#TPTG19

"Kinakabahan na ko," nag-aalalang sabi ni Julia

"Me too."

Today is our revalida which is an oral examination at the end of an academic term. Our profs will ask us questions on the spot one by one and we have to answer it. Sort of like a thesis defense.

"Guys, goodluck sa'tin. Sana yung matanong sa inyo yung related sa case na binasa niyo," si Yuan

All of us as wearing corporate attire. My male classmates are wearing black suit and tie. I'm wearing a gray trousers and white longsleeves polo. Kanina ko pa pinupunasan ang palad ko sa pants ko dahil kanina pa ito pasmado.

"Shit, andyan na si Atty," wika ni Julia

Napatingin ako sa kanya. Huminga ako ng malalim nung nagsimula na siyang magtawag. It all came by so fast. I watch my classmates as they answer the questions. Habang tumatagal ay pahirap ng pahirap ang tanong. The cases were difficult as well.

I started to get worried. I was silently praying that I'll get called soon. I want to end this already. Parang gusto nang makawala ng puso ko sa dibdib ko.

"Guevarra," tawag niya

Natauhan ako. I stood up straight and made sure I have the proper posture.

"Define the principle of double criminality."

Huminga muna ako ng malalim bago sumagot. I repeated the question inside my head.

"Under the double criminality rule, the extraditable offense must be criminal under the laws of both the requesting and the requested states," I paused for a few seconds to calm my breathing. "This simply means that..."

Shit. I totally forgot what I was going to say. Na-mental block ako bigla.

I repeated the definition again. After a few moments, natapos na ako. May tinawag ulit sa'min.

I just fucked it up.

"Okay lang 'yan Fey. You did well. Makakahinga ka na ng maluwag," Agatha comforted me

I sighed. "I forgot some words. You know how crucial my situation is right now. Every recit matters to me."

I missed some of the terms during my recit. Malaking puntos din ang ibabawas doon. Alam ng prof namin kung sino iyong mga nag-aral at talagang nagbasa ng cases. They can easily spot it. Even in our body language, the way we speak, the clarity of our voice, our posture, everything, that's why you always have to be prepared.

"But you answered well," ulit niya

Maya-maya ay siya na ang sunod na tinawag. I wished her goodluck. She smiled and nodded.

Bumalik sa isip ko ang naging recit ko kanina. I felt like I could have done better. I always have this mindset of to do my best everytime. I'm a perfectionist. I'm an overachiever who has high standards for myself. I always aim for high grades. It's self-sabotage. It's unhealthy but I can't be chill all the time. Besides, kailangan ko talagang bumawi. I don't want to lose my scholarship.

Nakakapagod pero kailangan kong lumaban.

"Si Atty. Mendoza padin pa prof natin sa CivRev?"

"Oo, terror din yun eh. Literal na umiiyak students kapag hindi nakakasagot."

"Grabe, baka hindi ako maka-graduate. I mean, baka nga third year 'di ko maabot eh."

"Malapit nadin pala finals! Pagod na ko," reklamo ni Agatha

Maya-maya ay dumating na ang sundo ko.

"Oh, Fey, uuwi ka na?" tanong nila

Nilingon ko sila at tumango. "Yeah."

"Okay. Ingat pauwi!" they waved their hands at me

I waved back and began to walk towards our car. Pumasok na ako sa loob.

"Goodafternoon ma'am," bati ni Manong

"Goodafternoon."

He only gave me a small smile and began to drive. I suddenly remembered I still have Keith's handkerchief.

"Ahh. Manong, pwede po daan muna tayo sa cafe?" sabi ko

Our eyes met at the rearview mirror. "Sige po."

After a few minutes, we arrived at the cafe. He then parked the car in front of it and I got out. I suddenly stopped and look at my surroundings. I made sure there wasn't any reporters around. Delikado na. I have to make this quick.

I walked fast towards the cafe. I opened the door and I heard the wind chime. Agad kong hinanap si Keith. Kumunot ang noo ko nung hindi ko siya makita.

Where could he be? He told me he's always here.

Nilibot ko na ang buong cafe pero ni anino niya ay wala. Pinagtitinginan na ako ng mga customers dito. In the end, I went to the cashier lady to ask.

"Uh, excuse me."

It was the same lady from yesterday. "Yes ma'am?"

"Do you know Keith? He's a regular here at your cafe."

Her brows furrowed, confused. "Po? Sino pong Keith?"

"Uh...he's a law student. He's uhm," I honestly don't know how to describe him. "He's tall and a bit tan. He has broad shoulders. Medyo singkit din yung mata. He looks intimidating and quite unapproachable--"

Mas lalong kumunot ang noo niya. She tilted her head na para bang nag-iisip ng malalim.

My lips parted. "You know what? Nevermind-"

"Ah. Yung poging Attorney!" she snapped

I blinked twice. "Po?"

