Bad thoughts(Chapter 18)

Sorry you had to wait a while i had a church camp thing...Trek..if you guys know what that is... yeah guys I'm Mormon!! (Christan)OK this is the real update guys!! that was the last time i'd use my Oma's old laptop to write out a chapter...*sighs* but its over!! umm also i should say this out there is a suicide attempt in this chapter i dont know if any of you or how many of my faithful readers are sensitve about that topic so i should warn you ^_^ yeh I DO NOT support the idea of it...I just felt like I wanted to freak you guys out!! yep..this update took 6 hours of me sitting on the computer, listening to emo (im not emo just like the style) music,rping  pinteresting..lots of voltron fan art!! i recenetly binged the entire series! (Legendary defenders..the most recent version )hehe anyway yeah this is chapter 18!!


Leo's  POV 

That was the night I left Mikey I sighed and walked towards the bathroom, the sweat was beading down my forehead.

"Just calm down." I muttered to myself and set myself in the mirror, painfully gripping the edge to steady my rocking knees. My image hit me. I hadn't looked in the mirror in over a year. My eyes were bagging, I was so pale it almost hurt, my skin dry and weak, painfully pulling itself over my boned cheeks. I chuckled.

"That's how you wanna look when you die Leo?" I chuckled and drew out the knife. My eyes flashed in the knife.Did I really wanna do this? End it right here right now? Donnie coughed outside the door.

"Um Leo..what are you doing?"

I jumped and looked at Donnie. 

"Why do you care?" I quickly snapped. Donnie recoiled. 

"Well I need to wash my hands." He waved his hands weakly.

"There's a sink in the kitchen." I said coldly.

"Whats with the knife?" He asked, giving me a feared look. "Your not going to start cutting are you?" He was shaking as he said the words, I tried not to smile..if he knew...what my real plans were.  I forced the laugh. Donnie was looking me dead in the eye. 

"Fine." He grumbled, obviously giving up the battle... 

The only noise was the squeal than ran through the lair, as Donnie turned on the plumbing. I looked straight in the mirror.  I carefully closed the door. My heart was pounding. To be honest I don't know why I was running away like this, but I'd seen how I'd hurt Donatello. I didn't know who Raphael was anymore. Michelangelo..my poor innocent brother where was he in the long scheme of things? The victim. My hand was shaking as I rose it to my neckline. My only regret...I never tried. I tried not to look in the mirror..had my eyes changed so much in a year? My mind seemed to trying to distract itself from my current position. Look Leonardo, the walls are brown.  

"Good bye." I slit the knife over my throat. I felt the effects immediately, my lungs went to draw in the breath. My heart slammed up air,  it needed air. WHERE WAS THE AIR?! The blood was trickling down my neck. My knees fell out of its steady position I was unaware of until my knees hit the ground. 

"HHgnnnn." I moaned, I could feel the death enveloping me, my lungs pressed out for air. They say you can live around  three minutes without air. I felt that time had long over gone. My blood was starting to slowly fill my mouth, my eyes dripped close. I was almost ready to snap my eyes open and stand up. There was something soothing about the open arms of death. No poor pain. 

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I was drawn towards was light pulling itself blurred black.

"Why Leonardo? Why run?"

I was pulled back into the dark...'Because...because' I wanted to stutter out. My body couldn't...fading out.

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Mikey's POV

(Michelangelo) Takashi interrupted. (I believe we need to pee.) I jumped, holding back the laugh. Raph would slap me bringing up what was going on down there. I frowned, coming into attention of the tugging feeling... Ooooooooooh that's what that was.

"Should we?" I asked standing up.

(Yes.)

I stood up, I passed the bathroom the door was rocking slightly. I frowned and nudged it with my foot. Liquid was edging under the door.

"Shell." I cursed, this must of meant a pipe had broken. I shoved the door with my shoulder, grunting as I pushed passed the barrier. An arm flopped in front of the door. The scream reached my throat. Pale, weak...green and lifeless. Shoving the rest of the door my eyes met Leo. A slit was across his neck. I let out the scream of pure horror. What had Leo done? I looked around the room there had to be a murderer hiding in here. The truth creeped up my spine...Leo had killed himself...

"Le..." My legs gave way, taking them around Leo's lifeless body. My arm brushed passed a pulse on his neck. My heart stopped, Leo's pulse was weak, barely supported...but there..."DONNIE!! DONNIE!" I screamed, too scared to get up and run towards the lab, to leave Leo. I shut off Takashi's yelling voice. Donnie pounded towards the bathroom.

"Mikey what?..." He looked at Leo. The tears were streaming down my face, blurring off the rest of the world.

"You have to save him...please... I know all the crap he's given you..but I want him to give another chance...I never gave Leo a chance..I...want my brothers back." I sobbed, rocking my body forward and backwards. Why did I do all this? Why did I cry that day two years ago? Everything fell downwards after that... The pain in my heart set ablaze in my family, took everything from the inside. Donnie was looking at me curiously, like he was trying to understand my words. I tightened my expression. "Donatello...please." It took all my strength the hold the tears back. Donnie turned on his heel.

"He'll need an oxygen tank...Mikey try and cover up his wound with bandages..." Donnie muttered quickly, I nodded and leaned over Leo's body to grab the bandages from the bathrooms draw, dabbing them on Leo's neck. Donnie slowly placed a breathing mask over Leo's mouth. I was holding Leo, too scared to move my position, or Leo's...

"What the shell are you doing!?" Raph demanded. I looked up.

"Leo tried to kill himself." I explained.

"And your saving him...Donatello?" Raph cocked his head. Donnie nodded.

"It relaxes the voice...doing what I know...I know science...I think..." Donnie stuck his tongue out his mouth. Raph's mouth tightened.

"You know you this is Leo right Donnie?" Raph looked at both of us, eyes skimming over Leo. Donnie looked up at Raph,  releasing his grip on the needle he was gently stitching Leo's neck with.

"Honestly I don't know why I'm doing this...please just let me...do this...please..."


I'm honestly happy i got to re-write the end..like i said this took me 6 hours..sorta so had time to write it slowly other than just quickly doing the whole thing so i could go to sleep!! yep guys appreciate this!! um...words...once again I DONT SUPPORT SUICIDE OR CUTTING OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT!! but yeah.. sooo is leo gonna live? is he gonna die?! idk i havent decided yet...im kidding he ______________________________....... seya guys next month

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-Ninja out


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