#TPTG12

My eyes were glued on our prof as she shuffle the index cards on her hands. I swallowed hard as I stare at it. I tried my best to recall everything that I've studied for the past few days. The room is akwardly silent and I can clearly hear my heart pounding inside my chest. I can feel the tension rising in the air.

Hindi matatago ang nerbyos at kaba naming lahat. Even I, feel nervous and anxious. My stomach is turning upside down. I am confident that I'll answer whatever the question is because I read and understand the cases thoroughly.

"Miss Guevarra," she called

Her voice echoed inside my ear. Nanatiling blanko ang mukha niya habang nakatingin sa'kin. Nakahinga ng maluwag ang katabi ko.

I rose from my seat and remained calm. Hindi ko inalis ang paningin ko sa kanya habang binabasa niya ang tanong.

"At about 5:30am of September 15, 2019 Police Senior Inspector Officer A of the Manila Police District Station received a text message from an unidentified civillian informer that one Mr. Z would be meeting up later that morning with two potential sellers of drugs at a nearby restaurant. As such, Officer A decided to hang around the said place immediately. At about 9:15am, two male passengers. Named A and Y, who were carrying a traveling bag, alighted from a bus in front of the restaurant. A transport barker, serving as a lookout for Officer A, signaled to the latter that X and Y were "suspicious-looking." As the two were about to enter the restaurant, Officer A stopped them and asked about the contents of their bags. Dissatisfied with their response that the bags contained only clothes. Officer A proceeded to search the bags and found packs of shabu therein. Thus, X and Y were arrested, and the drugs were seized from them. According to Officer A, a warrantless search was validly made pursuant to the stop and frisk rule hence the consequent seizure of the drugs was likewise valid."

After listening to the question, I took my time to analyze it. I remembered I read a case similar to that.

"Was the stop and frisk rule validly invoked by Officer A? If not, what is the effect on the drugs seized as evidence?"

I took a deep breath before answering. "It was not valid ma'am."

Her brows furrowed. "How so?"

"Stop and frisk serves a two-fold interest. Number one, crime prevention and detection. Number two, safety and self-preservation of the police officer. While probable cause is not required to conduct a stop and frisk, it nevertheless holds that mere suspicion or a hunch will not validate a stop and frisk," I paused

Tahimik lang siya habang nakikinig sa'kin. I can't read her facial expressions. I don't know if I'm answering everything right but I still kept going.

"Morever, a genuine reason must exist, in light of the police officer's experience and surrounding conditions, to warrant the belief that the person has weapons concealed about him. According to Article three section 3 of the Constitution, since the drug seized was a product of unlawful search and seizure, the same is inadmissible in evidence against X and Y."

She nodded and wrote something on my index card. "Thank you, you may sit down."

Pagkaupo na pagkaupo ko ay nakahinga ako ng maluwag. Glad that's over.

I don't know what my grade is but I hope I pass. I'm praying that I pass. Every recitation matters to me. Every recit counts. Malaking puntos iyon sa grades ko.

She then started to shuffle the cards again.

"Mister Eric Torres. Stand up," she called

Tumingin ako sa katabi ko na ngayon ay napapikit nalang. Huminga siya ng malalim at unti-unting tumayo.

"Eric. Can you run for the election of you're in prison?" she asked

Napatingin kaming lahat sa kanya. I feel bad for him but I hope he can answer it right.

He scratched his head. "Uh no ma'am."

"I can't hear you. Come again?" she strictly said

"N-no ma'am," sagot ng binata

Base on his facial expressions, I know he was not sure of his answer. Napangunahan siya ng kaba at nerbyos niya. I can clearly see it by the way his actions and by the way his standing.

"Sigurado ka?"

He looked away and nodded.

"Why?"

This is one of the hardest part in Law school. You just simply answer a yes or no. It is not acceptable. Most of the questions are not answerable by yes or no. You have to explain it based on facts, according to the readings. Not based on your opinions.

