CHAPTER 3

The room was intact, it seemed like it hadn't been opened in years now. Which could have been true, after her sister, Eislyn died my parents started to pretend like she never existed. At first, I had been so resentful but then I realized that was how my parents coped. By pretending that they weren't drowning in misery. By pretending that they were fine when they were ruined. In fact, that was how I coped too, but it never worked. Which was probably why it was so important that I finally tried to face my fears.

I stared at the pink bedsheet, which clearly had a lot of dust on it. I neared the bed and swiped my finger over the side table and the dust stuck to my fingers. I could almost sense my sister's presence in the room. The lavender scent that was issuing through every single item in the room, my sister always used to be obsessed with scents and...lavender was her favourite everything. I stopped myself from collapsing onto the floor in tears and shut my eyes for a second, letting a couple of tears fall onto the ground. I looked into the mirror on her dressing table, touching the perfumes and combs on the table. A few strands of blonde hair were twirled between the spikes of the comb.

I shut my eyes hoping I wouldn't have another anxiety attack. I sighed looking into the photo frame on the table. It had a picture of all of us, my mom, my dad and my sister and me. We looked so perfect, we were so perfect. But ever since Eislyn was gone, it was like we all had just broken into pieces. She was holding the entire family together. Or...maybe she knew. Maybe she also knew what Dad was doing...No, she wouldn't keep that from us, from me. The shot in the picture frame was from our trip to the zoo, it reminded me of how great our life was before she was gone. I could feel the pink walls close in, but I tried my best to avoid my fear.

I almost fell to the ground again but someone saved me and tapped my shoulder. I turned back to see Ireshi, her face was tear-stained. I took in a deep breath and said, "What's wrong?" "We need to talk," she whispered, her voice was shaky and the pain in her eyes concerned me but....I wasn't ready for another revelation that would shatter my heart. "Not now," I whispered, fiddling with the photo frame which was still in my hands. "What?" said Ireshi, spite emphasized in each word

"N-not now, Ireshi," I said, fear and the slightest bit of contempt laced between my words. "I...please," said Ireshi, the anger and fright in her voice were becoming more significant. I don't know if it was just the "heat of the moment" or just a stressful day, I lashed out. "No, Ireshi, I already said no! I'm tired of everything now." A single tear fell down my face but it was nothing compared to the look of horror and betrayal on Ireshi's face. I started stuttering an apology but Ireshi cut me off. "You know what, I'm done too! I'm done with not knowing who genuinely cares for me, not feeling validated or loved- even by my own best friend. Having my best friend ignore me when I-I- wanted to tell her that her dad is cheating on her with my mom," she said, tears flowing down her face now.

"I-what?" I said, my heart racing with fear and dread. So much dread, it was weighing on me. Ireshi didn't utter a single word, she just collapsed to the ground, dropping her brown backpack on the ground. I sat on the bed trying to sort out my thoughts and feelings and trying to figure out what I should say. I decided on, "How do you know?"

"He- I saw them at school today- right after you left- near my car, they were...close," said Ireshi, trembling. I attempted my hardest not to break into tears and have a panic attack- I sat on the ground, holding Ireshi and hoping, just hoping we wouldn't collapse.

"Did you...ever suspect?" she said, looking into my eyes as if she was searching for an answer. And here it comes, the moment which I dread.

"I-no."

But Ireshi had recognized the hesitation in my words and the falsehood in my eyes. "You did," she whispered in a soft voice. Her voice rose as she repeated the words. "I'm sorry...," I said, but it was too late. "You knew, Sierra! You knew and you lied!" she yelled, and the fury in her expression and tone was unmistakable. She swung her back over her shoulder, running out of her sister's room.