<Recap:>

Maybe staying in this club isn't a bad choice.....
It's my only way back to work.
Plus.....the people here aren't that bad.

<End of Recap>

Max's POV

"Really? All the afternoon classes have been...cancelled?", Haruhi asked.

"That seems inconvenient for a lot of people." I said.

"You mean, no one told you two?", one girl asked.

"It's going to be crazy around here for the next two days", another girl added.

"Ouran is hosting an exposition for the cultural clubs, drama, and choir clubs for a lot of other schools have been invited", the first girl said.

"It's a big event the school hosts annually", the second girl commented.

"Is that so?", Haruhi asked.

"Seems like a waste of time to me. That'll only cut back on the time I spend with you ladies." I look towards them and they squeal. What? I have to do this crap you know? It's part of hosting stuff.

"What?! You've never tried it?!", the Twins asked a cornered, nervous looking Renge.

"Didn't anyone tell you that it's the preferred drink of the Host Club?", Hikaru asked.

"And you are our manager, so you should drink it too", Kaoru added.

"Um-well, I-I think I've heard of instant coffee before", Renge said. "Oh! That's right! Isn't that when the coffee beans have already been ground for you?" The Twins made a buzzing noise.

"That's just ground coffee. Instant is something completely different. I don't even think there are any coffee beans in instant coffee. You just mix this powder with hot water and drink it! You don't have to brew it! It's pretty awesome", Hikaru explained.

"So, basically just like coffee, but not as robust", Kaoru said.

"And, yet, it's strangely satisfying", Hikaru commented in a daze.

"Now that you mention it, we just ran out of it, didn't we?", Kaoru asked. The Twins approached Haruhi and I from behind and placed a hand on one of my shoulders each.

"Go buy us some more, Max", they said.

"Why do I have to go get it?", I asked with an irk mark as the Twins pampered me a little to try and win her over.

"Because you and Haruhi are the only commoners. No one else knows where to buy it", Hikaru pointed out.

"We've even been serving it to our guests lately. Besides, it's part of your job", Kaoru added.

"But the cultural club exposition starts soon", Haruhi said. They ignored her and picked me up and carried me to the door. "And they ignore me as usual."

"Yeah, but it's not mandatory, so if you're not interested you don't have to go", Hikaru said.

"And, with that being said--", Kaoru began.

"--be careful out there!", they finished in unison as they waved. I unsteadily leaned over on a pillar.

"Thanks for helping them out, Max", a passing girl said.

"No problem. I just wish they'd buy their own instant coffee", I said as she sulked a little.

"Well, I don't know if that'll ever happen, but I'm glad they seem to be having a good time. And that's all thanks to you and Haruhi, but mostly you.", the other girl commented. I looked at them with slightly wide eyes.

"All thanks to mostly me?", I asked.

"We've been in the same class with the Twins ever since middle school. They didn't used to be this cheerful and friendly. They were always quiet and withdrawn. They didn't have many friends. It's like they didn't want anyone to get too close. I don't think they liked school very much. They seemed so bored by it. I guess things started to change when the Host Club was created. Since then, they've come out of their shells little by little", the girl explained as I looked back at the laughing Twins.

"Really?", I asked.

"But they've really opened up since you and Haruhi joined the Host Club", the girl continued.

"Now they talk and joke with everyone in class", the other added.

"That's why we wanted to make sure you knew how grateful we are to you. Because of you, the Twins are having fun and enjoying each day to the fullest", the first girl said.

~Magical Time Skip~

I walked back through the gates of the academy with a bag full of containers of instant coffee in my arms. I continued to walk until I stepped over a banana peel. I turned around thanks to my intuition and a girl with short hair wearing a different uniform slipped, I dropped the coffee and caught her. She glared at me and I sat her down. "You almost hurt yourself. Try not to do it again. Usually no one is around here during school hours unless it's opening or closing time.", I said. Her eyes widened and she spoke.

"What? No flirting? You're a guy."

"So? That doesn't mean I'll flirt with a complete stranger. I'm not that low."

"I see. You're the first one to do that. Come with me young man, I'm intrigued by you."

