Trigger Warning.

Read at your own risk.

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I ignored his message 'cause I don't want to be disturbed while I'm reading.

"Ma'am Tash!" I heard someone knocked the door.

"Good evening Ate Lita!" I said, smile plastered on my face.

"Ma'am, ito po. Orange juice and toasted bread po for your snacks. Baka sakaling magutom po kayo."

"Thank you, Ate Lita," I took the tray and put it on the table.

"Yung notebooks po pala na pinapabalutan niyo po sa akin, tapos na rin po. I-aakyat ko po ba para maayos na po sa bag niyo?" Ate Lita added.

"Uh! Ako nalang po kukuha. Nakaka-abala naman po sa inyo. Salamat po ulit," I ordered.

I left my room and I follow Ate Lita to get my notebooks. I don't know why we need to cover this with red, black, newspaper. Waste of time. I remember in my school when I was Elementary. Only name and section and you're notebook is safe.

"Ate Lita! Can I ask something?" I questioned.

"Yes po Ma'am!" She replied.

"D-do you know what stub is?" I asked.

"Ah! Yes, Ma'am. Mostly sa mga foods po makikita 'yan ma'am. Para sure na may mauuwi po kayo," She answered.

"Uh oh!" I said in the air. I don't know if also she said it right about the stub.

So, we need to collect stubs in our subject Araling Asyano to get a free lunch or what? Maybe I'll ask Ashley about that tomorrow to be safe and sure.

"Thank you Ate Lita for this!" I thanked her. 

Oh! I remember. We need the signature of my parents. I went upstairs directly to their room to signed up for the agreement thingy that we need to maintain the neatness and to participate in recitations and other concerns.

I heard noises. I saw the door was slightly open so I can see what's happening inside. They're exchanging statements. They're fighting? No! It can't be. My dad loves my mum and my mum loves my dad .That's the first time I saw them like that. My heart broke into pieces when I saw a teardrop fell from my mom's eyes.

"Dad! Pwede bang kumausap ka na ng lawyer natin? I don't want to make this issue bigger!" I heard my mum pleasing to my dad.

"Bakit mo kasi kailangan gawin 'yun dad! Bakit mo kailangang dumihan yung pangalan natin! Paano si Natasha?" My mom replied to dad.

I don't want to hear that voices anymore and I walk downstairs to get Ate Lita's signature instead. While Ate Lita's writing hers. The echoes are still in my mind. Driving me crazy.

Until Ate Lita hold my face.

"Is there problem, Ma'am?" Ate Lita questioned, concerned.

My tears fell from my eyes and I suddenly hugged her.

"I can't. I don't want to see dad and mum fighting," I cried on Ate Lita' arms.

"Ma'am! Stop crying po. It's not good for you. They can fix them naman po because they're matured enough naman." She calmed me.

Ate Lita brought me upstairs while I'm in her arms. I stared at the ceiling and I didn't know that I already fell asleep because of crying.

"Hoy! Bakit ka nasa tabi ko?" Ashley said to me, she was so angry.

"Ashley? I don't know what you're talking about?" I asked her.

"BiEh! Tingnan mo. Kaya pala nakapasok sa S.T.E. kahit hindi nag-entrance exam," The minion mentioned.

"Ha! Edi hindi rin siya nag- interview? Ang daya naman, biEh," The ribbon girl added.

"Guys! What are you saying?" My tears are falling.

"Natasha! Natasha! Madaya! Madaya!" The minion girl started.

As the minion girl started with that words I can hear the whole classroom cheering with that.

"Guys! For Fucking Sake. Stop this!" I can't stop my tears.

"Naging crush pa kita, Natasha tapos ganiyan din naman pala ugali ng fam mo." Jan mentioned

"What the fuck, Jan? Don't include my family here!" I shouted.

I heard that they were laughing at me until that voices were getting louder and louder.

"Stop!" I screamed.

