para magkaron ng lakas ng loob," she began. "I'm not scared of the idea of rejection. I'm scared that if I confessed my feelings to you, baka masira yung friendship natin. Baka layuan mo ko. Baka iwasan mo ko. At ayokong mangyari yun. Natatakot ako.."

I only stared at her, my heart fluttering by her words. The wind softly blew her hair. And I was able to her beautiful face clearly. Her long lashes, cute nose, rosy cheeks, and pink lips. The calm silence between us felt comfortable.

"I don't want to lose you Keith," she muttered

I took a strand of her hair that was covering her face and placed it behind her ear. Unti-unti siyang napatingin sa'kin. Her deep and gentle dark brown eyes bore unto mine.

"Don't worry Trisha. You won't lose me. I don't want to lose you either," I assured her

Her lips parted in shock. We stared at each other for a moment. Siya ang unang umiwas ng tingin. "So, uhm. Well, this is kinda awkward."

My brows slightly furrowed. Hinanap ko ang mga mata niya. "You feel awkward around me?"

She bit her lip, trying not to smile. "No. Hindi mo ba alam na kinikilig lang ako?"

I chuckled. "Oh, I thought you were.." I rubbed my neck, feeling shy

"You know me Keith. I say what's on my mind and what's-"

"You say what's on your mind and what's on your heart."

Her mouth gaped open, surprised when I repeated her words.

I chuckled and poked her nose. She scrunched it after. "Unlike me, you're so honest and vocal with your feelings and emotions. That's one of the things I like about you."

Ngumuso siya. "Tama ka naman." Tumingin ulit siya sa harap. "Hindi mo naman ako iiwasan 'no?"

I arched my brow, amused by her question. "What? No. Of course not. Why do you think I'd avoid you?"

"Kasi gano'n yung nangyayari sa iba kapag umaamin sila sa crush nila. Ang corny at ang childish ko naman.."

"Well, not me. Is that why you're so worried earlier? Is that what's bothering you?"

She slowly nodded, feeling shy. "Yeah..that's why I got scared alright." her voice raised a little

My lips curved into a smile. "How cute."

She got flustered. Panay ang iwas niya ng tingin sa'kin.

"Look at me Tris."

She slowly lifted her eyes on me.

"Nothing will ever change between us. We've known each other for years now. You're special to me."

"Promise?" she showed me her pinkie finger. I intertwined my pinkie to hers.

"Promise."

She giggled. "Thanks Kai. Kahit na nireject mo ko, crush pa rin kita. Hindi magbabago yun."

"We're still young anyway. Marami ka pang makikilala. Your feelings might change too."

She pursed her lips. "Siguro nga.."

I gently patted her head. "You can be honest with me all the time. Thank you for telling me this. Thanks for communicating." My brows furrowed when I noticed her uneasiness. "Do you feel awkward? I hope not. I hope you don't feel uncomfortable around me."

Unti-unti siyang napangiti at tumingin na sa'kin. "I should be asking you that. And no, I don't. I'm always comfortable when I'm with you. You will always be my favorite person."

"Thank you Tris. I'm not a vocal person like you but I want to say thank you for being with me. You'll always have a special place in my heart."

"To more years of friendship with you.."

We smiled at each other, reminiscing our blissful and memorable moments together. We spent the rest of the day, talking nonstop and laughing at our childhood memories. We didn't feel awkward nor uncomfortable after her confession. Walang nagbago sa pakikitungo namin sa isa't isa. Our hearts got more closer to each other.

I read the last sentence of her letter again before putting it back inside my locker. I put the other letters that some of my schoolmates gave me in Valentines. I didn't expect I'd receive plenty because I don't even know nor talked to them before. I also looked at the keychain that she gave me when we were kids. My lips curved into a small smile while holding it. I used the keychain for my wallet. Dumiretso na ako sa klase pagkatapos.

***

Saturday came, I went to Fey's house again to submit the project to her. I've already finished it last night and she told me she'd just double check it for the final touches. Siya na raw ang bahala sa susunod namin na project.

"Oh, hi Keith! Andito ka na pala. Gagawa ba ulit kayo ng project ni Fey?" sinalubong ako ng mama niya sa living room. She's wearing her sleepwear, a long dress and slippers

I nodded politely. "Ahh opo. Is Fey awake?"

