#TPTG_KEITH

"In the light of new pieces of evidence, after careful analysis and consideration, the Office of the Prosecution hereby recommends the dismissal of homicide against Ms. Maria Cecilia Cervantez," the judge announced

Trisha and I were both looking at Fey from our table. Beside her is her mother and Atty. De Guzman. She looked at the judge then back to us, her lips slightly parted in shock. The two people behind were relieved and they celebrated in silence upon hearing the final verdict but Fey seems oblivious. She must still in the state of shock.

You did well, Fey.

You have my respect.

From the start, I knew you'd win.

You will always be the greatest.

I looked at Trisha beside me, with a faint smile on my lips. Her eyes glistened in tears. She clenched her jaw. I secretly put my hand on her back and caressed it a little, to comfort her. She must have felt bad and angry at the same time. I couldn't exactly read her expression. She wouldn't spare a glance at me. Her eyes were fixed in front. I can feel her holding back her emotions.

As soon as the court session ended, some lawyers flocked over Felicity for winning the case. I, on the other hand, left the court with my head held high.

"Keith!"

I stopped when I heard Trisha behind me. I turned around around and faced her. She walked towards me.

"Ano? Gano'n nalang ba yun Keith?" she asked with a hint of sadness and irritation in her voice

I smiled weakly. "It's over Trisha. From the start, Atty. Cervantez deserve to win the case. You know I only did this for you and Kate."

She looked ayaw, feeling guilty. It's like she's trying her best to hide her emotions from me but I can see it in her eyes that she was hurting again because of me.

"You should have stayed at home Tris. Your wound hasn't healed yet. Sabi ko naman sa'yo, ako nang bahala. Why do you have to be so stubborn?" I teased to lighten up the mood

"I told you. I want to be with you in this fight until the end even if I knew, we're going to lose," her voice began to shake

"That's just what it is. I may have lost but I'm so relieved that I didn't lose you. That's what matters to me. Don't feel bad Tris. I'm still here with you. Okay lang ako. Hmm?" I said softly as I search for her eyes

She sighed and met my eyes. "Can we just go home now?"

I smiled. "You go first. I still need to visit someone."

Her lips parted then she gave me a nod. "Okay but uhm, pwede kitang samahan."

I brought my hand on her cheek and caressed it. "No need. I'll be quick. Let's meet at home, okay?"

She gave me a small smile but sadness was still evident in her eyes. "Okay. KIta nalang tayo sa bahay. Ingat Kai."

I nodded. "Of course. I'll get going then." Lumayo na ako sa kanya at tuluyang lumabas ng court.

I turned left and began to walk but then I stopped when I saw Fey just a few feet away from where I'm standing. She was talking to a police officer. Our eyes suddenly met. My brows furrowed while looking at her from afar. I felt even more guilty so I was the first one to look away and continued to walk to my car, wishing that I didn't see her.

But for some reason, I was surprised when I found myself talking to her after the trial in an empty coffee shop nearby.

"Congrats Fey. You've finally built a name for yourself. And I guess this is also where our rivalry finally ends," I said and gave her a small smile.

"And I hope you were happy with your decision. I proved you wrong Keith. I won, fair and square. I hope we never see each other again," she said bitterly. She failed to hide her pain in her voice and eyes.

I knew she wanted to hear my explanation that's we're here. I just didn't expect that she would spare some time to find out the real reason why I accepted the case after everything that I did. I knew from the start that her reaction would be like this. I've never seen her react this way to me. She felt betrayed, hurt, and confused. I must have hurt her real bad than what I expected. I remained calm and passive eventhough deep inside, I was hurting too.

But to be honest, I have realized that the pain was nothing compared to my hardships, journey, and traumatic experiences from my part, especially where my loved one's are involved and how I started to lose them one by one. Perhaps my heart just turned numb.

I can feel her resentment and hatred towards me yet I didn't tell her my reason because at this point, I just simply wanted her to hate me just like before. I was filled with remorse and shame. Even if I'd ask for forgiveness, I knew she would never forgive me. Para saan pa? I've caused her too much pain so I figured, we should just go back to being strangers again.

Perhaps it's better for the both of us...but I'm glad because this is where our rivalry ends. I'll just accept everything that she'd say against me. I deserve it anyway. I don't want us to hurt each other anymore, so one must step back and it would be me.

"Thank you for the coffee," I said and stood up. I was almost near the exit when she suddenly called me. I stopped but I didn't turn around to face her. I was deeply surprised. I have no idea what else she's going to tell me but for some reason, I felt nervous. My heart began to raise.

"I'm sorry..." I heard her say

My gaze slowly lowered down on the floor, confused and surprised upon hearing those two words. That was the least thing I expected she'd say to me.

Why would she suddenly...I'm the one who's suppose to be apologizing. I swallowed hard, feeling more guilty than ever. Wala na akong mukhang ihaharap sa kanya. I lifted my head and walked my way out of the coffee shop.

"I'm sorry pa," I said while looking at my father through the glass that was separating us. He couldn't look at me in the eye.

As time goes by, he became older and weaker. The wrinkles and stubbles in his face grew more evidently. His skin, from fair to tan. I almost couldn't recognize him anymore. It's been a while since I last visited him. Memories of him were slowly fading away.

Upon more realizations, if by any chance that I won the case and the governor fulfilled his deal to me that he'll be able to set my father free just like what he did to his nephew, I hate to admit but I felt like I would felt more guilty if that happens. My guilt would swallow me up whole if my father was set free knowing he committed a crime while Fey's mother, who's innocent would end up in jail. I don't think I'd get to live with that.

He sighed. "Ako dapat ang humingi ng tawad sa'yo anak. Alam ko namang nagkamali ako. I'm sorry. Sana mapatawad mo ko. I'm sorry kung kailangan mong gawin ito. I'm sorry kung pinagdaanan mo ito. You were carrying my burdens for a long time. I'm sorry kung nahirapan ka dahil sa'kin. I'm sorry sa mga ginawa ko sa pamilya natin noon kasi kung hindi dahil sa'kin, hindi ka nandito. Ksalanan ko kung bakit nasira ang pamilya natin. Alam kong hindi mo ito ginusto. May iba kang pangarap at mga plano sa buhay."

I remained silent while listening to him. His voice was filled with regret, pain, and guilt. The same emotions I'm feeling throughout the years. Just like him, I felt trapped in hell of a misery.

He looked at me with tired eyes. "I'm proud of you Keith. Gusto naming sabihin sa'yo 'yan ng mama mo. Sana nasaksihan ko ang paglaki mo, mga naging achievements mo hanggang sa kung ano ka ngayon. Patawad kung wala ako no'n. Patawad kung naging makasarili ako. Pagkatapos ng sakit na dinulot ko sa pamilya natin ay hindi ko inaasahan na magagawa mo pa akong tulungan. Naiintindihan ko kung galit ka pa rin sa'kin at kung hindi mo ako kayang patawarin."

"I was angry at you for leaving us and for taking Kate away. Mom felt depressed so she ended up killing herself. As for me, I was only fifteen at that time. Hindi ko alam kung paano makakabangon no'n dahil sa sunod sunod na trahedya na nangyari. I was thankful I have Trisha because I didn't have to go through that alone. I tried my best dad. I did everything that I could...kahit na masakit."

