Gilbert's POV

" 1...2...1,2,3!"  Pangumpisang bilang ni Lance kasabay nang paghampas niya.

"  'Pag automatic na ang luha. Tuwing naghahating-gabi--"

" Bro! Lance... The drums. Kinda shaky!" Suway ni Vincent. Tiningnan ko kaagad si Lance na nakatulala na lang sa drums.

" Lance, hey! May problema ba?" I went to his front and asked him. I've never seen him like this.

" Nothing, bros. Let's restart again instead. Sumimasen!"

" You sure?" I asked to him. Waiting for the answer.

" Yeah!"

I tapped his shoulder and went back to my place.

Taya, my bandmate, the vocalist of the band,  resumed. "Pag imposibleng mapatawa--"

Until someone knocked on the door. It was loud that made us stopped from playing again. I shook my head and getting frustrated because we were not finalizing this song yet.

I opened it and nakita ko si Angel. " Hi, babe!" She greeted while eating a donut.

" Simula na ulit tayo." Taya interrupted and she looked annoyed. I don't know why. " And also... Angel, bawal kumain dito!" 

" Who said?" Angel raised her brow and had a bite.

" Bitch?!" Taya replied to her and I can feel that she was annoyed now.

Lance suddenly dragged Angel, going to the outside.

" Uh... Sundan ko lang sila, bro!" Vincent took down his guitar, tapped my shoulder and closed the music room's door.

" Anong nangyari sa kanila? We have 2 days left!" Taya crossed her arms.

Yea! We have 2 days left for the Battle of the bands. And also we will perform that during foundation day.

" Let's just do this," I said. " Give me a one piece and you will sing two."

" B-Bakit?"

" Battle of the bands is approaching and also we're only completing a one song," I gave her a frustrated smile. " Baka mahirapan ka pa."

" A-Ako? Mahihirapan?" She chuckled. " Pero... ayos lang ba 'yun sa'yo?"

I gave him a nod. " Yea!"

Minutes passed and we started again from practicing the Elesi, our first piece. Angel was now staying here. Taking pictures.

And I felt something vibrating in my pocket. It was my darling, calling me. I suddenly stopped while they were still playing.

[ O-Okay, then! Just do your best bye.] My brows furrowed. Why she just ended the call early? Taya was looking at me, the stares are asking me if I'm fine.

I just gave her a smile and we resumed the practice.

The competition between the bands was already starting. I just received a message coming from my darling that made me smile. I thought she was mad at me.

I sighed and toured my eyes to the Novaleños who were enjoying the Foundation Day. I was still finding Natasha, but she was nowhere to be found.

" Bro, ang galing nila!" Vincent panicked while were beside of the stage, waiting for our turn. A band was playing and after they will play, we are the next one. " Shocks! Nadaan ata sa mukha."

" Oh my god, babe! You can do that. You all are much better than them 'no!" Angel interrupted Vincent from doubting. I just shook my head and of course, I'm still that nervous though. With that, I'm still looking for my darling. Where was she?

" Uhm! Guys! May naisip ako," Taya informed us while I'm still thinking where was Natasha. Natasha can only calm my nerves.

" Gilbert... ayos lang ba sa'yo?" She tapped my shoulders many times pero ngayon lang nabaling yung atensyon ko. I'm just thinking of her that much.

I glazed my sight to Taya. " Pardon?"

" Pwede bang hawakan kita? Kahit sa shoulders lang? I mean... you know... audience impact?" She smiles awkwardly and played with her fingers.

" Hey... Taya. May girlfriend na kasi si Gilbert," Vincent interrupted when I looked seriously. What was she thinking? "Hindi mo pa ba alam 'yon?"

" Wala naman si... ano ulit name? Natasha ba? Wala naman siya eh." She sarcastically looking around at the court and I just shook my head.

