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Yep, thats how you explain this chapter!! Also really deep...

Takeshi's POV

I trudged down the alleyway. They'd come, I knew they were would be close. Time had passed slowly since that night. Light memories of Michelangelo's life had come, mainly through déjà vu. I was Tekashi, I wasn't him. I had my own memories, I'd some times find some other mutants and just get a glare of disgust. I always shook it off. I now wore a black cloak, adittional with a hood. A black vest over my plastron, and a black glove. 

"Alright we got your note." Raph's voice growled next to me.

"You came?" I allowed a smile to flicker on my lips. Leo walked towards me.

"What do you want..." He paused, as decided what to call me. I put my arm out. 

"Takashi." I offered. The glare on Donnie's face was obvious. He wanted Mikey back. The guilt was building up in my gutt. I lowered my eyes to the ground, don't let it take you.  I clenched my fist as the tears started to fall. I was a child. I wanted comfort, no one would reach for me. 

"Takashi?" Leo interrupted. I lifted my head. Could I tell them the truth? Could I trust them? They probably hated me... what I did... Who I killed. 

"I need help." I begged, trying to reach their eyes. Raph frowned. 

"Two years and your come now?" He frowned, a growl reaching up his throat. I took that in, two years. I closed my eyes. 

"Please." I fell to my knees, pushing my hand into the concrete. Leo frowned.

"What do you really want?" He gently put a blade to my throat. I clenched my fist, trying to keep my other side stable. I shook my head.

"Fine." I stood up, shaking my shoulders off, what did they know? Did they suffer the way I did? They had each other... me? I had no one... alone. It was the fate I accepted... but never wanted. I wanted to live, the breath in the air of freedom. Instead I was pushed in the mud, screaming rejecting. I was a mistake. I shouldn't of lived. Mikey... I shrugged the memory if this conversation off my shoulders. I took a final look at the turtles. Pity? Disgust? Taped across their faces were more emotions then I could pull in. 

Leo's POV 

I sat under the tree, Splinter's old spot. Shredder. This was all his fault. Raph tried to blame Takashi, but in the end it wasn't his fault. He was the voice of a memory of who Mikey was. The look he gave us, he wanted to understand. I shook my head. Stay alive, that was what Splinter would want. The day Splinter and Mikey died was embedded into my mind.

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~The next day after...~

I woke up panting, Donnie put an arm on my shoulder. 

"Wait, Leo." He shot at me. I relaxed myself back on the cot. My wound was screaming... that meant... I closed my eyes. The tears were not shame. Donnie rubbed my neck. 

"Where's his body?" I asked, once he helped me sit up. Donnie waved a fearful arm towards a white blanket. I nodded my head. It was not a lie that I'd become more harder. Pushing my limits, rougher on my family. I tried to help it, but I couldn't. Splinter was dead, someone needed to guide the Hamato clan. 

"It's that persons fault." Raph growled. I shook my head."

"He's just..." The words wouldn't come. What was he? Who was he? He wasn't Mikey... I closed my eyes. Thoughts weren't forming place. Hands couldn't find a place to stay. The truth was sinking in. We were alone. I was alone... I was so alone.

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I was crying... 

"Fearless?" Raph growled, I opened my eyes, focusing them straight at the red masked turtle. 

"What?" Raph sat next to me, taking my hand. 

"It's gonna be ok." He had an arm around my neck, hugging me tightly.  I nodded, but I didn't. Nothing wasn't going to be ok... Not anymore. Several months ago... I believed life was hard. Life couldn't get worse. We had each other. Once we together... everything would be ok. That's how we lived. You hold on to each other. Now we were pulling apart. Go back to start... go back to the moment you realise its all your fault, all because you were a horrible leader. Because you played with fire, seeing how far you can push your family. Raph was rocking me softly, my sobs weren't stopping. That night destroyed me. I pulled myself apart after that. I wanted Splinter back... I couldn't get him back. I became fearless. I became strong. I became... I died. 

Raph's POV

~2 months after~

Leo... suddenly all my worry was shot towards him. I was known for over training myself... but Leo. It was like he was trying to please some one. Like he was trying to be someone he wasn't. I gripped the side of the dojo door. Leo was gripping his swords tightly. The pant was drawing deeply in his chest. Leo looked at me. Fear, the monster Leo'd become. I bit my lip in. 

"Leonardo!" I jumped at him, Leo dodged, grabbing my arm and flipping me to ground. I groaned. Leo was glaring at me. 

"RAPHAEL! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" He growled. I shook my head. This wasn't right. My temper wasn't something I held with pride, but it was who I was. Not Leo. Leo was like a hero. A warrior. Now he was a shadow. He wanted life to be ok... He wanted Splinter to be alive. I smiled. 

"Leo!" I touched his plastron. "It's me... see?" I said softy. Leo closed his eyes, the way he moved was like he was in a war. Within himself. He shook his head. 

"SHUT UP!!" He yelled out, punching my chest. I rolled over. 

"Leo! This isn't you!" I flipped behind him. 

"Raph...please."He begged, knees buckling. I grabbed him.

"I'm here bro..." I promised, rubbing his shell softly. I was always here. That's how I became someone else. We all changed that night. Leo stepped up to lead our clan, I became the older brother... Donnie getting him out of his lab was impossible. He re-built Metal Head. It scary if you didn't hear him talking to the robot. This was our life. The  two people that kept our sanity straight were gone... all gone 

Leo!!! My baby!! aww raphie!! Takashi you'll understand who you are... hopefully!! i'll decide your fate... haha lol I already know whats gonna happen with you!... but apparently my mind says im not allowed to spoil.... meanie conscious XD ^^

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-Ninja out