"Thank you son. You did well. Hayaan mo na ako rito pagbayaran ang mga kasalanan ko. H'wag mong pababayaan si Kate. Take good care of her. Alam kong nasaktan ko rin siya. Pakisabi na rin sa kanya na I'm sorry. Kaya ko rin namang magpaliwanag sa kanya kung bibisitahin niya ako," his voice turned weak. "Mag-iingat kayo lagi ni Kate. Mahal ko kayo.."

Yumuko ako at tumango dahil hindi ko na kayang tumagal na nakatingin sa kanya. "I will dad. I promise to take care of her. I'll get going now."

He didn't speak after. A police entered the room and brought him back inside the cell again. I stayed for a bit longer, thinking about my father's words. I also stood up and left the room with a heavy heart.

I stopped the car when I've arrived at Trisha's mother's house. I removed my seatbelt and took the food I bought for them before getting our of my car. I then began to walk towards the house. Mabibigat ang bawat hakbang ko. My chest feels heavy too. I kept practicing in my head of what will I say to Kate. I was nervous. The look on my dad's face a while ago flashed before my eyes. It felt like a stab in the heart---my heart that wouldn't stop bleeding.

I calmed myself down before knocking on the door. After a few seconds, it opened. Tumambad sa'kin ang mama ni Trisha. Her eyes widened in surprise.

"Keith. Andito ka na pala. Kanina ka pa namin hinihintay," she greeted me with a warm smile on her lips

I smiled back. "Ah eh, pasensiya na po kung natagalan. Binisita ko pa po kasi si papa." She opened the door wide and I went inside. "Nagdala po pala ako ng meryenda."

"Naku, nag-abala ka pa. Thank you ah," she chuckled and took the food from me

"You're welcome po."

"I'll just prepare this. Si Trisha at si Kate ay nasa sala pala."

"Salamat din po pala sa pagbantay sa kapatid ko."

"You're welcome. Napakabait na bata ni Kate. Matalino rin kagaya mo. Masaya siya kasama dito sa bahay. Paminsan minsan ay nagsasabi siya sa'kin ng mga problema niya. Naiintindihan ko kayong dalawa. Don't worry, tanggap namin kayo ni Trisha."

Tipid lang akong ngumiti bilang sagot. Afterwards, she left me and went to the kitchen to prepare the food. I then went to the living room and I immediately saw Kate and Trisha on the sofa. Kate saw me first. Tumigil sila sa pagkwentuhan. Her eyes widened in surprise.

"Kuya!" she greeted enthusiastically and ran towards me

I smiled. "Hi Kate," bati ko at sinalubong ang yakap niya

"You're home na," she giggled

"What were you guys doing?"

"Oh nothing. Just watching kpop videos. Ate said na mabigat daw yung naging kaso niyo sa court at nastress daw siya. She cried too. To cheer her up, we watch videos together!"

"Oh, really?" I said then glanced at Trisha. She stood up and approached us. She went beside me and gave me a small smile.

"I know your jobs are hard. I wonder, what was the case about? I'm curious."

We both looked at Kate by her sudden question. Then Trisha and I exchange looks. My lips parted. I was caught off guard by what she said.

"I think you should tell her," Trisha said near my ear. Her eyes were a bit red. She must have cried like what Kate mentioned.

"What is it?" she asked then gasped. "Makakalaya na ba si papa?" excitement filled her voice

I shifted my gaze back to Kate who's smiling at us. Trisha turned around and patted my shoulders. She gave us space.

At that moment, muli akong nakaramdam. Anger and guilt which festered and grew in my heart. I thought I was ready to tell her everything but turns out I don't think I can. All the emotions I was holding back earlier gushed over me. I took a deep breath and each breath, my heart was aching badly.

"Kuya?"

My vision started to blur. It was not long until I felt a tear escaped my eye. Her brows slightly furrowed, confused. Her lips, slowly they parted. I couldn't utter a word. Biglang nanikip ang dibdib ko. I can feel the lump forming in my throat.

"I'm sorry. Kate, I'm sorry," I whimpered as tears continually fell from my eyes. "Dad...will never be with us anymore. I-I tried my best. God knows how much I fought for us. I'm sorry if I couldn't do...a-anything."

"Kuya.." she said weakly

I shut my eyes and covered my face with my hand. I couldn't hear anything aside from my soft weeping. I suddenly felt her hug me. I cried more on her shoulders.

"Sana mapatawad mo si Kuya.."

She caressed my back. "It's okay Kuya Kai. I'm sorry too, for everything. It must have been hard for you," she sobbed. Her shoulders began to shake. "I'm proud of you."

"I'm sorry if you had to go through this. I'm sorry for putting so much pressure on you. I shouldn't have done that. I was selfish and immature. I forgot that you were hurting too. I know you did your best. Alam kong nahirapan ka at sa mga pinagdaanan mo para sa'tin."

I sniffed. "I wanted to be a better son for mom and dad and a better brother to you. I'm sorry if I wasn't able to fulfill my promise. I'm sorry if I gave you false hopes. I'm sorry for keeping you waiting for so many years. I'm sorry if I couldn't do enough. For not fighting enough. I'm sorry if I'm not enough."

"You're more than enough Kuya. Thank you for everything. Your the best brother ever," she said and hugged me tighter. "It's okay. It's not your fault. I already accepted it. Naiintindihan ko. I'm sorry for pushing you too much. You are enough, always."

I felt relieved upon hearing her words. It helped ease the pain in my heart. I know it would take a long time for me to heal but it's fine for me as long as I have her and Trisha with me. That afterall the pain and heartbreaks, they still remained on my side and accepted me eventhough at some moments, I have hurt them too.

I felt like I didn't deserve them but God knows how much I needed them. I wouldn't make this far. They walked through fire with me. I became the shield that protected them. I found peace and home in them, my light and refuge during my darkest days.

"Hey Keith.."

I was sitting at the bench outside their backyard while admiring their garden when Trisha approached me. I looked at her. She fixed her blue floral dress before sitting beside me. Tumingin din siya sa harapan. It was a bright sunny afternoon. The cold, gentle breeze blew to my skin. Pumikit ako at dinama ang sariwang hangin. It felt good. The heavy burden in my chest was somehow lifted.

I smiled. Binalingan ko si Trisha. She has a worried expression on her face. "Hey..what's wrong?"

Her lips formed into a small smile but it eventually faltered. Her gaze lowered down on the ground. "I'm sorry about Fey."

"It's not your fault Tris. It's my own choice. Please don't blame yourself. I also do get hurt when you're hurting because of me. I know it will take a long time for us to heal but as long as we have each other, we're okay."

She sighed and nodded.

I noticed that she still not look okay so I moved closer to her. Our eyes met. Her cheeks were flushed. The soft wind blew a bit of her hair so I put it behind her ear. I smiled and brought my hand to her cheek, caressing it gently.

"We fought hard but this battle is not ours to win and that's okay. I'm happy that at the end of the day, I still have you guys. That's what matters to me.
I love you and Kate more," I said and kissed her forehead longer, savoring each moment. "Always remember that."

Our eyes met again. She pressed her lips, hiding her smile. "I love your forehead kisses."

I chuckled and pinched her cheeks. I was surprised when she suddenly hugged me. "Thank you Keith."

My brows furrowed then I slowly brought my arms on her back to hug her. "For what?"

"For everything. You will always be my bestfriend. I couldn't ask for more. I love you, sobra," she said sounding a bit emotional. "Don't worry. Tears of joy ito," she chuckled softly afterwards

Napangiti ako sa sinabi niya. I simply kissed her temple as my response. I felt her tears on my shoulder. And with that, I hugged her tighter and comforted her like the way she always do to me.