" This is your special day diba? Then wala siya! How can she be your 'girlfriend' if she wasn't supporting you," She added to me that made me overthink. I was just distracting myself by looking around, hoping that my darling will be there. I also said that I will not gonna break my darling's trust to me.  " Hays! It's a simple touch lang naman. And also, girls are always screaming loudly if they will saw you, right?"

I sticked my tongue inside my cheeks, Is this a simple touch only? " Fin--" I stopped when Angel interrupted me.

" Do not fucking touch my babe. Or else, I will slice and dice and cut your grown nails if you will do it!" Angel shouted because of the loud cheers of the Novaleños who were screaming. " Don't test me, you bitch!"

Taya suddenly stepped back her tongue from saying a word again.

We were now performing again and I saw my darling with her bestfriends. I just shook my head because Angel was filming us. Me being a nervous guitarist before our performance became a confident when I saw my darling who was enjoying our piece. I even sang 'With a Smile' and dedicated it to her. I am that attached to Natasha.

My brows immediately furrowed when I saw them walking away while Taya was singing 'Magasin'. That made me frowned the whole time. I even don't think of anyone else and I just statued at that time.

The competition was already done and we were at the parking lot, beside the flag stand. " Did you see her?" I asked Angel who was leaning at my car. Why did she run away?

" Who? Natasha?" She replied to me while swiping at her phone. I just gave her a nod.

" Babe!" She shouted at Lance who was in his car too. " Bye! We will just gonna pick up Trix!" She suddenly replied to me while getting inside of Lance's car.

" And also... I didn't see her." The last thing she added to me and they gone away.

We were inside now of my car. Vincent's was on the shotgun seat while Taya was on the back. Actually, Vincent insisted to sit beside at me.

" Bro, Congrat's!" Vincent stayed his palm on the air. I'm still asking myself why Natasha left so early? Why didn't she even wait for me? I am clueless.

" Oh, sabi ko nga!" He let out a chuckle and placed his palm on his knees instead as I looked to the side mirror.

" We should celebrate our... win?--" Taya asked and Vincent stopped her by making 'shh'.

" Galit ata siya," He whispered at the back. " 'wag muna natin istorbohin. Baka mamaya ma-deds pa tayo. Siya pa naman driver."

" Ha? Hindi ko maintindihan? Dahil ba sa hinawakan ko siya kanina?" She asked now that made me stopped pressing the gas.

" Did you touch me?!" My brows furrowed while looking at the front mirror.

" Sabi ko sayo eh..." Vincent slowly turned around his head going to the front. " Hindi kasi nakikinig."

" Wait lang, ha. I just want to clear it," I added. Is this why Natasha left early? " Did you touch me?"

" Hey! Bro... kalma lang. May plano pa 'ko sa aking buhay. I will just text Ashley na lang okay?" Vincent mentioned and took his phone.

My jaws were being aggressive while I continued driving. Minutes passed, I took Vincent to his house.

" Thanks bro!" Vincent tapped my shoulders and went inside to his house.

While we were spanning, going to Taya's, " I'm sorry for what I have said earlier."

" Ha?" She asked to me. " Ayos lang 'yun 'no!"

I chuckled and focused myself to driving.

" Cause our love was fucked up, I guess!" My darling mentioned to me that made me stopped from driving. This can't be! She was only a drunk! I bit my cheeks, holding back my tear.

I checked her if she had a wound because of my fault.

" So you care?" She asked to me that made my chest punched.

" I always do." Diretso kong sagot sa kaniya na may halong pangamba pa rin. I just want to understand clearly on what was happening, but she was drunk.

" Why the fuck it hurts when you're with her?" She asked to me and I felt guilty. " Why the fuck it hurts when a simple touch makes me angry?" Two sentences that completely bangs my heart.

" You don't have trust on me?" I asked to her, calmly, even though I am seeing her crying, it makes me panicked and hurt.

When we came to her home, I asked her if I could drop her but she replied nothing and went outside of the car. I immediately punched the seat. " I really didn't mean it." I whispered inside.

I reached my phone inside the mini-compartment. " Bro." I fake laughed.

" Oh, bakit? gago?"

