CALE HAD NEVER considered himself a coward until he heard his team arrive at the Sanctum, and instead of checking on them, he ran.

Jaw locked together, he slashed his blades through the air in a double strike against his imagined enemy. He pivoted immediately, lifting one sword in what would be an overhead attack and then stabbing with the other.

No amount of power behind the strikes relieved the mixture of emotions thrumming through him.

He'd been banned from going on the mission. On all missions lately, actually. As if he was something fragile that needed protection.

Maybe because he was.

He didn't realize he'd reached for his magic until the gnawing ache blossomed in his chest. Fear more than pain drew him to a halt, but it lasted for only a moment before the rage seared across his mind.

Fear had been his constant companion for the last three weeks, and he despised playing host to the parasitic emotion.

Little pebble, you need to release the magic.

Ezraim's gentle but firm voice jolted Cale from his furious haze. He hadn't even realized he still held on to the magic. Closing his eyes, he pried away his grip on it. The ache from the Soul Sickness may have eased, but the loss of magic left him empty nevertheless.

The earth gave the smallest tremors as Ezraim approached. His head came down to rest upon Cale's shoulder. I know, Ezraim said. I know.

The lid Cale had over his emotions nearly slid free, but he forced it back in place. Swallowing, he unclenched his muscles and let his arms fall to his sides. "I'm sorry. You shouldn't have to continue catching my slip ups."

It will take time to unlearn your instincts, Ezraim murmured.

A heavy weight fell in the small amount of space between them. If not for the Soul Sickness, he would never have to unlearn any of this.

Another ember of anger flickered, and this time, it staked deep into his heart, bringing a pain almost as severe as the empty ache. Because this anger wasn't at his situation. It was at Josh; it was at Mara.

He closed his eyes and took deep breaths, but the darkness only made it easier to see the scene play out again. Josh, his friend and teammate, running off to save someone who turned out to be an enemy. Then Mara, foolish Mara, letting her need to prove her righteousness get the best of her, following him. Finally, the ship's wall shattering, the raging water nearly bursting in, and his Soulmerge.

He had achieved the most powerful skill a Paladin could have, and now what? Now he couldn't even summon earth around his blade without feeling like someone was pushing needles into his chest.

All because he had to save them.

His jaw ached from how hard he clenched it. No, he wouldn't be mad at them. Anger wouldn't achieve anything but distancing the people he cared about.

If he was miles away from anyone else, he would have screamed.

Maybe that's what you need, Ezraim said. I could create a barrier around you. I doubt anyone is close enough to hear you scream in there.

As tempting as it was, Cale shook his head. "This anger... No, all of these feelings. They achieve nothing."

Ezraim sighed. Not everything is a means to an end, Little Pebble.

Cale didn't respond. Maybe Ezraim had a point, but he didn't know what to do with that point anymore than he knew what to do with the emotions.

Closing his eyes, Cale dwelled there with his dragon. He never felt as soothed as he did when Ezraim's presence mixed with his own. The world grew distant, taking away the weight and the worries that came with it. In that moment, it was just them. Two beings drawn into one. Not ever the true closeness of a Soulmerge, but still the peace of dwelling with one who knew you entirely.

After a few minutes, Cale pulled away. He was thankful that the Soul Sickness didn't worsen when he focused on the bond. But it did steal his magic, which meant his physical abilities had to be in top condition. He patted Ezraim's snout before returning to training.

Ezraim circled Cale as he sparred with imagined opponents. Although Ezraim had no skill with blades, he had enough access to Cale's thoughts to point out particularly sloppy moments.

He'd worked himself into a sweat by the time a presence tickled his mind. Huffing for breath, he paused and waited.

Caleb, the presence said. Jodas, as he had expected. Xander would like you in his office.

The connection vanished, and with it, the warmth in Cale's body. The others had returned recently. They'd have to give Xander their report. Had that already occurred, or had something gone wrong? What other reason could Xander have to call Cale to his office?

Unless they'd realized the hopelessness of the situation and decided it best to sever the bond now.

They wouldn't do that, Ezraim assured. Beneath the gentleness of his words hid a vein of anger, almost as if he meant to add that he wouldn't let them do that.