I'm pretty sure he's still a student like me. Bakit niya sinabing attorney agad?

"Siya po ba? Yung laging naka-formal yung suot tapos pogi na mukhang matalino?"

I slowly nodded. "I guess so..."

"Madalas nga po siya dito kasama mga kaklase niya" sabi niya at tumingin sa kaliwa't kanan. "Nakapagtataka, wala po siya ngayon."

I cleared my throat. "Yeah. If you could uh, lend this back to him," I said and placed the handkerchief on top of the counter

She looked at it and back to me.

"Paabot sa kanya kung sakaling dumating siya ngayon o bukas. Thank you," I gave her a small smile

She smiled back and nodded in response. Tumalikod na ako at lumabas na ng cafe. I checked my surroundings again and made sure there were no signs of reporters. I then went straight back to the car.

I sighed in relief when I got back safe and sound.

"Okay lang po kayo ma'am?" tanong ni Manong

"Yeah."

He started the engine then glanced at me. "Ah, nga po pala. Susunduin ko yung anak kong si Vince sa school. Ayos lang ba?"

"Sure po."

Tumango siya at nagsimula ulit mag-maneho. I looked outside the window and watch the sunset. The sky is now orange and pink in color.

"Kamusta na po pala si Vince?"

"Ayun, graduating na. Nag-aaral na rin para sa Civil Licensure exam," sagot niya

I nodded in response.

The ride was pretty long. The next thing I knew, we're already in front of a school.

I saw Vince standing outside of his school. He immediately spotted our car. Tumingin siya sa kaliwa't kanan bago tumawid.

"Pa, sabi ko naman sa'yo na hindi mo na ako kailangan sund- hala, andito pala si Fey," gulat niyang sabi pagbukas ng passenger seat

I smiled sweetly. "Hi."

He smiled shyly. "Hello."

Hindi niya alam kung saan papasok, kung sa shot gun seat katabi ng papa niya o sa'kin.

"Pumasok ka na," utos ni Manong

In the end, he went back here at the passenger's seat beside me. Halos isiksik niya na ang sarili sa dulo. Nilagay niya ang backpack sa harap at tumingin sa labas ng bintana. I chuckled softly by his strange yet cute actions.

"Kamusta school anak?"

"Okay lang," tipid niyang sagot

Naging tahimik ang byahe namin.

"O, bakit ang tahimik mo diyan?"

"Ha? Hindi ah. P-pagod lang."

"Talaga? O dahil andito lang si Fey?" his father teased him

Yumuko ako at palihim na ngumiti

"Pa naman," complained Vince

"Bakit? Crush lang naman," he chuckled

Nanlaki ang mata ni Vince at biglang umayos ng upo. Sumulyap din siya sa'kin. He seems flustered and shy.

Manong Richard laughed. "Joke lang. Sabi ko nga 'di ba, aral muna. Tsaka ka na manligaw."

"Hindi ko naman gusto si Fey eh," he defended and looked at me but it didn't last long. I saw him blushed.

"Binata na talaga ang anak ko," his father smiled

"Tama na nga pa, baka hindi komportable si Fey," awat niya

I looked at him and smiled. "Best of luck sa Civil Licensure exam. I hope you'll pass."

Napatingin siya sa'kin. He got flustered again. "Ah, uhm. Salamat," he responded shyly

Tumingin nalang ulit ako sa labas ng bintana. I wish I can have that kind of relationship like my dad. I want what they have. Kahit simple lang ang pamumuhay nila ay masaya padin sila.

***

Finals week came. I was so focused on my studies. I doubled the amount of effort than the previous sem. Mas mahirap na Rin ang subjects ko ngayon. Of course, I want to graduate and pass the bar exam. That's my ultimate goal.

"Fey-"

"Can't talk right now," I said while digesting cases. Ang dami ko pang kailangang basahin at wala akong oras para makipagkwentuhan.

"I just want to say sorry for the other day."

I glanced at the man in front of me. I sighed. "What are you still doing here? Alvaro."

He gulped. "Uhm. I-I want to apologize."

"Apology accepted, now go. I'm busy right now," I waved my hand to dismiss him

Hindi pa rin siya umaalis sa harap ko. I stopped for a moment to rest and cracked my knuckles. "Didn't you understand what I said? Do you want me to translate it in Spanish?"

I was slowly losing my patience. Seriously, why the hell is he still here? Where are his parents? Huwag mong sabihin dito siya mismo sa mansion nagbabakasyon sa'min.

"No."

"You're wasting my time," sabi ko at tumayo. 

I decided to continue studying at my room instead. I was studying peacefully here at the balcony when he suddenly came out of nowhere.

"No. Wait, senorita!" tawag niya at humarang sa dinadaanan ko

Umatras ako. I arched my brow, waiting for his answer.