" Backout." Tipid kong sagot habang humihigpit yung hawak ko sa manibela.

" Gago? Anong backout?!" He asked, confused. " Weh? Gago!? Hindi nga?! Ah... Nag-away ba kayo-- Shet! Sige lang bro! Ingat!"

I also left the band for my darling. I don't want to see her cry again so I'm having also a perfect time to clear to Taya everything. Exactly, after our graduation, Taya gave me a present and Natasha was beside with me.

" Look, Taya. I really appreciate all this stuffs na binibigay mo sa akin. When we were grade 7, hanggang doon na lang, okay? I'm happy now. So please. I am begging you. Never, never be a nuisance again." I gave her a small smile, clearing things.

" Ba...bawal na ba maulit yung dati, Anche? Masaya tayo rati diba?!" She whispered enough so we can only heard it. " Pero... pero noong dumating 'yang Natasha na 'yan, bakit bigla na lang nawala yung atensyon mo sa akin?" She was stopping herself from crying. I went back my sight to my darling who was curious and standing still.

I sighed and went back to Taya. " We are never official that time. And I never showed anything that make your hopes up again."

" Pero hindi pa naman huli diba? Gagawin ko lahat, Anche."

I shook my head and just glanced at my back. " Darling!"

" Yes?" She asked and gave me the cutest smile in the whole world. I immediately smiled. It was so stressful to handle the situation earlier.

" Taya. Here's my girlfriend, Natasha. And darling, here's my bandmate but since I'm not joining the band anymore, Taya's just my schoolmate." I smiled as a relief. I don't want to waste my darling's trust to me anymore so I cleared it both sides. I saw Taya slowly retreated the present she will give to me.

" A... ah, okay. May gagawin pa kasi ako. Ahm... Una na ako, ha!" Taya gave me a small smile. " Congrat's ulit Anche."

Senior years already came and we were busy at that time. We often communicate to each other pero humahanap pa rin ako ng time para makausap siya. I would never forget that. I could also see that she was distancing with me. What did I do now? I thought I already cleared everything?

We were at Taya's, making the group project for our Physics. I was really so stress at that time dahil sa mga napuntang miyembro sa akin. Hopefully, Vincent and Lance was with me.

I really wanted to talk with Natasha, but it was just the schedule. And also I shouldn't include our schedule being the hindrance of our relationship. Sometimes, I am asking to myself, kung ayos lang ba siya kahit hindi niya ako kasama? I know that it was my fault for not exerting an effort to be with her always.

We were at the library at the outside. Vincent actually suggested here. We continued the project because the due was already approaching.

" Hey, Gil! May basketball pa kami, una na kami ha? Kaya niyo na 'yan!" One of our groupmate said to us while walking backwards.

" Uhm... nag-text si mama. May ano raw... Emergency meeting!" My another groupmate mentioned. I understand him so pinayagan ko nalang.

" Bro! Bakit mo pinayagan? Ngayon na ngalang sila sumipot! I mean first time nila." Vincent suddenly said while he was cutting the paper.

" Mabait kasi 'yan!" Taya suddenly appeared.

" Sorry! Late ako. Inayusan ko lang yung participant namin sa Ginoo at Binibining kalikasan!" She chuckled while removing his shoe. " May pina-utos pa si pres. Tapos inutusan pa akong bumili ng papel!"

" Oh! Ano pa ginawa mo?" Vincent sarcastically asked to her.

" May nagsabi rin na tumahimik ka." Pambara ni Taya.

" Real shit bro!" Lance laughed while swiping at his phone.

" Isa ka ring shit!" He told to Lance.

" What do you mean?"

" A piece of shit!--" Vincent stopped.

Taya laughed. " Saan na ba kayo, ha?"

" Sa pagpapatahimik mo sa akin." Vincent said and continued to cut.

I just prepared our powerpoint for the presentation. Sun was rising now and we were still making our project. Lance already went home. I can see that they were tired now.