***

A month later...

"Congratulations Tris for winning another case," I smiled proudly

"Thank you," she smiled back and held her mug. She blew the coffee before taking a sip. Pinanood ko lang siya. She blinked twice. "What?"

"I'm proud of you Trisha," I began. "I also wanted to say thank you. I'm not exactly good with words and expressing my emotions but thank you for everything. For being my friend, for being with me through my worst, for staying with me, for believing in me, and for loving every part of me. There were moments where I doubted and hated myself for not being enough. Moments where I bled and in the verge of giving up. You're one of the reasons why I still chose to fight. Thank you for being with me in times of victories and defeat. I feel like I don't deserve you but God knows how grateful I am to have you in my life."

"Stop making me cry Keith. Fuck," she chuckled then fan herself

"You're not just my bestfriend Tris. You are my family," I continued. My heart hurts so good as I say these words to her

"Are we exchanging our wedding vows right now here at a coffee shop? I didn't prepare a speech, hold on. Paano ko naman papantayan yung sinabi mo? Napressure naman ako bigla. Kinilig din."

I bit my lip, suppressing my smile. "I'm serious about what I said. It came from my heart. I love you with all my heart."

She got flustered, her cheeks turning red. She avoided my gaze and took another sip of her coffee to calm her nerves. "But honestly, I have a lot of things to say to you too. I'm just quite embarrassed. You always catch me me off guard. Baka magsara nalang yung shop pero hindi pa rin ako tapos sabihin yung nararamdaman ko sa'yo. It can go for hours. It is endless, just like my love for you," she shyly said

I chuckled. "You never fail to amuse me with your charms and innocence. Go on, I'd love to hear it. I remember that I still have the letter you gave me when we were fifteen. Your confession."

Her eyes widened by my straightforwardness. She blushed. "Now you're enjoying too much in making me feel embarrassed and uncomfortable."

"I'm not. I thought it was cute."

She looked at me suspiciously then she pouted. "I mean, I can write you a letter again but I'm too embarrassed," she murmured

I arched my brow. "What was that?"

Umayos siya ng upo. "Nothing," she gulped

I took my cup of coffee on the table and took a sip from it while looking at her, waiting for her response.

"Just to keep it simple, short, and honest.." she began. "I just wanted to say that I have no regrets spending almost half of my life with you Kai. We've been through ups and downs. We experienced heartbreaks. We had a tough journey but those things made our friendship stronger," she said, a bit teary-eyed.

You're the most amazing person I know. Thank you for being my big brother and my bestfriend in one. Thank you for always educating me and for taking good care of me. Please don't be too hard on yourself. I'm proud of you Keith. I'm so blessed to have you in my life, that I was able to witness your growth until you became the person that you are today. You're not just my bestfriend Kai. You're an inspiration to me. Your success is my success and your failures are my failures."

My heart fluttered by her beautiful words and listening to her voice, alone.

"Okay enough, masyado nang madrama. I don't want to cry anymore," she chuckled. "Anyway, kamusta na pala si Kate? Thank God her operation went well."

"Makakahinga na ako ng maluwag. She's currently resting. She's already in college now. Ang bilis lang. She wanted to pursue med as well. A veterinarian to be exact," I said. "She said she already misses you."

She pouted. "I miss her too. Masyado na kasi akong busy eh. Babawi nalang ako. By the way, nabanggit niya na pala sa'kin na gusto niyang mag-vet. That would be cool. Bagay sa kanya!"

I smiled in response and drank my coffee.

"How about you? what's your plan after this? Are you serious that you're going to resign?"

I inhaled deeply and looked outside the coffee shop. I saw some people passing by. "Hmm. To be honest, I grew love with my job because of you. Until now, I never thought I'd become a lawyer. I said I wanted to pursue med, pero iba yung tinapos ko," I said jokingly

"You've helped many people too Kai. You are just so passionate and hardworking in whatever you do. Hindi ka lang naman matalino kundi binibigyan mo rin ng puso yung ginagawa mo. I told you before that whatever career you choose, you'd be successful. That's how great you are."

"You're complimenting me too much Tris."

"I would never get tired of it. Deal with it."

Napailing ako at palihim na ngumiti. "My plan is to continue to study med. I'll go back to school and study. After I get my master's degree, I'll work in the children's hospital where my mother used to work. I also want to build a clinic for kids with disabilities. And if there will be an opportunity in abroad, I would like to work there as well." Hindi mawala ang ngiti sa labi ko habang nagkwekwento sa kanya. I couldn't contain my happiness and excitement. "Don't get me wrong, I love law. I love my job...but I don't want to stop there. I still have goals and future plans. Gusto kong tuparin yun lahat."

Her brows raised in surprise. "Wow that's quite a lot. Mukhang hindi mo ata balak magkapamilya."

"I'm still young. That's also part of my future plans."

"Kasama ba ako sa future mo?"

"You are my future Tris. You'll always be part of it."

"Promise?" she placed her elbow on the table and lifted her pinky finger.

"Promise." I then wrapped my pinky to her and sealed it with our thumb. She giggled happily like a kid.

She leaned back on her chair and sighed. "Damn Keith. I've been loyal for you for years. I don't know if I'll ever get to find a man like you. Di bale, wala pa naman sa plano ko mag-asawa. Kung hindi ikaw, hindi nalang."

I bit my lip, supressing a smile. "I thought you already have a boyfriend," I teased

She raised her brow. "Why do you always think that I have a boyfriend? May mga manliligaw ako noon pero di ko naman sinasagot. My friends were even asking me kung boyfriend daw ba kita kasi lagi tayong magkasama kaya napagkakamalan."

"And your answer is?"

"Uhm, well. I told them we're just close. One sided love este--binabantayan mo rin kasi ako e. You're overprotective," she said bitterly

I smirked. "Well, as your older brother too, I must."

She rolled her eyes. "You sound like my dad again."

"Do I look that old?"

"Nope. Gwapo ka pa rin hanggang ngayon. Gwapo ka pa rin kahit senior ka na," she teased

I placed my hand on my chin. "I wonder if you still have a crush on me by that time."

Her lips parted. "Hindi na 'no. Nag-momove on na nga yung tao e."

I pouted and placed my hand on chest as a sign of pain. "Ouch! That hurt."

Naningkit ang mata niya pero halatang pinipigilang ngumiti. "That's not gonna work on me anymore Kai."

I chuckled. "I'm kidding. You just look cute when I tease you but when you're in the court, you turn into a different person. Sometimes, I do get intimidated."

She raised her brow. "Meanwhile, you look the same inside and outside the court. You look serious and scary."

I pursed my lips. "Not when it comes to you tho."

She tried to remain a blank expression but then I noticed her cheeks were turning red.

"Let's go. I'll treat you ice cream. Sounds good?" I asked and stood up

Napakurap-kurap siya habang nakatingin sa'kin. "Ha? Ah, okay! I'd love some ice cream," she chuckled awkwardly. Tumayo na rin siya pagkatapos. She almost tripped on her heel but I was quick enough to catch her wrist.

"Careful. You're always clumsy. Tsk, tsk."

"Sorry na," sabi niya at agad na inayos ang sarili. I placed my arm behind her back as we both went out of the coffee shop.

***

"Keith Adrian I. Sanchez. Bachelor of Science in Speech language pathology. Cum Laude."

