After his graduation. His parents threw a small celebration in their house. It's not that new because I went there already. It's only just his parents and him were the only people in their house. No Ezekiel nor his sister. I asked him if where they were but he just replied that his baby brother, Ezekiel, and his sister were in their province. I went already back home.

I am already in my room. Having an opening box event, Gilbert gave me a box during Valentine's day -- he said that it was his apology gift, and today was the right time to open it because I'm busy lately, finishing my clearance.

I opened it with a smile plastered on my face. It has calligraphy that I'm requesting since our first anniversary. He used different fonts and wrote my name. It was a simple, yet fabulous gift, but also it was a memorable one. I immediately took my cellphone and I texted him that I appreciated it.

Many months came and I'm already in Grade 10. It was like, I'm having a throwback in my mind. The time that I was looking in the mirror, practicing how can I describe myself. The moment I asked my parents why they enrolled me in a public school. It was a grateful year that happened in my life.

Being a Grade 10 was no joke. The Assignments and Projects were multiplied. Also the responsibility of being a higher section. That's why I have no time to talk with Gilbert, I can feel also that he was busy because he was already taking his Senior years. We chatted and called each other, but it was not the same compared to his junior high school life. It's kinda we often talk, virtually and live. Same with my friends. We only say greetings in the classroom because we're so busy. Ashley was taking the competitions, Zophiya was so busy with her pageants in school, and also she said that she will focus on her academics now, Emma was having a hard time with her campus journalism and also her, joining in Schools Press Conference. Meanwhile, Leigh was enjoying and spending her life being a junior high school student and her cheerleading stuffs.

It was already evening where my parents went home. I am at the kitchen joining them for the evening dinner. I'm planning to talk about Gilbert with them. I'm also going to say to my dad that I have a relationship with him. Hoping that tonight was the right time for that.

I saw my dad loosening his necktie and removing his black suit revealing his white long-sleeved fit shirt. While my mum was in her elegant dress. I'm ready to say it.

Ate Kitty was doing her role again because my parents were here. Such a two-face. UGH!

" I already talked to the administrator in Sto. Tomas, Natasha." My dad mentioned while drinking his wine. I backed up my tongue when I heard about that.

" What!?" I asked him, surprised because he didn't tell me about that thing.

My mum placed her hand on my other hand. " You will take your senior years in UST, sweetie."

" Why?! Are you even serious, Mum and Dad?" I asked them, shocked. I just can't leave my friends and also Gilbert!

" Your Mum already sent the form at the office and we are only waiting for the entrance examination." My Dad replied but he sounded calm.

" Can't I take my Senior High School in Nova?" I asked them, playing the utensils. And also I'm kinda losing my appetite. " Yea! I know that it's a public one. But I just can't leave my friends there." I replied to them. I'm so attached that the result was I can totally leave them. I only have them. I can't lose my friends.. and Gilbert.

I saw my dad looked at my mum. I can't read what's going on in their mind right now.

" Here's the deal." My dad looked at me. "You can take whatever strand you want, Natasha. But you will go to UST."

" Oh c'mon!" I said, frustrated" I can't do that."

" Well! You will take Business Administration as your course." He said. He stands his arms at the dinner table. " Believe me, Natasha. There, in UST is way better than where you're schooling now." He let a laugh out, probably tease ones.

My dad really changed and I can't handle it. It was like they were forcing me about my future. I also realized that tonight was not the right time to talk about Gilbert. My dad makes me angry. UGH!

" I'm just gonna think about it." I wiped my mouth with a clean cloth and I excused myself and I went immediately going to my room.

I shouted at my room and I suddenly holds my mouth. Hoping that they didn't hear that.

" Fuck!" I whispered to myself, holding my head with both of my hands.

A day passed and I went downstairs to eat my breakfast. Time flies so fast and tomorrow's gonna be Monday again.

A new morning routine came to my list. I just wanted to have a fit and healthy body.

So every morning, I'm doing a jog around our subdivision and doing some exercise following the videos on YouTube.

After I did all my morning routine, I went back to my phone. I'm just bored so I decided to call Gilbert. Gosh! I missed him so much.