Cale raked a hand through his hair. "I know. Yes, of course, I know." But it didn't stop the fear from digging its claws deeper into his thoughts. After another quick moment of dwelling in Ezraim's presence, Cale departed. Even then, he felt the dragon sticking close through the bond.

He arrived at the office landing to the sound of voices within. Tendrils of anxiety escaped the steel box he placed around the delusional thoughts, but he did his best to wipe its influence from his expression.

"Enter," Xander instructed after Cale knocked.

He stepped inside to find multiple eyes on him. Xander sat behind his desk, and Joel stood beside it with his arms crossed. The Sage leaders' presence seemed much larger and smaller at once, and it took him a moment to realize why. He was by himself, exuding his own force of will but lacking the shadow that typically empowered him.

Kaitlyn hadn't followed along with her father, and this was not the first time Cale had noticed such an occurrence.

Even without her presence, the leaders weren't alone. Two children sat on the couch, with Mateo taking the cushion closest to the exit. The remainder of Cale's team leaned against the wall beside the couch.

Josh and Mara.

His cool mask remained in place even as images of the boat flashed through his mind again, bringing with it an unsettling mixture of emotions. With them before him, though, he found he wasn't truly angry at them. No, he was angry at himself and his own weakness. He wouldn't be able to protect them, or anyone in the room, ever again.

He took in each member of his team, though his eyes snagged on Mara a moment longer than the rest of the group.

He knew, without the murmur of a doubt, that he would save the two again, even if this was its cost.

"You wished to see me?" Cale asked as he clicked the door shut behind him. He forced himself to act like he didn't notice Joel examining him off to the side.

Xander nodded. "I wished for you to join us in this debriefing."

"Of course." Cale took up the space beside Mara and trained his attention on Xander. He would be a good Paladin even if he wanted to be anywhere but here. The reminder of his absence from this mission was a dagger wedging itself into his heart. What purpose did he serve, even if he was team lead?

The others picked up where they'd left off. Cale didn't think he'd missed much. Mara explained their discovery that the twins left their orphanage, then Josh picked up to tell about finding the two children. When he mentioned Kai's inherited skill, Joel hummed his intrigue.

"Interesting. I'll have to look into doing a heritage analysis on you two. I don't believe there's anyone in the last couple of generations who has had that cloaking ability of yours."

Kai hunkered deeper into the couch at the acute attention. Josh glowered at the Sage, and Cale couldn't blame him. Having been the target of Joel's interest for years, he knew it felt like being hunted by a slavering fox.

Joel waved for Josh to continue. After taking another moment to glare, Josh did just that. The more he talked, the more the warmth from the room drained. He left out details. That was clear from his worried glances at the twins. Still, he couldn't cushion the sheer brutality of the merciless slaughter of innocents.

Cale should have been there. It would have been more hands to keep the serpents at bay, and if he had to use miniscule amounts of magic, then so be it. A small piece of his soul was worth the lives of multiple innocents.

Ezraim growled. What is Xander thinking? You should not have been brought in there.

Xander would never do something as cruel as force Cale to endure this, so what was his end goal? If not for the forceful lock Cale had on his jaw, he might have acted like Josh and demanded an answer.

Silence followed Mateo's wrap up of Suyin accepting the bond. To little surprise, Josh was the first to speak up. "You already knew about the breach speed though, right? That's what you went to talk to the Sages about before we got here?"

Xander nodded. "The Sages have been researching the increasing speed of breaches for the last few weeks, and Joel is certain they know the cause. We will get into that, but first—"

A knock cut Xander off, and once again, he called, "Enter."

Ioana peeked her head in. "This explains why you had to have Jodas summon me rather than doing it yourself, husband dearest. Is this what you needed me for, or am I interrupting."

"Never," Xander said, giving a soft smile he reserved for her. When he spoke next, it was in Mandarin. "Suyin, Kai, this is my wife, Ioana. She's going to take you to meet a few people. Are you comfortable with that?"

"You're just trying to get rid of us," Kai muttered. Suyin took his hand and squeezed it.

"No, I'm not. It's too early for you to deal with what we're talking about, and you both need rest after the day you've had. Worry not. Kai, Suyin, so long as you choose to have us, the Paladins are your home now," Xander said, gently but firmly. "We will never get rid of you."

