August 26, 2017

I woke up extra early on Saturday morning. It was so early that the sun wasn't even up yet. After a long first week of school, I had a great idea on how to recharge my social batteries.

I got out of bed and put a pair of jeans on and my gray sweatshirt. I checked the time, it was a little after 4am. I had some energy, which was very odd considering I am typically not a morning person. Maybe I was just excited, I tend to be able to function better if I'm excited about something.

I thought it would be fun to take a little trip up to the rural town of Windrixville. I desperately wanted to see the sunrise, and the top of Jay Mountain was the best spot to do just that. The drive wasn't drastically long, and I'd get there a lot faster than we did on the train if I drove like a mad man, like Dally. I had plenty of time.

I shot a quick text to my parents, telling them that I will be gone by the time they woke up. I did not want them to worry about where I was if they noticed my car wasn't in the driveway.

I turned the stereo up high, and sang along to my favorite playlist until I reached a local coffee shop that was on the way. I remembered how much I wanted a hot chocolate the first time I watched the sunrise up there, so I was taking my own advice.

The drive was pretty easy. I drove on a lot of highways, passing less and less cars the further out to Windrixville I got. I had to cross some train tracks, and practically followed my footprints down a dirt road until I spotted Jay's Mountain. I pulled off to the side of the road and put my car in park. From where I was, I could remember looking over and seeing the church clear as day. But now, it was invisible.

I began my hike up the hill with the hot chocolate in my warm hand. I was surrounded by farmland. The cliff was just a cliff now, and the church was completely destroyed by the fire. The city did not even bother to clean up the remains. The roof was smashed on the ground, the walls were falling apart, and everything was charred black. It brought back some alarming flashbacks, but I could handle it.

I did not dare walk through the remains of the church to get to the cement steps that I knew were in the back of the building. Even if I wanted to, I physically would not be able to. The roof had caved to the ground. It would be impossible to walk through without needing to move the debris out of the way and risk getting buried under it.

I slowly walked around the church until I reached the back, studying everything and comparing it to what I remember it looking like. I could still see the ghosts of Ponyboy, Johnny, and I playing cards on those steps, the boys smoking their cigarettes, and us choking down the horrendous bologna sandwiches.

There were some splintered pieces of wood on the steps so I brushed them away before sitting. I took a sip of my hot chocolate and admired the view of the incoming dawn. The fresh perfume of the mountain grass and crisp air burned my nose, but it made me feel at peace.

I looked over at the water pump, I got a flashback of when I had to cut the boys hair after we got up here. I could still smell bologna, hell, I can still taste the bologna. I haven't had a bite since I was here in Windrixville last, and I do not think I could eat it ever again.

I stood up and walked toward the edge of the cliff and looked down. It was the same, stunning view just as before. Just with more tiny buildings and tiny dots for cars. I bet at night when all the lights are on is very pretty. I could remember practically seeing the Milky Way galaxy up in the sky.

Sunrise rolled around, and I brought my attention to the sky. The sun leaked above the horizon, and filled the sky with its golden glow. There were some red that filled out to gold. The clouds were glistening with a silver lining, and the sunbeams weee dancing in the sky. The clouds were placed perfectly away from the ball of fire in the sky, but when the light shined on them, it made the gorgeous sunrise even brighter.

"Beautiful, ain't it?" I heard behind me. I was startled by the voice and jumped out of my skin, frantically looking behind me. It was only Ponyboy.

"Ponyboy!" I gasped with my hand over my beating heart. "You scared the hell out of me!"

"Sorry," he chuckled. He came trudging through the overgrown grass to sit next to me on the steps.

"How long have you been here? And how did you get here?" I asked.

"Just a few minutes ago. I hopped a bus. I've come up here a few times now. Remember when we watched that sunrise with Johnny?"

"Yeah, I do. I remember your poem too. Nothing Gold Can Stay."

"You remembered."

"Of course I did."

"Boy, ever since I heard that poem, I can't get that out of my head."

"It's a good one," I said, looking back at the sky.

"It sure is," he sighed. "And that song you told us about. Is that song from now?"

"The 80's," I countered.

"So... not from Canada?"

I chuckled, "no, not from Canada."

"Can I assume that everything you said was from Canada, is in fact not from Canada?"

"None of it was from Canada."

"Shoot, I figured," he chuckled. "Man, I really could use a cancer stick right about now."

"No, Pony. Aren't you going to quit?"

"I wasn't planning on it," he laughed. "Wait, I hope it's still here." Pony ran to the water pump and started digging around the dirt with his fingers around the pipe in the ground.

"What?" I asked. "You are just embarrassing yourself."

"Found it!" He gasped. He held a couple boxes in his hands and dusted the dirt off. He came back to the steps and I saw that it was a box of Kools and a box of matches. "Johnny hid an extra box over there, he was afraid that you were going to chuck our other boxes off the cliff."

"Damn, that would have been a good idea." I took a sip of my hot chocolate. I offered my cup to Pony before he got his mouth all smokey. He took a sip then handed it back to me.

"I can't wait for a smoke." He struggled to open the box. "It's been far too long."