When the speaker announced my name, I stood up proudly and walked my way up to the stage. The school admin and the principal greeted mem with a warm smile on their lips. I shook hands with them and politely received the diploma they gave me. I stepped to the center and faced the audience. I smiled at the camera. I heard the loud applause of my fellow students.

My smile grew wider when I saw Trisha, her mother, and Kate in the audience. They stood up and waved at me with a proud smile in their faces. They also took a picture of me. Trisha even went to the center to take a better shot. Then she called me, telling me to look at the camera. I shook my head in embarrassment. I held my diploma in front of me and smiled again. She giggled and gave me a thumbs up before quickly returning back to her seat. Afterwards, I walked down on stage and returned to my seat too.

"Congratulations Keith!"

"Ang galing mo talaga. Ang dami mong awards. Above all, Cum Laude pa!"

My heart warmed upon receiving many greetings from my friends and classmates.

I smiled shyly. "Thank you! Congrats din sa inyo."

We then took some pictures together. Then we went to our families. Trisha, Tita Therese, and Kate approached me.

"Congrats Kuya!" Kate said

I gave her a small smile. "Thanks little sis."

"Congratulations Keith! We're very proud of you," Tita said with a smile on her lips

"Thank you po."

"Congrats Kai. Iba ka talaga! Doctor na, lawyer pa," Trisha teased then she gave me a warm hug. I hugged her back.

I chuckled. "Thank you Tris. I'm still not a doctor yet but soon!"

She then pinched my cheeks. "Fighting!"

Napailing ako at palihim na ngumiti. I looked at her outfit. She's wearing a white sleeveless loose top, a pink highwaisted loose trousers that's tie into a ribbon, partnered with a pair of white heels and an LV bag. She has some accessories on as well.

"Graduation gift ko pala," she said and handed me a white paper bag

My brows raised, surprised. Tinanggap ko iyon. "Aw, thanks Tris. You didn't have to but-"

"Syempre 'no! Dalawang beses ka kaya gumraduate. You deserve a special gift."

"Thank you so much."

"Picture tayo dali!" she said full of excitement. She immediately took out her phone and we tpp a group photo.

Afterwards, isa isa rin silang nagpapicture sa'kin. Trisha came last. She stood beside me and placed her arm over my shoulder. She then smiled widely at the camera while doing a finger heart. I smiled while looking at her. She has the most beautiful eye-smile ever.

I then simply wrapped my arms around her waist and faced the camera too. We took many pictures together. She did a couple of poses. One was she took my graduation cap then wore it. The sweetest when she hugged my body and I placed my hand on top of her head.

"Okay, that's enough photos Tris. We should go now or else we'll be late for our lunch reservation," I told her

"Gutom na rin ako!" Kate said

I looked at Trisha who's smiling while looking through our photos. "I'm excited to post these. Ang cute natin! Mainggit sila hmmp."

Nauna na siyang maglakad pagkatapos. We then followed right behind her. She was still busy with her phone so I sneaked behind her. "Can I see the photos?" I said near her ear. I instantly smelled her lavander scent. Napalingon siya sa'kin. Our lips almost touched. Her eyes widened in surprise by the small distance of our faces.

I shifted my gaze back to her phone. She was on instagram, typing a caption in our photo together. I couldn't help but to smile. Ramdam kong nakatingin pa rin siya sa'kin.

"Kai. Don't read!" she said and immediately moved away from me. She suddenly became awkward. Her cheeks turned red. "Damn it, nakalimutan ko na tuloy yung sasabihin ko. Tsk. Doon ka nga muna."

I chuckled. "Alright. Sorry."

We've been friends for years now yet I still can't believe that I still have this effect on her. Probably why I can't seem to hold myself back when it comes to her. I always feel attached to her. There's was never a dull moment with her. She brought out the best in me. Trisha will always have a special place in my heart.

***

After college, I was able to ace the National Medical Admission Test. I also applied to UP Medical school.

"Kuya Keith!"

I turned around and saw a familiar man approaching me. He was wearing a formal uniform. It was Mark, I finally remembered.

"Congratulations for passing the NMAT with an average of 94! Galing mo talaga," he smiled and patted my back. "Pahingi naman ng konting talino. You just survived law school now you're planning to go to med school? Baka dumiretso ka na papuntang langit---joke lang!"

I looked at him from head to foot. "But look who's still in law school," I stated as a matter of fact

His jaw dropped. Natamaan siya sa sinabi ko. "Grabe ka naman pre!" he clutched his chest, acting hurt. "H'wag mo nang ipamukha sa'kin na bobo ako. Matalino naman ang nung highschool eh. H'wag ka na maingay," he whispered then fixed his tie. "Tsaka malapit na ako magbar exam."

I smiled. "I'm just kidding. Goodluck sa bar exam. Sana makapasa ka. This is what you've been waiting for right?"

"Ano ba kasi sikreto mo? Pa-share naman diyan. Send notes sa bar exam. Help a friend out," he wiggled his brows and tapped my back

"I already forgot the contents in the bar exam since I took it a long time ago. You can review in the internet from last year's bar exam."

"Mahirap ba? Kinakabahan nga ako e. Baka hindi ako makapasa."

"There's no backing out now once you commit yourself in law."

"Sa relasyon nga hirap akong magcommit e."

I chuckled and patted his back. "I know it's extremely difficult to survive law school but I know you can do it. Trust me, it will be worth it. All your sacrifices, sleepless nights, and hardwork. I'd be the first one to congratulate you kapag nakapasa ka at maslalo kapag naging lawyer ka na."

"Paano pag hindi?"

"I'd beat your ass," I said and his eyes widened at my response. "I'm joking. I know you'll pass. Ginusto mo ito e, panindigan mo. You want to be a lawyer right? Or a criminal?" I teased

"Kung hindi pagpapalain..."

Mahina ko siyang binatukan. He smiled sheepishly and held the back of his neck. "Joke lang syempre oo!"

"Then work hard. Be confident. Trust yourself. Magtiwala ka na makakapasa ka. You're almost there. I'm rooting for you. I'll wait until you become a successful lawyer, okay?"

His lips parted. His eyes were burning with passion and determination. He flashed a smile and nodded. "I somehow feel pressured yet motivated at the same time. Thanks Kuya Keith."

"You won't grow if you don't feel the pressure," I said. "Pressure is good."

"I'll do my best!"

I simply nodded. "By the way, drop the Kuya. It makes me feel uncomfortable and old."

"You're four years older than me pero sige, gusto ko yun. Di hamak na mukhang mas bata at mas gwapo ka pa sa'kin. We're friends right? It's okay to call you just Keith," he said then put his hand on his chin. "But hmm, how should I address you now? Atty. Sanchez or Dr. Sanchez?"

"Whatever you prefer," I said and tapped his shoulder. "I'll go to my next class now. See you again, Mark. Goodluck! I'm rooting for you."

"You finally remembered! Yes!" he punched his fist in the air

Napailing nalang ako at nilagpasan na siya.

"Keith! Patulong pa rin. PM is the key!" pahabol niya

***

After class, when I got home I was surprised to see my sister together with her friends having a group study in the living room.

"Oh, hi Kuya!" Kate greeted upon my arrival

"Omg! Hi Kuya Keith," her friends greeted me too

I smiled at them. "Hello. Are you guys studying?"

"90% daldalan at 10% kwentuhan," one of them answered. Nagtawanan naman sila. I chuckled and walked my way to them.

"Kanina pa ba kayo? Have you guys eaten?"

They exchange looks. Nagkahiyaan pa sila kung sino ang sasagot.