" Bro! Agahan nalang natin pumasok bukas kaya? Ang sakit na talaga ng likod ko!"

I glanced at Taya who was just busy in doing her part. " Ayos ka lang?" I asked.

I saw she bit her lower lip and slowly nod.

" Sige na, Vincent. Una ka na."

" Weh? Totoo ba 'to?!" He chuckled. " Bye bro! Ay shet!" He immediately took his phone inside his slacks.

" Oh my! Bye na bro!" Vincent looks worried. I just shook my head. Patay na naman 'to.

I went back my sight to Taya, but now she was resting her head on her arms. She was so very tired, huh.

I just continued the presentation and I let her rest. It was already evening and umuuwi na rin yung mga afternoon classes so we decided to go home na rin. I insisted na i-hatid ko na si Taya sa bahay nila because of girl's purpose and I understand it.

I even carried her bag because she said that her back was aching. We already passed Rhant'z from walking and may narinig akong ingay na nag-tapon ng basura kaya nilingon ko. It was Natasha and Ashley. I was going to go with them to clear this, but Taya stopped me.

" Ouch!" She mentioned. " Gilbert! My knees were starting to hurt. Fuck!"

I immediately met my brows at hinatid ko muna si Taya. Her mom opened the gate for us.

" Anche! Baka gusto mo muna ng dinner? Sakto, kakahanda pa lang namin!" Yaya ng mama niya sa akin. I declined to accept the invitation because Natasha was probably thinking of what happened to us earlier and I don't want her to overthink with that.

" Salamat nalang po." I chuckled and gave the bag to her mum. " Mag-pahinga ka, Taya. Kung mas maganda you take medicine too."

" Uh...uhm... okay!" She replied and her lips rose up.

" Una na po ako!" I blessed to her mum and walked away.

" Haven't you see her?" I asked to her bestfriends who was busy talking with each other. I was now at Rhant'z and thankfully na malapit lang dito yung bahay ni Taya. Leigh and my darling were nowhere to be found. I looked to Emma at tumitingin siya sa akin nang masama.

" Uhm..." Ashley looking at her bestfriends.

" A car took her!" Singit ni Emma na kanina pang galit na tumitingin sa akin.

" Is that Kuya Rol?--" Sophia stopped when Emma interrupted.

" Basta gwapo, matipuno, may muscles pa nga yung sumundo sa kaniya kanina diba, girls?" She said and sipped to her shake.

" Gwapo?" Ashley looks confused while she repeats the details that Emma said.

" Ay! Oo! Gwapo, Gil! Grabe talaga kung nakita mo kanina!" She tsked and ate the tacos.

I immediately overthink of this. What if Natasha already found someone that much better than me? What if she really spent her time with other guys that's why she was distancing with me? Sht!

" Really, girls?" Sophia asked them and looks seriously.

" Yea! Uh... Una na ako. I'll go now." I gave them a chuckle. Probably a fake, or an overthinking chuckle.

I really missed my darling though. And also I need to understand that she's already a Grade 10, a graduating student. This is her last stage of being a junior high school. Kaya pagkauwi ko, tinawagan ko kaagad siya.

She was really pursuing her dream being a Thomasian so my mouth suddenly said that I don't want to lose her. It's just because of what her bestfriends told to me earlier. I doubt again when she made a silence and she replied 'Uh! Goodnight!', monotone voice.

I bit my cheeks, frustrated and curious. This overthinking was driving me insane. I sighed heavily as I was looking to the window that was giving me a full bright moon and surrounded by twinkling stars. I realized suddenly noong team-building ng company nila. How I really confessed and admitted my feelings to her in the paradise. Paradise is a beautiful, happy, calming place. And I can say that I found the paradise in her. When I am with her, I always felt happiness and she could only do that to me. And I badly want to be with my paradise again.

Exam was already approaching and Taya invited us to their house since her parents left for an important matter kaya siya na lang naiwan mag-isa.

Nauna na ako sa kanila because lagi naman akong maaga nagigising.