He gulped. "Will you go out on a date with me?"

My brows furrowed. "What did you say? A date?"

He slowly nodded.

I scoffed. "Asa ka."

Nilagpasan ko na siya pero agad niya kong sinundan. "Please senorita-"

"No me llames así! (don't call me that)"

Yumuko siya. "Lo siento (I'm sorry)"

I held my readings tightly. "I won't go on a date with you."

"But...just give me a chance. I really like you Fey," malambing niyang sabi

I cringed. "You don't like me. You just want to get inside my pants."

Namilog ang mata niya at mabilis na umiling. "No, no, no."

I rolled my eyes. "I don't date. Sorry, goodbye."

Lalagpasan ko na sana siya pero bigla niya ulit akong pinigilan.

Seriously, why is he so desperate?

I groaned and pinched the bridge of my nose. "There's plenty women out that can date you so why me? Pwede ba, huwag ako. Please lang."

Mukhang hindi niya naintindihan ang huli kong sinabi.

He avoided my gaze and tried to find the exact words to say. "I know, but you're different Fey. I've dated a lot of girls but they're far from you. Please, just one date."

I scoffed. "Gasgas na yang linya mo. Hindi 'yan uubra sa'kin. And for Pete's sake, we just met like two days ago. We barely talked and now you're saying all these lines to me?"

He licked his lips while staring into my eyes. "I want to get to know you."

"I'm not." I glanced at my watch and it's almost six in the evening. I still have a lot of schoolworks to finish and he's wasting my time!

"Felicity-"

"Tell me, did dad set you up for me? May inutos ba siya sa'yo?" I arched my brow

Kumunot ang noo niya. "What? No. Nothing. I'm just simply interested in you."

I groaned. "Kapag ba pumayag ako, titigilan mo na ko?"

Hindi agad siya nakasagot. I guess he didn't understand what I said again.

Pumikit ako ng mariin. "Fine...but after finals na. I'll go on a date with you and after that, don't bother me anymore. Are we clear?"

Nabuhayan siya bigla. He nodded and smiled, showing a bit of his teeth.

Inirapan ko siya bago lagpasan.

As soon as I got inside my room, I just realized what I put myself into. 

Fuck. Why did I agree to date him? Paano kung may gawin siyang masama sa'kin? Who knows, he might have ulterior motives. Napasabunot nalang ako sa buhok ko.

At this point, I don't exactly know what I'm doing right now. Gusto ko lang kasi matapos na ang usapan namin dahil kailangan ko pang mag-aral. I don't intend to waste my time on him. I didn't expect he'd be so persistent.

Well, it's just a date Fey. It's not like my first time, naalala ko pa na marami sa'king nirereto si papa noon na mga anak ng business partner niya na makipag-date sa'kin. All for the sake of his business and so that I could close the 'deal'.

As planned, pagkatapos ng exams ay naghanda na ako sa date namin. I cringed everytime I say the word 'date.'

"Oh, kaya naman pala, may date si Fey. Sana all," pang-aasar ni Julia

"Yayayain ka sana namin gumala after exams tutal malapit nadin bakasyon," sabi ni Agatha

"Sorry girls. I would love to but..." if only they knew that I didn't want to go on a date in the first place. "I'll make it up to you. Sorry."

"Sige na, bye na. Enjoy your date! Balitaan mo kami ah," she teased and wiggled her eyebrows

I rolled my eyes and smiled. Binaba ko na ang tawag pagkatapos.

I stare at my face in front of the mirror as I put on my highlighter. I fixed my hooped earrings and wore my gold bracelet together with rings. The last thing I did is put perfume all over my neck and on my wrist. I touched my necklace that my mother gave me on my birthday. Huminga ako ng malalim pagkatapos.

Hope this night ends well for me.

***

"And then my father was like, 'Be brave son,you are the pride of the nation' and I was like 'Yes father, I won't be a disgrace to the family," he proudly said

I sighed and took a sip from my wine. It's been an hour since he started telling me his life story. All throughout, I was bored and completely uninterested. Hindi dahil sa hindi siya masaya kasama but because I'm simply not interested in this guy.

Sure he's talkative and enthusiastic but he's no different to me. I can't even remember half of what he said. Hindi ko naman ineexpect na madaldal pala siyang tao or maybe he just wants to impress me.

"So you volunteered as a soldier in your home country?" I asked lazily

He nodded, slicing through his steak. "Yeah. And I even got shot! It left me with a huge scar. Want to see?" He was about to lift his shirt up kaya agad ko siyang pinigilan

"No, no. You don't need to," I panicked

He chuckled and slowly fixed his shirt. "But yeah, then I pursued my education. I really wanted to work in the military."

Well, that explains his huge physique.

