•Dedicated to= DamilolaElijah8
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"Hate in all fairness is just love that has gone wrong. Hating will only result in undying love."

-Kamoyrocks
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Julia's POV

"You guys coming to Jamaica with us?" Jace asks the gang, taking piece of my sandwich. I glare at him and he kisses my forehead.

"Uh, like duh." Ethan says. "Even if I wasn't invited, I would have still came. There's no escaping the Ethan."

"Damn right." Lucas says, rolling his eyes. Everyone laughs at his remark.

"What's that suppose to mean?" Ethan squeals in fake horror.

"It means your an annoying dick." Drake says.

"Thank you so my for that visual Drake. Now I have something disturbing to think about in chemistry class." Brook says distastefully.

"Your welcome princess." He winks at her, making her send him a death glare. If you could kill, he'd be dead right now.

"Anyways, as I keep on asking, but someone just has to keep butting in." Jace rolls his eyes. "Are you guys coming to Jamaica with us?"

"Yes."
"Sure."
"There better be food there."
"I'm down."
"Sounds chill."
"I'll go if Julia gives me a lap dance."

My eyes snap to Jace.

"What the fudge dude?" Alexander says.

"What?" Drake says innocently.

"You are the worst." Brook says getting up. I chuckle at her frame as she walks away.

"What's wrong with her?" I ask Alex.

"That time of the month." Alex whispers. "I should probably go to check on her. Will you guys-"

"Dude, go! If anything, she could be bleeding out all of her intestines!" Drake shouts, making everyone in the cafeteria look at us.

All of the colour has been drained from Alex's face as he rushes in the direction where Brook went.

"I can't believe he fell for that." Drake snorts, making Alexander's girlfriend glare at him.

"Boi, you disgust me!" Ethan squeals getting up. "I'm going to class."

"Yeah, we should probably get going." Jace says shaking his head.

"Yeah." Alexander says but stops me. "Uh Julia? What Drake said, he's not right, is he?"

"No." I chuckle, roughling his hair, making him blush.

"Okay, just making sure." He says softly, walking away with his girlfriend.

I shake my head.

............

"Are you sure?" Jace asks, turning the corner, looking at me with confusion.

"Yes." I breathe. "I need to talk to Linda. She need to know that its not okay to be lying to mi father behind mi back."

"Okay, I understand but why do you care what she thinks? She isn't worth your time." He holds my hand. I smile at him gratefully.

"I don't care what she thinks. I don't. But, I don't like the fact that she's lying to my father. I love him and I'm not gonna just sit here and make she think that its okay."

"Okay." He smiles at me, finally pulling up to what used to be my house. I just stare at it, not really sure what to expect.

"I could go in there with you if you want." He whispers.

"No, I- I just want you to be outside. And I'm gonna call you if I need you."

"Okay, you got this." He kisses my hand. I smile, stepping out of the car and heading towards the front door. My hand goes on the door knob, but I quickly remove it.

I can do this.

I always feel this deja vù when I'm at this door. It always ends up badly. But this time, I was not afraid, I wasn't scared anymore. Besides...

What else could she do to hurt me?

I'm about to open the door, when suddenly, I hear two ear deafening bangs inside. I quickly fall to the ground, covering my ears.

I start to shake when I feel Jace run up to me, holding my body close to his. He places me on the bench slowly taking out a wrench, going inside slowly.

I knew what those sounds were, they were gun shots.

Gun shots.

"Oh God no..." I hear Jace say from inside. I get up shakingly, walking slowly inside. Immediately, my heart drops.

Because I have no idea what could be more horrific than this.

Seeing Linda on the ground bleeding out.

I rush to her, tears streaming down my face. I quickly bring her face in my arms.

"Jace! Call the ambulance! Now!" I scream, but he was already on it.

"Linda!" I scream, shaking her. "Get up!" I scream at her, not caring at the blood rubbing on me.

"Julia..." she whispers breathlessly. "I- I di- didn''t want you to s-see m-me like this." She coughs out blood.

"Hang on. We're g-gonna get help. Your gonna make it. You have to." I sob.

"Its not p-possible. I-I'm not gonna m-make it." She coughs. "I d-d-deserve to die."