" Hey, Anche! I thought na hindi ka makakapunta!" Taya mentioned, habang binababa ko yung mga exam reviewers ko.

" Let me help you with that."

" Kaya ko na 'to," She chuckled while placing the plates on the table. " Maupo ka nalang."

" You sure?" I asked her again. I just wanted to be a helpful guy.

" Uhm.. Anche. Can we talk?" She asked to me habang dahan-dahan na ibinababa yung mga plato sa kitchen table.

" Yea! We're taking already." I replied to her while I was sitting.

" Sorry kung makulit ako," She pursed her lips while saying.

" Is that all?"

" I tried to forget you, pero ayaw talaga eh. Baka naman kahit may kaunting feelings ka pa rin na natitira sa akin?" She looked at me, seriously while my jaw was being aggressive. " Mas.. mas better naman ako kaysa kay Natasha, eh."

I was biting my cheeks inside and getting frustrated by her words. What was she doing to me?

" Did she even tell you how much she love you? Kasi kung hindi, lagi kong sasabihin sa'yo 'yan araw-araw, Anche!" She was now sobbing and I looked now downwards. " Mahal kita, Anche. 5 years... 5 years na akong umaasa na maging tayo."

" Taya--" I stopped her.

" Sa totoo lang, attached na attached na ako sa'yo. At naiingit ako kay Natasha dahil hindi siya naghintay nang matagal para makuha yung minamahal ko," I gulped while she was crying, saying those words. " Ano ba meron kay Natasha na wala ako, ha?!"

" Taya stop comparing--"

" Ako... ako yung laging nandito sa'yo, oh! Binibigyan pa kita ng mga bagay na hindi naman binibigay non! Lagi naman akong nag-e-effort para makuha kita ulit diba?" Paluha niyang binanggit.

She wiped her tears while I was looking at her now. " Ako nalang."

" Bro!" Vincent suddenly appeared while drinking to his flask. " May naistorbo ba ako?" He furrowed his brows while slowly walking. " Siyempre wala!"

I pursed my lips. just shook my head and just changed the topic. " Saan ka nanggaling?" I saw Taya was resuming placing the plates.

" Basketball bro! Nag-hamon yung kapitbahay namin, eh!" Pagmamayabang niya and I really know kung sinong nanalo kaya hindi ko nalang tinanong.

" Nasaan na si Lance? Siya nalang hinihintay diba?" He added while resting his body on the couch.

" Hello, babes!" Angel appeared with her books. I knew that she was taking ABM and we were all STEM students here.

And followed by Lance. " Sorry bros, She really wanted to join us. I can't force her to not to."

" May aasikasuhin muna ako sa kusina. Maiwan ko muna kayo." Taya mentioned to us at kita pa rin sa mga mata niya ang sakit. I was thinking that what if I let Taya to enter to my life when I was Grade 7. What if that she was my life now? Would I be happy too how Natasha treated me? My thoughts ended when Angel said to us.

" I saw Natasha earlier at the gym. She looks so galit to me and I didn't do anything!"

" What did you do?" I asked her, curious. " Is she fine?"

" She was whispering how to start the treadmill. I replied to press the start and she was so really mad at me!" She pursed her lips. She was always going to cry kapag mag-kwekwento siya. " I said I want to revenge!"

My brows furrowed immediately when I heard it. " Revenge?! What did you do?"

" Here me out, babe. I am not finish yet," She held my arms at hinaplos niya ito. I was so getting angry.

" See that Taya?" She pointed with her lips and raised a brow. " I don't trust on her. Starting when we were Grade 7."

" Oh! Bakit naman nasama si Taya?" Singit ni Vincent.

" That bitch really! She is that fucking bitch! And I know that my babe, Natasha, have a hatred with her too. And I know that Natasha couldn't fight Taya. So ako nalang yung mag-rerevenge." She whispered.

" Where is my darling? Nasa gym pa rin ba siya?" Sinabi ko habang inaayos ko yung gamit ko. I really wanted to go away and see her. I want to talk with her again. I miss my darling.

