For IzKatiebug

I sat there. Alone, sad, crying, depressed. Why did it have to be me? What did I ever do wrong?

I'm tired of being what you want me to be
Feeling so faithless, lost under the surface

I laid there sadly. Pony walked in with some ice cream.

"Hey," he said and I rolled my eyes.

"Leave me be Pone," I said and he nodded walking back out.

I don't know what you're expecting of me
Put under the pressure of walking in your shoes

I sat there looking at the blade on the nightstand. I picked it up and started cutting. It's not like anyone would miss me anyway.

Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow

Each cut I cried. I cried and cried.

Every step that I take is another mistake to you

I shook my head violently. I wanted to die. I couldn't tell you why.

Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow

"Soda"

I jumped up startling myself.

"You need to come in. Boss said if not you're fired"

I got up grabbing my DX jacket slipping it on. I left the sleeves down so no one saw my cuts. No one could know.

I've become so numb, I can't feel you there
Become so tired, so much more aware

I trudged into the DX and stood behind the counter. Sad. Steve pat me on the back and continued to the back to work on the cars.

By becoming this all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you

I stood there until I heard the door open. Great.

"Welcome to the DX. How can I help you" I asked sadly and didn't even look up. It was silent so I was so confused.

I looked up to see a girl standing there with a sad look. She had medium brown hair that stopped at her back, baby blue eyes, plump pink lips, thick black eyelashes, curvy body and looked about 5'2. She looked familiar. I didn't know where from.

She walked over and grabbed my hands.

"You okay?"

"I don't know you," I said and she smiled sadly.

"Sydney. I was in your class when you went to school Soda. Remember? We were friends"

"Before you became a Soc"

I saw a look of hurt spread across her face. For some reason, it hurt me but I couldn't tell you why. I really couldn't.

"Sandy can go screw herself. She didn't deserve you"

How did she know?

Can't you see that you're smothering me?
Holding too tightly, afraid to lose control
'Cause everything that you thought I would be
Has fallen apart right in front of you

She looked me into my eyes and I couldn't meet hers. I don't know why. I heard a small sigh and she then moved my sleeves up. I ripped my arm from her and she jumped up over the counter grabbing my hands. I pulled away.

Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow

"If you don't want me here fine, I'll go. I was just hoping I could tell you the truth now that you're free from that bitch's grasp but whatever. Who cares. Obviously not you"

I stayed silent and watched her slowly walk away. Quickly I jumped over and ran in front of her stopping her. She stood there looking at me and I looked at her.

Every step that I take is another mistake to you

"What" she snapped.

"I'm sorry"

"What?"

Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow

"I'm just a screw-up. I miss her Syd. I really do. She was the love of my life. I love her"

She screamed in frustration and hit my chest repeatedly.

"WHY CAN'T YOU SEE SHE DOESN'T LOVE YOU! SHE DOESN'T DESERVE YOU!"

And every second I waste is more than I can take!

I stood there. Frozen. She was crying.

I've become so numb, I can't feel you there
Become so tired, so much more aware

"Syd, what is it" I whispered and she shook her head and walked away.

"I just wanted to tell you I love you...I guess it doesn't matter though" she whispered very softly.

By becoming this all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you

I completely froze. I just realized I never loved Sandy. At least not as much. Now I'm here standing thinking. Everything hitting me like a ton of bricks.

I ran over and pinned her against the wall and kissed her. She pushed me off shaking her head.

And I know I may end up failing too
But I know you were just like me with someone disappointed in you

"I don't wanna be a rebound Soda"

"Throughout my relationship with her, I realized through everything I thought of you. Doing all the things I did with her with you. That's why I was so happy"

"No, you were just happy with her. You love her"

"No, every single time she would do something I would think of you. It would just be something I never wanted to accept"

She looked at me shaking her head.

I've become so numb, I can't feel you there
Become so tired, so much more aware

I rolled up my sleeves and held them in front of her. I didn't even realize it either but I saw her name carved in my arms. She cried.

I held her head up and shook my head.

"I guess I never loved her. I guess I always wanted to be with you...you're out of my league though and I understand. Just know that I l-"

She then caught me by surprise by kissing me. My eyes widened before I melted into the kiss.

By becoming this all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you

Slowly I forgot about her. Everything I did with her replacing it with the memories I had with her. With Sydney.

I've become so numb, I can't feel you there

I pulled away and wiped her tears away.

"I love you," I said taking the risk.

I'm tired of being what you want me to be

"I love you too"

I smiled. I was happy. It was amazing.

I've become so numb, I can't feel you there

"Stop doing this though. It scares me" she said kissing my cuts and I smiled.

"I love you"

I'm tired of being what you want me to be

After that day it was just me and Sydney. We never got into fights or even broke up. We grew up, got married, and even started a family with each other. Together. Now I know if it wasn't for that one stupid relationship with Sandy I may have never found out that I secretly loved Sydney all along. Now I'm not afraid to tell her so because I love her and always will.