I breathed. It was all in my head. Crying. Realizations. Anxiety. I'm angry with myself. What did I do wrong?

I woke up suddenly. I have tears in my eyes. I'm glazing at the wall. Thinking.

I heard my alarm.

"My imagination's too creative
They see demon
I see angel, angel, ang--🎶"

I closed my alarm and looked at the clock.

5:01 am

I need to prepare my clothes and I'll ask Ate Lita to prepare my breakfast and to pack my recess and lunch.

No one's awake 'cause It's too early. I prepared myself. Took a bath, brushed my teeth, Changed my clothes and Kuya Roland took me to my school.

"Natasha! Good morning!" Ashley greeted me with her big smile.

I slightly smiled at her and still thinking what she said in my dreams.

"Hoy! Pota! Patayin niyo na Nana!" My classmate said. They were playing games again. UGH!

"Gago! Bro, wag niyo naman kawawain si Shana," My other classmate said.

"Tangna! Sino pumatay sa akin?" Shana said.

Shana chased my classmate in the room. Such a child.

"Magandang Umaga." My Filipino teacher suddenly appeared.

"Magandang Umaga, Bb. Rachel," We greeted.

I heard someone running in the corridor going to our room.

"BiEh! Paano 'yan? Paano ba pumasok? Babati ba tayo?" I saw the ribbon girl.

Predicted. She's wearing two ribbons now. One in left, one in right

"Gaga ka ba BiEh? Pwede naman atang pumasok kahit hindi na mag-ganyan." I remembered she's Leigh, the minion.

"Bahala na ang buhay natin." The ribbon girl disagreed.

"Good Morning Teacher! Good Morning Classmates. Sorry, I'm late," They both greeted.

"Ha? What's the problem? I think Ma'am Rachel saw them already. Why was she ignoring them?" I asked in my mind.

And I turned my gaze on my Filipino teacher. Since I'm close to the entrance gate of our classroom I heard their conversations.

"Hala! BiEh! Totoo pala yung sinabi sa akin ni kuya!" I heard a small voice maybe it's Leigh.

"Sino kuya mo, biEh?" She asked.

"May kapatid ako, biEh, sa 8- Bohr. Akala ko hindi totoo sinabi ni kuya. Kaya ako nagpa-late." Leigh answered.

"'Wag ka, BiEh. Hindi na talaga ako magpapa-demonyo sa'yo. Bakit ba kasi ako naniwala sa mga salitaan mo." The ribbon girl said. I can feel her regrets.

"Sa darating na buwan ng Agosto ay gaganapin ang taon-taong idinaraos Ang Buwan ng Wika. Para sa mga ika-7 baitang naghanda kami ng mga gawain na maari ninyong salihan," Bb. Rachel explained.

"Ma'am! May dagdag po ba 'yan na grades sa card namin? hehe."

Remember the boy behind my back who asked if we can be together? He questioned that. Such grade greed! 

"Siyempre naman Ginoong Cario," Ma'am replied.

"Yes! Boi, Sali tayo poster," He whispered.

"Ge! Lang," Gie replied.

I see now Gie and Sian Cario are friends. Maybe they're classmates since Elementary.

"Maari kayong lumahok sa Poster at Slogan. At bumuo kayo ng isang grupo na may sampung miyembro para sa Interpretatibong Sayaw," Ma'am continued.

"Ash! What's Interpretatibong Sayaw?" I asked, whispered.

"Ah! Ano 'yon sis, Sayaw gano'n. Pucha. Ano ba English no'n," Ashley replied.

"Hoi, Sian! Ano sa English yung Interpretatibong sayaw ba?" I heard Ashley asked Sian.

"Interpretative Dance!" Jan mentioned, excited.

"Luh! Ikaw ba tinatanong? Pampam, ampucha." Ashley rolled her eyes.

"Ano, narinig mo naman ata?" Ashley asked me.

"Yeah! How can I join?" I asked.