" I don't know." She pursed her lips.

" But! I will revenge soon." She chuckled and went to Lance and they just talked to each other.

" Tsk! Bro... I think you should talk to Natasha na talaga. Minsan na ngalang ata kayo nagkakausap, oh! She really need answers and I think she was overthinking." Vincent mentioned to me, whispered. This is the time that I heard that he was serious. And if he sounds serious I know that I'm in danger. I really don't want to break my darling's trust to me. But I just can't stop overthinking.

Inaliw ko nalang muna yung sarili ko sa pagbabasa ng libro. Niyaya nila ako maglaro pero umayaw ako at baka ano pa ang masabi ko. I was really afraid that time. I went to Taya and she was reviewing too.

" Can I talk to you?" Tanong ko sa kaniya.

" Sure."

" Not here. Sa labas."

We went outside of their house so I can clear all the things for her.

" Taya. What happened in Grade 7, stays in Grade 7." I said. " I am happy now. I love her and I can't cheat to her. I felt very... very lost when I'm not with her and hindi ako napapakali. Dinagdagan mo pa ng mga confessions mo. I really appreciated sa mga bagay na binibigay mo sa akin. Pero not all the times masaya ako sa mga materyal na bagay. You know what's the source of my happiness? Her."

" I also cleared to you that I already found my happiness. I found her. At hindi sukatan yung bilang ng taon para mahanap mo 'yung taong magbibigay sa'yo ng saya. I'm not the only guy in the world. Marami ka pang makikilala. We're only high school, senior high school to be exact."

I looked away and gulped. " So if you really love me. Please let me go."

She bit her cheeks and her eyes were now teary. " Gano'n na lang ba kadali sa'yo?"

I tried to silence her but also I need to hear her side because letting go of the person you love was the hardest part to do when we were loving someone.

" I will be better. Just please be mine." I didn't even try to her sides anymore because I saw my darling who was giving me the cutest smile in the whole world. But suddenly it changes when Taya wrapped her arms around my neck and kissed me passionately.

" What the fuck!?" Hindi ko na namalayan na natulak ko na si Taya dahil sa pagka-gulat ko. I immediately ran to Natasha and she was crying. I'm getting hurt and I wish that I could explain my side but she was punching my chest and throwing some words at me.

" We are finish now." A word that bangs my heart. Seeing her crying really wrecked me and she added that word. " You are free, Gilbert." All I need was her to hear my side but I was too numb that time and just frozen. I saw she was walking away while the boxes were dropped.

" All I need is my darling to hear my side." I whispered while my chest was punching that hard. I immediately wiped my tears and my eyes were just burning that time. I entered the house and took my things. I want to follow her! I want her to listen to my side!

" Bro! Where are you going?" Nanginginig na boses ni Lance habang inaayos kong padabog yung mga gamit ko.

" Babe! What fucking happened?" Angel asked to me and she realized that Taya entered.

" Anche, I didn't mean to kiss you." She said while crying that irritated my ears. My friends were also shocked when they heard that. I was just silent that time and took my bag.

" Oh my god! The audacity of this fucking bitch to kiss my fucking babe!" Angel suddenly slapped Taya's face.

" Angel!" Lance shouted while Angel was still getting mad at Taya. I saw Vincent suddenly appeared from the outside.

" Yup! At nandoon pa si Natasha." Vincent added. " C'mon guys. Let's leave this house. Grabe talaga."

" What the really fucking fuck?! How dare fucking you, Taya, to do that in front of my fucking babe?!" Taya received another slap from Angel before she went outside. " I wish I could slap you again but I have class."

" Anche!" Umiiyak siya habang pinipigilan akong lumabas. " I'm sorry. Nadala... l-lang ako!"

I was removing my hand from the grip. " Uhm... Taya. Pakibitawan ng kamay mo please." Vincent mentioned.