"Hindi pa kami nagmemeryenda. Magluluto palang ng pancit canton," said Kate

"I'll just order you guys food. Is that okay with you?"

"Hala. Nakakahiya naman kuya."

"Okay lang din."

"Uh, sige.."

I smiled. "Good." I then took my phone out and ordered them food in grab.

"May kasalanan pala kuya si Kate sa inyo."

Napatingin ako sa nagsalita. "Hmm?"

Kate's eyes widened in shock. "Hoy. Apaka mo talaga Francis."

I arched my brow. "What is it Kate?"

Bigla siyang tumayo at hinila ako palayo sa kanila. We went inside my room and went to the area where all my awards and trophies where displayed.

"Ah, eh...please don't get mad at me Kuya," her voice turned soft. I noticed she was nervous and panicking. Nakayuko lang siya.

My brows furrowed. "Why?"

She played with her fingers. "I accidentally dropped one of your trophies on top of the shelf."

"You went inside my room?"

"I borrowed your laptop charger 'cause mine was broken. Nung hinahanap ko, bigla kong nabangga. Eto yung trophy," she turned around and showed me the broken trophy on the table.

I walked passed her to check it.

"I'm sorry. Hindi ko sinasadya. Do you think na maayos pa 'yan?"

"I don't think so."

She gasped. "Sorry talaga. Are you mad?"

I turned around to face her. "It's okay Kate. It's an old trophy anyway, from ten years ago. I'm not mad."

Her lips parted. "Really?"

I nodded and gave her a small smile. "Really."

She wiped her sweat and sighed in relief. "Buti nalang. I was so nervous to tell you. I thought you'd be mad," she chuckled. "Ang dami mo kasing awards sa shelf mo e, halos hindi na nga sila magkasya lahat."

Binalik ko ang tingin sa shelf. All of my awards and trophies were all perfectly arranged in the shelves. Some of my medals were hanging on the wall. They couldn't fit in their anymore. My highschool and college graduation frames were there as well too.

"You're right. I should probably remove some of them." I turned to face her again. "Sige na. Bumalik ka na doon."

She nodded. "Okay. Thanks for not scolding me," she giggled and immediately went out of my room

I then began to work on my shelf. I removed some awards that were from years ago. I put them inside my cabinet instead. I also wiped the shelf and neatly placed my new awards in a new arrangement. Pagkatapos ay pinagmasdan ko sila.

It gave me a nostalgic feeling, looking back at all my accomplishments throughout the years. There's a sense of fulfillement. I feel happy and proud of myself but at the same time, there's a hollow space in my heart. I knew there was something missing. I couldn't be fully happy because a part of me wished that my parents witnessed all of these. I wished they're here with me.

***

The next day, Kate and I visited our mother's grave in the Memorial Park.

"I miss mom Kuya," she said

"Me too."

It was a bright sunny morning and the breeze was humid. Nakatingin lang kami sa lapida kung saan nakaukit ang pangalan niya at petsa ng kamatayan niya. The wind blew and some dry leaves from the tree fell to her tombstone. The flowers we brought for her was placed on the side.

The tragic incident was still fresh on my mind. Everything came back to me like a wave that drowned my heart in sorrow and grief. I couldn't help but to feel emotional looking at her. The scene repeated in my head. The guilt is still inside me.

"I can't imagine how you felt that day when she died. I feel bad and guilty too," she said

I placed my arm on her shoulder. "It's not your fault Kate. I just wish I could have protected her."

"I'm sorry Kuya."

I simply caressed her back to comfort her.

"Ang dami ko pang gustong sabihin sa kanya na hindi ko nasabi noon. I want to apologize to her too," she sniffed. "Naiinis ako dahil ang aga niyang kinuha sa'tin. I left her but I never thought she'd left us too, for good. If only I stayed. If only I convinced dad to stay pero wala akong nagawa. I want to tell her how much I love her."

I sighed and stared at the ground.

Regret.

I've always hated that word. It was the worst part in me. I don't like having regrets in the end so I always take risk and fight kaysa sa wala. Kaysa sa hindi ako sumubok. There's no harm in trying. Even if I lose, if I bleed, if I fall down, if it's futile, I'd take it. I'd take the chance. It fucking hurts me to the core. I began to question God. At first, I didn't understand why I was being punished. Why am I suffering to much. That at the end of the line, I'd meet nothing. No happy ending, no good results, just vast of emptiness.

Perhaps it's true that there are things not worth fighting for. Maybe He has a better plan. Maybe I just failed to acknowledge the good things in my life 'cause I was drowned with my guilt. I was trapped in my own misery. In darkness, I saw a glimpse of light.

And maybe..just maybe that light will serve as my guide to lead me somewhere better.

I smiled weakly while looking at my mom. She's been my guardian angel.

Are you proud of me mom? I hope so.

"I'm sure mom is proud of you Kuya."

I looked at Kate beside me. There's a small smile on her lips. "I'm proud of you too."

My lips parted as tears began to form in the corner of my eyes. I shifted my gaze back to mom. "Thanks Kate."

Before my tears fall, I felt her held my hand. "Let's go Kuya Kai."

I nodded. We looked at mom one last time before walking our way back to the car. While on the road, I couldn't help but to ask her this question.

"Kate."

"Yes?"

"Were you...bullied because of what happened to dad?"

Bigla siyang napayuko. I noticed her uneasiness which made me feel bad at my question. I just asked because I care about her.

"I guess noon, when I was in highschool. Some of my friends and classmates avoided me. They talk ill about my dad and I always defend him. At that time, I still don't know the whole story. I've always believed that dad is innocent. I couldn't live with it. I'm sorry kung hanggang ngayon ay hindi ko pa rin matanggap. I will, eventually."

I got hurt upon hearing her words. Naiintindihan ko siya dahil naranasan ko rin yun. I don't only receive praises by everyone but judgements too. We both need time to heal too. For now, I promise that I'll always be on her side. I know that as we got older, it was hard for us to open up unlike when we were kids but that doesn't mean I won't reach out to her.

"How about now? Does some of them know?"

"I just don't talk about to them. Whenever they ask me, I don't give them an answer. It's better than before."

"I hope you don't feel shy to tell me about what you feel Kate. It's just the two of us again."

My heart ached at the thought. I've always remained strong for her eversince. The burden and heavy responsibility will always be here. I thought maybe I'm not enough for her.

"It's really just the two of us," she said, pain was evident in her voice. She looked outside the window instead, hiding her tears

"Do you want to visit him?"

Hindi agad siya nakasagot.

"Maybe some other time. I'm not ready yet."

"Okay.."

***

"Do you really have to go Tris?" I asked her when we've arrived at the airport. Hinatid ko sila ni Tita Therese dito.

"I told you. Sasamahan ko si mama sa U.S. kasi may kailangan siyang asikasuhin doon ulit. We will also take a vacation. I didn't want to come at first but I knew I needed to unwind after all the work," she said and lifted her sunglasses up

She's wearing a black one sided top partnered with cream highwaisted trousers and adidad sneakers. Her hair was in a messy bun.

"When are you coming back?"

She shrugged. "I don't know about mom. Maybe a month or two?"

"A month? That's too long," I sighed

She chuckled. "Ayaw mo ba akong umalis?"

I pressed my lips and slowly shook my head.

"You're acting like a kid Kai. Sarap mong kurutin sa singit."

She then pinched me on the cheek. Her eyes disappeared from smiling. I couldn't seem to smile knowing that she's leaving again.