"Wha-" I asked confused before she grabbed my hand and started dragging me. I grabbed the bag of instant coffee and let her drag me. Sometimes I hate myself for putting me in these situations.

Third Person POV

Two girls in the same uniform marched through the halls to Music Room 3. "This looks like the place", the one with long hair said. The girl with short hair hummed in agreement. They opened the door and saw all the hosts in either knights armor or dressed as a musketeer.

"Welcome, ladies~", they all chimed. Tamaki lifted his sword to point skyward across from his face.

"Well, well, well. I see you ladies are from another school", he said. "I certainly hope we haven't startled you. We love first-time guests." He lowered his sword and approached the two girls. They weren't smiling or squealing. Not even blushing the tiniest bit. "I'm glad you've come, princesses. My darlings, even if the world were to be destroyed, I'd put my life on the line as your faithful knight and servant." He had a hand toward the sky before kneeling on one knee before them. "I will protect you."

"Oh, my. Do you really think you'll be able to protect us? That's awfully arrogant of you, wouldn't you agree? You think that's what a woman wants to hear? Well, you're wrong", the long-haired girl said with a smirk as Tamaki looked up at her.

"Come on, give him a break, sister Suzuran", the short-haired girl said. "Men are just lowly lifeforms who don't care about anything other than perpetuating their testosterone leading image. By 'protecting' us, he's actually trying to disguise the fact that he is weak and unable of even protecting himself."

"You're such a clever girl, Hinagiku", she said. Tamaki stood up and smiled as he looked at them and tapped his sword against his shoulder.

"Don't you think that's a little harsh? Fine, then. What do women like you want to hear?", he asked.

Max's POV

"Maybe something like 'I would never leave my lover alone.'", another voice said. Tamaki looked up to see who it was only to see another girl in the same uniform as the two in front of him with me. All the hosts blinked in confusion. "'If we fight, it'll be together. If we fail, we fail together. Even if I were to die, I promise you that I will never leave your side, my love." The girl twirled me around before kneeling before me and kissed my hand.

"Benibara. We thought you'd never show", Hinagiku said.

"What are we going to do with you? So tell us where you found this male", Suzuran said. Benibara stood up and faced them.

"I just met him outside of the school. He may be a male, but not once did he try to flirt with me or put himself above me.", she said and dipped me down. "He has a truly kind heart."

"Uh, thanks I guess", I said uncomfortably. The other two began feeling my skin.

"Wow! His skin is incredibly soft for a guy!", Hinagiku exclaimed.

"Isn't it though? I think this one's going to be a little diamond in the rough", Suzuran said as she rubbed her cheek against my shin. Tamaki approached them angrily.

"DON'T GO TOUCHING MY MAX WITHOUT ASKING MY PERMISSION!!", he said. As he got close, Benibara punched him with an irk mark on her forehead.

"Leave him alone! Plus what do you mean? Are you a homosexual for this boy? I thought you hosted girls. How pathetic.", she said. Tamaki moved backwards on the floor while holding his cheek and pointing at her with tears in his eyes. I stood up but the girls held me back and I couldn't hurt them, but I wanted to kill that lady for hurting Tamaki.

"SHE PUNCHED ME!!", he said in a shaky voice. "She's so violent!"

"Get a hold of yourself!", Honey said to him. The three girls approached them, and I helped Tamaki up.

"Guess the rumors we heard are true. You guys are just a bunch of weak little punks with no sense between you", Benibara said. Kyoya pushed up his glasses.

"Those uniforms. I assume you ladies are from the Lobelia Girls' Academy", he said.

"That's correct", she said. Suddenly, they threw their uniforms off and a spotlight landed on Benibara, kneeling on the floor in a different outfit. She stood up. "Lobelia~!" As she sang the school's name, another spotlight shown on Suzuran. She was in a new outfit as well.

"Lobelia~!", she sang and a final spotlight shown on Hinagiku, who was in a different outfit as well.

"Lobelia~!", she sang. They all struck a new pose.

"St. Lobelia Academy. Highschool second year. Benio", Benibara introduced herself with a flower in her mouth.

"Lobelia~!", they all sang.

"Second year student. Suzuran", Suzuran said.

"Lobelia~!", they sang again.

