It has been a few days since the crash and I am relieved. I have finally been discharged from the hospital. Obviously, there are lingering aches and pains but they pale in comparison to the mental anguish of losing a race to a bastard that can't let go of the past. The past should stay in the past. I also managed to confront Lando about his desires to help me and it turns out he feels like it is his duty to protect me. For whatever reason, he hasn't told me why. I guess it has something to do with the texts that he sent me after the free practice. I am lucky that Zak and the PR team dealt with the fallout of the incident quite well. That means there is one less thing that I have to deal with. Right now I am at a cafe with Lando who seems a little restless. I put it down to the fact that he hasn't told me what is on his mind.

"I have something I need to tell you," Lando remarks. I see his hand move to the spot that drivers pretend to scratch on their necks.

"Go on," I prompt. Based on his action I assume he is trying to tiptoe around the issue. To be fair I can understand why.

"I think I have a crush on you," Lando blurts out. Now it is my turn for the sceptical look. I had the feeling that it was the case but now that I have the information I am not sure what to do. At least Lando confessed so I can see where our relationship takes us. The issue I have is the fact that I am not sure if I will be able to handle another break-up if anything happens between Lando and I. I can feel the awkwardness grow between us.

"Sorry if I made things awkward. I'm just letting you know," Lando now looks like a lost puppy. It almost makes me giggle.

"Don't worry it was my fault. My break-up with him was really bad. Plus I've always had trust issues," I explain. It is a byproduct of sponsors dropping me at the last second. I also have grown suspicious of people that are hiding things but that is another story entirely.

"Why don't you tell me about it. Maybe I can help you come out of your shell," Lando suggests. I find myself wincing at those words. It is due to the fact that Nikita said those words to charm me and boy did I fall for his act. I soon launch into the full story. It is the least that I can do.

I am nervous. Today is the day that I join the ranks of Formula 2. It has been a long journey but I am now one step closer to my ultimate goal. Getting into Formula 1. This is my chance to prove the doubters wrong. I am hoping that my new teammate can give me the respect that I deserve. Let's just say I have low expectations for a reason. I soon made it to the meeting room. The only person to beat me is my new teammate. He seems like he is happy to see me.

"Hello my name is Nikita Mazepin," He introduces himself. He sounds like someone who is all charm and no action. I hope he is not because I managed to punch the last guy that was all charm and no action. That guy was an utter loser in more ways than one.

"Niki Girard," I replied. With the introductions out of the way, I am now looking forward to the preseason stuff. It doesn't take long for the rest of the team to join us. After what feels like an hour of babble Nikita and I are finally dismissed to start work on the testing. It doesn't take long for us to hit the track. I am glad that I finally have a decent opportunity to prove myself. There is just one problem. I need to learn how to keep my reckless driving at bay.

"Niki, remember you can push the car as hard as you feel comfortable," My engineer announced via the radio.

"I know," I replied. Even though I have to go ahead I am not sure if I am confident enough. I just don't feel like I should anyway. It is not free practice. After forty-five minutes of driving, I have gotten all of the necessary data for the team. I soon head to the simulator to build my confidence up but I am stopped.

"Niki, you were a bit slow," Nikita remarks. Well duh, captain obvious.

Well, it is a new series for me," I retort.

"I'm going to get you out of your shell then," Nikita announces. Oh no. He is trying to use his charm on me. So long as he isn't all charm. After three months as teammates, I have fallen for him. It was the last thing that I wanted but it turned out he turned his words into action. Even then I don't trust him with my biggest secret. I feel like he will betray me if I tell him. I am currently feeling a little out of place as Nikita thought it would be a good idea to stay at his father's place for the duration of the Russian Grand Prix. At least Dmitry is open to the idea of having me around. I put it down to the fact that I have pushed Nikita to be a better driver. Nikita mutters something to his dad in Russian. Dmitry nods as if he is giving his son persimmon for something.

"Nik I have something I need to tell you," Nikita remarks as he starts gathering the dishes. I follow his lead since I am curious about what he has to say. He soon guides me to the kitchen.

"What do you need to tell me, Nikita?" I ask even though I could make a guess as to what he is telling me. Well, it is better to get the information from the source.

"I have developed feelings for you," Nikita says. I called it. I am glad that we have moved somewhere a little more private.

"Well...umm I may or may not have feelings for you as well," I reply. I am a little flustered because I thought the feelings were only a one-way thing. I feel like I am teasing the Russian but I really don't know how to handle the new information. It has been a couple of years since Nikita confessed and I am a little concerned. Nikita has grown distant. I am hoping that it is due to the fact that I have changed teams. I had to because I was always out of the points. Prema is giving me the chance to thrive as a driver. Maybe I am just being paranoid about my situation. I mean I have tried to make it work but my relationship with Nikita is not really getting anywhere. I was soon intercepted by my new teammate.

Hey, Niki, what's wrong?" my new teammate Mick Schumacher asks.

"Boyfriend issues. I'm thinking of leaving him but I think I am being paranoid," I tell him the simple version. I don't really want anyone else to fight my battles for me. We soon make it to the garage where I am able to focus on getting ready. The race should be a welcoming distraction in terms of my personal drama. After an hour of troubled racing and another hour of press stuff, I am about to head back to the hotel when I am stopped. Oh no. I can feel my heart shatter into a million pieces. Nikita is getting a little too friendly with one of his guests. I try my best to walk away but based on the sight I need to confront him now. Well here goes nothing.

"Nikita, what the hell are you doing?" I ask as I push my way between Nikita and the woman. I can feel the negative emotions explode.

"I can explain," Nikita gets to work on defending himself.

"No. You know what? I don't care. It's over," I retort. I should never have dated Nikita in the first place.

"But Nik-,"

"But nothing Nikita. You betrayed me and don't call me Nik," I snap, basically interrupting him. Nikita is lucky that I have the self-control not to hit him. I storm off before I can do any more damage. I really wanted to make our relationship work but Nikita has gone and thrown my hard work out of the window. Thankfully it doesn't take long for me to get back to the comfort of my hotel room. At least my day can't get any worse. I should have trusted my instincts about Nikita being all charm and no action.

"And that is why I'm not the most comfortable with having a relationship right now," I conclude my story. I am glad that I have told Lando about the rest of my personal drama. Even though I don't need him to fight my battles for me I feel better for telling him. I can feel Lando's puppy dog eyes telling me that it will be alright. I hope that I am reading his signals right. 

A/N the re-writes for this story are finally done. I would also like to thank everyone that has voted and/or commented on this story already. Please remember to continue if you are still enjoying it.