" 'di ko alam eh. Tanungin ko si Shana mamaya galing nun sumayaw," She replied.

I don't know what to say next. So, I nodded at her instead.

"Tapos na ang klase, Paalam!" Bb. Rachel said.

"Paalam po, Bb. Rachel," We replied.

"Hindi ako tumatanggap ng mga hindi maagap sa klase ko. Kaya kung gusto niyo makapasok sa oras ko, pumasok kayo ng maaga," She suddenly said.

"Good Morning Ma'am! Sorry po," The ribbon girl and Leigh greeted and apologized.

Ma'am Rachel... just ignored them.

"Grabe sis! Kakayanin pa ba talaga natin to?" The ribbon girl worried.

"Hi! Natasha," Leigh greeted.

I smiled at 'em.

I joined the Interpretative Dance. Since tomorrow is weekends. We decided to practice outside the campus.

What a tiring day. Full of PETA, Homeworks and Reports. My teachers already assigned our group for the First Quarter. I opened my Twitter to tweet.

Natasha @natashanexx

Hi! Twitter. So, Tired. I already missed my Elementary Friends. Hoping that I can survive another week ♡

#Tired

#Survivor

A Group Chat popped-up while I am swiping through my Twitter timeline.

AvoGODancers

Shana:

What : Interpretatibong Sayaw Practice

Who: Selected Students from Avogadro

Where: Greenfields Court

When : Tomorrow. 9:00 am

Why: Practice ata

How: Do we need to answer this? 

Gie: Pota! Naglalaro ako ML, Shana! Nag-lag tuloy. Anak ng mama mo talaga eh.

Shana: Taena mo. Dalian mo riyan, sama ako.

Ashley: SHANA!!

Shana: y?

Ashley: Saan yung GF Court? hihi.

Shana: Sa school nalang pala tayo magkita since yung iba hindi alam kung sa'n yon.

Julianna: besties. Pwede bang dumiretso nalang? Malapit lang naman ako don

Shana : 👍

seen by Denice, Emma, Julianna, and 3 others

Sineen ko nalang kasi wala naman akong concern at nasagot na rin ng leader namin.

This is my first time practicing outside because in private they are strict that's why teachers lend their time so we can practice.

I woke up early. I did my morning routine. I wore a comfy shirt, gray sweatpants, and gray Adidas shoes too.

I looked on my watch and it's already 8:23 am. Hoping that it's not traffic.

Since my parent's room is near. I heard voices... again. No! It's too early. It can't be. I can see what's happening there because the doors are open.

"You need lawyer, Dad!" My mom shouted while holding her palm in forehead.

"I don't need that! Mas lalo lang magugulo yung sitwasyon natin. I can talk to her. I can fix this." I heard my dad replied holding a wine glass.

"Trust me naman," My mom said holding back her tears.

"Trust? I don't want to repeat the history, Lynne." My dad mentioned my mum's name.

"History? What was their history?!" I whispered so they can't hear me.

"Natasha? Anak? Matagal ka na ba riyan?" My mum wiped her eyes.

I failed. They heared me. What will I do now?

"M-mum? What is your history with Dad?" I pouted.

"Natasha, this conversation is only for us. Okay?" My mum calmed me.

"This problem is only for us, We can fix this." My dad holds my hand.

"Mum! Dad! No fight, please. I don't want to see that you are fighting to," I
formed a sad face.

"Yes! Baby. I'm just talking to your Mum about my concerns in company--" Dad kissed my forehead and suddenly stopped.

"Where are you going, Natasha?" My mum suddenly asked.

"Practice!" I said, trying to form a smile so I can ease the tension.

"What time it'll finish? Where is the practice place? Who are joining? --" My mum stopped.

"Mum! Ate Lita will accompany me. She insists." I cut her statement.

"I'll go now, mum," I kissed them both on the cheeks.

"Take care, my sweetie," My mum mentioned.

I went downstairs and looked at my watch.

8:56 AM?

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