"Don't worry. I'll be back home soon. Alam kong mamimiss mo ko. Besides, it's not like this is the first time I left. Remember when we were kids, pumunta din ako ng U.S. 'di ba? I stayed there for almost two years! Mas matagal pa. You didn't even miss me that much," she pouted. "Tuwing kinakamusta kita e, ang bagal mo magreply. I understand 'cause you're always busy in school. How much more now? Mas busy ka na ngayon. You wouldn't even notice that I left. Magugulat ka nalang na nakabalik na ulit ako. You're already a doctorney. Get it? Walang word na gano'n pero bakit ba?" she laughed at her own joke. I know she's just trying to lighten up the mood

"Biglaan nanaman kasi ulit."

"Blame mom. Biglaan niya rin sinabi sa'kin. Kung gusto mo, sunod ka sa'min doon," she jokingly said. "Just kidding! Walang maiiwan kay Kate."

I sighed. "I miss you already."

She was about to speak but then her mom called her, telling her that they're almost leaving. She stood up and held their luggage. Binalik ko ang tingin kay Trisha.

"Well, I guess I have to go now."

I went closer to her and hugged her. She chuckled and hugged me back. "I'll miss you Kai. Babalik din ako. H'wag na tayo magdrama dito jusko."

I smiled and buried my head on her neck, embracing her warmth and comfort that she always give me. "I'll miss you too, so much. Let's call each other always."

"Malamang hindi ka sasagot."

"I will."

"Who knows 'di ba? Maybe I'll meet someone there. Maramin foreigners at pag-uwi ko may jowa na ako. Hindi mo na ako mababantayan, kala mo ah."

My brows furrowed. Humiwalay ako sa yakap. "Hmm. I don't like that idea."

Her lips parted.

"I'm kidding," I chortled and hugged her again. "Mag-iingat ka doon, kayo ni tita. I'll wait for you to come back, just you, no boys." Then I felt her pinched my side. I bit my lip, hiding my smile.

Kumalas na ulit kami sa yakap. I stared at her face one last time, admiring and memorizing every part of it. Eventhough she has make-up on, I still prefer her beautiful bare face. I held her cheek and kissed her forehead. She smiled at my gesture.

"Hanggang noo nalang talaga e," she murmured then avoided my gaze. Her cheeks turned red.

"I don't want to ruin your make-up."

Then her mom called her again. Nagpaalam na ulit siya sa'kin.

"Goodbye Tris. Have a safe flight. Enjoy your vacation," I told her then looked at Tita Therese. "Ingat din po Tita."

She smiled sweetly. "Thank you Keith. Sige, mauuna na kami. Ingat din kayo ni Kate."

Trisha waved her hand at me with a huge smile on her lips. "Bye Kai! See you soon."

I waved my hand too. Sabay silang tumalikod ng mama niya. Pinanood ko sila papalayo hanggang sa tuluyan na silang mawala sa paningin ko.

Fuck. How can I miss her already? I guess I grew dependent over Trisha and now that she's gone, parang may kulang sa'kin. I must be going crazy..

***

Weeks have passed and I decided to visit the Children's hospital where mom used to work.

"Oh my! Keith. Bumisita ka ulit," Doktora Michelle greeted me. Her eyes widened in surprise

I smiled then stepped inside. "Goodmorning po."

"Oh right, Dr. Sanchez na pala ang dapat kong itawag sa'yo."

I felt shy at the same time it felt good hearing it from her, a fellow doctor. "Nagdala po ako ng almusal para sa mga bata at sa inyo na rin po."

"Naku, salamat! Nag-abala ka pa talaga. Sigurado akong magugustuhan ito ng mga bata. Gusto na nga rin nila ikaw makita," her voice filled with excitement

My smile grew wider. "I'd love to see them again."

All of a sudden, I heard footsteps and noises from a child's voice approaching us. I looked behind her and saw the kids. Lumiwanag ang mukha ko pagkakita sa kanila. Gano'n din sila.

"Kuya Keith!" they said in unison. Some ran towards me while the others were trying to get near me with their wheelchair

Lumuhod ako at sinalubong sila. "Hey guys. I missed you," I smiled and hugged them. Pinalibutan nila ako at niyakap din.

"You're here again! Yay! Thank you for visiting us," one them said. I looked at each and everyone of them. Their eyes sparkled in joy. My heart warmed.

"I'm happy that I'm able to visit you again. Did you miss Kuya?"

They all nodded except for some who can't hear me so I immediately used sign language. Maslalo silang umingay.

"We miss you din!"

I gently patted their heads. I felt someone tugged my shirt. It was Cindy who can't speak and hear. She wanted to talk to me. I smiled and carried her. I then used sign language to communicate with her.

"How are you Cindy?"

She smiled, showing her teeth. "I'm doing good. I'm happy to see you. Thank you."

"I'm happy to see all of you too."

The kids who are deaf and mute immediately responded by using sign language too. We were all able to communicate well since they all know how to use it. We couldn't help but to enjoy our way of communication. We were having fun. Everyone felt one.

I put down Cindy and went to the kids who were in a wheelchair. I also talked to Bryan who has autism. Michael who has down syndrome. And Georga who has Celebral Palsy. The other kids were watching me behind me. Sabay sabay nila akong kinakausap at nahirapan akong sagutin sila isa isa.

"Kuya. Lawyer po ba kayo o doctor? Nakalimutan ko po yung sinabi niyo sa'min," Tristan asked

"Both kasi Tristan. Lawyer siya at doctor in one! Ang galing ni Kuya Keith."

"Hala, pwede pala yun? Wow, gusto ko rin nun. I want to be like Kuya when I grow up."

"I'll be a doctor and lawyer too!"

"Does Kuya have a girlfriend?" Diane, who's deaf asked

My eyes widened in surprise. I wasn't able to respond right away. I just heard the kids laughed and they teased me. They also repeated her question with a curious look on their faces.

"Baka si Ate Trisha," Ericka answered. They looked at her and nodded in agreement.

"Oo nga. I wonder where's Ate Trisha. Bakit hindi niyo po siya kasama?"

As we converse, they also quickly do the sign language to the other kids who can't understand us. I was distracted by it because I find it cute and heartwarming.

"Ate Trisha is in the U.S. right now but she'll be back soon."

Our conversation was interrupted when the doktora Michelle called the kids for breakfast. Tumayo na ako. She then approached us.

"Halina't kumain na kayo. Nagdala si Kuya niyo ng pagkain para sa inyo," she told them

Lumiwanag ang mukha nila. They jumped and bounced their feet from excitement. "Woah. Really Kuya? Thank you!"

"You're welcome. I also have another surprise for you pero kapag tapos niyo na kumain," I said then did the sign language again

"I can't wait!"

Doktora smiled at their enthusiastic reaction. The kids immediately went to the cafeteria. I helped the rest of the kids who were in the wheelchair. I pushed their wheelchairs to the cafeteria too. Doktora helped and followed me from behind. When we arrived, I saw them sitting next to each other in a big table. I think they were fifteen of them. The nurses distributed the food. May extra pa kapag kinulang.

"Kain lang kayo diyan. Hope you liked the food," I said as I watch them eat. I then helped Georga eat since she was having a hard time. I wiped the dirt beside her mouth using a tissue.

While they were busy eating, I went back to my car and took out the toys I bought for them. It also includes children and educational books, flashcards, and other school supplies to help them learn and improve more in their lifestyle.