"No because I think-"

"Hindi ko hinihingi ang opinion mo. I don't care about everybody's opinion. Just give me an answer," she immediately cut him off

I sighed and massaged my head. I glanced at the other students who are just silent throughout the recitations. I don't know what's going through their minds but I can feel their nervousness. I know all of us are scared because of our terror prof.

"Look at me Mister Torres," ulit niya

Agad na tumingin ang binata sa kanya. Tinaasan siya ng kilay ng prof namin habang hinihintay ang sagot niya.

"Well ma'am..." he paused. There was a long silence. He couldn't answer. He just stood there, eyes on the floor.

"Remain standing."

He nodded and sighed. Our prof roamed her eyes around us. Tinignan niya kami isa isa. Ang mga kaklase ko ay hindi makatingin sa kanya.

"Sebastian Garcia, do you agree with him?" she suddenly called a student behind me

I looked at him and just like Eric, he seemed surprised dahil tinawag siya. He stood up, hands inside his jacket.

Another part of Law school is you have to be prepared. Always. We never know when the proff is going to call us. Hindi din natin alam kung kailan sila magpaparecit. Most of the time, it's all recitation. Bihira lang ang lectures. It's either recit or quiz.

"Ma'am, that was not on the readings po," sagot niya

I immediately looked away, eyes widened and covered my face with the palm of my hand.

"If you don't know the answer then you didn't read enough."

Rule number one, you can't say that to the teacher. Kahit ano pang excuse mo ay hindi iyon tatanggapin. It's still your fault if you didn't read the readings thoroughly.

"Singko," aniya at muling nagsulat sa index card

Napabuntong hininga nalang siya bago umupo. I can see how disappointed he was. Law school is indeed hard. I couldn't stress it enough.

After class, some of my friends approached.

"Congrats Fey. You survived this week of recit," Julia said

I smiled weakly. "I barely survived."

"Barely?! Kamusta pa kami?" si Yuan

"Oo nga," si Agatha

"Hey, you did well kanina Agatha," I encouraged her

She smiled sweetly. "I'm just glad that's over."

"I feel bad to Eric and Sebastian. Medyo mahirap din yung tanong eh," si Julia

"Everyone has experienced bad recits. Bawi nalang," I said and tried to cheer them up

"You always have good ones," siko ni Yuan

Kumunot ang noo ko at umiling. "Not all the time. I have bad recits too."

"Which are rare on most ocassions!"

I chuckled. "I'm just always prepared. Wala naman tayong choice. We choice to study Law in the first place so, kailangan nating panindigan."

"Pinagsisisihan ko na," sabi ni Agatha at lumungkot ang mukha

"Hay nako girl. Hindi ka na pwede magback-out. We're already on sophomore year. Wala ka ng kawala," Julia teased her

"Basta laban guys. Kaya natin 'to!" Yuan tried to cheer us up

I smiled. "Yeah, we can do this."

Law school is not for the weak hearted. You have to be strong mentally and emotinally. I know some people who became depressed because of law shool dahil hindi nila kinaya. It affected their self-esteem. All of us who are studying law right now, our mental health was tested.

Law school is survival of the fittest. Hindi lang dapat matalino ka kundi kailangan ng sipag at tyaga. You will encounter a lot of obstacles, terror profs, and endless amount of readings and recits.

"I'll get going. I still have to digest some cases," paalam ko

"Really? Kami din eh. Sabay sabay na tayo," si Julia

"Oo nga. Tara Fey!" si Agatha. She clinged her arm on me

We went to the library to study. Dito kami lagi nag-aaral but sometimes we got to coffee shops. It depends on my mood.

"Eto pala yung bagong readings," sabi ni Julia

I stare at the amount of papers she placed on the table. Sobrang kapal nito at nakakaduling tignan.

Agtha sighed while typing something on her laptop. "Ganyan kakapal?"

"Uh-huh. Constitution palang 'yan. Batch one," she replied

I took the papers and scanned it. As I flip through the pages, I can already tell how long it will take me to read all of them. My eyes couldn't take it anymore so I placed it back. I massaged my temple and back to digesting cases. I'm not even done yet with the last batch and there's a new one already? The fuck.