I tried to call, but I received busy.

So I decided to call him again. And seconds passed.

[ He-hey!] He greeted. He sounded tired and kinda cold. [ Why did you call?]

I stuck my tongue in the left side of my cheek thinking of an answer " U-Uh. Nothing. I just want to talk with you since it's been a long time." I let a fake laugh out. " H-how are you?"

[ Ah! Okay.] He answered. [I got to go.]

" H-hey! W-wait." I stuttered, hoping that he will not end the call. " Answer my question."

[ You know naman na, Natasha, right?] He said. Natasha. Okay. [ Sorry! We are busy.]

" Are?!" I shouted. " Who are you with?!"

[ Groupmates for the proj.] He answered. But he sounded forced. [ Sige na po. Bye na. Ingat ka.]

And he ended the call. It was that routine. Kaya minsan I decided not to talk with him anymore. Did he forget that we are in a relationship? Where is the old Gilbert that's sweet, talkative, funny, and also romantic jokes? I missed it.

I felt heartbreaking, soft and my mood dropped to zero.

After I stared at the wall for a very long time. I decided to call Ashley, she just said that she was at the mall with someone. Leigh? I got no answer. I'm fine with that. Maybe my girl was that busy. Zophiya? I think she was preparing for her Science pageant because it's already near. After that, I think the girls were really that busy. Hindi ko naman sila masisisi about that. Education is that very important to us. And also we took STE, the highest section, a special one. Result? More projects, assignments, PeTas, and other stuff.

I remembered that the last girl was Emma.

" Bieh! Ano bang meron?!" She asked.

We were in her honeymoon avenue again. Kuya Roland took me here. This is also the place where we were drunk. Memories. UGH!

" How do you say if you fell out of love?" I asked him while looking at the birds in the skies.

" Hoy! 'Wag ka ngang ganiyan!" She replied. " Uminom ka nga muna!" She put a water on the glass and gave it to me.

" It's dramatic." I fired back, laughing but in pain.

" C'mon! Sino pa ba magtutulungan? Eh tayo-tayo lang din naman. Sinabi mo na rin kanina na yung iba nating girlies hindi available. Kaya no choice ka."

I sighed. " We didn't talk that much." I'm talking to Gilbert. "I just don't know." I shrugged.

" Sabi nga nila diba, kapag mabilis nakuha mabilis ding mawawala. Kaya no doubt." She shook her head. " Eh! , niligawan ka ba no'n Nakakapagtataka talaga kayo eh."

" Is courting even that important?" I asked her. And I poured water again on the glass.

" Of course!" She tapped my elbow. " Diyan nabubuo yung trust, diyan lumalalim ang pagmamahal ng bawat isa, at siyempre diyan niyo rin nalalaman yung weaknesses and strengths niyo!"

" Sige nga! What's his favorite food?" She asked me, she sounded like a predator eating her prey.

" I don't know!" I shrugged.

" Ano..." She was thinking a question. " Ano kulay ng shirt niya today?"

I choked " Oh my god! Ask me a decent question, Emma!"

" Gaga! Masyado ka kasing seryoso sa buhay." She fired back. " Try to explore things. Since matatanda naman na tayo. I mean duh!"

I shrugged. " What things?"

" Try dating apps." She answered immediately. " Bumble, Omegle, Neargroup. Ganiyan girl! Natutuhan ko 'yan kay Leigh."

" You forgot that I'm already taken, Ms. Chavez?" I asked her.

" So what, Ms. De Verra?"

" So what!?" I asked, raising my brows.

" Coconut?" She questioned back.

" Oh my! Don't continue with that!" I ordered her. And I let out a laugh.

And silence came.

" You know, Emma. If overthinking was a drug, I would be so much high." I just realized that money can't really buy your happiness. Yea, it can be but it will not last longer than the real ones. I have the coins to buy anything. But I can't feel that I'm full when it comes to love.

" Hey, Girl! Kaya nga kami nandito eh." She suddenly sat beside me and she insisted to place my head into her arms. " You deserved to be love. You deserved assurance and consistency, Natasha."

I just nod at her. I don't know what to say.