"Wow, toys! Thank you so much Kuya!" they said upon receiving my gifts

"What an early Christmas gift!"

"Are you Santa Claus?"

"Hope you liked my gift. Alam kong magagamit niyo 'yan," I smiled. I then went to the kids who have a problem with hearing. I gave each one of them a new hearing aids. I carefully put it behind their ear.

"Does it work well? Can you hear me better?"

They all nodded in response. "Thank you Kuya."

"You're welcome."

After talking to them, I returned back to my seat and watched all of them unboxing my gifts. My heart warmed seeing their pure and cheerful reaction. Hindi maalis ang ngiti sa labi nila.

I noticed that there was a piano in the corner of the room. I was immediately drawn into it so I found my way walking towards it. I sat on the chair and began to play the piano. The sound was beautiful, like a whisper of an angel. I played a soft-mellow, slow, ballad song as I hymn. It filled across the whole room. I just heard some tiny footsteps behind me and to my surprise, I saw the kids were immensely watching me with pure astonishment. Their lips, slightly parted. All eyes were on me.

The corner of my lips rose as I feel my body sway to the music. The kids who were blind were teary eyed. They were deeply moved by the music. Some closed their eyes and hymn the song too.

All of a sudden, I accidentally hit the wrong key when I noticed a familiar woman in the entrance of the hospital. She was talking to Dr. Michelle. Napalingon siya sa'kin. I stopped playing the piano. My eyes were fixed on her.

Dahan-dahan akong napatayo. Bigla nalang siyang lumabas ulit pagkatapos nilang mag-usap. I, on the other hand, went to Dr. Michelle to ask her about the woman.

"Oh, Keith. Do you need anything?"

I glanced outside. I couldn't find her anymore. "Uh, who was the woman you were talking to just now?"

Her brows raised. "Hmm? The woman? Oh, it's Ms. Felicity. Why? Do you know her?"

My lips parted upon hearing her name after a long time. I swallowed hard.

I knew it. Akala ko namamalikmata lang ako pero siya nga. It's Fey. She's here.

Slowly, everything seems to come back to me. This familiar feeling of pain hurt my heart. The day when we talked at the coffee shop flashed before my mind. Malinaw pa rin sa'kin ang lahat. Her reaction, her words, the pain in her voice, everything.

"Keith?"

I got back to my senses when she spoke. Nakatingin lang si doktora sa'kin.

My throat felt dry. "Oh, uhm. Yes. I do know her. I was just curious. Does she also visit here?"

"Oo. Hindi gano'n kadalas tulad sa'yo. But just like you, she also donated money in this hospital. She met some of the kids as well. Ngayon nalang ulit siya nakabisita. I didn't know why she suddenly left. Baka busy. She's a lawyer afterall."

Ilang sandali ay bigla siyang nagpaalam sa'kin dahil may kailangang asikasuhin. I remained standing at the reception, almost facing the door. Her words stuck inside my head. I immediately went out and looked for Fey. Tumingin ako sa kaliwa't kanan. I saw her on her way to her car so I chased after her. Before she was about to get in, I held her wrist. Napalingon siya sa'kin. Her eyes widened in shock.

She swallowed hard. "Keith," she muttered

Nanatili akong nakatingin sa kanya. She hasn't changed much. Her features got more defined by her heavy make-up. There's still a hint of agony in her eyes just like how I remembered.

"Fey.."

The painful past continued to knock on our doors and we found ourselves dwelling in it again. Perhaps this is the reason why our paths crossed again, to settle once and for all.

None of dared to speak. We're here outside the hospital's backyard, sitting at a bench. There's a small space between us. The sun is still up. There were children playing too. Sa kanila lang ako nakatingin.

At first, I didn't know why I chased her. I just feel like I had to. I asked her if we can talk. She was reluctant to agree. Deep down, I know she didn't want to. But here I am, not knowing where to begin. We still haven't healed, maybe that's why it was hard for us to talk about it.

I admit, it still hurts.

"I'm sorry Fey."

As expected, hindi agad siya nakasagot. There was a long moment of silence.

"I always remind myself not to dwell in the past anymore. Na kapag masakit pa rin ay ibig sabihin ay hindi ko pa tanggap," she calmly said. "I didn't even expect to see you here."

"My mom. She used to work here. I'll work here too, soon."

She smiled weakly. "I already know your reason. Hindi mo na kailangang magpaliwanag pa."

Unti-unti akong tumingin sa kanya. Her eyes were fixed on the ground.

I was a bit surprised when she told me she already knew.

"I'm sorry Fey," ulit ko. "I'm sorry if I didn't tell you. I know you will never forgive me for it even if you hear my explanation. Tanggap ko naman at naiintindihan ko. I hurt you too much. I'm not asking for your sympathy. You must think that I played with you but I didn't. I just didn't know what to do at that moment but I want you to know na hindi kita gustong saktan. It's okay if you still hate me even if you already know the reason. I'm still drowning with my own guilt anyway."

"I can't seem to hate you Keith. Not you," she said then looked at me pero hindi iyon nagtagal. "Forgiveness. One of the hardest things to do. Hindi ko kilala ang buong pagkatao mo at gano'n ka rin sa'kin. But sometimes, I wish you could have at least told me about it 'cause you were the least person I was expecting. Everytime I look into your eyes, there's pity so at least I thought somehow, you understand me. And all of a sudden, it just disappeared. I don't know you anymore."

"Perhaps we both had someone to fight for.."

She smiled bitterly. "I guess you're right. That's what we always do."

Napayuko ako. My vision started to blur. "I'm truly sorry Fey. I never wanted to hurt you and your mom. Even I, can't seem to forgive myself for it."

"I can hear the sincerity and hurt in your voice but there was no regret. I understand Keith. I see that you're moving on with your life now. I do too..."

She then slowly stood up, ready to leave. I also rose from my seat and held her wrist. "I'm sorry," my voice broke as tears automatically fell from my eyes

She looked at me for a few seconds. I just then felt her hand on my cheek, wiping my tears away. She gave me a small smile and behind it, somehow is telling me that she already has forgiven me. "Goodbye Keith. Live well."

It was not long until she turned her back to me and began to walk away. I felt my hand slipped on her wrist. My vision was still a blur but I clearly heard her words. It echoed inside my ears.

I never thought I needed to see Fey again. I'm glad I did. It hurt less than the last time. My heart continued to weep but somehow, the heavy burden in my chest was lifted. I was still breathing in pain but gradually healing.

***

Friday came and as soon as I got out of work, I drove my way to Kate's school to pick her up. I waited for her inside the car. When I saw her got out of the gate, I immediately went out.

"Kuya!" she smiled and waved her hand before running towards me

"Hey! How's school?"

She groaned. "God! I'm so exhausted. P.E. kasi namin ngayon e. Ang daming pinagawang activities. My body hurts like hell," she said and did some stretches. I noticed she's wearing a pink shirt and jogging pants. Her brown hair is in a high ponytail. She's sweating a bit.

"Siguradong mawawala ang pagod mo kapag nakita mo itong surprise ko."

Her brows furrowed, confused. Her lips formed into a smile. "What? What surprise?"

"Close your eyes."

"Why do I have to-"

I chuckled. "Just close it."

She sighed and rolled her eyes. "Fine."

I turned around and opened the car.

"Is it concert tickets? Kpop merch? A lightstick?"

"Even better," I said and carefully picked her up out of her cage. Then I turned around to face Kate again while showing it to her. She was already smiling from ear to ear from excitement. "You can open your eyes now."