"And also, my great great grandfather was a part of the soldiers who fought for Independency during the Spanish War," he added

"It runs in the blood," I forced a smile

He nodded. "Yes."

Bumuntong hininga ako at naghalumbaba sa lamesa.

"And did you know that..."

Patuloy lang siya sa pagkwento. I was dozing off. Tumingin nalang ako sa mga tao sa restaurant na kinakainan namin. We're at this fancy restaurant where everything screams luxury. In the center, there was a man playing the piano accompanied with two ladies playing the violin. The music they're playing sounded like an old, ballad, with a bit of jazz into it. I find it relaxing.

"How about you Fey?"

I wish to end this night sooner. Napapansin ko din sa sarili ko na nawawalan na ko ng gana makipag-usap sa mga tao. I have no energy to socialize anymore.

"Fey?"

Napatingin ako kay Alvaro. "Hmm?"

"Tell me about yourself," he smiled

I blinked twice and avoided his gaze. "Uhm...I don't have much to say about me."

Honestly, I just don't like to share my personal life with anyone, especially him.

"Sure you can," he said enthusiastically

I cleared my throat. "Well, I'm a law student."

He looked at me as if waiting for me to add more.

He chuckled. "Okay, I'll just ask some questions if that's alright."

I pressed my lips. "Uhm. Okay?"

"Have you had any boyfriend?"

Muntikan pa kong masamid sa sarili kong laway. Napainom ako ng wine.

"Too personal, but no."

He scoffed. "You're kidding."

"Do I look like I'm joking?" I said, fighting the urge not to roll my eyes at me

His lips parted. "Even suitors?"

"Well, I had plenty but that's it. I didn't entertain them."

"Wow, you must be hard to get. I mean, hard to please," he cleared his throat. "Okay, well what's your type then? What do you look for in a man?"

"I'm not looking for a man," diretso kong sabi

Seriously, why is he so interested with my love life? If he thinks he has a chance on me, boy he doesn't. Not even one percent.

Umiwas siya ng tingin at marahang tumawa. "You're very..."

"What?" I raised my brow

"Nothing," he smiled awkwardly

Tipid lang akong ngumiti bilang sagot. I held my wine glass and took a sip from it.

"So, what are your plans after law school?"

I licked my lips. "Well, I'll take the bar exam and work at a law firm-" I paused when I saw someone familiar from the corner of my eye

Tumingin ako sa kanan at nakita sa dulong bahagi ng lamesa si papa. Kumunot ang noo ko.

What's he doing here?

I looked carefully to confirm. My eyes suddenly widened when I realized it was actually him. He was with a woman who's I'm not familiar with. They were laughing while talking. They look happy together, enjoying each other's company. Dad whispered something in her ear that made the woman giggled.

"Fey?"

Hindi ko inalis ang paningin sa kanila kahit na tinatawag ako ni Alvaro. I slowly clenched my fist as I watch them having a good time.

Who is this woman anyway? Why does it look like they're flirting with each other? Ayokong mag-assume pero halata talagang naglalandian sila sa harap ko.

"Fey," he called again

Napatingin ako sa kanya. Nakita kong tumingin din siya sa kanan.

"Hey, isn't that your dad?" he asked

I didn't respond.

"Wait, let me call him-"

"No!" medyo napalakas ng konti ang boses ko

He startled and looked at me, wide eye. Binalik ko ang tingin kay papa. They were smiling to each other. They raised their glass and exchanged toast.

"Who's he with? Do you know?"

I gulped and shook my head.

So they were here this whole time at ngayon ko lang napansin? What a coincidence.

Maya-maya ay bigla silang tumayo. Dad went closer to the woman and placed his hand on her waist. I even saw him stole a kiss on her cheek!

My lips parted as I watch them walk towards the exit.

"Excuse me," paalam ko sa kanya at agad na tumayo

"Wait. Hey, where are you going?"

Hindi ko na pinansin si Alvaro. Dirediretso lang ang lakad ko at sinundan sila. I hid behind every corner so that they won't know that I'm following them.

Pagkalabas ng restaurant ay hinanap ko sila. I shivered by the cold breeze that enevelop my skin. And so, I wrapped my arms around myself.

Nilibot ko ang paningin sa parking lot. May ilang tao ang nakasalubong ko.

Habang naglalakad ay napahinto ako nang makita sila ilang metro ang layo sa'kin. Dad opened the car door for her and the lady went inside. Pumasok na rin siya sa driver's seat. Umilaw ang kotse at umandar. Pinanood ko iyon habang papalayo.

Where are they going this late hour?

I can't believe I just saw my dad with another woman. Sumabog ang mga katanungan sa isip ko. Bigla ulit pumasok sa isip ko ang masaya nilang mukha habang nagkwekwentuhan.

I shook my head and bit my lip hard.

Sana.

Sana mali ang iniisip ko.