The twins shared a look, and Cale caught the glimmer of tears in the young girl's eye.

After they whispered a few words to each other, the children rose from the couch and left with Ioana.

"Alright, with that out of the way, let's get to business," Joel said.

Perhaps because of how Joel suddenly stole the lead, Josh snorted. Joel shot a quick glare in his direction, but otherwise, he ignored it.

"It appears that the veil between realms is weakening. What would encourage a breach in the past is now doing so at a higher rate with greater speed. Our theory as to why is that the veil is trying to accommodate the sudden collapse of the pocket dimensions."

"Is this something anyone knew could happen?" Mateo asked.

Joel shrugged. "It's possible that the Paladins who sacrificed themselves did, but it was a risk they had to take. Even if they had known the chance existed, their goal was to make sure the dimensions never collapsed."

Cale's mind rolled the situation over, and he spoke before he realized what he was doing. "So even if we keep this one seal away from the Shadow Knights forever, we cannot let them get more keys. All but one destroyed pocket dimension may not free Lucien, but the barrier will be a mere sheet between realms."

"Exactly," Xander said, smiling proudly.

His pride should have lifted Cale's spirits, but instead, they crashed into the ocean hundreds of feet below. What did Xander have to be proud about? Cale had said what both of the Soul-Bound leaders knew. What now? He sat on the sidelines while the others planned on how to stop the Shadow Knights?

Beneath the doubt, he knew that there had to be more to this discussion. Xander had yet to dismiss his team, and he'd wanted Cale here, so he must have had something up his sleeve before starting this discussion. If Cale just pushed through the murkiness of his constant pity party, he could figure it out, he knew it. But a deep, unforgiving lake of sludge separated him from clarity.

He didn't know which he hated more: his powerless, or his inability to face it.

Despite his best efforts, something must have shown on his face, because Xander's expression softened. It fell on the side of sympathy rather than pity. Cale wasn't sure he wanted either.

"So, what do we do about this?" Josh asked. "It's not like we can wave a magic wand and make the other four keys appear."

"Three," Joel corrected, a hint of smugness in his smile. "The fourth was the one used for the temple you recently visited."

Josh glowered. "Alright, three keys. Do you have a magic wand in your bag of tricks, Joel? Can you make things appear? Or, I don't know, make our problems disappear?"

Although Joel's smile tightened, he kept it in place. The two had never gotten along from what Cale had seen, but this was the first time the air between them had ever felt so charged.

Xander cleared his throat. "No, Josh, we have no such wands, as handy as they would be. Instead, we have to go about it the hard way. Thankfully, though, we do know the location of at least one, possibly two, keys, and that's why I've summoned each of you."

Everyone leaned closer at this news, even Cale. Finally, they approached answers to why he'd been brought along.

"This mission originally belonged to a few others, but we have decided to have this team join them. Thanks to the Soul-Bound's combined research and the Sage's intel—"

Josh snorted. At a raised eyebrow from Xander, he smiled apologetically. "Sorry. Had to sneeze."

Xander rolled his eyes before continuing. "As I was saying, we have deduced that two different keys were trusted to groups of Elementals. Originally, this would have kept them separated, but with their mass unification under a council, one force has control of at least a single key. Hopefully, they have two."

"Why is a mission even needed then?" Josh asked. "Can't we just ask them to hand the keys over?"

Joel scowled. "Have you yet to learn enough respect for your betters? If it were that simple, we'd have done it by now. However, even though the Elementals would side with the Paladins over the Shadow Knights if necessary, they consider themselves separate from the Soul-Bound. They will think themselves best to protect the keys unless persuaded otherwise."

Josh looked like he wanted to snap back, but Mara slid her hand into his. Like the ice she could summon, her touch seemed to cool Josh enough that he could bite his tongue.

Cale glowered at their interconnected hands before he realized he was doing it. He shook himself and faced the leaders again. Despite how infrequent all three of them being in the same place had become, Cale often found himself glaring at their affectionate gestures since they'd returned.

Maybe he wasn't truly mad at the two, but that didn't mean he couldn't be annoyed at how their relationship dragged them into trouble. At least, that was the only thing he could attribute the curdling of his gut to.

