It has been a couple of weeks since the preseason testing. I am finding that I am settling in well with Mclaren. I am a little excited even though it is only the practice day. However, I get the feeling that it is about to change. I am currently walking through the paddock on the way to the media area. I am soon spotted by a familiar figure. I recognise the man as my adoptive father Jacques Villeneuve. He is the last person that I want to see now. Normally I wouldn't mind if he watched some of my races but that means I will have to explain my back story to at least Zak. At least I know how to tell someone.

"Hey, Niki, why don't you join us?" Jacques calls out. He is of course talking about the Mclaren mechanic that he is with.

"I'll join you soon. I have some interviews to do," I respond. I know that the media can't wait. At least Jacques knows the crazy nature of the sport being a former driver. I am quick to leave. My mind starts swirling with emotions. After thirty long minutes of various interviews, I have made it back to the McLaren motorhome. I need to find Jacques so I can talk to him.

"Dad I need to talk to you," I reply as I pull him somewhere with a little more privacy.

"What's wrong?" He replies as we make it to the right spot.

"I haven't told anyone in Mclaren about my past and I don't want them to find out until I am ready," I get my worries out. The thing is I have to tell someone eventually but it scares me. I have worked hard to get to where I am and I could possibly lose my seat. I guess I am just overreacting. It wouldn't surprise me.

"It's your story to tell, not mine," Jacques' response puts my mind at ease. He gives me a nod as we both leave. It has been another thirty minutes and everything is ready for me to start the practice round. I quickly get to work on getting in some good lap times. I am about to pass Nikita Mazepin with the aid of the blue flags but I am suddenly struck by a flashback. I soon come back to reality because I can feel the slight wobble in the car. I managed to recover well enough to get past Nikita.

"Niki are you alright?" my lead engineer uses the radio to check on me.

"Yeah. I'll be fine. I just lack confidence," I lie. The thing is I managed to recover well so I know I can get away with lying. Hopefully, it won't become a common thing. At least I didn't lose control of the car. Then there would have been questions. I take a deep breath as I pull my concentration on the job ahead. I just need to make it through the practice before I break down. After thirty long minutes, the practice has come to an end and I am glad. I go to grab something to eat but I am stopped.

"Niki are you alright?" Lando checks on me. At least Lando is trying to be caring. I just can't bring myself to spill my guts to him.

"Yeah. I'm just lacking confidence," I tell him the same lie I told my lead engineer. God, I hate lying. I just want to hurry up and be ready so I can stop lying. After three more hours of work, the day has come to a close. I am currently in my hotel room. I have finally let the negative emotions out. I am trying to calm myself down but nothing I can do works so I give up. I find myself falling asleep to the sound of my own whimpering.

I am currently heading home from one of the most fun go-karting races of the season. I don't know why my mum and dad are having a debate because it was fun and that's all that matters. My dad reckons I should go professional but my mum isn't convinced.

"Well, I think she can make it to single-seaters once she competes internationally. She is going places. I am telling you," My dad gives his best argument.

"We should sit down and have a talk with her when we get home. It's Niki's choice," My mum replies. The debate ended abruptly. I can feel the force of another car hitting our car. The next thing I know I am awake in the hospital with a sharp pain in my leg. At the end of my bed is my dad's best friend, Jacques Villeneuve. He is currently engaged in an argument with the doctor.

"Someone needs to tell her and it should be you," the doctor is being insistent which can't be a good thing.

"Tell me what?" I announce. I am confused since I only just woke up. Jacques takes a deep breath. It's not good news.

"I'm sorry but your parents didn't make it," Jacques replies. He is looking me in the eyes which means he is being serious. He soon tells me the full story.

I jolt awake. My breath is rapid and I am drenched in a cold sweat. Dang, it. Why couldn't my past stay in the past? I roll over to check the time. I am annoyed. I have two hours before I have to get out of bed. I could stay in bed and check what is going on, on my phone. Instead, I have decided to go for a run to clear my mind. I need to get rid of the nightmare. It did feel more like a flashback but I am no expert. I quickly got some exercise gear on. I pick the most uplifting music I have on my playlist as I set out. After two hours of mindlessly running, I have made it back to my room. I have to get ready for an interesting day. It will be my first round of qualifying in a Formula 1 car. Thankfully I am quick to finish up in the shower. I find myself looking at the scar on my leg. It serves as a reminder of what could have been. After five minutes of pondering my place in Formula 1, I made it to the lobby.

"Good morning Lando," I greeted my teammate.

"Hey, Niki. I'm guessing you didn't sleep well," Lando replies. Is it that obvious? I try to tell him but instead my mouth spurts out another lie.

I did not. I'm still a bundle of nerves," The thing is I know I can trust Lando. Unlike my Ex, he has not betrayed me yet. Of course, yet is the keyword.

"Lying is not going to get you anywhere," Lando finally speaks up. Thank you Captain Obvious.