"Kape guys? You want? Mukhang tatagal pa tayo dito sa lib," aya ni Julia

"My God Julia. We're always here twenty four seven. Kung pwede nga lang dito na tayo tumira eh," Agatha replied, frustrated

"Bakit nagagalit?" Julia teased her

"Stress lang eh."

"Can you quiet down please? I'm trying to study here," I said. I didn't mean to be rude. I just want to study peacefully.

"Oh sorry," Julia whispehered. Nagpaalam siya para kumuha ng kape

"Ako din ah," I heard Agatha whisphered

Law school is where I met new people. I'm quite surprised that I made friends. I thought no one can stand me because of my cold and intimidating aura but I guess there's some who chose to be friends with me. I don't why but I'm grateful for them. I'm fine with having no friends but I wouldn't came this far if it wasn't for them. Masarap din sa pakiramdam kapag may karamay ka.

I have a social life even before law school but I only have a small circle of friends. I'm not the type of person who easily let people enter my life. I always have this barrier that's why right now it feels different. I think my social life just expanded. It's inevitible. Now, that I got into a new school. I got to meet new faces and experience a whole different environment. I have to blend in. You can't really survive Law school on your own.

"How's law school so far Fey?" Dad asked

Hell. I wanted to say that.

"I'm already in sophomore year Dad."

"Oh, right. Ang bilis talaga ng panahon," he said before sipping on his coffee

"Nahihirapan ka ba?" mom worriedly asked

What kind of question is that mom? Of course I am.

I slowly nodded. "It's hard but I can do it."

She only gave me a small smile.

"Sabi ko naman kasi sa kanya na huwag na mag-law. She's a smart girl and there's a lot of other things that she can do," Dad commented

"I did not regret Law school Dad. Alam ko yung pinasok ko."

"Hon. Can you just support Fey? She's doing so well in law school," si mama

Dad cleared his throat. "Of course I support her," he said half-heartedly

My grip tightened on the fork that I'm holding. I drank from my glass and forced myself to eat.

"By the way, I heard na nakapag-abroad si Keith."

Napahinto ako. Why did he suddenly brought him up?

"He's your classmate right? The one who graduated valedictorian instead of you. I heard from my friend that after he graduated highschool, he went straight to the U.S. to pursue his studies."

I gulped. I graduated as salutatorian but I guess it was not enough for them. When I found about it, I didn't feel bad. I kinda felt disappointed at myself but I just accepted it. Tanggap ko pero hindi ko alam kung tanggap ba ng magulang ko hanggang ngayon.

They're both expecting me to graduate as valedictorian but I disappointed them. I don't know of they're proud of me or what. It's all in the past anyway. What's important is law school because it is much harder and challenging. Everything that I've achieved in highschool, kinalimutan ko na iyon.

"Yes, but we never really talked about him," I trailed off

"I just remembered. Buti pa siya nakapag-abroad agad. I told you, there are bigger opportunities for you in the U.S. at sinayang mo lang iyon. He made the right decision. I'm sure he has a bright future ahead of him."

I stared at my plate. Here he is comparing me again with Keith. He likes to brag other kids but couldn't do the same to me. Mas proud pa siya sa kanya kaysa sa sarili niyang anak. What a supportive father that he is!

"Didn't you know that he's planning to take up law too?" dagdag niya

"Hindi..."

"Oh, I thought you guys are...friends?" 

There's a double meaning in his tone. He must be thinking that there's something going on between Keith and I which is wala naman talaga. We don't have any romantic feelings for each other that everyone assumes.

Hindi nalang ako sumagot at tinuon ang atensiyon sa pagkain.

"Of course they're friends. Am I right Fey?" ngiting sabi ni mama. "Naalala ko nung highschool pa sila, madalas na nandito sa mansion si Keith gumagawa ng group projects together with Fey. Almost everyday, I think. Mabait at magalang na bata si Keith. I treat him as my own son. Kamusta na pala siya anak?" mom asked me

I pressed my lips. "Uh, hindi na po kami nakakapag-usap."