Pony stuck a cigarette in between his lips and struck the match on the cement. Darry has been really cracking down on him for smoking since he wants to join the varsity track team. I don't think I've seen him smoke in a while.

"But you have been so good," I whined.

He muffled something I could not understand, trying to keep the cigarette between his lips. He lit the cigarette and blew smoke into the atmosphere. "Glory, oh how I miss this."

I shook my head. "I'm still very against it. But hey, if you want to die from lung cancer, fine by me."

There was a moment of silence before he failed to blow a smoke ring. You'd think he would have figured it out by now.

"These are actually really stale," Ponyboy said, followed by a cough.

"Gross," I mumbled.

"Yeah, but I'm gonna smoke 'em anyway."

"Ew," I chuckled.

"Just being here brings back so many memories," he said softly. Probably to take the attention off his deteriorating cigarettes.

"So many," I mumbled. I took another sip of my warm coco then said, "I still can't believe we saved those kids."

"Yeah. We were heroes. Ain't that something?" He successfully blew out a smoke ring. "I remember looking into those parent's eyes as they thanked us for saving their kids' lives. I'd do it all again too. How old would they be now? Fifty-five? Sixty?"

"Just about," I guessed. "How do you like the high school so far?"

"It's strange. Man, ain't no one knows what I'm talking about half the time. They stare at me like I have five heads!"

"It's just something to get used to." I gulped down the rest of my hot chocolate.

I looked out to the golden sunrise, entranced by the orange. I was right that morning. It wasn't over, I changed everything. One little moment or one action can alter the course of so many peoples lives, this time it was for the better.

"Can I ask you something, Bri?"

"Of course."

"Why did you try to get Johnny and I outta that park? You know, the night Bob died."

"Because I knew that Bob was going to die," I told him in a low voice. I knew we were going to talk about this sooner or later. It has been eating at him. I love Pony, but when he's upset he sulks within view. He has been sulking for a while now.

"How did you know that?"

"From a book."

"What book?"

"One that you write." I think we've already told him about it before but I couldn't discuss it much further.

"Why did I write it?"

I sighed softly while I thought about what I should say next. I was tired of keeping it from him, so I thought he should know the truth. The whole truth. "Pony, can you keep a secret?"

"Anything."

"Me going to 1965 was definitely an accident, but I don't think it was a mistake."

He squinted his eyes at me in confusion. "What do you mean?"

"I—" I exhaled shakily. "The ending was... different."

"What ending?"

"This whole thing. Bob. Going on the run. The church. All of it."

"What was supposed to happen?" He asked curiously.

"Remember when we got back from eating lunch and we saw that the church was on fire?" I asked.

"Yeah?" He took another drag of his cigarette.

"Johnny went in with you."

"No, he didn't. You did."

"No, I mean he went in with you before I went back in time."

"Oh. He went in because you weren't there?"

I nodded. "Because I wasn't there. But Pony... Johnny doesn't come back out."

Pony's eyes widened and he slumped down. "He didn't come back out?"

"No. The roof fell on him and Dally had to go in and get him. He got burned really bad and his back broke because a piece of the roof fell on him."

"What happened then?" Pony asked with big eyes.

"Johnny dies at the hospital the next day, right after the rumble. He died with you and Dally in the room."

I saw chills raise on Pony's tanned arms. "He was supposed to die?"

I nodded and continued with a strained voice, "um... Dally suffers some sort of mental breakdown and he robs a convenience store a few blocks away from the hospital with that gun he had been carrying around at the time."

"But it wasn't loaded, they couldn't have put him in the slammer for that long," Pony pointed out.

"The cops didn't know that when he pointed it at them," I stated slowly.

Pony was silent for a second. "Did they shoot him?"

"Yeah. A few times."

"Oh, God."

"That's what would have happened if I didn't stop Johnny from going into that church. This church." I flung my arm up to gesture at that very church just behind us. I guess we will all meet our end anyway, no matter if we meet it young or old.

"That's why you knew where the kids were, how many there were, and why you were just chucking them out the window. I always wondered that."

"If we weren't quick enough, I would have died the way Johnny was supposed to. But at least you guys would have been okay. You even said that their deaths broke up the rest of the gang."

"Bri, are you kidding? You're a part of us. We crumbled when we found out you left. Now that you bring up the robbing thing, after you left Dally mentioned to me something about how he was going to pull some sort of stunt like that when he found out that you left but he had changed his mind."

My eyebrows raised. "He was going to?"

Pony nodded. "Yeah. I mean, he didn't go through with it but it was on his mind. I guess he's always kinda thought about doing something stupid like that anyways."

"He is unstable."

"Yeah. I think you help keep him grounded though. Without you, I think Dally would have ended up dead regardless. I don't know how Soda woulda taken it if you died. Hell, I don't know how I would have taken it if you died."

"I'm not going anywhere anytime soon, I promise."

"I'm glad you're in my life. I don't think I've been able to tell you before, but I'm really glad I met you."

I smiled at him softly. Gently, I said, "I'm glad you're in my life too, Pony."

We sat in silence for a little longer, watching as the colors disappeared and turned into a hazy blue to commence the new day.