" You love him?" She suddenly asked, sounded like a serious girl.

" Yeah! I really do. Super." I immediately answered.

" Do you think he loves you too like how you love him?"

I sighed. Thinking of an answer. Did he really love me the way I did?

" If the answer is no, then you need to let go, Natasha. If you're not happy with the 'relationship' you have then you just need to do it." She said. And a tear fell from my eyes.

" Hey, Natasha." She suddenly holds my face with both of her hands. " Hindi ko sinasadya. Sorry"

" Maybe, I'm just overreacting, Emma." I cried to her. " And no need to apologize."

She wiped my tears. " Girl! Your tears are valid. So as your feelings. If you're not just feeling the spark again then make a cause." She placed my head into her arms. " Give yourself a rest. You'll just gonna end up drowning in your own tears and you are gonna hurt yourself more."

We also talked and exchanged topics about things and events that happened in our life. And I learned that don't take life seriously, because life is full of surprises. We don't know what will happen later, tomorrow, or even in the future. It's kinda therapeutic to talk with her.

Months passed and it's already Science Month.

" Oy! Gandahan niyo makeup niyan ni Zophiya!" Leigh shouted with our classmates.

We were in our classroom to prepare my girl, Zophiya for her pageant called Ginoo at Binibining Kalikasan. This is her last one to participate in a Junior High School pageant competition, so we want to give our full support to her. Sian, my classmate, was her partner.

Zophiya and Sian wore a plain blue tee, for now, that was the assigned color for Grade 10 participants.

" Dapat mas malakas cheer natin kaysa sa kabilang section, ha!" Juliana shouted.

" Oh!" Jan gave us a 1/8 bond paper written with the lyrics for the cheer.

I just shook my head. Because we just gave and exerted our efforts to support our classmates. I remembered also that we went to junkshops to buy bulasi, and happily, We ranked number one. And for that, we have a higher percentage that we will win this competition.

We were now walking, going to Marcos building. Because the pageant's venue was at the AVR. I was at their back, solo. We were now entering the gate of the building. Until I looked at the right side. I can't see clearly but they're Gilbert's friend and... Taya in the library. Maybe they were only a groupmate for their project. And also I just didn't notice them and went my eyes forward. Maybe Gilbert's busy and he doesn't want to talk with me, so the safe choice was not to bother him. I don't want to be the cause of his failure. I want him to achieve his dreams.

It's already late when the competition was done. We were already outside of AVR waiting for Zophiya.

" Hoy! Ang galing talaga niya." Leigh fake cried.

" No doubt that the competition with the other section is close," I mentioned to them while holding my bag.

" Ang galing talaga ng mga representatives ng mga scouts lagi!" Emma fired back.

" Hello, Girlies!" Zophiya greeted us. She was holding the sliding door that time. " Just a few minutes." She smiled.

Leigh sighed. " Hay! Few minutes pa?!" She suddenly sat on the ground. " Bordang na bordang na ako dito mga beh!"

" Tumayo ka nga! Ang dumi diyan." Emma mentioned to her, forcing to get up.

" Let's go!" Zophiya immediately appeared. She was so nice-looking. She wore a white tee and skinny jeans while we were still in school uniform.

" Where is your bag?" I asked her while we were going downstairs.

" I gave it to my mom earlier." She replied.

I just nod at her.

" Girlies!" Zophiya called our attention.

" Bakit beh?" Emma asked.

" I'll treat you. Girls things." Zophiya shrugged.

" Omg! Betty!" Ashley mentioned.

" Hoy! Ingatan 'yan." Leigh replied.

" So where?" I asked her.

" G ba kayo?" Zophiya fired back at us.

" Yes! G lang." We answered.

We were now at Rhant'z. It's just a burger, fries, shake store. And it is also near to the school that's why we decided to go here.

Zophiya and Ashley ordered for us.

" How's the cheerleading, Leigh?" I opened a topic.

" Put tang in a can! Kapagod." She replied. " Daming stunts. Pasalamat sila flexible ako."

" Tanga! Flexer ka naman diba. Panindigan mo 'yan." Emma fired back to her. " Finlex mo pa nga sa story. Hashtag ang sipag naman nito!" She mimicked.