Keith and I have lost contact when we graduated from highschool. Wala na akong balita sa kanya eversince. I mean, we weren't that 'close' in the first place and I don't know much about him but I do consider him as my friend now. Gano'n din siya sa'kin. We just went to different paths now to pursue our dreams.

After dinner, I went to my room to study. I took a break and checked my phone. I suddenly remembered Keith so I read our last conversation which was years ago.

Ako:

Congrats Valedictorian! :)

Keith:

Congratulations, Salutatorian.

I can't help but to smile reading them. Magmula no'n ay hindi na kami nag-usap pa. I wonder what he's up to now? I hope he's doing well. Gusto ko siyang kamustahin pero baka maging istorbo lang ako sa kanya. And besides, we haven't talked for years now. I think it would be awkward to see him again. I do hope that someday, our paths will cross again...

The next day I woke up early. Exactly six o'clock in the morning. I did my morning routine. I meditate for ten minutes and went to the gym to work out. I only started to work out for the sake of my sanity. Exercising helps my brain function. It keeps me awake and energized for the rest of the day.

After working out, I took a bath. Then I went downstairs to eat breakfast. Umakyat ulit ako sa kwarto para mag-aral. I usually start at nine o'clock in the morning until night.

Eversince I went to law school, I developed this routine. I always plan and list the things that I do for today and for the next day. I always plan ahead. I also have a schedule for studying. It's very productive.

In law school, I make use of my time wisely. I don't waste it. Endless amount of studying, memorizing, sleepless nights, caffeine rushing on my blood. The same routine from Mondays to Saturdays. Sunday lang ang pahinga ko. It's very tiring and draining. Nakakamatay siya talaga. Well, this is my life now.

While studying, my phone suddenly rang.

"Hello?"

"Fey!"

"Lou," I said as I highlight some articles

"Just to remind you that my birthday is coming up!" she said with full of enthusiasm

I stopped. "Oh, yeah, right."

"You'll come right?"

I looked at my mini calendar at my desk. Mid terms is two weeks from now.

I sighed. "Uh...the thing is-"

"You promised you'll come. No buts," she cut me off

I bit my lip and massaged my temple. "I know but I'm really busy right now and-" I paused and  shut my eyes. "Fine. I'm coming pero hindi ako magtatagal. I can't stay up all night."

"Yay! I thought you'll reject me again. Me, your own friend?!"

"Stop being dramatic or else I'm not coming anymore," I chuckled

"Joke lang. Sungit mo naman."

Pagkatapos naming mag-usap ay bumalik ako sa pag-aaral.

"Ma'am Fey. Lunch na po." I heard the maid called outside my door.

Lunch time already? I checked my phone and it's already past twelve. 

"Okay po!" I yelled

I sighed while staring all the papers I have on my desk. I have my Ipad set up on the side because that's where I take notes. My criminal law book is opened and a bunch of pencils and highlighters scattered everwhere.

Maslalong dumagdag ang iisipin ko dahil kay Lou. I want to attend her party. I  really do, but there are much more important things that I must prioritize.

Still, she is my friend. I don't know if she understands my situation right now. That I'm busy and I have no time to party whatsover. But Lou is Lou. You can't say no to her.

"Fey!" she called and hugged me as soon as she saw me. "You came!"

"Surprise! Happy birthday!" I smiled

She gasped in surprise. "Is that mine?"

I looked down at my gift. "Yeah."

"Aww thank you!" she squealed and took the gift. Her eyes was sparkling in joy.

"It's just a perfume."

She pouted. "Sinabi mo naman agad."

I chuckled and scanned the whole place. The venue was just here in her house. There were a lot of people. She's like a celebrity throwing a party. I admit, she looks like one.

We're outside at the pool area. Everyone's having a good time. Some were drinking, dancing, making out, swimming at the pool in their bikinis. Some were rubbing their bodies with each other. They were wild! It's still afternoon but they're already wasted.