"First year student. Hinagiku", Hinagiku said.

"Lobelia~!", they sang again.

"We are the members of the St. Lobelia Academy's White Lily League. Also known as, The Zuka Club!" They were in knew outfits once again. Tamaki had gone white as the other hosts just looked at the Zuka Club. Tamaki fell over as the Twins burst into laughter. Tamaki stood back up and kept asking me if I was okay and if they did anything to me.

"Man, what a stupid name!", Hikaru said as he laughed. "The Zuka Club! My stomach hurts!"

"The Zuka Club! That's priceless! And they had those getups on under their uniforms!", Kaoru said as they continued to laugh.

"You shouldn't underestimate the Zuka Club!", Renge's voice called out before she laughed and a powerful motor started. A platform rose up from the ground with her on it. "I may not know much about instant coffee, but I'm fascinated with girls' schools." She took a drink of the instant coffee and it seemed like she wanted to hurl. "St. Lobelia Academy. It is truly a woman's world there. The Zuka Club is a group of strong young maidens who consider women to be superior in every way. The club prides itself on its 30 year history. It's a society of maidens by maidens for maidens. Zuka Club activities include maiden tea parties, the maiden debate forum, and most importantly musical reviews performed by the society's top members." Kyoya had changed from his armor to his uniform and sat his armor down.

"You sure have a vast world of knowledge, Renge", he commented.

"Well, I've always admired St. Lobelia. I just couldn't go to school there though. What would I do without my boys?", she asked as the platform sank again.

"A maiden's beauty. It means possessing a spirit pure enough to not give in to power or to lust", Suzuran said.

"As a girl you for a girl you. We've had quite enough of all your oppressive male contempt for womankind", Hinagiku said.

"And our pride comes from having meaningful relationships based on equality. Because we're the same sex. And, yes, that includes relationships of love", Benibara said.

"Yeah, you tell them, Benio", Suzuran said.

"You're awesome, Benibara!", Hinagiku said. Kyoya read while Mori swung a sword, Kaoru looked through the bag of instant coffee I gave him, Hiakru played video games, and Honey watched Hikaru. Haruhi took over my place and tried to calm Tamaki down.

"Whatever. We're so over it", Kaoru said.

"Why don't you gals just scram?", Hikaru asked.

"I find it hard to believe that you silly boys have nothing to say about our sublime female love", Hinagiku said and laughed.

"What the hell is she talking about?", Hikaru asked.

"Hey, I haven't seen this one before", Kaoru said as he looked at one of the containers. "I guess it's a new one."

"You should feel sorry for them, Hinagiku. Their patented host skills don't work on us, now they're all flustered and don't know what to do with themselves", Suzuran said. Benibara took off her fake mustache.

"True. I must say, I'm glad we decided to perform here. It was fun to sneak a peek at the notorious Ouran Host Club", she said.

"Hey, guys, are we really notorious?", Honey asked the others.

"Yeah", Mori said.

"Well if you think we're stupid, what're you doing with Max?" Haruhi asked.

"Yes, after all, Max is one of our top performing hosts." Kyoya states and the Zika Club looks at me while I'm looking through the coffee with Kaoru.

"He's a host?!"

"I can't believe it!"

"The pure soul will be tainted if he stays here!"

"Wait what?" I asked confused hearing them. Benibara turned back to me.

"And to think they're dragging this pure young man down with them", she said. I gave her a confused look and Benibara turned back to the others two girls. "The Host Club's president may be a pretty little halfer, but he shouldn't be using his looks to create a fictitious romance! Attempting to fool the heart of a pure young man is demeaning! Your so-called club activities are nothing more than debasing macho fantasies. I promise you, we will bring you guys down. The Ouran Host Club will be abolished."

"All hail Zuka Club!", they said and saluted as if they were Nazi's from World War 2. Kyoya pushed his glasses up.

"I see. I understand your concern, but do you think maybe we could finish this later?", Kyoya asked.

"Are you saying that you're not going to face us?", Benibara asked.

"Not at all", Kyoya said. The hosts then gestured to a now sleeping Tamaki. "It's just that our president is still bedridden from the initial culture shock."