She smiled at me sweetly. "Oo. Wait lang ah, tatawagin ko lang siya."

"Sige po."

Sinundan ko siya ng tingin paakyat ng hagdan papunta sa kwarto ni Fey. I roamed my eyes around the whole mansion. Their family is filthy rich! Parang nakakahiya na umupo sa sala nila. I hold on to our project and while observing the place. I saw some maids passing by. They were even wearing uniforms colors black and white.

Tumingala ako sa malaki nilang family portrait na nakasabit sa pader. Fey was sitting on a chair and her parents were standing behind her. She looked like she belongs to the royal family. They weren't smiling. Fey was wearing make-up that made her features more defined. She got most of it from her mother. As for his father, he looks way more intimidating in person. They look perfect in the picture, but their lives aren't.

"Who's there?"

Napalingon ako noong may tumawag sa'kin. I saw Fey's father, the governor, in the living room. Speaking of the devil. He's wearing a gray suit and tie. His expression remained cold and stern. His deep brooding eyes were void of emotion.

His face relaxed when he saw me. "You seem familiar. Parang nakita na kita."

"Goodafternoon po."

"You're Keith, right?"

I gulped and nodded.

"What are you doing here?"

I looked down on my project. "Fey and I have a group project to work on Sir."

"I see," he said and scanned me from head to foot. "May I have a word with you, Keith."

My lips parted. "What?"

He gave me a small smile. "Follow me." He turned his back against me and walked towards the dining area. At first, I was confused but I had no choice but to follow him. I saw him poured a glass of rum for himself. Pagkatapos ay humarap siya sa'kin.

"I'll get straight to the point. I want you to stay away from my daughter. You're no good for her. You two are becoming too closeb which is not a good idea. I don't think it's necessary for you to come here everyweek for a group project. As much as possible, I don't want you near her."

"I don't think there's nothing wrong for us to be friends. We go to the same school afterall. Don't worry, we're just simply doing school related stuffs. I'm not courting your daughter. Wala naman po akong gusto sa kanya," I said calmly

Like I've said to myself before, I wouldn't want myself to get associated with their family especially with their precious daughter. I feel it's wrong to be near her.

His deep brooding laugh reverberated around the room. It sounded fake to me. He took a sip from his rum, not leaving my eyes. "I would never want an ordinary boy like you for my daughter. You're a bad influence to her. I believe she changed when she started hanging out with you. You became a distraction to her. Tell me, you must have brainwashed her. Anong mga sinasabi mo sa kanya? Hmm?"

My brows furrowed. "I'm not doing anything to Fey. I don't even want to-" I paused. "You're probably being paranoid."

I tried my best to stay calm even if at the back of my head, bad memories with him that I wanted to forget suddenly came back. The anger and hatred that I once felt, resurfaced. I would never forgive him for what he did to me.

He smirked. "I know what you're planning Keith. But just so you know, I know my daughter more than you."

I smiled inwardly. "Really? Fey doesn't even have a social life anymore. I admit, I have noticed her changes but it does not involve me. We rarely interact in school. She always likes to be alone. She suddenly distanced herself from everyone. She built these high walls that none of us can't even reach. She's not the old Fey anymore. Have you, even noticed that? Perhaps not."

He raised his chin and looked at me sharply in the eyes.

"I believe it all started at home. Maybe she's living in such a toxic environment throughout her whole life. As parents, you should be looking out for your child but it seems like you prioritize your people more than your own family. Fey must be feeling lonely, pressured, and depressed to the point that it affected her studies. Perhaps one of the reasons why she changed is because of you.."

"You don't know our family kaya wala kang karapatan pagsalitaan kami ng ganyan. Wala kang alam kung paano namin siya pinalaki. You should know your place. Our family matters are none of your business. Kaya siya nagbago dahil masyado ng masama ang nagiging impluwensiya ng mga tao kagaya mo. Naligaw na siya ng landas."

My brows furrowed, amused. "Why are you blaming me? It sounds like you're depriving her too much from her own rights and freedom. Maybe she feels suffocated. She's still a teenager but her life seems to be controlled by someone else. You're abusing her too much. Hindi ba kayo naawa sa kanya? Kilala niyo ba talaga siya? Do you really care about her? Do you ever talk to her about her problems and give her comfort? Tao lang din si Fey. She might handle her problems well but that doesn't mean she's not hurting."