I looked at Lou's outfit and she's wearing a pink tube mini dress that's hugging her body. It emphasized her curves and wide hips. She's wearing a pink sparkling high heels. I also noticed that she got tanner. She has full face make-up on.

"Can you breath in that?" I asked while pointing her small dress

Her jaw dropped. "Excuse me? Of course. My waist is twenty four inches." She sounded offended.

"It looks...uncomfortable."

She smiled and held my shoulders. "Trust me, it's not."

I then forced a smile in response.

"You look gorgeous as well!" she complimented and poked my stomach

"Thanks," I said and looked at my outfit.

I'm wearing a silver long sleeves dress with a deep v neck. It's above my knee but I didn't feel uncomfortable. I'm also wearing silver jewelries, beige stiletto heels, and my silver clutch. I only applied minimal make-up. I put my hair in a tight bun. I'm used to wearing these type of clothes especially when partying.

"But since it's my birthday, I'm the star," she proudly said

I gave her a small smile. May mga dumating na panibagong bisita kaya agad niya itong pinuntahan. I watch her as she greet the other guests.

I started to walk around the place. Umiwas ako sa mga taong nagswiswimming pati narin sa pool. I suddenly found myself inside her house. It's been a while since I last visited her place. Hindi ko na maalala ang huli kong punta dito.

"Felicity. You're here."

Napalingon ako sa tumawag sa'kin. It was Lou's mother. I smiled when she came to me.

"Mrs. Valeria. It's so good to see you po," I greeted

Nakipag-beso siya sa'kin. "Good to see you too, my darling."

Even at her age, she looks young and beautiful. She's wearing a champagne dress that hugged her body. Her collarbones and cleavage are a bit exposed. She aged like fine wine. She was once a model afterall. I can already see Lou twenty years from now. Just like her mom..

"You still look gorgeous tita," I complimented

She chuckled and sipped on her glass. "Thank you Fey. You too, my daughter, you look lovely."

A waiter suddenly approached us. He offered me a glass of champagne. Kumuha ako ng isa. I thanked him before he left. I didn't know there were waiters serving drinks. Lou's birthday party is always lavish. That's why a lot of high class and rich people are only invited.

"Enjoy the party hija," ngiting sabi ni tita

I smiled back and nodded. Nilagpasan niya na ako at nakipag-usap sa ibang guests.

Naglibot ulit ako sa loob ng bahay. I passed some of her female friends whom I knew. They were all socialites. They greeted me and we had a little chitchat.

"What are taking up pala sa college?"

"Legal management. Sa Ateneo," sagot ko

"It must be so hard in law school then."

"How are you coping? Kaya pa ba?"

"How do you balance everything? I mean, you're out here partying."

"Di ba walang katapusang aral sa law school?"

I chuckled softly and swirled my glass. "Yes. It's hard. I couldn't explain it in words. I still have a social life. It's all about time management and you must know how to balance it."

They laughed awkwardly and nodded.

"Cheers?" they offered a toast

I smiled. "Cheers."

I went to the powder room to retouch my make-up. Pagkapasok ko ay walang tao. The room smells like a hotel. The lights were yellow and the walls painted in gold, so are the sink and faucet. I took out my red lipstick from my purse. I stared at the mirror as I apply.

Suddenly, I heard a flush from the toilet. Nakita kong may lumabas na babae galing doon. She went to the sink and started to wash her hands. Hindi ako sumulyap sa kanya.

"Fey?"

I stopped and slowly turned my head to the woman beside me. It was Jac.

She chuckled while looking at me. "Ikaw nga. I never thought I'd see you again."

My lips parted. "Jac..."

I eyed her from head to foot. Her gold tube dress was dirty. It looked like she puked in them. I can smell the stench of alcohol around her. Her hair was a mess too. Her make-up was smudged on her face. Kalat ang mascara at lipstick niya. Isa pa ay hindi niya suot ang kabiyak niyang high heels. Overall, she looks like shit. What the hell happened to this woman?!

