•Dedicated to≈ qutegirlrisa
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"Sometimes, it's better to take the flings and fists that life throws at you because sometimes, you need a break from being so strong."

-Kamoyrocks 😊
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*Trigger Warning*

Julia's POV

I open the door and the room is dark. I wave of relief runs through me, knowing that Linda is asleep.

I put down my shoes and set to go upstairs when the lights switched on. And there she was, sitting on the couch, with a bottle of rum in her hands. I choose to ignore her and go to my room but her voice prevented me from doing so.

"Where have you been?" She asks as she looks at me from head to toe. Something about her seems...off. The way her eyes are fixated on me. It gives me a sudden chill.

"Mi did at mi friend house." I answer.

"You have friends?" She gets up and walks to me. All the warning bells in my head start to go off but I stay still. Let's see where this will go...

"Yes." She puts the rum bottle down and walks until she is in front of me.

"Why didn't you tell me?" She asks.

"Because mi don't want to." I don't trust her anyway. I'm spearing us both the short conservation here.

"Oh really?" In a swift movement, she slaps me and I, caught off guard, fall to the floor.
"You selfish girl! You don't even consider calling me to tell me! What if something happen to you? What would your father say?" She screams. Oh! So now she cares? I scoff.

"He woulda understand. Unlike you, yuh don't care about mi!" I was fuming.

"Your right. I can't stand you because of you and your stupid accent. Your nothing but a mistake and I wish you died the same time your sorry excuse for a mom died." She says and kicks me in the side and I cough. Now she really hit a nerve right there.

"Sorry excuse for a mother?! Look at you? You call yourself a mom? Yuh don't even care about de fact that my mom died and was so quick to marry my papa! And den, yuh go an threaten mi if mi tell anyone your abusing mi?" I shout. I have been holding this in for a good while and it kinda of feels good to let it out. "Your not my mother and you never will be!!! I hate you!!!" At first I saw a shock and hurt expression on her face but it went as soon as it came.

"I'm glad you do because I do to!" She jumps at me, tackling me once I got up off the floor. She starts beating me; abusing me, while I try my uttermost best to fight back. Once I'm on top of her, I give her a good bow in her face before I run to my room to get some clothes and some money.

I stop at the entrance... My room is a total wreck I thought. I ignore that and run to get the stuff I need.

As soon as I'm done, I run down the stairs, heading straight for the door.

"Where are you going?" The woman asks.

"Mi a leave. I can't live wid you anymore!" I open the door and hastily put my shoes on.

"Where would you go!?"

"That's none of your business!" I have really had enough of this woman.

"Alright fine! Go then! Just know that no one will want a worthless piece of slut like you. Your just a mistake, you always will be." She said the last words coldly and I run and close the door, running down the streets, tears streaming down my face as I completely have no idea on where to go.

I could go to Jace's house but not at this time of the night, besides, the bodyguards didn't know me enough to let me in. And everyone is probably asleep. I don't want to burden them because of my problems, they seem like such a happy family and I don't want to change that.

I walk until I find a bar. Not quite sure what I'm doing at a bar but its better than walking around the streets at this time of the night. I take a seat and the bartender comes to me.

"What will you have?" She asks.

"A lemonade please."

"Coming right up. Oh and I love your accent by the way." She says.

"Tanks. Hey, what time dis bar close?"

"Its open 24 hours a day." She chimes. A man comes to sit beside me.

"Well hello there." He gives me a toothy grin, showing his yellow teeth. He gives me a one over and I mentally cringe.

"Hi." Just then the lady brings back my order. I quickly down the lemonade, in a hurry to leave. I pay for the drinks and walk out.

"Hey." The same man says. I start walking faster. "Don't run away doll."

Well it's a good thing I'm not a doll because I'm running the hell away.

I start running because I really need to get away from this man. I think I lost him, I thought. I walk until I find myself in a backyard full of grass, and I am lucky to find a razor, as I use it to slit my wrist, as I cry myself to sleep.

..............

It is morning and I look like a creep I'm sure.

It just so occurred to me that I have school. I can't miss today, I have too many tests and assignments and ain't nobody gonna be so kind to take my assignments and tests for me. I quickly put my hair in two puffs, then change my jeans and put on my red sweater to hide my scars.