"You're being too concerned. That's none of your business. Why do you care about her anyway?"

"Those were just based on my observations. She never opened up to me. I wouldn't push her to do so. Why are you so bothered anyway? Are you really worried about her or are just scared that she might...find out something?"

His eyes widened in shock. "What did you just say?"

"Fey may have changed but I think it's her perspective in life that drastically changed. She had a lot of realizations."

I admit, the changes in her made me realize something too. I was surprised that she's actually capable of change. I don't know maybe someone knocked some senses out of her. I hope she's not faking it. I hope she doesn't end up like her father. This time, I hope she's being real.

"Fey is a smart girl afterall. You can't play with her for too long. Hindi siya mananatiling bulag. Sooner or later, she'll also realize some things she failed to see or acknowledge before. Mamumulat din siya sa realidad. Perhaps you are the one who is a bad influence to her. And maybe one day, she'll be better than most of you all."

His face turned into a deep scowl. He placed his glass on the table and walked towards me. He stopped beside me but my eyes were fixed in front. "Watch your words young boy. Baka pagsisihan mo sa huli. Do you still remember the words I told you before? Keep that in mind. Matuto kang lumugar. If I were you, I'd keep my mouth shut," he said near my ear and walked passed me

I slowly clenched my fist, bottling up the rage inside me. I swore to myself that this would be the last time I'll talk to him or anyone in his family.

***

When I got home, I was surprised to see my sister outside our house. She was sitting at the doorstep. Nakahalumbaba siya. Agad ko siyang nilapitan.

"Kate. What are you doing here outside? It's already late."

She sighed and looked up to me. "Mama and papa are fighting again. They're too loud. I don't want to go inside."

My brows furrowed. "What?!"

She slowly nodded.

I looked at the door behind her and went closer to it. Tinapat ko ang tainga ko roon. I heard noises coming from inside. It was my parents voice. They were shouting at each other on the top of their lungs. I couldn't clearly hear their conversation. Nakarinig ako ng malakas na pagbasag ng bote. I held the knob, contemplating whether to enter inside or not. I looked back at my sister who's staring at me innocently.

I sighed and released my grip from the knob. Nilapitan ko siya at umupo sa tabi niya.

"Are they still fighting?"

"They're just arguing. It'll end soon, don't worry," I tried to smile at her

"What are they fighting about?"

"Probably just about money."

Bumaba ang mata niya sa sahig. "Again? But I heard something more than that."

"What do you mean?"

"Nagiging madalas na ang away nila, lumalala rin. Pakiramdam ko parang gusto na nila maghiwalay. Hindi na ba nila love ang isa't isa?"

I swallowed hard and shook my head. "That won't happen, okay? It's normal for married couples to fight. Magkakaayos din sila. I mean, we also fight too. Nagkakabati naman tayo sa dulo."

She smiled weakly. "I also heard papa wanted to take me."

Napakurap-kurap ako sa sinabi niya. "Take you?"

"I don't know what he means but I'm scared. Ayokong masira ang pamilya natin. I love mom and dad so much. What if biglang maghiwalay sila? Paano tayo?" she asked worriedly, her voice sounding weak and vulnerable

My heart ached after hearing her say that. I wrapped my arm over her shoulder. "Stop thinking about that Kate. Everything will be alright. Sigurado ako na bukas ay magkakabati rin sina mama at papa. Hinding-hindi sila maghihiwalay. Just don't think about it too much, hmm? I'm still here. Nothing can break us. Nothing can separate us. I promise."

Kate is still young. She's still clueless of the harsh and cruel reality that we're living in. She's too pure for this world. She always wanted to have a happy family. She's the only reason why we're still whole. She keeps us all together. Kahit na hirap kami sa buhay, she still chooses to be happy. She never fails to put a smile on our faces. She's our source of joy.

As her older brother, I want to protect her at all cost.I don't like seeing her sad. I want to cheer her up when she's down. I want to stay positive like her. I have to be strong for us even if I'm also struggling and losing hope in our family.

With a broken soul, I'd crawl and knock on heaven's door to ask for better days ahead---a better future...for us.