"I know Lando but I have some personal drama going on and I can't bring myself to tell anyone about it," I reply. I am glad that Lando called me out on it. I can feel the guilt setting its way in. It is due to the fact that I shouldn't even be here. It was a miracle that I was able to walk properly. Well, I have proven the doubters wrong for now.

"Ok. Well if you want to talk about it I'll be happy to listen," Lando gives me a supportive pat on my shoulder. I find some comfort in the gesture.

"Thank you, Lando," I responded with the little bit of enthusiasm I could muster. Maybe I should tell him now. Nah I'll leave it till after the race. There is no point in adding stress to his weekend. It doesn't take us long to reach the paddock. After two hours of media commitments, I am finally ready to start the qualifying rounds. I take a deep breath as I pull myself into the car. I get to work on setting some good lap times. So long as I don't do something stupid I'll be fine. After forty-five minutes of driving, I find myself impressed. I am on my last lap for Q3. I feel like I am comfortably in P6. I may be guessing a little low but I won't know unless my engineer relays the information.

"Niki, your P5 behind Lando," As if he was reading my mind, my engineer gives me the information I need via the radio. Well, That went better than I expected. I soon bring the car back to the garage. As soon as I get out of the car I check the timesheets to see where the other rookies have come. Lando was right. I am in the best position of any of them. I just have to deal with my personal drama. It is the day after and I am currently talking to Jacques. He seems a little concerned. I mean he has been for the past fourteen years.

"Just remember that you have already proven yourself," Jacques takes the time to remind me of something that I already know.

"I know I don't need to but nothing is going to stop me from trying," I respond. My voice is laced with optimism. I just have to get past Lando and Valteri Bottas to take my first ever Formula 1 podium. I don't need a win till later on in the season.

"That's my girl," Jacques says. I can hear the pride in his voice. The thought puts a smile on my face. After ten minutes of talking to Jacques, I am getting ready. I am trying to focus on my pre-race playlist. The weird thing is I don't use it before practice or qualifying. I shake the thought since I need the music to clear my thoughts. I am relieved about the fact that I am quick to clear my mind. I am soon interrupted by a tap on my shoulder. It's Lando. I pause my music and take my headphones off so I can pay attention to what he has to say.

"Niki, I just wanted to make sure that you are ok," Lando says. I am not sure why he would check on me but I am glad he did.

" I think I'm fine. Before I forget I want you to give me a challenge," I responded. I notice a slight smile on his face as he leaves. I am guessing that it is his plan. After five minutes of waiting the tension is at an all-time high. I put it down to the fact that it is the first race of the season. Three...two...one. I find myself counting down as the lights come on. It's lights out. I don't quite get the start that I want so that means I will be defending my position right away. At least I know that Carlos Sainz is a fair opponent. A tussle for fifth soon breaks out between Carlos and I. I am lucky that I am able to hold on to my place. After fifteen minutes I can see that Carlos has backed off. I turn my attention to getting past Lando. I take a deep breath as I get myself in the right position for the overtake on Lando. After two minutes of waiting, I managed to pull off the manoeuvre. I feel like it was too easy but it is still a place gained.

"Niki, you are a tenth of a second behind Valtteri. You can overtake him if you feel comfortable," My engineer gives me the news that I want.

"I'll see what I can do," I reply. I may sound confident on the radio but I am not sure that I can do it. I don't see why I can't do it. I reign in my hesitation and I force it out as determination. Prove the doubters wrong. What better way to prove myself than overtaking the most dominant car in Formula 1. I pulled off one of the most interesting maneuvers. I do a dummy lunge to the outside which creates a bigger gap on the inside where I sneak past Valtteri to take third. After an hour of driving the race has come to an end. I am exhausted. I have had to keep one of the better drivers behind me.

"Congratulations Niki, that is P3," comes the announcement. If only I didn't have my helmet on then he would see the grin on my face. I bring the car to a stop in the Parc-Ferme area. After a few remarks for the media, I am in the cool-down room with Max Verstappen and Lewis Hamilton. I feel a little out of place as a rookie. It is making it a little awkward.

"Hey, kid. You don't have to worry. You did well," Lewis compliments me. I am stunned. A legend complimented me. A rookie. However, I am hit by a sting of grief. The sudden realisation that the one person that made it possible is not here to see my small victory.

"Thank you, Lewis," I say. It doesn't take long for the ceremony to begin. After the British national anthem comes to a close I am showered in Champagne. I try to return the favour but I only have one bottle. I start wondering if I am the only female to get a podium in Formula 1. I'll have to do my research later. After thirty minutes of media stuff, I am getting ready to leave. I am stopped.

"Hey Niki," A familiar Japanese accent calls out to me. I know who it is instantly.

"What can I do for you, Yuki?" I turn around to face him.

"Mick and I are going to party once the media stuff dies down. Do you want to join us?" Yuki asks. I wasn't going to celebrate tonight since I am feeling completely buggered but since it will be with friends I might as well. The celebrations will hopefully cheer me up. I just want to enjoy myself with my friends.