" Ang ingay mo, gaga ka!"

" Girls, what is happening?" Zophiya came back. It's only a small food shop that's why she didn't get a number for reservations.

" Taena nito eh, pasmado bunganga." Leigh replied.

" Ha?" Emma sarcastically asked.

" Tama na nga 'yan. Minsan minsan na ngalang tayo magkita-kita, ganyan pa kayo." Ashley stopped them.

" Truth, It's been months, right?" Zophiya asked. She sat in front of me.

" Ikaw, Natasha. How's life with Gilbert?" Ashley asked me. She sat on my right side, while Emma was on my left side.

I heard Emma slightly coughed.

" We are... fine." I slightly smiled. Since I don't want to talk about it and I don't want to add the stress with them.

"Saan kayo mag-gragrade 11 mga beh?" Emma suddenly asked. I think she got the signal.

" Still in Nova, why?" Zophiya raised her brow.

" Yeah! Same." Ashley answered.

" Wala naman na akong no choice. Haha!" Leigh let out a sarcastically laugh. I know that she was going in pain right now. I don't want to talk about it. Not my story.

" Eh! Ikaw, Natasha?" Emma looked at me.

Thinking if I need to answer that question. Ayoko na silang mag-alala. And I think they will hate me if I will take my senior years in another school.

" I don't know," I answered and the server suddenly appeared that cut our conversations. I'm kinda thankful because I don't want to talk about it.

" Picture-an muna natin." Emma ordered.

" Jusko naman. Gutom na 'ko kanina pa." Leigh fired back.

" Sige beh, kainin muna sa'yo." Emma slowly gave the food Zophiya ordered to us earlier. It was a mango graham shake with taco and burger.

" Thank you, beh." Leigh sarcastically replied.

We talked about what was happening to us lately. I'm kinda proud that I can see they were happy. It's kinda therapeutic kapag kasama ko sila, like I lost my heavy feeling temporarily.

I insisted that I will gonna trash the junk for them since they all contributed to the works. Zophiya and Ashley ordered while Emma and Leigh cleaned the table.

" Where is the garbage can?" I whispered to them.

" Nasa labas lang. Nakita ko kanina." Leigh answered.

I got all the trashes and put them in the bigger plastic.

" Sama ako." Emma mentioned while sipping on her shake. " Kailangan kong tumayo eh. Papatunaw lang."

I just nod at her since it's also dark. The light coming from the stores and the moon is the source of our blaze.

We were walking outside and she asked a question. " Nakakatawa talaga ano?" She laughed sarcastically and shook her head.

" That's fine. You need to know his part, Emma." I tapped her arms. It's the story of her and I don't want to talk about it.

Until... I saw Gilbert with that fucking Taya. It's already late why they were still there? And also bakit sila lang magkasama? I thought this was a group project.

" Oh!" Emma slowly whispered while sipping on her shake again that made a small noise.

" The tiger who is already committed with its tigress, but still looking for another prey." She slowly mentioned to me, whispered while looking at them. " Rawr!"

I just stick my tongue in the right side of my cheek, frustrated. Nakakagalit.

" Why I'm hurting?" I asked her, whispered.

" Hey, Natasha." She brushed my hair with her fingers. " Ilagay nalang natin 'to sa basurahan."

" Yea! Okay. Much better." I nod at her. I'm still looking at where they were. I can see that Gilbert was wearing Taya's bag and they were happy talking. They also laugh at each other.

" You got to know your worth or else nobody will, Natasha Shane." She tapped my arms and throw her shake into the garbage that made a loud noise.

" Emma!" I mentioned to her. She was walking back again to my friends. " Hey! Wait for me." I placed immediately the plastic filled with trashes that we ate earlier.

I turned around. I'm slowly accepting the fact that he was not that kinda loyal. I mean that's unfair! I thought Taya is his bandmate only?! Will I still be fooled even tho when I see it with my two eyes?! Why I'm still pretending that this is nothing?! Do I still need to act like everything is okay even when it is not?!  I don't care if they looked in my direction. I need answers to my question.

I need.

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