"You see, Tama-chan is having his nappy time right now", Honey said.

"WAKE HIM UP!!", Benibara said. Haruhi approached the girls with a tray with three cups on it.

"Excuse me. I made some coffee. Would you ladies like to have some?", Haruhi asked. The Zuka Club's eyes widen and start being nice to Haruhi.

"Why, yes. Aren't you the sweetest thing. What's a young maiden like you doing in this dreadful club?", Benibara said and they each took a cup.

"H-How did you know?" Haruhi asks confused.

"So is it just me or are they stupid?" Hikaru whispers in my ear.

"Huh?" I ask.

"They're able to tell Haruhi is a girl, but they think you're a guy?"

"Just so you know, it took you guys 15 chapters to figure it out, and I told you that I was a girl." I whispered back.

"True true." Hikaru nods and ruffles my hair. I turn my attention back to the Lobelia girls and Haruhi.

"You're a real pearl among swine", Suzuran added.

"You know, coffee made by a maiden always a more fragrant aroma", Benibara said.

"But this stuff's just instant", Haruhi pointed out.

"How about the five of us have a little tea party?", Hinagiku asked pulling me over to them. Tamaki cracked his eyes opened and grouchily sat up and pushed the covers off himself.

"YOU GIRLS HAVE IT ALL WRONG!! DON'T YOU SEE THERE'S NOTHING TO BE GAINED IN A ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN TWO WOMEN?! IF THAT WERE THE CASE, THEN WHY DID GOD CREATE HARMONY?!", Tamaki asked as he ran towards them angrily until he slipped on a banana peel and accidentally dipped his hand in one of the cups of coffee. He quickly jumped back, waving his red finger around while making strange noises before falling his knees. "Hot, hot, hot!" I sighed, grabbed some bandages from my pockets, and knelt down to look at his burnt finger.

"You gotta be more careful, Tamaki", I said as I bandaged his finger. He looked down at his finger.

"Thanks, Max. Do you always carry bandages around with you?", he asked as he looked at me. I smiled.

"Nah. The supermarket was giving them out with the purchase of instant coffee. You always get free stuff at the supermarket", I replied.

"Free stuff?", Tamaki asked.

"This little conversation doesn't seem to be going anywhere", Benibara said as she stood behind me with Haruhi's wrist in one hand. She reached down and snatched my wrist with her other hand, pulling me up. "Now that we know what's going on, we can't allow this maiden and gentleman to stay here! We'll prepare his and her paperwork and have them transferred to St. Lobelia at once. And will welcome them into the Zuka Club!" Everyone's eyes widened and I pulled away from her and I pulled Haruhi away from her.

"H-Hey, just wait a second, will ya? There seems to have been some misunderstandings here. I mean, first of all, you called Senpai a halfer", Haruhi said.

"'Cause he is a halfer. He's half French, half Japanese!", Honey said with a smile. Haruhi sweat dropped, but comtinued to smile.

"Well, uh, anyway, I don't think it's far for you to pick on the Host Club just because you don't think they have the same history as you do", I said.

"We barely have any history. We were just founded two years ago", Hikaru said.

"Yeah, the Boss created it when he started highschool here", Kaoru pointed out. Haruhi sighed and her smile disappeared.

"Be that as it may, saying their club activities are only held to satisfy their appetites is just wrong. I mean, it's not like the Host Club is charging their guests or anything", Haruhi said.

"Well, I wouldn't call it a charge. We do have a point system. We offer priority services based on the winning bids of auctions held on our website. Check this out, Haruhi", Kyoya said. "Your used mechanical pencil just sold with a winning bid of 30,000 yen. Good for you. And Max, the towel you wiped your sweat off with one day sold for 40,000 yen."

"What?! But I thought I lost that pencil!! Why didn't you tell me about this before, Kyoya-senpai?!", Haruhi asked angrily. "I had no idea you were collecting money!"

"What the?! You can't just sell things I use!" I tell angrily.

"So you thought we were all just working here as volunteers?", he asked. "While it's not much because of the expense of organizing events, we happen to make a small profit from the online auctions."

"You can't sell other people's things without asking permission! THAT'S STEALING!!", Haruhi said.