I probably smelled like a dead dog inside a dead dog but I didn't care anyway. I probably have bruises from that women and I probably look dirty but I am not gonna give up just yet.

Finally arriving at school, I head to my locker, looking for my book when one of Bianca's girls come up to me, I think its Brianna.

"You have some real nerve trying to take Jace away from Bianca. Look at you, your pathetic! You will never fit in here. Your black! We are all white and you are just the odd one out. You don't belong hear. I don't even want to touch you right now because I might become black too." She sneers at me and it takes everything in me to not hit this girl and hold in my tears.

"Mi nah tek Jace away from Bianca." I choke.

"Yes you are!! You think we didn't see what happen at the ball?! Your nothing but a slut!" She pushes me and I do it back, making her fall on the floor. I made sure to drag her by her extensions, making her cry out in pain. She looks up at me in fear before crawling slowly away.

That's what you get for messing wid one bad gyal from Jamaica....

"Everyone hates you here. Just look on the messages on your phone. Its better you just kill yourself now." She calls out.

I check my phone and freeze at the messages that arrive on it. No....

"Julia is a black freak!"

"Julia is a slut!"

"Julia is a whore!"

"She is so stupid, she won't graduate or make it out here alive."

"She hangs out with boys because she is a lesbian!"

"Look at how she just suddenly brought all of the popular boys to her? She must be working witchcraft."

" Jace will never love a black freak like her."

"I saw her at the bar yesterday running from a guy she just banged."

"Julia is not a virgin"

"Go back in the hole you climbed out of freak of nature."

"If I was you, I would kill myself. That's what you should consider doing."

I close my locker and run to class. How could they do this to me? What did I do? All of this has chopped right through me and I feel as if I can't breathe. How could people be so cruel to the point that they make people feel so bad about themselves.

I hate myself. I hate this school. Hate is a strong word but I guess that today is hate day.

The day runs by miserably and as I walk through the halls of this school, everyone scorns me, giving me dirty looks and with everyone walking and look so...what's the word...fit in? And me just walking with them I realise how much of an outcast I really am.

I stick out like I sore thumb on a finger. The only black girl in this school while 100% of this school is white. No one is not even near the complexion of black, they are all white.

I can't seem to focus as I do my tests and in some of the classes I hear girls gossiping about me.

It is lunch time and I run to the bathroom and look on my appearance.

I look like a mess...

My hair looks dry and messy, my face has freshly new bruises, and I look dirty. I don't usually cry but right now I'm crying my eyes out and reading the messages over and over again. I know it won't help but it only reminds me of what a worthless mistake I really am. Just then the door clicks open and I fear that that its Bianca and her crew.

To my surprise, its just some girls who like the others, scorn me. No, not them, I can't let them see me like this. I push past them, running as fast as I can away. I have to get out here before I go crazy.

I've had enough of all of this. I need to do something now before I completely loose it.

I run outside, unsure of where I am going, I look at the school roof and smile a little. This is it. Just as I'm there, a tear slips from my eyes as I look down at the ground. I whisper to myself.

"I'm sorry mom. I'm sorry dad. I'm sorry world for being such a mistake and I get that you don't want me here. I have nothing to live for. I'm sorry God but this solider has given up. I'm sorry. If only you could send an miracle then maybe I would not be doing this. I'm sorry" Just as I'm about to fall, I pair of muscular arms wrap around my waist and whispers in my ear.

"You not going anywhere."

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A/N: *awkward cough* hi guys. Please don't hate me. But these are the types of things that happens when someone gets bullied. And please guys, report it, it is a crime and a real situation that will lead to many deaths and bad thoughts.

Reflection: Don't give up guys. If your still here then that means that there is still hope somewhere in you. Don't allow anyone and I mean NO ONE to bring you down to the point where you feel like to end it because somehow, God is still working on you. He is still working on a solution in your life and it takes time.

He is just testing you all to see if you are strong and by the fact that you are still here, you are incredibly strong. Hang in there guys, things will and are going to get better even if it takes years and you will hold out during those years. Always remember that:

God has to break you to build you...

May God bless you all and keep you safe during the new years (:

Kamoyrocks out...