"No, you don't." I try to cover up her wounds to stop it from bleeding.

"I do." She smiles weakly. "I'm the w-worst mother, h-haven't been the b-best wife. I treat you s-so badly and I'm s-sorry. I don't d-deserve this fam-family. I d-don't deserve a-anything." She says, losing each breath at the minute.

Where was the damn ambulance already?

"If I-I'm going to be honest, I a-always loved you. You an a-angel. I- didn't know how t-to treat an angel when I was a d-devil. I loved your d-dad b-but I couldn't g-give him the l-love he w-wanted l-like your m-mom did. I will never be her. I just wanted to t-take a-away someone e-else's joy b-because I didn't have any. I'm s-sorry Julia. F-For all the p-pain I caused y-you."

"Hey, its okay." I smile wearily, knowing that she truly wasn't going to make it because the ambulance wasn't even near. She didn't stand a chance. "You wanted to be loved. You wanted to feel happy again. I understand. Yes, you've hurt me, but I've moved past that. To be honest, I still considered you as my mom. Still loved you even though you hated me. Still came back to you even though you fought me. I never meant it when I said I hated you. Yes, you've done me wrong, but I still and will always love you."

"T-This is why I-I don't d-deserve you. You g-give m-me second c-chances w-when I- I don't deserve it. You t-truly are something Julia. Your gonna m-make this world b-better. So much better. N-Never let a-anyone t-take away your h-happiness. Continue to b-be that light t-that everyone needs. P-People need people like you to save them. A-And you, a-are gonna s-save m-many many people. W-When y-your b-birthday c-comes, p-promise that y-you'll be h-happy no m-matter what happens. And d-don't eat off all t-the cake."

I laugh at the same time she does. My tears start to stain her clothes as her blood starts to stain mine. More and more blood starts to ooze out, making me know that it was almost her time.

"H-here. I-I'm s-sorry." Her shaking hands unfolds to reveal my bracelet. My eyes widen in sorry as she smiles weakly. "A-after you left, I-I felt terrible. I-I started t-to h-hate m-myself e-even m-more, s-so, I-I spent m-my w-whole t-t-time, t-trying to fix it. For all the t-things I-I did to y-you and f-felt terrible, I-I thought t-that this t-time I'll m-make up for it."

"Oh mom." I sob. "T-Thank you."

"Y-Your welcome. M-My b-beautiful daughter." She caresses my cheek, making me sob even louder.

I hug her, hug her so tight because I didn't get the chance to say goodbye to my other mom, now, I finally got to to.

Her breathing starts to get short signalling that its time, and I hug her even tighter.

"I'll never forget you mom." I whisper just as she takes her last breath.

And she laid there in my arms

And I cried, not paying attention to the sirens I heard. Because the only thing that kept on repeating over and over in my head was that...

I had lost my mom once again.

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A/N: I couldn't write anymore because my hands are shaking from me crying right now. Let me know what you guys think about this chapter. (Linda did not kill herself)

Reflection: Suicide never solves anything. You will not end up somewhere better. I know how life is and trust me, sometimes I can start to think suicidally (I'm not sure that's a word). But you have to over power your negative thoughts and think positive. Always. It will make you see the brighter days are coming. I'm not asking you to be perfect, because we all have to think negatively at one point in our lives but that doesn't mean that you should think that its better to kill yourself. You were born with a purpose. You will fulfill that purpose, you are gonna fulfill that purpose.

Somewhere, somehow, there is someone who couldn't live without you. There is something stopping you from ending your life. And when it might seem like the whole world wants you to die, or is literally on your shoulder, its because life is pushing you to do better, to be stronger. You are the light of this world, you might not see it, but you are. Never ever forget that.

Each day is a test and you succeed without even knowing. I want you all to do something for me. Promise me that whenever your in your darkest moments, you'll look on the positive side, you'll allow yourself to feel what you do at that moment, you'll talk to someone you trust, to God or to yourself.

You don't need anyone but yourself and God because you both have  been there since the start. Never give up, never loose hope.

May God bless you, May God keep you, have a blessed week

Kamoyrocks ❤