"It wasn't stealing. You dropped that pencil on the floor", the Twins said. Haruhi glared at them and Tamaki came up to her, crying.

"I'M SORRY, HARUHI! IT'S NOT LIKE WE WERE HIDING IT FROM YOU! HERE, YOU CAN HAVE MINE! IT'S GOT A CUTE TEDDY BEAR ON IT!", he said.

"Senpai, I don't want your pencil", she said.

"Then, to make it up to you, how about I do this? I'll tell you the secrets to my success and my fondest memories!", he said and gestured into the air.

"Not to be rude, Senpai, but I'm not really interested in that information", she said. He looked at her in horror, as if he'd just seen the most terrifying and shocking thing. His eyes were white and his mouth hung open.

"Not to mention you sold a cloth with my sweat on it! That's just weird!" I said to Kyoya. Tamaki came running to me.

"Max, it's not like you were going to use it again right? Well to make it up to you I'll tell you about my fondest memories instead!"

"Tamaki, that's like telling me you want Haruhi to listen and not me. So no thanks, I'm not interested either."

"Not...interested?", he asked. He went to the wall to sulk.

"Oh, you poor dears. I can't believe they've been deceiving you two", Suzuran said.

"Hey, why don't you just dump these losers and come with us? Max, you can be the first and only male at Lobelia if you join the Zuka club", Hinagiku asked.

"Hold on, Hinagiku. The young maiden and gentleman have had quite a day. We'll give you some time to think about it. We'll come back for your answer tomorrow", Benibara said. "Well, then, adieu." The three girls giggled as they twirled away. Haruhi turned to the hosts with a glare. I turned around and gave them a glare that could kill.

"I'd better be going. I've got some thinking to do", she said. They all sweat dropped while Kyoya just took pictures. Haruhi turned and walked out of the room. I sighed and Tamaki jumped up, crying.

"WHY DID YOU HAVE TO TELL HER THE TRUTH?! YOU JUST ADDED FUEL TO THE FIRE!! AND MAX PLEASE FORGIVE US!! WE DIDN'T MEAN TO MAKE YOU MAD!!", Tamaki said while doing his strange and random hand gestures.

"I'm not mad. Just don't do it again without my consent." I sighed.

"The facts are the facts", Kyoya said.

"Maybe we should've asked before we sold her pencil on the internet", Honey said.

"Yeah. For all we know, it was a keepsake from her mother", Kaoru said.

"Nah, it was just a freebie they were giving out at an electronics store", Hikaru said.

"Gentlemen, just think about it. Haruhi may be basically indifferent, but if she had to choose we know she tends to favor mens clothing", Tamaki said while looking out a window. "And, besides, when she first joined the Host Club, didn't she tell us 'Being a host and getting fussed over by a bunch of girls might not be that bad.'? ....Why didn't I realize this before? Perhaps they would be a better match for Haruhi. Maybe she'd be better off...with the...Zuka Club. And you Max, you practically hate being a host, everything you do as one is an act. So maybe...it's the better option for you as well. Plus you're a girl and you'd be able to be one there...." This seemed to make sense to the others and they didn't seem to like it either.

"Guys..." I say but they ignore me and they get even more worried.

"Yeah. She's perfect for a girls' school", Kaoru said. Honey started to cry.

"Haru-chan and Max-chan are going to transfer away?!", he asked.

"Guys."

"What are we going to do?!", Hikaru asked.

"Haruhi's so smart passing Lobelia's scholarship test will be a piece of cake! Plus I'm pretty sure Max's scholarship applies to any school she wants!", Kaoru pointed out.

"AND Lobelia Academy has the money to pay off the 8,000,000 yen debt she owes us", Kyoya added.

"GUYS!" I yell and all eyes are on me. "I have no intention of transferring to Lobelia Academy. I have my own reasons for being at Ouran. I don't know about Haruhi though." I say and all of them sigh in relief and the Twins hug me.

"But that means Haru-chan might leave still....." Honey sniffles.

"Calm down, gentlemen. It'll be all right. Listen to what I have to say!", Tamaki said. He turned to them. "I have a secret plan." I face palm at his words.

You have got to be kidding me.....
This will not go well.