CHAPTER 4

I kicked the edge of my bed and rushed back to my room. I threw on a sweater and a pair of jeans. Anger was still coursing through my veins, I picked up a pillow and threw it across the room.

I always had a hard time with feelings, I wanted to stop the pain and the anger but I couldn't- which made me so annoyed and aggressive- sometimes even a little bit violent. Well, not in the way you're thinking- I didn't abuse people or try to hurt others but my thoughts went into a somewhat darker place in which I wanted people to feel the same amount of pain I did. I know it makes me a horrible person...but I can't change it- like most things in my life.

I decided to go out to calm myself- I didn't care what would happen if my dad left, didn't care what would happen if my life fell apart or even if the earth got destroyed. I just wanted my life back. I hurried down the stairs stepping out of my house. I realized it was around 4 in the afternoon and I had lunch at school, I grabbed some money from my purse to get ice cream on the way to my spot. Oh, the spot.

It's a lake about thirty-minutes (on foot) away from my house- it's located in a very isolated area, it's almost a forgotten place which nobody knows about- except me and my sister. We used to go there alone every single day, the lake was beautiful. The body of crystal clear, blue water looked beautiful each evening as the sun reflected into it. The vibrant and dull colours of dusk morphed into one and the view was breathtaking and refreshing each time you would see it. You could see all of this from a wooden bench placed a few feet from the lake. Behind the bench was a gorgeous forest- the Golden Chestnut Covert. The forest was stunning, also isolated. I was pretty sure a few people knew about it but nobody was ever there so I claimed the spot for myself. The forest was thick and dense, the towering and tall trees always had a sense of doom and inside the forest were scattered golden leaves. They looked magical sometimes- but they were just golden leaves. The forest also contained a lot of chestnut trees which led to its name.

So, I set off alone with just a couple bucks in my palms for a one hour walk to an isolated spot. What could go wrong?

I breathed in and walked for a long time, panting and reached the ice cream cart in about fifteen minutes, I handed the icecream man the crushed dollar bill and got a chocolate ice cream. I finished the dessert quickly and headed towards the spot. I arrived there sooner than I thought. I quickly went inside through the small opening between the bushes. I sat down on the bench and noticed that the cocktail blue shade of the sky was turning into a tar-black as the clouds moved towards me. The air whispered and a huffing wind rose blowing my hair to my east.

I anticipated that it was going to rain but I didn't mind. To me, the rain was just calming. The soft pitter-patter would sound like music to my ears, it formed a music pattern and soothed me when I was nervous.

I watched the still water until it started raining. The cold, persistent raindrops fell onto my sweater making it wet. I shivered but enjoyed the melody of the droplets as they fell onto the grass. The white noise of nature calmed me and it gently whisked down from the sky. It dripped on the flowers surrounding the lake, slowly trickling down my skin, it fell onto the bench. Each small blob of water looked powerful. I stared at the lake for who knows how long? But the ripples in the lake made by the rain were hypnotizing. I figured it was late since it was very late now, the rain hadn't completely stopped yet.

I decided to go back home and.....oh no. I had been here for hours...which probably meant that Ireshi had....told my mom and her dad...

An overwhelming sense of apprehension and worry came over me, I was glad that my parents were separating, it seems weird I know...but I didn't want my dad to play us around anymore. The part I was scared about was how my mom would react about the fact that I hid it from her...

A tear trickled down my cheeks as I furrowed my eyebrows and frowned. My breathing shallowed as my tears continued to pour out. I waited for a couple of minutes before drying my eyes and that's when I saw her. The blonde hair, the deep hazel eyes, the freckles and heart-shaped lips couldn't be mistaken. It was my sister.