As soon as she opened, her eyes widened in surprised. She gasped. "Oh my God! It's a puppy!" she squealed

I smiled upon seeing her cute reaction. "It's a Maltese!"

The puppy barked softly as I caress her fur. She looked tiny between my arms. I was so careful 'cause I might squish him with my hands.

"Aww! She's so cute. I want to hold her!" Kate then carefully took the puppy from me. She looked at her face while doing silly facial expression. "Hi baby! You so fluffy." The way she carries her is like a baby. She caressed her white fur and hugged her.

"She's only two years old, still a baby."

"Is she mine?"

"Of course! I know you wanted a puppy."

"But how did you--I mean, I didn't expect you'd give me one. It made me miss Kiwi more. Our old dog before. You remember her, right?"

"Yeah, that's why I adopted a new one for us. She has a different breed tho. Iba din ng kulay."

"What's her name?" she asked and looked at the puppy again

"You can name her. Any idea?"

She looked away and thought deeply. "Hmm. Is it okay to name her Kiwi too? I just really love the name. I can't think of anything else."

I smiled. "Then Kiwi it is."

"Yay! Welcome to the family Kiwi number two." She held her paw and waved it to me. I gently patted the dog's head. She kept on licking Kate's finger.

"She looks like a cloud or a cotton ball."

She nodded in agreement. "Thank you Kuya Kai. Now that I'm older, I promise to take good care of her."

Even in the car, she continued to play with Kiwi. Hindi mawala ang ngiti sa labi niya. Her eyes sparkled in joy. I couldn't help but to smile too. It was quite emotional too looking back to our old dog who died when we were still little. I know how much Kiwi means so much to her. I wanted to gift her a new one.

"I'm happy you liked it Kate."

She looked at me with a huge smile on her lips. "I love it!"

The dog then barked. We chuckled and I caressed her fur.

"Thank you Kuya for everything. I'm sorry if I was a bit hard on you before given our circumstance. I just want to say that I appreciate your efforts and you're more than enough for me. I'm proud of you Kuya. I'm so lucky to have you as my brother. You're the best brother ever."

I looked at her and smiled. "Even if you get old, you will always be my baby sister."

She smiled back and looked at our puppry. "Sometimes I forget that you're my brother since you already achieved so much. You're both a lawyer and a doctor. Some are surprised when they found out I'm your sister. Of course, pinagmamalaki kita sa kanila. I always tell them that you're my best brother in the world."

I chuckled. "Well, I am your only brother. And just by being your brother is all I ever wanna be."

***

"Wait. Where are you again?" Trisha said on the other line

"After my shift, I went to MOA to pick up Kate and her friends. They attended a kpop concert. I'm here outside the arena, leaning against my car."

"Oh, so it must be late at night there. Mga 11pm na siguro diyan. Ilang oras ka na ba naghihintay diyan?" she chuckled

I smiled. "Yeah," I glanced at my watch. "Kakarating ko lang actually. I know the concert will end at exactly 11pm sharp. I came here ten minutes early. I don't know why they're taking so long."

"You're strict when it comes to time. Well, at least your patient enough."

I shifted my weight and slid my hand inside my pocket, staring at the ground. "What are you doing? It's been a month now. Hindi ka pa ba uuwi?"

"OA. It's only been three weeks Kai. Napaghahalataan ka masyado."

"Really? But it felt like a month has passed already. I miss you Tris. I need to see you now or else I would lose my mind," I said huskily

My brows furrowed because she suddenly went silent.

"Trisha."

"Ha? Ano..uhm. I miss you too. I'll come home to you soon."

My lips curved into a smile. "I asked you what you were doing."

"I'm here at the hotel. Mamaya mamasyal ako. I also met with some of my friends here. Mom has a meeting with her client kaya mag-isa lang ako dito. Pachill-chill lang. I'm in the balcony, admiring the breathtaking view. Pinanood mo naman IG stories ko 'di ba?"

"Yeah. Always. You posted a lot of pictures and stories. You look beautiful in all of them."

"Ang laki ng ginlow-up ko."

I chuckled. "I'll also send pics here. Hold on." I swiped my phone to the camera and took a seflie then I sent it to her. She texted me her response.

Tris:

You look handsome af. I'm so lucky to be your 'bestfriend.' Thanks! I have a new wallpaper now :P

I was about to text her to send pictures of her too but then she already sent me ten selfies! I couldn't contain my smile as I look at each photo. God, I love my girl so much!

Tris:

Use it well ;)

"Kuya!"

Inangat ko ang paningin ko sa tumawag. There I saw Kate together with her friends walking towards me. They were wearing matching shirt and LED colorful headbands. They even bought merch. Napansin kong unti-unti na ring nagsisilabasan ang mga tao.

"Sorry if we took long. Nagpicture pa kasi kami. Kanina ka pa ba?"

I shook my head and put my phone back inside my pocket. "Nope. Come. Let's get inside now." I opened the car door for them

"Thank you Kuya Keith!" her friends said and got inside

"You're welcome."

While driving, they played some music and sang together which I can't really relate since I don't understand what they were singing. They were also talking about their concert experience at the back.

"How's the concert?"

"It was fun!"

"Ang gwapo ni Taeyong!"

"Akin si Jaehyun."

"Basta mahal ko silang lahat."

"Ang daming tao. Sobrang ingay din. Iba talaga kapag Filipino kpop fan."

"Nawalan na ako ng boses pasensiya na," one of them coughed and they laughed at her

"The tickets were so expensive especially sa seat namin but it was worth it!"

I smiled when they were happy and that they enjoyed the concert. Kate was beside me while looking through their photos.

"Kate. Pasend naman nung video yung nagpakita si Johnny ng abs niya, dali," kinalabit siya ng kaibigan niya sa likod

Kate's eyes widened in shock. She swallowed hard. I arched my brows, amused. I was trying my best to hold back my laughter at her reaction.

She shut her eyes in embarrassment. "Ang ingay mo naman Althea." Her friend continued to bug her. "Sending na," she hissed

"Thankie!"

"I'm sure Trisha would be jealous," I told her. The girls were busy jamming songs at the back.

Napatingin siya sa'kin. "Oo nga eh. I actually send her some videos that I took during the concert. Inggit daw siya," she laughed evilly

"Did you also send her the guy with the abs? I hope not."

She looked away, feeling awkward again but then a sly smile crept on her lips. "I will send it to her," she stuck her tongue at me

I scowled. "Don't."

She burst in laughter. "Don't worry. Ate Trisha loves you more," she said. "Do you love her?"

I glanced at her. "Of course I love Trisha."

"But only as a friend. Alam ko naman. We always talk about it too."

Napatingin ako sa kanya. "What?"

"Nothing," she replied quickly

I shook my head and diverted my attention back to the road. It was raining a bit outside.

"Is there a chance na magkatuluyan kayo?"

I was surprised by her sudden question. "Why'd you ask?"

She played with her hair. "Nothing. I think in the future, you'll end up together," she teased but she was sure of it

A small smile secretly formed on my lips while thinking about Trisha. "Who knows? Maybe someday, it will."

She continued to tease me. "I can tell by the look in your eyes. It sparks. You're always happy when you're with her."

"Both good and bad times. Never a dull moment with her. Even if we're miles away, our hearts remain close to each other. I just wish she'd come home soon," I said. " And I believe our friendship will last for eternity. She's my greatest love."