Xander leaned forward on his desk and rested his chin on his steepled hands as he glanced between Joel and Josh. A normal enough gesture, but a clear order to focus. Although Joel almost schooled his features back into neutrality, he couldn't quite dismiss the disdainful curl to his lip. Josh, meanwhile, didn't hide his annoyance.

Once he was satisfied, Xander spoke again. "Your team will join Hisato, Ioana, as well as Sages Kaitlyn and Tafari, in their mission to persuade the Elementals' council to hand over the keys. Although they may be powerful, we cannot risk the Shadow Knights tracking them down and stirring trouble, especially now that keeping magic a secret from humans is harder than it has ever been. From what we've heard, there's a great danger lurking amongst the Elementals, though we aren't quite sure what that danger is. A friend amongst the Elementals has simply warned us to be prepared.

"This said, we did not only decide to add you for extra protection. Cale, I'm sure you've wondered multiple times already why I called you here as well."

"Yes, I have," Cale admitted. Having it addressed loosened something inside him, and he relaxed enough to lean back against the wall. "I trusted you had your reasons, though."

"That we do. Elementals are the beings most familiar with the Energy Realm. Dragons go there when they die so cannot return; monsters don't truly have a soul as we know it. The Elementals, though? Many of their fellows live there, and have lived there for centuries. Communication between the two realms for them may not be easy, but it happens, so they may have knowledge of this Soul Sickness."

"So, you're saying they may know a cure?" Mara leaned forward, and though she controlled her tone, she couldn't hide the hint of excitement within it.

Xander nodded. "If anyone will, it'll be them."

"And you better believe we won't leave until they tell us everything they know," Josh said. He didn't hide his glee as he beamed at Cale. "We're finally getting somewhere!"

That something that had loosened before suddenly slammed back together, sending a wave of rage reverberating through him. "Ifs and mays aren't guarantees, Joshua," he said, his anger turning his words icy.

Josh threw up his hands. "Well, it's the best lead we've gotten. What, did you give up without telling anyone?"

A sudden tingling sensation overtook Cale, and then Mateo said, "Josh, don't."

Cale's jaw ticked at the force he required not to snap at the empath. He should be grateful that Mateo was trying to steer Josh away from his usual pushing. It wasn't as if Cale could put words to the pain this turn of events caused.

He hadn't given up, but he'd gotten somewhere closer to acceptance. This wiped all that progress away, because hope could have the power to lift a person from the abyss, but the illusion of hope sent them tumbling even further down than they had been before.

And he didn't know if he'd survive that fall.

"Regardless, I won't fight you on sending me, and I thank you for your trust. Whether they have information or not, I will do what I can to assist with the mission," Cale said, staring directly at Xander. He couldn't stand to see the pain on his teams' faces. Not that Xander's concern was much better.

For a tense moment, Cale worried Xander would push, but then a sudden thought washed the worry from his face. "Understood. The mission will be lucky to have you. If all is settled, you will be leaving in three days. We'll need as many hands here as we can get in the coming days. For now, everyone is dismissed."

Cale kept a polite pace leaving the office, but as soon as he was out of the door's view, he nearly sprinted to get away before anyone could talk to him.

Later, he would face his friends. For right now, he needed to get back to Ezraim.

Without his dragon's support, Cale didn't know how else to handle the phantom chasing in his wake.

Ifs. Mays. They were horrible, uncertain words.

But worse than their uncertainty was that he so badly wanted to hope, illusion or not.

Fun Fact: A song that really fits Cale is Surface Pressure from Encanto, and I can just really imagine him currently having that house fall on him.  Sorry, Cale 😅

There was something very fun of showing the Josh/Joel head butting from the PoV of someone oblivious of Josh basically blackmailing Joel xD Also, Cale is not handling any of this very well 😬 Then again, how could he?  Basically just had what he built his life around ripped away from him.  But there's hope!  The Elementals may have the answers they seek!  Come on, Cale.  Let yourself hope v_v 

Let me know your thoughts on the chapter down below, and if you enjoyed it, don't forget to vote and comment! I also have a discord open to anyone who wants to join, and we have a section there to discuss the book :D Let me know if you want to join!