" Makinig ka naman sa akin, Anche. Nandito naman ako lagi! Nandito ako sa mga panahong kailangan mo ng katulong! Nasaan yung Natasha na sinasabi mo? Iniiwasan ka diba? Deserved pa nga niya na makita 'yon, eh!" Taya said that made my jaw aggressive. If only I could say a harsh words to her, I would do it immediately, but my plans now was to talk to my darling and clear the things she saw earlier.

" Bro! Habulin... habulin natin si Natasha! Nasasaktan siya b-bro." Pagpipilit ko kay Vincent habang dinadrive niya yung sasakyan na ginamit ko para makapunta rito. " Bro! Please. Puntahan natin."

I saw Vincent just looked at the front mirror at may nakasunod din na kotse. My sight was that blurry dahil sa luha na pumapatak sa mata ko. I don't want to see my darling's in pain. I don't want.

I was just thinking and thinking overnight at hindi na rin ako makatulog. The final exam will be later already at hindi pa rin ako natutulog. All I was thinking that whole night was her.

Vincent showed me a video where Natasha was saying to me that I need to take my exams just for her. At pinanghawakan ko 'yon. I tried myself to review at pinapanood ko yung video na paulit-ulit habang nag-bubuklat ako ng libro. I hope that she was fine. I hope that she wasn't crying the whole night.

After the second day exam, I took my first day exam too. I don't want to fail her. She said to me that I need to take my exams so I took them all.

My exams were already finished and I immediately wait for her at the S.B. Building. I wanted to talk to her. I wanted her to hear my side. I wanted her to clear things.

" Sorry, Gilbert. I-i don't... love y-you anymore." She was trying hard to say that word. I really want her to hug me. I really want to wipe her tears but I know na galit na galit siya sa akin so I really pushed to say that she needs to listen to me.

I really believed to myself na mahal na mahal niya ako. At lagi ko 'yun pinanghahawakan. Natasha is a girl, a strong girl for me. She is my happiness and all. Pero noong makita ko siyang umiiyak dahil sa kapabayaan ko, I really thought that I deserved this kind of pain. I deserved all the hate words she threw at me. 

I sang a farewell song to her. It was our favorite song. Even though that she left me, I want her to face the world still with a smile. This is maybe not the last time that we will meet but I will promise to myself na hindi ko hahayaan na mawala nalang nang basta-basta yung babaeng mahal ko. I really love my darling and I will do my best to be with her again.

At that night, when I'm drowned... Vincent gave me a video clip. At pagkatapos no'n ay umalis na sila ng mga kaibigan ko. I'm really worried... hindi dahil sa sitwasyon ko pero dahil sa sitwasyon niya. How could she film herself despite of the heartbreak? 

I rotated my phone para makita ko ng buo ang video. Nakita ko siya roon at parang pamilyar ang background niya. 

"Is it already recording?" she asked. Dama at rinig ko sa boses niya ang garalgal nito. 

"1... 2... 3... Go!" Vincent whispered at nasama pa 'yon sa video.

Nahihiyang tumingin si Natasha sa camera. When I looked at her bare face, I feel the comfort but the guilt is eating me up.  

"First of all, I want to say that... I... I really don't know what to say. I'm out of words... It's just... the trauma is still swallowing me." Hindi ko na napansin na tumulo na naman ang luha ko. I immediately wiped it at ang iba ay tumutulo sa cellphone. "I still don't know how you could do that. I-I'm questioning myself every time if I'm not enough. If my love for you is too swallow? If our love is just a High School play?" I heard her voice cracked.  

"Gusto mo bang putulin na natin? Gagi! Hindi ka na ata ayos!" Singit ni Vincent. 

"No! No! I'm fine," she smiled slightly. "Going back... Since we're not already together, I wish that you'll prioritize your study now. Study hard and achieve your dreams... even though I'm not already at your side. This would be probably the last saying this but, I don't love you anymore. Take care of yourself."

I stuck my tongue inside of my cheeks. "I-I wish you did hear my side. I... I love you, my darling Natasha. I... I will chase my dreams for you."

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