"Are you alright-"

"I'm fine. I look like a mess but I'm fine. This is how I normally look when I'm wasted," she laughed

I blinked twice. 

Well, she has a point. I've seen her drunk but not like this. This is too much. She looks like she had just gone though a break up and she drowned herself in alcohol. 

I felt awkward at first since I remembered our issue before but it looks like she already moved on from it. Ang tagal na rin no'n.

"Anyway, what's up?" she smiled

"Uhm. I'm doing great. You?"

"Me? Oh, yeah. Never been better. Party all night everyday!" she laughed and threw her hands in the air

"Okay. Have fun!"

Aalis na sana ako pero bigla ulit siyang nagsalita.

"Nagbaon ka ba ng bikini?"

I turned to face her again. "Ah. No. I won't swim and I won't stay long. I still have to study after..."

She chuckled while staring at herself on the mirror. She started to wipe the mascara off her eye. "Still the same old Fey. Sipag talaga. You're taking up law right?"

I nodded. "Yes...how did you know?"

She sighed. "You're everywhere Fey."

Kumunot ang noo ko sa sinabi niya.

"You're always the talk of the town. Nakarating ka nga rin sa family ko. My mom even compares me to you. She always praise you and shower you with compliments kaysa sa'kin na sarili niyang anak. It's funny because we don't even go to the same school and we're not in the same age but fuck, it still hurts!"

I swallowed hard. "I don't get what you mean Jac."

She's acting really weird right now. Humarap siya sa'kin pero muntikan siyang matumba. I was about to help her but she shooed me away. Instead, she held to the sink for support.

She slowly lifted her eyes on me. "You...I hate you. We're both rich, born in a wealthy family, surrounded by influential people but why do I feel like, shit!" she yelled and gritted her teeth

"Calm down Jac-"

I slowly walked towards her but she backed away. Umiling siya habang turo ako.

"But you know what I have that you don't?" she smirked

I swallowed hard and tried to reach her. I noticed that she couldn't walk properly. Pagewang gewang ang katawan niya. Para siyang nanghihina. I looked at her eyes that's now red and tired. Observing her condition right now, it's like any minute, she'll collapse.

"You don't have real friends. You're just popular. People just get close to you because of your money, fame and looks," mariin niyang sabi

I clenched my fist as she continue to say harsh words in front of me. Get it together Fey. She's just drunk. Wala siya sa tamang pag-iisip.

"Jac. Please." And before I was able to say something, she suddenly collapsed on the floor.

My eyes widened in shock. Napakurapkurap ako habang nakatingin sa katawan niya sa sahig. I quickly knelt in front of her.

"Jac!" I called and tapped her cheeks. I placed her head on my thighs and continue to wake her up. "Jac!"

She's just drunk right? I don't know why but I stared to panic. I began to overthink. She still wouldn't wake up. I checked if she was still breathing. She still does but I can barely hear her pulse.

"Jac, wake up!" I yelled. I got closer to her face and smelled the alcohol on her mouth.

Dahan-dahan kong inalis ang ulo ni Jac sa hita ko. I stood up and immediately took my phone from my clutch purse. I didn't know which person to call. I clenched my fist to prevent it from shaking.

In the end, I dialed Lou's number. I didn't know if she's gonna answer. She's probably out there partying with everyone. Nabuhayan ako nung bigla siyang sumagot.

"Fey! Where are you? Get your ass in here. I'm about to blow the candles!"

"L-lou! It's uhm," I paused and shut my eyes. Minasahe ko ang ulo at nag-isip kung paano ko sasabihin sa kanya.

I looked down on Jac's unconscious body on the floor. My brows furrowed when I noticed something on her purse. It was lying on the floor, open. Something caught my attention.

"Hey Fey. You still there?"

Unti-unti kong binaba ang telepono sa tainga ko at lumapit sa purse niya. I knelt down and took it. My heart started pounding inside my chest. Bigla akong binalot ng kaba. My mind stared to play tricks on me.

I swallowed hard as I took the small plastic with shaking hands. My eyes widened upon seeing the white powder substance inside it.

Drugs