Diana's.P.O.V

Do you ever wonder how you became the person you are today? How you came to be in the place you are? Well I do. I can look at the past and despise the people who made me the way I am but I choose not to, that was before someone murdered my husband . Holding a long life grudge would only destroy the good side of me that can love and be loyal and be human. Yet once I do hold a grudge nothing can stop me from going on a killing spree. Now every good feeling like love, loyalty and understanding of others is gone. My humanity is gone. You can either be sad and want to die after a situation like that or like me gradually stop weeping and take a hold of yourself also taking your revenge. Deciding to bury my feelings and forget compassion was a very hard decision I made. I'd rather live my life free from pain than feel and be conquered by the decisions and actions of others. There is no one above me I rule myself I set my own rules and I do whatever I freaking want because I'm Delilah phoenix. And like a phoenix I will rise from the Ashes and rip people's hearts out if I have to.

"You holding on there? " Claire asked while I tightened the girth on bear. I stared at the worn leather straps for a while before building up the courage and looking at her.

"Yeah. " I stated walking away with a neutral facial expression. Just after my wedding we were found in the chapel. Mrs Fitz called for help and Connor was buried. They didn't know the reason to why we were in the church and I didn't tell them. They would feel sorry for me and I would hate myself for it. Mrs.Fitz and the priest kept quiet after I told them to and being found in the church with a bloody man in my arms did look suspicious. I was wrongly accused of murder and arrested . After the situation was explained by the witnesses the priest and Mrs Fitz, I was let free.

Clearing my throat I closed the door and took of my corset and shirt checking my side once more before our long journey back home.

"Damn it... " I looked at the wound that seemed to be infected. Let's say even with alot of whiskey the 1700 's wasn't very sanitary. I washed my side with alcohol and some cold water. I decided to take the easier way out and heated my sword. I pressed it to my side and squirmed a bit. It should close the wound and I should be okay for now.

The image of Connor in my arms played over and over in my mind Aswell as the happy moments we had together.

"Diana come..." Claire trailed off as she saw my tear stained face. I hid my face in shame.

"Are you okay?! Is it the wound! Jesus H.Roosevelt Christ!? You look weaker than you did yesterday all pale. " Claire said rushing to my side. I put my shirt down and gave her a small smile.

"I'm okay. It's okay. " I said numbly putting the corset and the top on. As soon as I was done I looked at worried Claire.

"I'm okay. It's okay. " I whispered to myself and then repeated it in my head like a mantra trying to convince myslef that I'm okay. It's okay.

"Come along then. " Confused Claire said walking out of the room. I followed her through the cold corridors. Our footsteps echoed off the walls making the place seem deserted.

I was a wreck and tried my best to hide it. I was happy Claire didn't ask me the reason to why I looked like a zombie because if she did I would totally loose it.

"Are you okay?! " Jamie asked me as soon as we reached the yard. Instead of answering I gave him a smile and walked past him getting up on Bear. I took a hold of the reigns and with shaky hands fixed the length of my stirrups.

"Did ye hear Connor was murdered last night." I listened into Dougals and Angus's conversation. Claire must have listened into the conversation too because she shot me a sorry and understanding look as soon as she heard the news.

So much has happened over the past few days everything is going in a fast pace. If I could get one last moment with Connor in his arms I would do anything. I never thought I would say that. It always sounded cheesy but know I understand.. I was so blind all along dismissing the concept of unconditional love. I got that with Robert but with Connor it was something else.

Me and his sister have been trying to cheer eachother up during the burial. It didn't work because we cried the whole way through it and a while after that until we had no more tears left.

"Stay close to eachother if anybody attacks don't hesitate to cut their throats!! " Dougal shouted the orders at no one in particular. All of us cantered in a steady pace not wanting to tier out the horses. It was a start to a long journey but me not being optimistic I knew something was bound to happen. In the end I will get my revenge. First of all I will help Claire travel back to the future  . I will also find the man that shot Connor and torture him endlessly making him go through so much pain. Shivers of excitement go up my spine as I even think of it. I will go maniac and I will make him taste my wrath. He messed with the wrong girl. He will pay and he will pay dearly. I will find his family and I will destroy them too I will make him watch as I do it. I will rise and I will kill I will destroy I will plunder I will bleed out the ones who did me wrong. I will be the devil himself in the body of a young girl. I will raise hell and I will succeed. I will be number one. No king and no Prince and no Lord will stand above me. I will be at the top.