"You aren't going to tell anyone, are you?" I asked.

Pony shook his head and let out a small, "no."

"Thanks. I wouldn't want any of them to get freaked out or anything."

"Of course, Bri. I'll take it to the grave."

"Thank you," I stated.

"Stuff like this really gets me thinking about my future. I told you before that most people get stuck in Tulsa for life. I don't want that for me. I don't see that as my future."

I smiled softly. "Good. Get out. You'll do great no matter what you decide to do with your life."

He took another drag of his cigarette and asked, "hey, Bri?"

"Yeah?"

"I really miss my folks."

I took a deep breath and said, "I know."

"I visited their grave yesterday. It doesn't look like anyone has been there in a while... it's sad. The grass was overgrown, and I could barely see their names in their gravestone because it ain't been cleaned in who knows how long. It's like they are... forgotten. I don't like going there by my lonesome."

"I'll go with you."

"You will?" He asked.

"Yeah, of course. Whenever you want."

"I want to see them again. They ain't here to show us the way. Darry, Soda, and I shouldn't have to fend for ourselves. They work themselves to the bone. I think about them all the time. I miss them."

I clenched my jaw and peered down at my empty cup. I felt my heart start to beat a little faster and my face got warm. It was always in the back of my mind that he would bring this up, but I just hoped that he wouldn't. But if I was in his position, I'd do anything I could to see my parents again.

"Do you think that when Lillian fixes the Time Machine, she will let us see them one last time?"

I let out the breath I was holding. "You know we can't do that."

"Come on, please?" He begged with his voice beginning to break. "We won't tell them anything. I just need to see them one last time."

"What if you see your past selves?" I asked. "It could be too risky."

Ponyboy sighed and said, "yeah, you're right."

"I can ask, but I don't want to promise anything."

He smiled softly. "Thank you."

"Want to go back? I can drive so you don't have to hitch a ride on the bus again."

"Sure. Thanks."

Pony and I stood up together and we dusted ourselves off with the dirt and the old soot that clung to our jeans.

"But, the cigarettes and matches stay here."

"Why?" He whined.

"You want to make track this year, right?" I asked.

He mumbled, "yeah."

"Then leave the boxes here."

"Fine. Let me bury them."

Pony was only burying them because he knew that he could just come back and smoke up here without anyone bugging him about it. He walked back to the water pump and buried them back where he found them. I was already down by my car by the time he came back with his cigarette still in between his lips.

I picked it out of his mouth and threw it on the dirt ground, and stomped on it with my heel.

"Hey—woah. What was that for?" He asked.

"Not in my car."

He rolled his eyes. "You seem so tense lately. You know, cigarettes would help calm your nerves."

"I happen to enjoy having clean lungs," I stated.

"Nobody likes a kiss-ass, okay? We get it, you're better than the rest of us," Pony said teasingly.

I laughed at his joke as I unlocked the car doors. I got on my phone for a second so I could pull up the playlist I made specifically for when any member of the gang is in my car so they could listen to music I knew that they would recognize and like from the 60's. It has artists like Little Richard, Chuck Berry, Sam Cooke, Hank Williams, Fats Domino, Elvis, and The Beatles.

We listened to a lot of music and we talked quite a bit too. At one point Pony mentioned he was hungry, so we stopped at a drive-thru coffee stand outside of Windrixville to get some breakfast. I got an iced blueberry London fog with a cheese danish and Ponyboy got a blueberry muffin.

"I could really go for some chocolate cake right about now," Ponyboy said as he stuffed his face with the muffin.

"Me too," I agreed, stopping slowly for a red light. "You got any at your apartment?"

"I think we do in the ice box—I mean, the fridge."

By the time we got to his apartment I was pretty hungry since all I could think about on the drive was chocolate cake. The guys keep trying to guilt me into making it for them, but I keep putting it off and Darry or Soda end up making it. I love how that tradition in the Curtis house came with them to 2017.

I walked up with Pony to the apartment and he raided the fridge. He found the cake and cut us two even slices to enjoy. I tried not to eat mine too quickly. I savored it. It was like nothing else mattered in the world besides me finishing that decadent cake.

We were quick to realize that no one was at the apartment. It wasn't too early, but it was still early for them. I noticed the note on the counter in Soda's handwriting that said that they were going over to Lillian's house.

"How does everyone like their new jobs?" I asked after swallowing a bite.

"I think they like them," Ponyboy said, wiping his mouth with a napkin. "Darry don't have to work so hard anymore."

"That's good. The poor guy needed a break."

"After this, do you want to go to Lillian's?" He asked. "Since everyone else is over there already."

"Yeah, sure."

I used my fork to scrape any last of the frosting that was stuck to the plate. Pony said it was his turn to do the dishes anyways so he washed our plates and put them on towels to dry. They didn't have a dish washer in the 60's, but they have one now. They just don't use it.

I showed Darry how to use it during the first week they lived here. He kept asking me questions about how the dishwasher worked and how would he know if it did a good job. He used dish soap instead of dishwashing detergent which made thick foamy suds spill through the dishwashers door and it flooded their kitchen. He hasn't let anyone touch it since.