So an update!! its been couple of weeks right? IDK feels like a while.... but this is me... so hehe! this ones kinda adorable!!... hehe Megamind... sorry families watching that in the other room! im too anti-social for that!... so the name sucked, im terrible at chapter headings.... well you guys know that!!

Mikey's POV

That name, so often said, it made no sense. The tall rats eyes were often falling on me. I frowned, the way they all treated me... it hurt, so soft? Why it sounded like they were trying to make me happy? Tears, I saw them so often. Why?!

"So you got anything?" Blue masked, Leonardo looked at the girl wearing Yellow. April I vaguely remembered her taking to that name. 

"I'm sorry Leo, his minds all blank, no Shredder... just nothing." Her voice sounded like she wanted more, Leo ran his tongue over his lips. 

"You tried April." His hand was shaking as he put it on her shoulder.  I pulled my head back, knowing all eyes would turn to me. 

"Mikey." I said nothing, Mikey was someone different to who I felt. Michelangelo was part of something, he belonged. I... I didn't. I turned my head. 

"Don't call me that." I begged, I felt like theft, a liar taking over someones body claiming they were them. But I wasn't...

"Mikey, why not?" That was Raph's voice, fear was entering it. 

"That's not me. I'm not him." My voice choked, I tried to run, hands grabbed my shoulders. 

"Mikey please." Raph said softly.

"I said don't call me that!" I growled, I had to act differently, not like this Michelangelo...

"Mikey," Leo snapped, he pulled my head to his three brothers and friend. "Listen to me," He ordered. "I don't care what you think." His lip was quivering, trying not to cry. No stop! What was this feeling? This wasn't me, my knees were buckling. Why? My body was failing to hold its self. I felt arms grab me. 

"It's alright Mikey, we're here for you. No matter what." Was whispered in my ear. I nodded into the plastron.  Tears. 

"Tell me its going to be ok?" I sobbed. 

"I cannot promise anything my son," The rat said quietly. "But you must stay with us and we will not leave your side." I belonged here. I closed my eyes, yes...

Raph's POV

"Right we need answers." Leo said loudly next to me, Donnie was next to me, April by his side. 

"I think..." Donnie began.

"Yeah that's gonna help." I couldn't help mutter, I wasn't my fault, my and my temper, Splinter often scolded me about controlling it, but to me it was defensive. No one knows, no one thinks your weak. There were days it hurt, I struggled to put on the mask, but I had to. Leo's eyes met mine, he knew. One of the reasons being so close was annoying was because hiding emotions was kinda hard. Mikey did it, the voice in the back of my mind whispered. 

"Shut up." I growled as the painful memories came back.

"Sorry." Donnie muttered, guilt fell over me, I frowned, this wasn't his fault, we needed each other. This was something that wasn't we could just sleep on it, or just rely on Leo to work out.

"No, I'm sorry." I bowed my head. Leo's eyes met mine. "

"It'll be ok." He tried, I shook my head we all knew it wasn't going to be, not for a long time...

"Mazzter Shredder, we have not been able to relocated Michelangelo, the turlezz must have him." Stockman fly flew around the Shredder. I heard Donnie curse next to me. I turned my head to see Leo paling. I closed my eyes, this was getting worse the more they found out about it. 

"I need more Stockman information, you promised me this would work!! " Shredder growled, the mutant fly bowed. 

"It will Mazter." He stumbled over his name. 

"Your head is on the line." His cloak swept the floor and he left. My body regained its self, I quickly realized how much i'd been shaking. April put her arm around me. 

"You guys need to go." April said quietly.

"Yes, yes we do," Leo stood up. I followed. I noticed Donnie couldn't take his eyes off the mutant fly, tears were lightly sprinkled over his soft brown eyes. I clenched in my jaw, my throat digging for comfort.

"It'll be alright, we'll work something out... we always do..." Stupid, stupid stupid!! Donnie gave a low nod.

"Hopefully." His voice broken and struggling to work out his mouth. 

"So, this was all part of Shred-head's plan." I growled, the hatred spilling out. I crossed my arms. Setting my eyes on the floor, Leo nodded, I could see April doing nothing, she understood we needed space. 

"I... I gotta go, Casey will be waiting..." I could hear the obvious lie in her voice, she was trying to help... How long will this take? We always knew life was never going to be normal. Mutant turtles never deserved an easy life. We were freaks, never meant to be... But did we deserve this?  Our own brother, our baby. One of my best friends. 

"Bye." Leo croaked, the sound of her leaving was the last sound I heard till the memory washed over.

*************************************

"Waph!!" Mikey shouted in my ear. I closed my eyes, why? I waved my hand in his direction. The sound when skin was hit was amazing. I allowed a small smile. 

"Raphael." Splinter scolded from across the waterway. I bowed my head.

"Sorry sensei." I muttered.

"It's not me you should  'say sorry"  to." Splinter glared at me. I nodded.

"Right. I'm sorry Mikey." I said loudly. Mikey said nothing, his eyes seemed to be sending a message to me. Sad broken, defensive suddenly rolled over. WHAT WAS WRONG WITH MY LITTLE BROTHER? I narrowed my eyes, preparing to attack anyone or thing that had put Mikey in this position. I grabbed his arm pulling him into the hallway.

"What's wrong?" I demanded in a low voice. Mikey pulled in his chest, the red mark across his check made me feel guilty. 

"I... uh,"  Mikey dipped his head, Mikey's shoulders were low, sad. "I wanted to know if you'd go exploring with me.... in the sewers? Sensei says we can't go alone and..." I smiled. 

"Course I will little brother?" I put a friendly arm around him, the lack of excitement in the lair was building anger up in my chest. Mikey grinned, freckles lightly sparkling in the dim lights that Donnie and Splinter set up. 

"LAST ONE IN THE TUNNELS HATCHED FROM A ROTTEN EGG!!"  Mikey shouted, running forward. I grinned. 

"Then I'm gonna win!" Our laughter echoed in the stone walls.

****************************************************************

How simple life was back then, no troubles, no fear of people trying to kill us. Just us five, four brothers and their master. I buried my head into my knee pads, don't cry. Why was I crying? I felt weak, my whole life I failed to notice my little brothers pain, now it was gone. Now everything was gone. And it was all my fault...

Aww little Raphie... no bad me, dont call him that!... 

why not?

causes its not you... and people are reading this...

tch, they already know im insane and have a twisted soul... so its alright

*face palms* true

hehe! i love being insane!! MIKEY!!! we still love you!!  and you are you! it might be alright... maybe, sorry my baby i cant give spoilers... i want you! no.... bad girl!

*wimper*

im not taking that, just finish this

see thats why myself is annoying! not letting myself give spoilers when the readers have read important parts in the book! so mean! *gives death glare to self*

HAHA! XD

vote/comment/fav

-Ninja out